Bad Lunch

[Otter]

I met with some outside clients today and one of them had the most amazing uni-brow I’ve ever seen in my life. It was like someone super glued a hairy 12” ruler above his eyes.

We went Red Lobster for a lunch and I couldn’t stop staring at the thing.

If you ever met someone hard of hearing and they stare at your lips instead of looking you in the eye when you’re talking, that’s what it was like. I was fascinated by this thing, it was like he had “f#ck you” tattooed on his forehead.

I so bad wanted to tell him to either grow it like he was proud or shave the thing. I probably just blown away a couple grand for the company because of this spectacle.

Please tell me there are other experiences like this.

[Frankie]

Admit it. You are in love.

[Donger]

I once had a client that had a severe flatulence problem. I only took that guy to lunch one time, and it was at Jack's Stack, IIRC.

[Swanman]

Back in college I had an office visit/interview at Ernst & Young in St. Louis and my final interviewer, who was one of the big-name partners, had a severe lazy eye. That was a bit unnerving, but I must have done allright because I got a job offer from them.

[luv]

I'm that way when I meet someone with different colored eyes.

[Ultra Peanut]

ROFL

[Otter]

I'm still sitting here in awe thinking about it.

Since the deal was already blown I should have just picked up my cell phone and taken a picture of the thing.

It was like the late night juicer guy on crack.

[Rain Man]

Back in college I had an office visit/interview at Ernst & Young in St. Louis and my final interviewer, who was one of the big-name partners, had a severe lazy eye. That was a bit unnerving, but I must have done allright because I got a job offer from them.

Actually, they made the offer to the guy sitting to your right. You were looking at the wrong eye.

[Frankie]

I'm still sitting here in awe thinking about it.

Like I said....

[Otter]

Admit it. You are in love.

Trust me on this one, this isn't love. Picture meeting someone who has a finger growing out their forehead, it's more like that.

[Phobia]

I once did that to a lady with a supple torso. Only once though. I promise.

[journeyscarab]

Was his name Bert and did he have a roomate named Ernie?

[|Zach|]

Was his name Bert and did he have a roomate named Ernie?
http://www.lgbtyouth.org.uk/content/structure/getImage.asp?id=292

[ChiTown]

I once had a client that had a severe flatulence problem. I only took that guy to lunch one time, and it was at Jack's Stack, IIRC.

Did he mention this to you, or did you just sniff that one out on your own..........

[Donger]

Did he mention this to you, or did you just sniff that one out on your own..........

Neither. My first clue was him repeatedly lifting up his ass to one side and farting rather loudly. No bullsh*t; this guy probably farted about 30 times during the course of an hour lunch.

[munkey]

Did he mention this to you, or did you just sniff that one out on your own..........

ROFL

[Frankie]

Neither. My first clue was him repeatedly lifting up his ass to one side and farting rather loudly. No bullsh*t; this guy probably farted about 30 times during the course of an hour lunch.
The only way I'd spend more than a minute around this guy is if he has mastered musical notes and can play "The Lonely Goatherd."

[Bootlegged]

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

[Donger]

The only way I'd spend more than a minute around this guy is if he has mastered musical notes and can play "The Lonely Goatherd."

Well, I was trying to close a rather large order, so I put up with it.

[ChiTown]

Neither. My first clue was him repeatedly lifting up his ass to one side and farting rather loudly. No bullsh*t; this guy probably farted about 30 times during the course of an hour lunch.

Interesting.

No dialogue followed that relative to his gas. Like, "hey, sorry 'bout that, but that damn cauliflower just destroys my colon next day..." Anything at all?

[ChiTown]

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

Were you taking a dump while the gentleman was blowing you, or vice-versa?

[Donger]

Interesting.

No dialogue followed that relative to his gas. Like, "hey, sorry 'bout that, but that damn cauliflower just destroys my colon next day..." Anything at all?

No. I simply pretended that I hadn't noticed.

[ChiTown]

No. I simply pretended that I hadn't noticed.

Amazing.

I think the guy was testing you. Did you get the order?

[Donger]

Amazing.

I think the guy was testing you. Did you get the order?

Of course.

[munkey]

Of course.


That's just fing wrong....

[Phobia]

No. I simply pretended that I hadn't noticed.
Excellent. Would you like to go to lunch?

[Donger]

That's just fing wrong....

What is?

[kepp]

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.
So you're the one that put that creepy smile on the King's face
http://img.slate.msn.com/media/1/123125/2065969/2093775/2107696/041006_BurgerKing.jpg

j/k - i couldn't resist

[ChiTown]

Of course.

Donger's Client: Donger, you're a good man. Not many people, including my wife could have withstood the grilling I gave you at lunch today. :fart:

Donger: Thank you, Sir.

Donger's Client: I'm serious, son. When you mentioned that you were willing to go "all the way" to get my business, I had no idea as to what lengths. :fart:

Donger: Thank You, Sir.

Donger's Client: Is this the type of attention to detail and follow up I can expect from you on furture sales calls. :fart:

Donger: Yes Sir.

Donger's Client: Well son, then I think it's time we shook hands and made this thing official. :fart:

Donger: Thank you, Sir, but is there any chance I could just give you the "OK" sign?......................

[munkey]

What is?

That he sat there and did that in front of you like you were his kid brother or in some cases a good friend....a business lunch with someone you hardly know...no way.

