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Taco John
09-10-2005, 10:27 AM
I feel like it's Christmas Eve!

Here's to a safe season for both our teams players :)

I created this a couple of years ago on Kickoff Eve, and thought I'd share it with y'all... Enjoy!




Twas the Night before Kickoff


'Twas the night before Kick-off, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except me and my mouse;
Surfing the Internet, with eyes in a stare
hoping new football information would present itself there.


I was previously nestled, all snug in my bed
with visions of touchdown dances in my head.
And my wife in her nighty, the cat in her lap
knows that Sundays are mine, for a game and a nap.

When up in my head arose such a clatter,
I sat up straight to attend to the matter.
Away to the Internet I flew like a flash,
How did the opposing corner do in the 40 yard dash?

And will our quarterback earn all of that dough
and can he do better than he did a season ago?
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But endless statistics, of days past and last year.

I poured over them, so lively and quick,
If I can't watch football now, stats will have to do the trick.
I dissected those stats, game after game,
With box-scores in my head, but it wasn't the same;

Now rush them, now sack them, now cover, now blitz them!
Now pass it, now run it, that cheerleader's a vixen!
Now look at the scoreboard! Up there on the wall!
We're beating them soundly! Both sides of the ball!

In my mind, games of past like a hurricane fly,
With points on the scoreboard, and fireworks in the sky
And thoughts of that other coach, as he sits and he stews,
With a face full of rage, his hair falling out too.

And our coach is smiling, his gameplan is foolproof
while opposing fans cry, and look all aloof.
Our runningback's on fire, as he's running around,
Easily gaining over a hundred yards on the ground.

He's sneaking and snaking, from left to right foot,
And his uniform is dirty, from all the output;
The linemen are blocking, and getting his back,
And they keep the defenders from getting a sack.

The quarterback's arm -- making their defense so weary!
He scrambles in the pocket, his moves are so scary!
He's calling the cadence, making defenders go,
I can't wait to see this guy play in the snow!

And the opposing offense, gritting their teeth,
As our defenders pile on, their runningback beneath;
He held the ball tightly, right near his belly,
Then we shook, and we took, as if his arms were like jelly.

Their quarterback shaken, their backup comes off the shelf,
And I laughed when I saw him throw the ball to himself;
A tear his eye and a hang in his head,
Our defenders barking and drooling, filling him with dread;

Our coach kept piling on, paying off all that work,
And filled up the scoreboard; thier coach looks like a jerk,
Up on the scoreboard, the score rose and rose,
Many points on our side, on the other side zeros!

And at the last tick of the clock, the ref blew his whistle,
with the ball sailing toward the endzone like a missle.
And as I snapped out of it, I regained my sight,
"HAPPY SUNDAY TO ALL, AND ALSO MONDAY-NIGHT!"

--credit Taco John at OrangeMane.com

BigOlChiefsfan
09-10-2005, 10:44 AM
Nice. Here's to a safe season.

htismaqe
09-10-2005, 10:45 AM
Good work, Taco. :thumb:

Here's to another season of NFL football...

Frazod
09-10-2005, 10:45 AM
Go Dolphins. nlm

Hydrae
09-10-2005, 10:46 AM
Well done TJ :thumb:

And a safe, injury free year to the Br oncos as well.

WilliamTheIrish
09-10-2005, 10:52 AM
Nice job.

Hammock Parties
09-10-2005, 10:52 AM
Santa has a stocking full of interceptions for Plummer.

WilliamTheIrish
09-10-2005, 10:52 AM
3rd and 1.

Get a first down here lads.

Frazod
09-10-2005, 10:54 AM
3rd and 1.

Get a first down here lads.

Wrong thread. :doh!:

WilliamTheIrish
09-10-2005, 10:54 AM
Phugg. Did you see that?

They had 9 guys w/in 2 yards of the LOS.

I'd throw that up and let Figurs bring it down. Webb either didn't have confidence or got outta the huddle too late to audible.

WilliamTheIrish
09-10-2005, 10:55 AM
They jumped. Sweet.

the Talking Can
09-10-2005, 10:55 AM
funny...I was driving around earlier thinking about a "T'was the Night Before Football" post....it feels that way, I'm giddy...my whole day is cleared: no work, no family, no phones, no nothing....Chiefs...then a great night game with Colts/Ravens....heaven

and though I hate Donkos, I fear you will destroy Miami tomorrow....

WilliamTheIrish
09-10-2005, 10:56 AM
O aww shiot.

Thanks for saving me fraz.

Rain Man
09-10-2005, 10:59 AM
Santa Claus wears red.

the Talking Can
09-10-2005, 11:01 AM
Santa Claus wears red.

and prostitutes his elves....

4th and Long
09-10-2005, 11:02 AM
Santa Claus wears red.
Yes he does! :thumb:

Chiefs Pantalones
09-10-2005, 11:29 AM
Plummer is playing the role of the Grinch...

