A touchy subject

[Tinlar]

I've been around here for a few years and while I don't post as often as many I'm not totally unknown. Because of the many of you will already know that I'm to father of 7 month old twin girls. I love them very very much and they have my heart tied in knots right now.

Me and my wife plan on attempting a third child with the hopes of a boy. To be clear this has nothing to do with how much I love my girls are that I think they are less precious or beautiful than a boy.

While doing some reading I've found that there is a new pregnancy test on the market (I believe or if not it will be shortly) that works off of chemical signatures in the womans body and can not only detect pregnancy with the same accuracy as a clinic but has a 95% accuracy in predicting the childs gender. The controversy about this new test it that it gives the readings as fast as 3 to 4 days after inception. During that time period "Day after" pills are still effective... you see where I'm going with this by now I'm sure. This isn't something I even want to consider but I'd like to bounce it off the community to get feedback on what you guys think of that.

My first thought was that it was slightly abhorrent then some of my logic circuits kicked in and I started thinking. Three or four days? That is hardly a baby by any means of measure... just a bump of very few cells. A soup that will become a baby. This is kind of a way of looking to see what is going into the soup before cooking it. Then I looked at my babies and went back to the abhorrent feeling.

[4th and Long]

I'm not going to touch the implications of day after pills, etc., but I will give you a little known piece of medical advice to help you "even the odds" of having a boy.

As most of you know, the man ultimately decides the sex of the child. What is lesser know is the pH content (pH is a measure of the acidity or basicity (alkalinity) of a material when dissolved in water. It is expressed on a scale from 0 to 14.) of the woman's ... ummm ... baby maker ... also plays an initial factor.

Statistically speaking, when using no protection, gels of any kind, etc., your odds on the sex of the child are roughly 55% female/45% male. Balancing the woman's pH can change this.

Having the woman use a vinegar douche 30 minutes prior to sexual activity can change her pH and it can change the boy/girl odds to roughly 50/50.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

[Katipan]

I don't think you're excessively sick for wanting a boy. :D After I had my girl, I prayed for a boy. But our society can't go the way of picking and choosing the infants. We are far too selfish and self absorbed in our desire to be God Like.

I'm pro choice, but to abort because of sex ranks up there with child molestation and torture.

[Mile High Mania]

I tend to think that once you start jacking with mother nature, you never know what will happen. Sure, you could avoid having a girl going this route, but at some point various odds could catch up to you... you could have a boy, but will he be completely healthy?

You know what I mean? If your wife is over 35, then there's a whole other mess of things to be concerned about... the least of which being the gender of the baby.

Regarding your scenario, I think if you really wanted a boy - buy books that claim to tell you the best ways to "conceive a boy" and take your chances. I had a friend and his wife that have 2 boys and they really wanted a girl - so they bought this book and talked to other friends that successfully conceived a girl using that method. Well, it worked and they're having a girl.

[kregger]

Consider adoption

[cdcox]

Then I looked at my babies and went back to the abhorrent feeling.


Trust your feelings. Nature (or God if you prefer) put them there for a reason.

[wutamess]

Dude! OMG!!!

Is your wife okay with this?
Word of advice, don't do someting today that she'll or you'll regret later.

I say have the young'n no matter what and hopefully it'll turn out to be a boy.

I know this is a what if situation, but what if you did the morning after thing and a couple of years down the line (god forbid) you lost your twins?

Get the point?

[phisherman]

oh roger, you're just saying that cuz you had your boy!
bp

[wutamess]

:thumb:

[Lipschitz]

Take what you get.

Aborting, however it happens, is wrong IMO.

[wutamess]

Take what you get.

Aborting, however it happens, is wrong IMO.

Oh God...

See what you just started?
What's the over/under this gets taken to DC?

A man can't have a personal question to ask without someone throwing out their opinion to fucc things up.

[Fairplay]

I have a touchy subject.

[wutamess]

I have a touchy subject.
:spock:

[jspchief]

I don't have a problem with abortion per se, but this seems a bit extreme.

There are procedures out there now that can make sure you have a child of the gender of your choice, that don't involve morning after pills or any other negative action towards a fetus. They are expensive, but I think I would prefer the financial toll over the potential emotional toll of your idea.

