ok, it's Monday, and there are a few things I need to get off my chest

[ChiTown]

1. First and foremost, I hate Sunday afternoons in the Fall without watching the Chiefs. It's like having Thanksgiving without the benefit of having turkey.

2. After further review, I'm getting older and uglier than I was the day before. Is there medication for this?

3. I like hamburgers on hamburger buns, my 7 yr old likes peanut butter & jelly on hamburger buns. Should I be worried?

4. I worked out in my yard most of the day yesterday. If the Chiefs had played yesterday, this wouldn't have happened. DAMNIT, CARL!! :cuss:

5. I like sex about as much as I like breathing, but why is it that my wife only gets horny while I'm watching football?

6. My youngest son farts a lot. He's 4 yrs old. At the rate he's going, I'm concerned he won't make it to 5.

7. I know I shouldn't ask, but will Eric Warfield be driving himself to the game this weekend?

8. When I was a kid, if you mixed coke and 7-Up together, it was called a suicide. Now, my kids call it a black and white. WTF happened?

9. Do they still make ink pens with erasers? I used to love those things.

10. Bye weeks suck. Is it Game-time yet?

thanks for listening..............

[Rain Man]

Those ink pens with erasers were just cruel taunts to those of us who are left-handed. When they first came out, I was elated, believing that I could at last be an equal in society despite my refusal to use a pencil. (That little scritch-scritch-scritch pencil sound drives me crazy.) But alas, after my first line of writing with the new erasable pen, I was devastated to see that the secret lay not in the eraser, but in the slow-drying ink. The smudged and smeared record of my thoughts was no longer accessible through the written word, and I had to abandon the concept for a more tried and true technology.

[htismaqe]

1. First and foremost, I hate Sunday afternoons in the Fall without watching the Chiefs. It's like having Thanksgiving without the benefit of having turkey.

2. After further review, I'm getting older and uglier than I was the day before. Is there medication for this?

3. I like hamburgers on hamburger buns, my 7 yr old likes peanut butter & jelly on hamburger buns. Should I be worried?

4. I worked out in my yard most of the day yesterday. If the Chiefs had played yesterday, this wouldn't have happened. DAMNIT, CARL!! :cuss:

5. I like sex about as much as I like breathing, but why is it that my wife only gets horny while I'm watching football?

6. My youngest son farts a lot. He's 4 yrs old. At the rate he's going, I'm concerned he won't make it to 5.

7. I know I shouldn't ask, but will Eric Warfield be driving himself to the game this weekend?

8. When I was a kid, if you mixed coke and 7-Up together, it was called a suicide. Now, my kids call it a black and white. WTF happened?

9. Do they still make ink pens with erasers? I used to love those things.

10. Bye weeks suck. Is it Game-time yet?

thanks for listening..............

Funny...I'd call mixing coke and heroin together a suicide...

[chagrin]

Those ink pens with erasers were just cruel taunts to those of us who are left-handed.


Friend of the Devil is a friend of mine

[Iowanian]

Left handed people, should follow Chinese tradition and right from right to left...spelling the words correctly, so that right-minded people could read their backwards writing drivel also.

I busted up a 4' concrete bird bath with a sledge hammer, thereby requalifying for my man-badge....hauled the rubble to a creek and got to drive through a mud hole. I'm still sore.

Installed gutter screens on half of my house. I dispise High places about as much as Donkey fans.

I took down my dog kennel as Truman is no longer an -owanian.

I threw some arrows at a target. Results of this test indicate that any target with clear line of site within 30 yards of Iowanian, can expect a shortened lifespan on this Earth.

+$150 online poker yesterday. Played 5 tourns, and was out of the money 1 time....when Pocket KK wasn't enough vs J4os pokertard.

iowanian's tickets for sunday are confirmed.

[mlyonsd]

7. I know I shouldn't ask, but will Eric Warfield be driving himself to the game this weekend?



I don't care who ya are thats funny right thar.

[Rain Man]

Left handed people, should follow Chinese tradition and right from right to left...spelling the words correctly, so that right-minded people could read their backwards writing drivel also.


