WisChief
09-25-2005, 04:47 PM
I never really imagined that I would make a post like this. I honestly don’t really know what I expect by doing it – I think it will be a chance to vent a little and I suppose I’m looking for some supportive words. Over the years I’ve come to realize that we have some very, very caring, smart, supportive, intelligent and plain ol super people here. I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a few of you and that only reinforced my beliefs about this community.
Here we go – in the last two years my life has completely been turned up side down – some good and some very bad.
About 2 years ago I was recruited away from my former employer to one of our largest competitors. It was a very hard decision for a number of reasons but I packed my family up and moved to Chicago. The job has been wonderful – I fully expect it will be all I had hoped and expected.
It’s all gone down hill from there. It took about the entire 2 years to sell my home in Wisconsin and for about ½ of that time I had to pay two house payments and for those of you that live in Chicago – you know what homes cost here (I'm one step below the level where the company would buy the house outright). It was a very trying time financially but we made it. I now have more credit card debt than I’ve ever had in my life – it’s nasty, but I’m working through it.
Then last Christmas my wife of 10 years told me she is tired of my shit and told me she was taking our kids and moving back to Wisconsin. In June she left. I know live alone in a 700 sq ft studio (from a 3000 sq ft home) and have my kids 2x a month. We’ve still not filed for divorce, but as the days go by, I wish she would. I’m tired and I just want it to be over.
And now, to top it all off, I found out yesterday that my father has lung cancer. He’s going to die. My mother has been hiding from me how sick he’s been for a few weeks now and had it not been for my sister in law calling yesterday and telling me I’m sure my mom still would not tell me. I tried to call him today, but he won’t take my call. My dad is such a proud man and I know what he’s thinking. He’s embarrassed and he’s scared and he doesn’t want me to know or worry about him because of all the things that have been happening in my life that last few months. My mother is so very upset and I think she’s having a very hard time but she too is worried about bothering me with all this.
I told her that I would fly down there (Joplin) tomorrow morning first thing but they will have nothing to do with it. My brother and his wife are there and taking care of their business (they own an industrial cleaning business), but they are demanding that no one else from the family be there. My dad’s brothers and sisters don’t even know yet how bad he is.
I tell you, I’m not sure what to do anymore. The last few weeks I’ve finally found a way to swallow my pride and started seeing a psychologist. I’ve joined a support group and I thought I was finally starting to find a way out of this mess. I’m exploring going back to school. I’m working on being social to my kid’s mother and I’m finding ways to not be so mad all the time. I’m scared, I’m sad and I’m lost.
So, if you took the time to read to this point, I would only ask that you just pray for my mom and dad and all my family.
THANKS CP!
Here we go – in the last two years my life has completely been turned up side down – some good and some very bad.
About 2 years ago I was recruited away from my former employer to one of our largest competitors. It was a very hard decision for a number of reasons but I packed my family up and moved to Chicago. The job has been wonderful – I fully expect it will be all I had hoped and expected.
It’s all gone down hill from there. It took about the entire 2 years to sell my home in Wisconsin and for about ½ of that time I had to pay two house payments and for those of you that live in Chicago – you know what homes cost here (I'm one step below the level where the company would buy the house outright). It was a very trying time financially but we made it. I now have more credit card debt than I’ve ever had in my life – it’s nasty, but I’m working through it.
Then last Christmas my wife of 10 years told me she is tired of my shit and told me she was taking our kids and moving back to Wisconsin. In June she left. I know live alone in a 700 sq ft studio (from a 3000 sq ft home) and have my kids 2x a month. We’ve still not filed for divorce, but as the days go by, I wish she would. I’m tired and I just want it to be over.
And now, to top it all off, I found out yesterday that my father has lung cancer. He’s going to die. My mother has been hiding from me how sick he’s been for a few weeks now and had it not been for my sister in law calling yesterday and telling me I’m sure my mom still would not tell me. I tried to call him today, but he won’t take my call. My dad is such a proud man and I know what he’s thinking. He’s embarrassed and he’s scared and he doesn’t want me to know or worry about him because of all the things that have been happening in my life that last few months. My mother is so very upset and I think she’s having a very hard time but she too is worried about bothering me with all this.
I told her that I would fly down there (Joplin) tomorrow morning first thing but they will have nothing to do with it. My brother and his wife are there and taking care of their business (they own an industrial cleaning business), but they are demanding that no one else from the family be there. My dad’s brothers and sisters don’t even know yet how bad he is.
I tell you, I’m not sure what to do anymore. The last few weeks I’ve finally found a way to swallow my pride and started seeing a psychologist. I’ve joined a support group and I thought I was finally starting to find a way out of this mess. I’m exploring going back to school. I’m working on being social to my kid’s mother and I’m finding ways to not be so mad all the time. I’m scared, I’m sad and I’m lost.
So, if you took the time to read to this point, I would only ask that you just pray for my mom and dad and all my family.
THANKS CP!