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View Full Version : The ten steps to fixing this abomination...this season.

Rain Man
10-02-2005, 06:59 PM
1. Get Willie Roaf back. While we can't hang all of our problems on his absence, it's a simple fact that weaknesses on an offensive line are exponential. One weaknesses = one point. Two weaknesses = four points. Additionally, Roaf's absence turns a strength into a weakness, so it's double the problem.

2. Throw the team onto Priest's shoulders. He's carried it before, he'll carry it again. 25 to 30 touches for the high priest.

3. Submit Jerome Woods' retirement papers. He retired in the offseason, but he's still taking up a roster spot. Give him a nice gold watch and get Shaunard Harts back in here.

4. Get Parker off the field. Let him learn how to catch in practice, not during games. Get Boerigter in there.

5. Let the drinker stop the driving. Get Warfield back on the field, and give him a little sip of whiskey in a Gatorade cup every time he makes a good play.

6. Gonzalez is not a blocker. He exists to catch footballs, not to block. Tape this message to your steering wheel, Al.

7. Stop telegraphing blitzes!!!!!! In the 8th grade, these guys should've learned to not line up differently when they're blitzing versus when they're in coverage. This is driving me nuts! Stop it! Stop it! Line up the same way every time! Don't tell the other team what you're going to do!

8. Show the entire game. You have to get the crowd involved, and that's not going to happen if the stupid network is showing scrub teams like the Giants and the Rams.

9. Give Rain Man tickets and airfare. I distinctly saw several people in the stands today not yelling, and even leaving early. If you want a real team, import some real fans.

10. Naked cheerleaders. It may not help, but it sure can't hurt.

Okay, I admit that I ran out of steam after seven, but that doesn't change my good intentions.
HemiEd
10-02-2005, 07:02 PM
I vote for you as the new HC. 1-7, is better than we are doing now.
Eleazar
10-02-2005, 07:06 PM
1. Roaf healthy
2. Warfield back in the lineup
3. Blitz instead of calling the defense out of Greg Robinson's playbook
4. Epoxy on Larry Johnson's hands
Hammock Parties
10-02-2005, 07:08 PM
**** it. I'm tired of this shit. Blow the team up.

Anyone wanna assassinate King Carl?
wolfpack0735
10-02-2005, 07:09 PM
you should also give hicks retirement papers also. maybe include the few rare times someone gets to the qb try slowing down alittle. blowing by him or spinning off him dosnt help.
KC Jones
10-02-2005, 07:18 PM
I don't blame the fans for leaving early. When the visiting team hangs 28 unanswered points on you and your team has a shown a pattern of failure it's hard to keep the faith til the last seconds tick off. Hell, it never should have been in a situation where it took a miracle for us to come back in that game.
Bowser
10-02-2005, 07:20 PM
I don't blame the fans for leaving early. When the visiting team hangs 31 unanswered points on you and your team has a shown a pattern of failure it's hard to keep the faith til the last seconds tick off. Hell, it never should have been in a situation where it took a miracle for us to come back in that game.

FYP.
4th and Long
10-02-2005, 07:23 PM
I believe Kevin may be onto something here. :hmmm:
royr17
10-02-2005, 07:23 PM
you should also give hicks retirement papers also. maybe include the few rare times someone gets to the qb try slowing down alittle. blowing by him or spinning off him dosnt help.

Why is everybody so down on Hicks, he is single handedly our best Defensive End.

I mean he may not be producing like he did that one season but he's still a pretty good defensive end IMHO.
Black Jack Savage
10-02-2005, 07:24 PM
I'm no marine, nor a particularly big fan of them, but I tend to subscribe to their theory of 'leave no man behind'. When you leave a game at any point, it feels to me like you are leaving them to the wolves. It's disrespectful. If you want to show your contempt for Carl, then don't come to the games at all, but don't leave early.
Rain Man
10-02-2005, 07:24 PM
I don't blame the fans for leaving early. When the visiting team hangs 28 unanswered points on you and your team has a shown a pattern of failure it's hard to keep the faith til the last seconds tick off. Hell, it never should have been in a situation where it took a miracle for us to come back in that game.


Boooooo. Booooooo. We were one score from winning when the fat lady warbled.
siberian khatru
10-02-2005, 07:25 PM
I vote for you as the new HC.

Kevin can't afford the pay cut.
Skip Towne
10-02-2005, 07:33 PM
Kevin, where did you get all these wild ideas? Go back to counting beans or whatever it is you do. :p
MadMax
10-02-2005, 07:34 PM
**** it. I'm tired of this shit. Blow the team up.

Anyone wanna assassinate King Carl?


Nah, he's not worth the prison time, but if someone else does I won't tell on em. :p
picasso
10-02-2005, 07:38 PM
One more step is QUIT THROWING PASSES PARALLEL TO THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE!!!!! I hate that package, it does nothing!! And STOP playing soft zone when you have a lead!!!!!
dirk digler
10-02-2005, 07:41 PM
I agree with the first six and especially #10.
Otter
10-02-2005, 08:16 PM
4. Get Parker off the field. Let him learn how to catch in practice, not during games. Get Boerigter in there.

Hear, Hear

He looks absolutely clueless out there.

On top of stone hands and finding drops funny, why does he feel the need to jump for almost every ball thrown to him?

The pass he dropped today and at least one in the donkos game the throw is coming at him in his chest/stomach area and he jumps for it out of some kind of knew jerk reaction so it’s hitting him in the groin area.

It’s like bad sand lot football move. I’ve never, ever seen a professional WR do that consistently before. That bad habit should have been coached out of him at the high school level.

If it were up to me he would be receiving his walking papers about now.

Kendrell Bell: this guy has talent, I’ve seen him play and refuse to believe that he lost what I saw in Pittsburg. Every play I was specifically focused on him today it looked like he was spying McNabb. He would just kind of hang out behind the d-line waiting for something happen. WTF?!?!

Whatever he was doing he certainly wasn’t attacking. Take off the leash and let him destroy somebody out there.

Chiefs got beat in Invesco, that bugged me but it was OK the next morning because of the division rival thing and we would have kicked their ass in Arrowhead. We should have won that game today, this one is going to be tough to shake from the team psyche.
Toad
10-02-2005, 08:28 PM
Why is everybody so down on Hicks, he is single handedly our best Defensive End.

I mean he may not be producing like he did that one season but he's still a pretty good defensive end IMHO.

Please...She's not even our best LDE...
Simplex3
10-02-2005, 08:30 PM
Why is everybody so down on Hicks, he is single handedly our best Defensive End.

I mean he may not be producing like he did that one season but he's still a pretty good defensive end IMHO.
Hicks is going to be burned at the stake because he was the original "DV's guy". The fact that he isn't very good doesn't help.

PS, being the best Chief's DL is no honor.
cdcox
10-02-2005, 10:19 PM
I have to add to your excellent list the vauge idea of making some changes in the secondary coverage. As far as I can tell, the plan now is for the back 7 to run in random directions, unless they come within 5 yards of a receiver, in which case they should make whatever adjustments are necessary in order to maintain the 5 yard halo around that reciever.

Some plan that involves the defense covering the receivers would probably be more effective.