Three Tiers: By Phil Kloster

[Hammock Parties]

http://chiefs.scout.com/2/486376.html

By Phil Kloster
Warpaint Illustrated Columnist
Date: Jan 7, 2006

Sooner or later we all knew he’d come out from behind the message boards. In his first article for Warpaint Illustrated.com, love him or hate him, we present with one hand over our eyes the great Phil Kloster in his debut column. It’s fresh, brash, funny and wait to you read what he has to say about our old coach Dick Vermeil.

Introduction:

My name is Phil Kloster but some of my limited readership may know me as “Phobia”. The nickname has been with me since the second grade. Some of you might not understand so I’ll explain further – Claustrophobia is a fear of closed spaces.

The pronunciation of my last name closely resembles that of this aforementioned phobia, or at least it did to the second grade playground bully who thought he was insulting me at the time. I’m pretty sure I didn’t cry but I may have kissed his girlfriend behind the slide for payback. That’s the way we rolled in the Iowa ‘hood.

Some of you already know me through years of discussion and others simply don’t care to. Please skip to the Press Box portion of this story if you've already heard enough about me.

Beginning with the Kansas City Star’s original discussion board, I’ve been a part of the small Chiefs online community for nearly a decade. In 2000 a large group broke from that site to form ChiefsPlanet.com. I managed ChiefsPlanet for 5 years. I’ve also spent time at nearly every other Chiefs related site around the internet including WildBillsChiefs.com, ChiefsCoalition.com, ChiefsHuddle.com, Chiefswarroom.net, and most recently WarpaintIllustrated.com.

I’ve “met” thousands of Chiefs fans online. I lost count of the in-person meetings of online friends at 300.

One of the associations of which I’m most proud is The 37 Forever Foundation. 37 Forever is a local, Chiefs related charity that raises money to send underprivileged and at risk youth through water safety and swim training. The “37” portion of the Foundation name was the jersey number of Chiefs running back Joe Delaney, who lost his life trying to save three young boys in a tragic event in 1983. Joe Delaney jumped into the water despite the fact he could not swim. Please visit www.37forever.org for more information.

In early December of 2005, I left all my friends at ChiefsPlanet to manage the forums at Warpaint Illustrated and to write a column from a fan's perspective - among other things - for which I’ll now have the resources due to the backing of Scout.com and FoxSports. I’m nobody special. I’m a Chiefs fan with an online hobby and a passion for the Chiefs. I’m not a professional journalist as you’ve surely deduced thus far. But I hope you’ll find my writing interesting because I’m looking at the team from your vantage point combined with special access.

Press Box:

The final home game of the season lent me the opportunity to view the Chiefs and their opponent, the Cincinnati Bengals, from the press box at Arrowhead Stadium. The Chiefs were fighting for their playoff lives in hopes the Detroit Lions would do them a favor. As we all now know, the Lions roared for a half and then fell to the sixth-seeded AFC wildcard Pittsburgh Steelers.

I left the parking lot with anticipation early Sunday morning, earlier than I had ever entered Arrowhead to attend a game before. I tailgated with a bevy of friends that morning, just like every other pre-game ritual for games past, except I (gasp) drank no beer. I rode the elevator to the press box level after going through the pat-down lines. I requested a pat-down from a female. Instead, a large black male security guard who failed to see the humor in my request wrestled me into a submissive hold, ensuring I wasn’t carrying any unauthorized contraband. After he confiscated my cell-phone flask, I finally arrived at the press box.

The press box is a large, windowed room with three tiers. The important, highly paid journalists sit in the first tier. The print beatniks get the second tier. With my apologies to Jonathan Rand, the internet geeks and names you’ve never heard sit in the upper row. The box has a 200 person capacity. On this day, there are over 150 journalists in attendance. I was blown away by the sheer numbers. If you’re actually reading my column, you probably follow the Chiefs as closely as I do. I never fathomed it takes 150 people to keep the citizens of Kansas City abreast of developments at One Arrowhead Drive.

The press box stretches between the 35-yard lines and is entirely covered by sparkling clear glass windows. It is akin to watching a football game on a 100-foot wide HDTV. In other words, the view is enviable. Every Chiefs fan should enjoy this opportunity at least once in their lives.

