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KChiefsQT
10-25-2005, 12:56 PM
Just thought this might make some of you smile at least once...


Only in America.....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. !

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? !
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

munkey
10-25-2005, 01:01 PM
WooWoo PBJ

ChiefFripp
10-25-2005, 01:04 PM
ALL of those were good.

jidar
10-25-2005, 01:06 PM
Welcome to 1997

luv
10-25-2005, 01:07 PM
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open! :)

KChiefsQT
10-25-2005, 01:11 PM
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open! :)

hAHAHAHA Props!!

Kclee
10-25-2005, 01:13 PM
George Carlin rocks.

ptlyon
10-25-2005, 01:15 PM
I can put on mascara with my mouth closed. I'm a woman. It's my perogative to have my mouth open! :)

smile like a donut!

ptlyon
10-25-2005, 01:15 PM
George Carlin rocks.

I thought it was Robin Williams?

luv
10-25-2005, 01:17 PM
smile like a donut!
ROFL

shakesthecat
10-25-2005, 01:17 PM
I thought it was Robin Williams?

I coulda swore it was Ted Nugent

BigRedChief
10-25-2005, 01:25 PM
I coulda swore it was Ted Nugent
Nope. Andy Rooney

Simplex3
10-25-2005, 01:32 PM
Are all of you jackasses finished trying to place credit for Scanlon's work elsewhere?