It must have been worth a lot of $$$ for you not to say anything.

[Donger]

Donger's Client: Donger, you're a good man. Not many people, including my wife could have withstood the grilling I gave you at lunch today. :fart:

Donger: Thank you, Sir.

Donger's Client: I'm serious, son. When you mentioned that you were willing to go "all the way" to get my business, I had no idea as to what lengths. :fart:

Donger: Thank You, Sir.

Donger's Client: Is this the type of attention to detail and follow up I can expect from you on furture sales calls. :fart:

Donger: Yes Sir.

Donger's Client: Well son, then I think it's time we shook hands and made this thing official. :fart:

Donger: Thank you, Sir, but is there any chance I could just give you the "OK" sign?......................

Heh. More or less.

[Donger]

That he sat there and did that in front of you like you were his kid brother or in some cases a good friend....a business lunch with someone you hardly know...no way.

It must have been worth a lot of $$$ for you not to say anything.

The commission on that deal alone was the down payment on my second house.

[Otter]

I wonder if he knows I was staring at his eyebrow or if he's totaly ignorant to the situation.

[munkey]

The commission on that deal alone was the down payment on my second house.


Double or Triple wide???? ;)

[Ultra Peanut]

I wonder if he knows I was staring at his eyebrow or if he's totaly ignorant to the situation.Oh, he knows...

[Delano]

Actually, they made the offer to the guy sitting to your right. You were looking at the wrong eye.


That is the best laugh I've had this week. :clap:

[onescrewleftuntwisted]

me and a girl i worked with at mcdonalds got hot and steamy in the freezer

[ChiTown]

me and a girl i worked with at mcdonalds got hot and steamy in the freezer

That has bad porn movie written all over it............

[Saulbadguy]

Heh. Red Lobster.

[Carlota69]

At the radio station I work for (KOMP 92.3) we have what we call KOMP Girls. Basically these girls are paid eye candy. They come to station events and get paid to smile and look good. Since I'm in charge of the girls, I and my boss had to inteview the applicants.

Well, this one chick came in like she was ll that and a bag of chips. I mean total stuck-up attitude. Duringthe interview I began to notice a slight stench. I was wondering where it came from. As the interview progressed, the smell got stronger, as did her attitude. As I'm sitting there listening to her stories about how stupid people are at her other job, I noticed that she actually had the gall to take off her shoes. The Culprit: STINKY FEET. I couldn't even look at her after that.

Needless to say, she didn't get the job. Although she did stalk me after that for quite some time. Crazy bitch.

[sedated]

I wonder if he knows I was staring at his eyebrow or if he's totaly ignorant to the situation.

People have looked at his freakish brow his entire life.

He probably thinks everyone looks at everyone else above the eyes.

[Frankie]

At the radio station I work for (KOMP 92.3) we have what we call KOMP Girls. Basically these girls are paid eye candy. They come to station events and get paid to smile and look good. Since I'm in charge of the girls, I and my boss had to inteview the applicants.

Well, this one chick came in like she was ll that and a bag of chips. I mean total stuck-up attitude. Duringthe interview I began to notice a slight stench. I was wondering where it came from. As the interview progressed, the smell got stronger, as did her attitude. As I'm sitting there listening to her stories about how stupid people are at her other job, I noticed that she actually had the gall to take off her shoes. The Culprit: STINKY FEET. I couldn't even look at her after that.

Needless to say, she didn't get the job. Although she did stalk me after that for quite some time. Crazy bitch.
Musta been a guy in drag. We all know women's feet don't smell.

[sedated]

me and a girl i worked with at mcdonalds got hot and steamy in the freezer

yeah, those mop buckets can get pretty hot.

lucky you were in the freezer.

[ExtremeChief]

"Do I have a zit or something???? I just couldn't get over the feeling that Otter was staring at my forehead for some reason."










http://forums.climbing.com/photopost/data/506/579mirror_052.jpg

[Alton deFlat]

Needless to say, she didn't get the job. Although she did stalk me after that for quite some time. Crazy bitch.

Maybe...... if you told her your name was Carlota69, her interest was piqued. Just a thought.

[ExtremeChief]

Maybe...... if you told her your name was Carlota69, her interest was piqued. Just a thought.

She just wanted to see you drive one of the other 68 cars.

[Biohazard]

me and a girl i worked with at mcdonalds got hot and steamy in the freezer
What did you get into a fist fight over who got to salt the fries next?

[Biohazard]

[QUOTE=ExtremeChief]"Do I have a zit or something???? I just couldn't get over the feeling that Otter was staring at my forehead for some reason."


Bejezus, that was one of your good sides huh? By the way that is one big F'N picture.....tapping fingers on desk waiting.

[ExtremeChief]

[QUOTE=ExtremeChief]"Do I have a zit or something???? I just couldn't get over the feeling that Otter was staring at my forehead for some reason."


Bejezus, that was one of your good sides huh? By the way that is one big F'N picture.....tapping fingers on desk waiting.

What are you waiting for... the Wahhhmbulance????




Not my fault you are posting on a Commodore.

[Biohazard]

What are you waiting for... the Wahhhmbulance????




Not my fault you are posting on a Commodore.
Yeah but its a C-64. You know 64 bytes per hour! Thats fast right?