The press corps conducts themselves professionally during the game. That means we aren’t contributing to the noise at Arrowhead, but it's for the best. Most of the journalists are scribbling notes, whispering into a recorder or speaking into a radio microphone. Some of them are on laptops, utilizing the wireless internet setup in the press box to monitor the score of the Lions game. I am the only idiot sharing my experience via text posting with my friends on the internet.

From the third tier of the box it is impossible to see the jumbotron. We are at the mercy of the CBS feed that is being shown on 19-inch monitors scattered throughout the pressbox.

At halftime, Chiefs sponsor Sheridan's Custard provided custard to the press. After Star columnist Jason Whitlock held up the line for nearly the entire half, I took what few crumbs remained back to my seat and enjoyed the Chiefs trouncing of the Bengals. I surely wish that same team had traveled to Ralph Wilson Stadium to play the Buffalo Bills in early November.

At the game's conclusion we were all given packets of the final stats and whisked below to the depths of Arrowhead, to participate in Dick Vermeil’s final post-game press conference. I was amazed to see the 60-by-30 foot room bursting at the seams with 13 television cameras, countless still cameras and dozens of sweaty scribes. A post-game press conference is no picnic, especially one billed as "Dick’s Last Sob." It didn’t take long for Vermeil to start sniffling. What you don’t hear during the televised portions of a Dick Vermeil press conference is the hundreds of shutters opening and closing trying to capture the perfect snapshot of Vermeil in mid-cry. When he’s smiling or simply speaking those same shutters are silent. These observations aren't an exaggeration, unlike the burly security guard pat-down depicted earlier.

Dick Vermeil’s Legacy:

As you can tell by now, I intend to keep my coverage of the Chiefs rather fun. I bring levity to my life daily. Laughter is a key ingredient to my sanity and that of my family. I think most people covering the Chiefs take themselves and the team far too seriously. I planned to inject some of my personality into my writing by offering a different twist. The final portion of my article will not be like that. I am reporting on an impression that I had and a lesson 5 years in the making. I hope that you’ll learn it more quickly than I.

For most of Dick Vermeil’s tenure, I considered his press conferences to be lip service. I developed a healthy dislike for his seemingly scripted answers and endless excuses for his players and staff. During Trent Green’s first season, I coined the spelling “TrINT”. I was an embittered fan. Rufus Dawes might have suggested I had been afflicted with listening to sports talk radio disease. Bob Gretz would have labeled me “classless and deranged”.

Despite the predictable tears ten seconds into the press conference, I felt a genuine passion in Vermeil's words. There was a lot of emotion in that room and it wasn’t flowing unidirectional from the podium. It was pouring from the Hunt family sitting in reserved seating on the second row, from Carl Peterson standing near the doors and from various Vermeil family members scattered around the room. Even Mrs. Peterson wiped at a tear during one portion of the presentation. There is a lot of love for Dick Vermeil within the Kansas City organization, and I even felt some of my own.

Towards the latter portion of the conference, Vermeil was asked about some of his fondest memories over the past five years in Kansas City. For five years the man has preached his relationship mantra in the media and to anyone who would listen. You can’t listen to Dick Vermeil speak passionately without some mention of the word “relationship”. His relationships built and further cultivated in Kansas City were his high point, he explained.

Most people would presume the high point of his tenure would have perhaps been a record-breaking performance by Dante Hall, a specific victory, winning streak, or records broken by a special running back. Not Dick Vermeil. He said that nothing can take his relationships away, no matter how well or poorly the Chiefs perform on the field. Until today I had largely ignored those words. Finally, they’ve struck a chord within me.

Therefore, in my mind, Dick Vermeil’s legacy in Kansas City isn’t his 13-3 season and playoff flop. It’s not the Super Bowl expectations and super playoff failure. It’s not even his NFL record busting offenses (or defenses) over the years. Dick Vermeil’s legacy in Kansas City – Dick Vermeil’s legacy in the entire NFL - is his relationship-building.

In the end, whether you loved him or hated him, you should take a lesson from the man. He’s built an entire career – and a legacy – upon relationships and family. You may not have his checkbook or Porsche, but you can emulate the effort he places in maintaining his relationships just the same. That’s my plan.

[Nzoner]

http://chiefs.scout.com/2/486376.html

By Phil Kloster

Instead, a large black male security guard who failed to see the humor in my request wrestled me into a submissive hold, ensuring I wasn’t carrying any unauthorized contraband. After he confiscated my cell-phone flask, I finally arrived at the press box.