I suggest some time spent on a google search for "gender selection".

[Raiderhater]

Uhm, yeah, bad idea.

[Raiderhater]

I have a touchy subject.


TMI

[jspchief]

Take a look at this: http://www.fertility-docs.com/fertility_gender.phtml

A procedure that has been 100% effective in over 500 cases. The cost is only $8800.

Sounds a lot more appealing than what you are thinking about.

[Mr. Kotter]

JMHO, but to even raise this as a question.....points to gulf between your way of thinking, and that of most people I know. You are entitled, but I can't even fathom this being discussed in a serious way. :shake:

[Mr. Kotter]

Consider adoption

Exactly.

[teedubya]

This will fook with Karma... you will get your boy, but he would probably end up with some wierd disease or deformity... that is how karma works. Abort for gender, and you will get something much worse down the road.

JMO.

[morphius]

This will fook with Karma... you will get your boy, but he would probably end up with some wierd disease or deformity... that is how karma works. Abort for gender, and you will get something much worse down the road.

JMO.
And you never know, he could get his boy and he grows up to like other boys.

nttawwt.

[jynni]

I'd also say adoption would be a good route if you really really want to control the gender of your child.

[jspchief]

I'd also say adoption would be a good route if you really really want to control the gender of your child.Why spend $20,000 on adoption when he can get the procedure I linked done for $8800?

Besides cost, you're getting a child that is your own blood and that you know won't have fetal alcohol syndrome or some other undesirable trait from an unkown parent.

I'm not sure the people throwing out the adoption option understand what kind of process that really is.

[stevieray]

don't underestimate the reprucussions on your wife.

[luv]

My first thought while reading this was pure horror.

1. How many babies will you kill in order to get what you want? What's your limit? How many can your conscience handle?
2. Abortions (whether natural or forced) can be very hard on a woman's body.
3. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Why mess with destiny? That baby girl you abort could have been the one who comes up with a cure for cancer.
4. 95% accuracy still leaves room for 5% error. What if you abort a boy and don't even realize it?

[jaglow]

I have personal experience with a situation very similar. My parents decided to abort my mother's 3rd pregnancy at the age of 21 because they only wanted two children. Four months later my Mom became pregnant with my younger sister. My mom couldn't deal with another abortion so they decided to keep her. My younger sister has severe epilepsy and has had to undergo two brain surgeries. My sister is now 25 years old and still suffers daily with seizures. My mother struggles daily with the thought that if she had not aborted the 3rd pregnancy my lil' sis would have never been conceived. We all love my little sister dearly, but she has suffered third degree burns, lots of stitches from falling during a seizure and suffers a lot from the meds she takes.

[Tinlar]

To be clear,
This isn't something I've really considered. I was doing research on gender selection and I didn't find this but when at the baby doctor in the waiting room I saw a magazine that had an write up on what I thought would be gender selection and it turned out to be this subject so I picked it up and read it.

Keep in mind, all you folks that are calling this abortion that birth control pills do not prevent the egg from being fertilized. They prevent it from attaching correctly inside the female and thus being destroyed. At about the same point in the process of development and in the exact same way that a morning after pill destroys the egg. The only difference is that this way you know it is happening and you get to make a choice about it.

[Brock]

That's messed up.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Dude! OMG!!!

Is your wife okay with this?
Word of advice, don't do someting today that she'll or you'll regret later.

I say have the young'n no matter what and hopefully it'll turn out to be a boy.

I know this is a what if situation, but what if you did the morning after thing and a couple of years down the line (god forbid) you lost your twins?

Get the point?


This is that god fearing Christian bullsh*t that makes me sick to my stomach. Look out, God's gonna gitcha!!! Seriously. Love God, don't fear him. He understands your imperfections.

[Raiderhater]

This is that god fearing Christian bullsh*t that makes me sick to my stomach. Look out, God's gonna gitcha!!! Seriously. Love God, don't fear him. He understands your imperfections.


With the exception of "OMG" and "(god forbid)", where did he say anything that comes across as remotely religious?

[JohnnyV13]

Ummmm,

If you really want a boy, you should consider in vitro fertilization. Sperm that carry a Y chromosome have a different density than sperm that carry an X chromosome. A lab can take your sperm, centrifuge it, and separate the sperm fractions; then fertilize one of your wife's eggs with male sperm.