.ton ebyam rO .aedi doog si a sihT

[Donger]

4. I worked out in my yard most of the day yesterday.

You worked out in your yard?

Someone's desperate for attention.

[htismaqe]

You worked out in your yard?

Someone's desperate for attention.

Hey ladies, check out these guns...

[Rain Man]

I threw some arrows at a target. Results of this test indicate that any target with clear line of site within 30 yards of Iowanian, can expect a shortened lifespan on this Earth.


I had some Discovery Channel show on in the background last night, and these primitive tribesmen were having an archery contest. Using handmade bows and arrows, they were batting between .600 and .800 shooting from 50 feet at a tree trunk that was about two-thirds the diameter of a telephone pole. Pretty darn impressive, especially considering the manufacturing technology.

[Goapics1]

Hey ladies, check out these guns...
ROFL ROFL ROFL

[ChiTown]

You worked out in your yard?

Someone's desperate for attention.

ROFL

You think the spandex was a bad idea?

[Goapics1]

ROFL

You think the spandex was a bad idea?
Yes.

http://www.4gyz.com/prodimgs/1634.jpg

[jspchief]

Those ink pens with erasers were just cruel taunts to those of us who are left-handed. When they first came out, I was elated, believing that I could at last be an equal in society despite my refusal to use a pencil. (That little scritch-scritch-scritch pencil sound drives me crazy.) But alas, after my first line of writing with the new erasable pen, I was devastated to see that the secret lay not in the eraser, but in the slow-drying ink. The smudged and smeared record of my thoughts was no longer accessible through the written word, and I had to abandon the concept for a more tried and true technology.Imagine the horror of writing right handed, but curling your arm around like a left-hander when you do it. Besides getting to drag my hand through fresh ink, all my cursive leans the wrong way. Plus people mistake me for a lefty, then realize I'm doing it with my right, and look at me with puzzled expressions.

I should sue my school district. How could I get all the way into high school before someone finally realized my problem? I was left behind.

[htismaqe]

I was left behind.

WHAT?!?!?!

The rapture happened and I wasn't notified?

[KCTitus]

I have a confession...I didnt miss KC playing yesterday. Given the last two weeks performances, I didnt need the aggravation.

[Iowanian]

I had some Discovery Channel show on in the background last night, and these primitive tribesmen were having an archery contest. Using handmade bows and arrows, they were batting between .600 and .800 shooting from 50 feet at a tree trunk that was about two-thirds the diameter of a telephone pole. Pretty darn impressive, especially considering the manufacturing technology.
'
Our Very own Seclark is an accomplished Bow and Arrow maker and archer with Primitives.

[jspchief]

I missed the game not being on. Because when I'm at the sportsbar on Sundays, and am not engrossed in watching my team play, I drink considerably more, eat considerably less, and gamble on video golf in dollar amounts that are unmentionable.

So today I'm suffering the after effects of too much tequila, Jaegerbombs, beer, and Tilt (energy booze), along with a much lighter wallet.

[Iowanian]

ROFL

You think the spandex was a bad idea?

If I didn't feel beaten to the joke....I was preparing a bitchin' Tony Little Pic and caption. yoooooooo can dooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiit

[Rain Man]

Imagine the horror of writing right handed, but curling your arm around like a left-hander when you do it. Besides getting to drag my hand through fresh ink, all my cursive leans the wrong way. Plus people mistake me for a lefty, then realize I'm doing it with my right, and look at me with puzzled expressions.

I should sue my school district. How could I get all the way into high school before someone finally realized my problem? I was left behind.

I'm sorry, but I can't sympathize with you. You're talking about reverse handism, but the truth is that this country has a 500-year history of persecution and discrimination and overt handism against left-handers. Try drinking from a water fountain with the handle on the right, or not being able to sit at lunch counters because of the whole banging-elbows thing, or being forced to sit at the back of the bus because...well, okay, we weren't forced to sit at the back of the bus. But nonetheless, we're still discriminated against, and you can't possibly understand. It's a left-handed thing.

[Iowanian]

sounds to me like jsp writes, like he's afflcited by cerebral palsy.

