New Kid......Old Kid.....

[kczoo]

Serious responses only please, we can joke later. I have three daughters living in California with their mother. My new wife and I are expecting a baby in July, her first. Im very excited, but my oldest in Cali doesnt want anything to do with it, or the birth. Even though her mother had a baby a year ago that she just adores(Cant figure that one out). Im just lost this time of year trying to make everyone happy, trust me you can NEVER do that. I feel guilty being so in love with my wife and this baby, but you just cant turn your back on your kids, but shes so hateful. I get her for the Christmas holiday too. Christ, this is going to be fun. She also says she likes the Raiduz just to piss me off too, Geeezzz

[Cntrygal]

How old are your girls?

[Dartgod]

A bowl of antifreeze should do the trick.

[ck_IN]

Sounds like a rebelious teenager. Also I wonder if the ex has been poisoning the well against you and your new wife.

[mlyonsd]

My advice would be not to let her get to you and be patient.

I'd also treat all of them exactly the same way, never play favorites or do more for one than the other. Hopefully some day she'll get over it.

[Phobia]

Wow. Unless your ex put some thoughts in her head, this is likely the result of some slipup you've made. The only thing you can do is show the eldest that you still care. That doesn't mean to buy her love, it means you need to spend time with her and show her that she still matters to both you and your new wife. Once she gets past the initial apprehension, involve her in the caretaking of the infant.

Always call them SISTERS, not half-sisters.

I've been there. Fortunately my 12 and 13 year old girls adore their little 2.5 year old sister. It has been a slippery slope though. I have to be careful not to dote too much on the toddler when the elder kids are around.

If you think discussing this dilemma with my eldest might help, feel free to drop me a line. I have mine over the holidays as well and she may be able to express some emotion that will help your eldest.

But probably not if your oldest is older than mine. Kids don't respect the opinion of younger kids, generally.

[unlurking]

Spoil the shit out of her when she comes over. Older kids usually dislike new children, because they feel like they're losing attention. Sounds like she's also at that rebellious stage as others have said, that may or may not be due in part to the ex and her attitude toward you.

Yeah, you're not supposed to spoil kids with this kind of attitude, but you only have her for the holiday right? Take her shopping a lot, do whatever SHE wants to do, blow a ton of dough on her, go overboard. Guaranteed, she'll still be rebellious, but within a month of going home, most of that will shift to the ex. She'll start calling you when mom won't "give in" and let her go party or some such.

Hell, if she doesn't have a cell phone already, go to Cricket and buy her one. Their like $30 or $40 a month unlimited minutes and long distance. The ex will probably be pissed, but she will love the hell out of you.

[KC Kings]

Soudns like a difficult situation, but remember that your daughter is a kid. Adults are responsible for their actions and are able to control how they act and what they say. Kids are kids, and don't have that same control.

It is amazing some of the situations I have seen and heard about where the entire thing could have been stopped had the parent simply acted like an adult.