I'm sure it would be more expensive, but you obviously have some discomfort with the method you contemplate. Furthermore, you would be totally assured that you and your wife wouldn't have any lingering guilt years later.

[Tinlar]

This is that god fearing Christian bullsh*t that makes me sick to my stomach. Look out, God's gonna gitcha!!! Seriously. Love God, don't fear him. He understands your imperfections.
Sounds like someone spent a little too much time in the confessional with father Johnson when he was a kid. He didn't even make a serious religious reference.

[Katipan]

To be clear,
This isn't something I've really considered. I was doing research on gender selection and I didn't find this but when at the baby doctor in the waiting room I saw a magazine that had an write up on what I thought would be gender selection and it turned out to be this subject so I picked it up and read it.

Keep in mind, all you folks that are calling this abortion that birth control pills do not prevent the egg from being fertilized. They prevent it from attaching correctly inside the female and thus being destroyed. At about the same point in the process of development and in the exact same way that a morning after pill destroys the egg. The only difference is that this way you know it is happening and you get to make a choice about it.

In works in one of 3 ways hon.

One of which is to irritate the lining to expell the fertized egg. Thats what an abortion is.

Call a horse a horse.

[luv]

Keep in mind, all you folks that are calling this abortion that birth control pills do not prevent the egg from being fertilized. They prevent it from attaching correctly inside the female and thus being destroyed. At about the same point in the process of development and in the exact same way that a morning after pill destroys the egg. The only difference is that this way you know it is happening and you get to make a choice about it.
How in the world can you some pregnancy test tell you if a boy or a girl if the sperm hasn't attached to the egg? And if you have to wit 3-4 days after conception to do the test, then guess what. You have conception. After conception, if you choose to "destroy a bunch of cells", you are aborting. I consider life to begin at the point of conception. Anything done after conception is destroying life.

[KChiefsQT]

Hmmm... my dad wanted a boy too. After they had my sister... they wanted to try once more FOR A BOY. Well... surprise, surprise... I popped out. I wouldn't make the decision soley on your gender preferences. You can have a girl like me that LOVES FOOTBALL, SPORTS... and dressed like a tomboy the first 12 years of her life.

[4th and Long]

Hmmm... my dad wanted a boy too. After they had my sister... they wanted to try once more FOR A BOY. Well... surprise, surprise... I popped out. I wouldn't make the decision soley on your gender preferences. You can have a girl like me that LOVES FOOTBALL, SPORTS... and dressed like a tomboy the first 12 years of her life.
We're all glad you don't dress like that anymore.

[Tinlar]

I'm loving being a parent of my girls. They are the greatest gifts I've ever gotten. At the same time I'm wanting to fulfill the parts of being a dad that can only happen between a father and a son. Just like there are things that will only happen between a father and a daughter.

I don't think it makes me a bad person to really want a son.

[luv]

I don't think it makes me a bad person to really want a son.
I don't think anyone thinks you're a bad person for wanting a son.

It just a matter of how you are thinking as to how to try to insure that you will get one.

I agree with qt. Only I think of it kind of in reverse. What if you have your boy, but he ends up being gay? There are a lot of what if's though. The choice is ultimately up to you and your wife. All we can offer are opinions and suggestions.

[Demonpenz]

Seems alittle selfish to me. Just because you are not getting what you want you are going flush it?

[Tinlar]

Again, I'm not really considering this method and found it a little ... Disgusting ... myself. I just wanted to bounce it off the community. I'm obviously not as disturbed by the idea as a lot of folks... but it is disturbing enough to keep me from doing it.

[wutamess]

This is that god fearing Christian bullsh*t that makes me sick to my stomach. Look out, God's gonna gitcha!!! Seriously. Love God, don't fear him. He understands your imperfections.

Your arguement would hold more substance if I were a Christian or even a little religous for that matter. I don't givachit what decision he makes, I just want him to think about them in detail before he makes them.

I just realized something...
You just created a arguement/debate when there wasn't one. :hmmm:
You must be religous.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Your arguement would hold more substance if I were a Christian or even a little religous for that matter. I don't givachit what decision he makes, I just want him to think about them in detail before he makes them.

