Memo: Planet Christmas Party

[4th and Long]

December 1st TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I'm happy to inform you that The Planet Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing along. Don't be surprised if Phobia shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among Planet Members can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director
----------------------------------------------------------------------
December 2nd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish members. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to all Planet Members who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

4th and Long - Planet Human Resources Director
----------------------------------------------------------------------
December 3rd TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, please disregard the previous memo about the gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the Union members feel that $20 is too much money.

4th and Long - Planet Human Researchers Director
--------------------------------------------------------------------
December 7th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men. Each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

4th and Long - Planet Human Racehorses Director
--------------------------------------------------------------------
December 8th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

People, people, - nothing sinister was intended by wanting Phil to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

4th and Long - Planet Human Ratraces Director
----------------------------------------------------------------------
December 9th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

Vegetarians!!! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not!!! You can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get the salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now. Ha!!!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday!!!
Drive drunk and die!!! Do you hear me!!!?

The Asshole in Charge of the Party
-------------------------------------------------------------------
December 10th TO: ALL PLANET MEMBERS

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing 4th and Long a speedy recovery from his stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to him at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel the Holiday Party and give everyone 1000 points of rep instead.

- htismaqe

[carlos3652]

ROFL

[Extra Point]

A good twist on the office holiday party memos.

Happy Holidays to you all.

Sorry not to have celebrated a sober Ramadan.

[Over-Head]

ROFL

[chiefqueen]

You're behind the times.......I was sent that joke last year. Negative rep to you.

[4th and Long]

You're behind the times.......I was sent that joke last year. Negative rep to you.
I hate to tell you that you're wrog but I'd bet $100 that the joke that was sent to you was not the same as this one. It did not include the words, "PLANET MEMBERS," "Phobia," "Phil," or "4th and Long." Neg rep back atcha for the Grinch-like attitude.

[Over-Head]

I hate to tell you that you're wrog but I'd bet $100 that the joke that was sent to you was not the same as this one. It did not include the words, "PLANET MEMBERS," "Phobia," "Phil," or "4th and Long." Neg rep back atcha for the Grinch-like attitude.


YEAH! What he said! :cuss:

(...pst, 4th buddy, fix the spelling . It's wroNg not wrog, ;) )

[FloridaChief]

I hate to tell you that you're wrog but I'd bet $100 that the joke that was sent to you was not the same as this one. It did not include the words, "PLANET MEMBERS," "Phobia," "Phil," or "4th and Long." Neg rep back atcha for the Grinch-like attitude.

Tranquilo, brother. Don't fly off the handle, OK?...

[4th and Long]

Tranquilo, brother. Don't fly off the handle, OK?...
ROFL Look who suddenly became my voice of reason? ROFL

pssttt ... I didn't really neg rep her. I'm better than that.

[FloridaChief]

ROFL Look who suddenly became my voice of reason?

Uh, huh...May I offer you a Wellbutrin, sir?....

[morphius]

YEAH! What he said! :cuss:

(...pst, 4th buddy, fix the spelling . It's wroNg not wrog, ;) )
Holy hell! OH correcting someone's spelling!?!

The end times are near!

[4th and Long]

Uh, huh...May I offer you a Wellbutrin, sir?....
I can get them at cost. Save your moeny. :D

[4th and Long]

YEAH! What he said! :cuss:

(...pst, 4th buddy, fix the spelling . It's wroNg not wrog, ;) )
Hey! I said wrog and I MEANT wrog! :p

[Bob Dole]

Damn. Bob Dole was really looking forward to the party.

[4th and Long]

Damn. Bob Dole was really looking forward to the party.
December 10th TO: ALL FEMALE PLANET MEMBERS

I'm happy to inform you that The Planet Holiday Party will indeed take place after all, however, the location has been moved to, in Bob Dole's pants. That is all.

Reporting Live From The Sanitarium,

4th and Long

[Bob Dole]

December 10th TO: ALL FEMALE PLANET MEMBERS

I'm happy to inform you that The Planet Holiday Party will indeed take place after all, however, the location has been moved to, in Bob Dole's pants. That is all.

Reporting Live From The Sanitarium,

4th and Long

Excellent. Bob Dole still has a couple of pairs of fat pants, so there's room!

[luv]

I just received this email at work yesterday. That place is for HR directors. There is a "Planet"arium, but it's not exactly the same thing. :)

[Zebedee DuBois]

For those of us who shun public places, please set up a web cam for the party.

[4th and Long]

For those of us who shun public places, please set up a web cam for the party.
After Bob Dole squeezes all the ladies in, I'm not sure he'll have room for a web cam in his pants but, I can ask.

[Chiefs Pantalones]

TO

Phobia is coming?

[go bo]

Uh, huh...May I offer you a Wellbutrin, sir?....wellbutrin rocks...

[chiefs4me]

Uh, huh...May I offer you a Wellbutrin, sir?....









:D

[FloridaChief]

:D

So how are ya anyway, baby?

[chiefs4me]

So how are ya anyway, baby?







I'm always doing great....and I get to see my chiefs tomorrow.....PBJ




life is good.....:p

[007]

What a country!!! :banghead::banghead:ROFLROFL

[FloridaChief]

I'm always doing great....and I get to see my chiefs tomorrow.....PBJ

Hey, me too! They're the CBS late game here. I guess life is sometimes very good...

[listopencil]

WTF? No mention of the Winter Solstice? I'm going to sue.

[chiefs4me]

Hey, me too! They're the CBS late game here. I guess life is sometimes very good...









ROFL......I mean I really get to see them..

[FloridaChief]

ROFL......I mean I really get to see them..

Oh, shit!

That's great--enjoy yourself tomorrow. Wear red so's maybe I'll see ya in the stands on commercial breaks...


:)

[Skip Towne]

ROFL......I mean I really get to see them..
I get to see them on TV. Well, all but the first 15 minutes.

[chiefs4me]

Oh, shit!

That's great--enjoy yourself tomorrow. Wear red so's maybe I'll see ya in the stands on commercial breaks...









:)






I'll be the one screaming........:D

[FloridaChief]

I get to see them on TV. Well, all but the first 15 minutes.

Now, *that's* a point, too. Last week it was almost 30 minutes into the game before they switched over to the Chiefs...