So you're the sumbitch...

[Phobia]

sumbitch what?

[Katipan]

I like how you write, babe.

[ChiefsOne]

Great article from Phil.

[Miles]

sumbitch what?

Cell-phone flask isnt the most common thing. They may be but I wasnt aware of it (which is definitly likely)

[Bugeater]

I laughed. I cried. I moved on.

[Logical]

Very impressed by the article, humorous, entertaining, and all Phil. I really think he will probably have a hard time with the true base of the WPI, they seem to have no soul and really hate to go outside hardcore football devotion. I wish he had found a way to do this on this website.

Well duh, I guess he has, thanks Phil and uh gochiefs.;)

[PriestMVP31]

nice article. how the crap did you go from Internet junkie to getting to sit in Arrowhead's press box?

[Hammock Parties]

nice article. how the crap did you go from Internet junkie to getting to sit in Arrowhead's press box?

Jason Whitlock smuggled him in and pooped him out in the restroom.

[Frankie]

What's this? No "Genious," "Looser," "To much" or anything like that? You'd think the man was never at the Planet. I am certainly disappointed.

[Phobia]

Cell-phone flask isnt the most common thing. They may be but I wasnt aware of it (which is definitly likely)

That portion is a fabrication. I did, in fact, ask to be patted down by in the ladies line but I didn't actually have a flask.

[HemiEd]

Wow, sounds like a good plan and it should serve you well. Nicely written Phil!

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Good stuff Phil. I'll look forward to more of the same next year. Congrats. :toast:

[Miles]

Quality article Phil. Flowed very well and quite impressive for your first written article for the site (As far as i know).

[Hammock Parties]

I did, in fact, ask to be patted down by in the ladies

What?

[Phobia]

Well duh, I guess he has, thanks Phil and uh gochiefs.;)

Thanks for the comments, Jim.

Big ups to gochiefs. My original draft contained numerous misspellings and grammatical errors. It was a Nicksaster. His professionalism and skill quickly whipped my drivel into something of beauty. A readable column. I take back most of what I said about the little douchebag.

[Phobia]

What?

Due to the new NFL Stadium pat-down policy, there's a male line for patdowns by a man and a female line. Naturally, I'd have preferred to be touched by a lady.

[Hammock Parties]

Mods can we change Phil's username to "GoChiefs' bitch."

[Hammock Parties]

Due to the new NFL Stadium pat-down policy, there's a male line for patdowns by a man and a female line. Naturally, I'd have preferred to be touched by a lady.

Yeah, but what does "by in the ladies" mean? I can't edit everything you write. :D

[Nzoner]

That portion is a fabrication.

Well hell,I thought I'd found my lost one.

[Frankie]

Mods can we change Phil's username to "GoChiefs' bitch."
ROFL

[Rausch]

A very nice way to burst his press-cherry.

Well done.

(You can tell Phil has been full of $#it for quite some time now..."Our baby's all growed up.")

[J Diddy]

That portion is a fabrication. I did, in fact, ask to be patted down by in the ladies line but I didn't actually have a flask.

frigging liar

That was the best part of the article

[Phobia]

Quality article Phil. Flowed very well and quite impressive for your first written article for the site (As far as i know).

Thanks man. It is my first effort. I should probably quit now, huh?

Sources close to the situation indicate Phil is retiring.

[milkman]

Wait!

Phil, you wrote an article at WPI, and had someone edit it?

That's a foriegn concept to them, isn't it?

[Phobia]

frigging liar

That was the best part of the article

I'm a total moron. But I'm not actually dumb enough to carry a flask into the press box my first damn game. I'm waiting until pre-season next year.

[btlook1]

Very well written, Kudo's to Phobia!

[Nzoner]

I'm a total moron. But I'm not actually dumb enough to carry a flask into the press box my first damn game. I'm waiting until pre-season next year.

Great,I can't wait for So This Officer Takes My Flask Today Part Deux

[J Diddy]

I'm a total moron. But I'm not actually dumb enough to carry a flask into the press box my first damn game. I'm waiting until pre-season next year.

Riiiiight.


Rufus Dawes was right all along about the credibility of all these journalists.


Damn me and my stupidity.

Forgive me Rufus for I have sinned.

[Phobia]

Can we have this thread stickied and duplicated throughout each forum, please? Thanks.

[tk13]

My sources indicate Phob will be signed by the Detroit Free Press on Monday.