I just realized something...
You just created a arguement/debate when there wasn't one. :hmmm:
You must be religous.


Yeah I am, it just appeared to me that your statement was one of the common phrases I hear from that sector that screams "GOD WILL PUNISH THE UNRIGHTEOUS". Sorry if I lumped you into a group I'm not so fond of.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I know this is a what if situation, but what if you did the morning after thing and a couple of years down the line (god forbid) you lost your twins?

Get the point?


This is the part that sounded like the Christian omen to me. If I read a little too much into it, sorry. :)

[Rausch]

Again, I'm not really considering this method and found it a little ... Disgusting ... myself. I just wanted to bounce it off the community. I'm obviously not as disturbed by the idea as a lot of folks... but it is disturbing enough to keep me from doing it.

There's no way in hell they've got a test to determine sex in the first week of pregnancy. :rolleyes:

[tk13]

There's no way in hell they've got a test to determine sex in the first week of pregnancy. :rolleyes:
Sure there is. They put a microscopic designer shoe store inside the woman's uterus. If the embryo gravitates toward it, it's a female. Works like a charm.

[luv]

Sure there is. They put a microscopic designer shoe store inside the woman's uterus. If the embryo gravitates toward it, it's a female. Works like a charm.
:shake:

[Otter]

As a single man (with a full head of hair and no beer gut :D ) all I can do is wish you the best of luck.

Salute'

[Extra Point]

That's messed up.

Yup. Even if it's coming from an Avatar of a dog with somebody's hand up his arse!

[tiptap]

We should get the facts straight. First off the ratio of boys to girl births in the general population is 106 boys to 100 girls. (Y sperm is faster) So the ideal that there are more girls born is wrong. And while acidity does affect sperm it doesn't change the ratio as indicated in ealier statements. The japanese have perfected a chromatography seperation process that isolates the girl sperm from the boy sperm. So you can come close to choosing the sex of your child.
NARRATOR: Of the 23 chromosomes carried by the sperm, only one determines gender. Sperm carrying an X chromosome will produce a girl. Sperm carrying a Y chromosome will produce a boy. For $3200, sophisticated machines can detect the minute differences in size between male and female sperm and sort them.
JOSEPH SCHULMAN: The chance of having a girl, when that is sought, exceeds ninety percent. And the chance of having a son exceeds seventy percent.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/transcripts/2811baby.html

[Ebolapox]

There's no way in hell they've got a test to determine sex in the first week of pregnancy. :rolleyes:

yeah, at the risk of being an asshole (yeah, I don't care), I call BS

-EB-

[chiefs4me]

I've been around here for a few years and while I don't post as often as many I'm not totally unknown. Because of the many of you will already know that I'm to father of 7 month old twin girls. I love them very very much and they have my heart tied in knots right now.

Me and my wife plan on attempting a third child with the hopes of a boy. To be clear this has nothing to do with how much I love my girls are that I think they are less precious or beautiful than a boy.

While doing some reading I've found that there is a new pregnancy test on the market (I believe or if not it will be shortly) that works off of chemical signatures in the womans body and can not only detect pregnancy with the same accuracy as a clinic but has a 95% accuracy in predicting the childs gender. The controversy about this new test it that it gives the readings as fast as 3 to 4 days after inception. During that time period "Day after" pills are still effective... you see where I'm going with this by now I'm sure. This isn't something I even want to consider but I'd like to bounce it off the community to get feedback on what you guys think of that.

My first thought was that it was slightly abhorrent then some of my logic circuits kicked in and I started thinking. Three or four days? That is hardly a baby by any means of measure... just a bump of very few cells. A soup that will become a baby. This is kind of a way of looking to see what is going into the soup before cooking it. Then I looked at my babies and went back to the abhorrent feeling.




Unless you adopt, you don't get to pick the sex, I have 3 sons, don't you think I wanted a girl? As for my reply to you, about the new gadget... since it's not a nice reply I'll just keep it to myself.:rolleyes:

[onescrewleftuntwisted]

do it standing upside down

[Logical]

I won't base my response on religion or even morality. However, logically unless there is a way to know for certain that inception was within a few days I believe the huge risk of birth defects from using a day after type medical solution would cause me to be unwilling to take the risk.

Good luck with your decision, it will be a tough one I am sure.