[jspchief]

sounds to me like jsp writes, like he's afflcited by cerebral palsy.Pretty much.

[morphius]

2. After further review, I'm getting older and uglier than I was the day before. Is there medication for this?

3. I like hamburgers on hamburger buns, my 7 yr old likes peanut butter & jelly on hamburger buns. Should I be worried?

4. I worked out in my yard most of the day yesterday. If the Chiefs had played yesterday, this wouldn't have happened. DAMNIT, CARL!! :cuss:

5. I like sex about as much as I like breathing, but why is it that my wife only gets horny while I'm watching football?

6. My youngest son farts a lot. He's 4 yrs old. At the rate he's going, I'm concerned he won't make it to 5.

8. When I was a kid, if you mixed coke and 7-Up together, it was called a suicide. Now, my kids call it a black and white. WTF happened?


2. I believe the cure is death.
3. Tell him that a bun is actually all crust, that should fix the issue.
4. Good, I'm not the only one.
5. Because she likes for you to prove that she is more important then football.
6. Duct tape his ass shut and see how long before you can tie a string on him and call him a balloon.
8. I thought a suicide was 3 or more drinks?

[svuba]

I'm sorry, but I can't sympathize with you. You're talking about reverse handism, but the truth is that this country has a 500-year history of persecution and discrimination and overt handism against left-handers. Try drinking from a water fountain with the handle on the right, or not being able to sit at lunch counters because of the whole banging-elbows thing, or being forced to sit at the back of the bus because...well, okay, we weren't forced to sit at the back of the bus. But nonetheless, we're still discriminated against, and you can't possibly understand. It's a left-handed thing.


You leftys all look the same to me...Isn't it true that most leftys come from broken homes?

[Skip Towne]

As for the older and uglier thing, don't worry about it. Considering how you looked before, the decline is barely noticeable.

[ChiTown]

As for the older and uglier thing, don't worry about it. Considering how you looked before, the decline is barely noticeable.

What do you mean by that?

[gblowfish]

1. First and foremost, I hate Sunday afternoons in the Fall without watching the Chiefs. It's like having Thanksgiving without the benefit of having turkey.

I saw three wild turkeys walking along K-10 outside Lawrence yesterday. Those guys better find a place to chill till after Nov 24th.

2. After further review, I'm getting older and uglier than I was the day before. Is there medication for this?
Oil of Olay. Viagra. Rogaine. Dexatrim. Ester-C. If all that fails, Extacy??

3. I like hamburgers on hamburger buns, my 7 yr old likes peanut butter & jelly on hamburger buns. Should I be worried?
In Sedalia, MO at the Wheel In Drive in, they put peanut butter on the hamburger. Now that's a cause for alarm.

4. I worked out in my yard most of the day yesterday. If the Chiefs had played yesterday, this wouldn't have happened. DAMNIT, CARL!! :cuss:
I'm sure Carl was rude to his doorman, the valet and the waiter yesterday.

5. I like sex about as much as I like breathing, but why is it that my wife only gets horny while I'm watching football?
Sweaty men in jockstraps and tight fitting pants make women that way. Hope you used the "prevent" defense....

6. My youngest son farts a lot. He's 4 yrs old. At the rate he's going, I'm concerned he won't make it to 5. If he holds them in, he may explode before reaching age five...

7. I know I shouldn't ask, but will Eric Warfield be driving himself to the game this weekend?
Good news, no, he's not driving. Bad news, he hitched a ride with the Budweiser Clydesdales...

8. When I was a kid, if you mixed coke and 7-Up together, it was called a suicide. Now, my kids call it a black and white. WTF happened?
Who can afford Coke and 7-Up nowadays???

9. Do they still make ink pens with erasers? I used to love those things.
I hate the sound a pencil makes too. Might as well rake a fork across a blackboard.

10. Bye weeks suck. Is it Game-time yet?
It's the All-PC-Incorrect Bowl at Arrowhead, Sunday, Noon!


thanks for listening..............

[Frosty]

5. I like sex about as much as I like breathing, but why is it that my wife only gets horny while I'm watching football?

I fixed this problem by getting TiVo.

Now she doesn't get horny during football, either.