He's going to steal your season, Bronco fans, right from under your noses.

Katipan
09-10-2005, 11:42 AM
i hope you get a hang nail

Taco John
09-10-2005, 12:35 PM
funny...I was driving around earlier thinking about a "T'was the Night Before Football" post....it feels that way, I'm giddy...my whole day is cleared: no work, no family, no phones, no nothing....Chiefs...then a great night game with Colts/Ravens....heaven

and though I hate Donkos, I fear you will destroy Miami tomorrow....



Saban says he wants to "open it up" against us... So I hope we do destroy them.

Chiefs Pantalones
09-10-2005, 12:38 PM
Saban says he wants to "open it up" against us... So I hope we do destroy them.

If you don't beat them, that would be bad news for you.

On that note, here's to an 0-16 season for your Broncos! :) :p

Taco John
09-10-2005, 12:39 PM
It would be a colossal failure.

Chiefs Pantalones
09-10-2005, 12:41 PM
It would be a colossal failure.

ROFL

If you don't drop 40 on them, I'm kicking your ass.

Buzzsaw
09-10-2005, 12:43 PM
Credit to my boy Green Jets & Ham over at JI:

TWAS THE NIGHT


'Twas the night before the opener, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even your spouse;


The remote control lied on your table with care,

In hopes that the kickoff soon would be here;


The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of touchdowns danced in their heads;


And there you all lied with your shiney new caps,

Hoping to get just the briefest of naps,


When on the tv there arose such a chatter,

Those sportscenter dopes, oh never the matter.


But away to the tube I flew like a bird

Would the swam pick the Jets, I must hear the word?


But where is the swam, I see only an ad?

It's another commercial ... okay, my bad


When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

It's the swam and his hat, and the rest of his gear


With a wink and a nod, he did pick the Jets

His reason was clear, they removed washed up vets


More rapid than Jets, his words filtered out

The Patsies he said, will be wearing the pout


"Now Vilma! now Abe! now Ellis and Barrett!

On, Chad! and on Law! on Curtis! ... No Hackett!


To the top of the standings! But it's only week one

Ah what the heck, it's all in good fun!


As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

He Joked about Ricky, made the Dolphin fans cry


His eyes how they twinkled when ripping Miami

Said isn't this fun, I love being the swami


His fat little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

He then warned the east, with football comes snow


But he had a good word for the fans of the green

Said the Dolphins dodge snow, but their wins will be lean


Then he let out a roar with his round little belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.


He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old foo,

Then he shocked Buffalo when he bailed on them too!


A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;


He spoke not a word, but went straight to his ball,

Then spoke the words ... and New England will fall!!


Then laying his finger aside to his ball,

Said his crystal has spoken ... and the Jets win it all!!


He sprang to his feet, to the Jets gave a wink,

Said Ty Law closed the deal, now champagne the Jets drink!


Then I heard him exclaim, as he strolled out of sight,

"It's the year of the Jets, and to all a good-night."
__________________
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Rain Man
09-10-2005, 02:56 PM
There once was a team called the Jets
Whose defense had multiple vets
They took on the Chiefs
And soiled their briefs
And now they are known as the Wets

Taco John
09-10-2005, 03:25 PM
I don't get it. Where's the part about my member?

Red Dawg
09-10-2005, 03:25 PM
This is no time to be nice and you don't mean it anyway. I hope the Donkeys lose every game. Secretly you hope the same of the Chiefs.

keg in kc
09-10-2005, 03:36 PM
F*ck luck. F*ck the donkeys.

Taco John
09-10-2005, 10:28 PM
This is no time to be nice and you don't mean it anyway. I hope the Donkeys lose every game. Secretly you hope the same of the Chiefs.



I'm 100% sincere... I don't like seeing players get injured... I'd rather see teams at full strength.

Taco John
09-10-2005, 10:28 PM
Man it's hard to sleep when you have adrenaline pumping through ya...

the Talking Can
09-10-2005, 10:29 PM
no shit, this sucks....I just want it to be game time

Taco John
09-10-2005, 10:32 PM
Luckily, I have a project to distract me... I just bought myself a new bar-b-que to assemble!

Rock!

http://z.about.com/d/bbq/1/0/-/1/Jenn_Air_45,000_170.jpg

Eleazar
09-10-2005, 11:17 PM
I'll much prefer slapping them down at full strength too :)

Wrasse
09-10-2005, 11:22 PM
Luckily, I have a project to distract me... I just bought myself a new bar-b-que to assemble!

Rock!

http://z.about.com/d/bbq/1/0/-/1/Jenn_Air_45,000_170.jpg
Congrats!

I can't wait for tomorrow! :)

It does feel like X-Mas.

RealSNR
09-10-2005, 11:33 PM
I picked the Donkos in my Survivor league.

If they win, I win.

If they lose, I lose but I will have the sweet knowledge that the Donkos are as inconsistant as ever.