My Financee just asked me to surprise her with a home cooked dinner

[chris]

and she is not asking for something from the Barbie...

What should I cook??

I am not a fancy chef. I can read a cookbook, but no french sauces.

And she doesn't like meat....fish, or soy based artificial meats only

Help!

[Katipan]

um..

SURPRISE!!

[007]

Exactly where is the surprise in this???

[Skip Towne]

Do you have a crock pot?

[Katipan]

You're a whole minute late.

[milkman]

If my wife askes me to cook, she's gettin' McDonalds.

[Megbert]

Try this it'll show how resourceful you are Dishwasher Salmon (http://www.surrealgourmet.com/html/recipes/salmon.html)

And it looks pretty damned easy.

[Hammock Parties]

BIG_DADDY probably has a good suggestion. I know he likes to cook and he likes fish.

[milkman]

You can't make a better burger than McDonald's?

You're barely half a man. Get out of my sight. You disgust me.

I can make a better burger than McDonald's.

But I got a wife, so I don't cook.

That's her job.

[chris]

Exactly where is the surprise in this???

My mistake.

She was talking about how much she loves to cook.

Then she looked at me and stated...when are you going to cook for me??

I felt like a deer on a 4 lane freeway full of semi-trucks.

[chris]

When are you going to install a new toilet?


ROFL ROFL

[Saul Good]

When are you going to install a new toilet?
Exactly

[Pitt Gorilla]

Pasta or something in the crockpot. Those are easy.

[007]

My mistake.

She was talking about how much she loves to cook.

Then she looked at me and stated...when are you going to cook for me??

I felt like a deer on a 4 lane freeway full of semi-trucks.

HA!! Been there done that. How long did it take for you to recover?

[chris]

HA!! Been there done that. How long did it take for you to recover?


Trying to be Cool Hand Luke, I said "No Problem"

THen she said "I want something other than oatmeal"

Dang it, how did she know????

[007]

Make oatmeal cookies. Show her you are at least versitle.

[Katipan]

I'm tellin' ya guys, you gotta have these responses ready.

I can install a ****ing toilet.

[Katipan]

There is truly no end to your talents.

You wanna put the bar on my deck back together for me?

Oh master. Will you lounge in your hammock while I do it? Will you drink beer that I scurry to the kitchen to retrieve for you? Will you leer at me and make obnoxious comments about my body? Will you tell me when I'm doing something wrong and bark at me to do something different? Then when I'm tired and dirty and crying, will you hold me and tell me I did "ok" ?

Please?

[Katipan]

What, you're not gonna roll me a joint?

Lazy bitch.

Stop showing off. When have they never just appeared out of thin air?

[listopencil]

and she is not asking for something from the Barbie...

What should I cook??

I am not a fancy chef. I can read a cookbook, but no french sauces.

And she doesn't like meat....fish, or soy based artificial meats only

Help!


She knows how well you cook. She deserves whatever she gets.

[Logical]

I can install a ****ing toilet.I already have a toilet I can **** on, can you provide a ****ing bidet?

[Logical]

I bet she'll gargle and spit in your ass.ROFL

[Katipan]

I bet she'll gargle and spit in your ass.

I didn't do it for you when you asked.
Is Vlad special?

[Katipan]

ROFL

stop encouraging him, dammit

[Katipan]

He's rich

Did you just call me a whore?

[Rain Man]

For the love of God, man, screw it up! SCREW IT UP!

If you give her an excellent, gourmet meal, she's going to expect it on occasion for the rest of your life. Every day of your married life that she comes home tired, she'll ask you to make her a nice, homemade dinner. Twenty-five years from now, as your silver anniversary approaches, she will ask you to make her a gourmet dinner "like you did when we were dating." Fifty years from now, as you're living in a senior center, she'll at some point ask you through toothless jaws to make her a gourmet dinner "just like the old days."

I kid you not. This could affect the rest of your life! Make her a spam sandwich with potato chips, and smash the potato chips with your fist before serving them. You'll thank me for the next fifty years.

[Logical]

Are you going to take orders from a woman, Jim?I assumed the ****ing bidet was conditional, she now owes me.

[Skip Towne]

I'd always do the cooking if the ex didn't feel like it. Five years after the divorce she asked for my spaghetti recipe.

[chris]

For the love of God, man, screw it up! SCREW IT UP!

If you give her an excellent, gourmet meal, she's going to expect it on occasion for the rest of your life. Every day of your married life that she comes home tired, she'll ask you to make her a nice, homemade dinner. Twenty-five years from now, as your silver anniversary approaches, she will ask you to make her a gourmet dinner "like you did when we were dating." Fifty years from now, as you're living in a senior center, she'll at some point ask you through toothless jaws to make her a gourmet dinner "just like the old days."

I kid you not. This could affect the rest of your life! Make her a spam sandwich with potato chips, and smash the potato chips with your fist before serving them. You'll thank me for the next fifty years.


ROFL

I just spit my drink onto the keyboard!

[cdcox]

I made some mushroom risotto tonight that was pretty awespme. Pretty simple to make if you can follow instructions. Course it had turkey stock in it. I don't think I could commit long term to a woman who whouldn't eat meat.

[Katipan]

I assumed the ****ing bidet was conditional, she now owes me.

Did I just get sold into slavery?

[Logical]

Did I just get sold into slavery?I thought you were volunteering.

[listopencil]

Did I just get sold into slavery?


At least you can't be fired. You've got that going for you.

[Katipan]

I thought you were volunteering.

Yah thats what they said to the Africans.

[Logical]

Yah thats what they said to the Africans.The good news is I don't own any cotton plants.

[KC Jones]

Make hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. You hopefully won't be asked to cook again. Be sure to put a parsley garnish on the plate though - you don't want her thinking you're some kind of visigoth.

[KC Jones]

The good news is I don't own any cotton plants.

how about a nike factory?

[milkman]

The good news is I don't own any cotton plants.

What about cotton swabs?

[Logical]

how about a nike factory?I think you have me confused with Tigger.

[KC Jones]

I think you have me confused with Tigger.


what, you don't like fried chicken either?

[Logical]

what, you don't like fried chicken either?:clap:

[CoMoChief]

Order Chinese and throw the boxes and shit it came in away, then throw all of that in kitchen ware like you actually had done something.