[Hammock Parties]

Wait!

Phil, you wrote an article at WPI, and had someone edit it?

That's a foriegn concept to them, isn't it?

Like Gunther, we are trying to change a culture.

[Logical]

Mods can we change Phil's username to "GoChiefs' bitch."The great thing about this is I know damn well if Phil still had access to his adminstrator panel he would do it himself. Course gochiefs would also have a new and very creative username.

[J Diddy]

My sources indicate Phob will be signed by the Detroit Free Press on Monday.

Nope Carl is in negotiations with wpi as we speak. Wpi has no leverage because Carl is a shifty tough little son of a bitch negotiator (undoubtedly because of the lack of quality of this article and his impending termination) so he will wind up trading Willy the janitor for Phil.

[Phobia]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.

[Rausch]

The great thing about this is I know damn well if Phil still had access to his adminstrator panel he would do it himself. Course gochiefs would also have a new and very creative username.

Pimp4Sis....

[Rausch]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well.

You snore...

[milkman]

Like Gunther, we are trying to change a culture.

Oh, ok, so their writing is still going to suck.

[J Diddy]

You snore...


Suddenly this vision of Steve Martin and John Candy pops in my head


"Those aren't pillows"

[Hammock Parties]

The great thing about this is I know damn well if Phil still had access to his adminstrator panel he would do it himself. Course gochiefs would also have a new and very creative username.

"Phil's Butch."

[Hammock Parties]

Oh, ok, so their writing is still going to suck.

Not after we rip off the sleeves of all the writers and have them grow beards.

[Miles]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.

If your're looking to get it picked apart for things that could be changed, I'm sure that could be done with the planets resources but its overall still a solid article.

[Nzoner]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.

I'm in no shape you give you constructive criticism on your writing but I'll beat you up a little and say I'm damn well ashamed of you for not drinking before going in.Press pass or not,I just can't picture the Phil I know becoming a wine and cheeser.

[Hammock Parties]

I found an error.

[tk13]

Me too. Any Chiefs fan worth his weight in saline would've made the title "Three Tears".

[Rausch]

Suddenly this vision of Steve Martin and John Candy pops in my head


"Those aren't pillows"

Pink will never forgive you for comparing her to John Candy...

[Logical]

Me too. Any Chiefs fan worth his weight in saline would've made the title "Three Tears".Bah...should have been titled "Breaking my Cherry"

[tk13]

Bah...should have been titled "Breaking my Cherry"
I think he meets Deron in next week's column. Gotta save something for later.

[cdcox]

Seriously, a nice piece of work. I felt like I was there in the press box (posting on The Planet live from the Arrowhead press box would just about complete me) and at Vermeil's last press conference. You are living every fan's dream. Thanks for that!

[Hammock Parties]

Me too. Any Chiefs fan worth his weight in saline would've made the title "Three Tears".

I don't see how it fits. You read Three Tears...but where do you get Three Tiers from that?

[Phobia]

Me too. Any Chiefs fan worth his weight in saline would've made the title "Three Tears".

My choice of the title was based on the three parts of the article coupled with the three tiered press box. It wasn't until my editors pointed out the tears part that I made that connection as well.

[tk13]

I don't see how it fits. You read Three Tears...but where do you get Three Tiers from that?
DICK VERMEIL

[Hammock Parties]

DICK VERMEIL

Yes, duh. I know that.

I just don't see how anyone not having read the article could make the connection between "Tears" and "Tiers" if the title was Three Tears.

[tk13]

My choice of the title was based on the three parts of the article coupled with the three tiered press box. It wasn't until my editors pointed out the tears part that I made that connection as well.
I'm not being serious. I just don't know what else to criticize you for yet though.

[Hammock Parties]

I'm not being serious. I just don't know what else to criticize you for yet though.

I found an error.

[Rausch]

I'm not being serious. I just don't know what else to criticize you for yet though.
I
I
I
I
I
V

I’m not a professional journalist as you’ve surely deduced thus far. But I hope you’ll find my writing interesting because I’m looking at the team from your vantage point combined with special access.

[FloridaChief]

Goddamned good article, man. I just wish you could have written it under the auspices of the 'Planet, but I understand the circumstances...

You have every right to be proud.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.


I'm being nice because I'm hoping for a free Nick Athan autograph.

[Pants]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.

Post the unedited version for that.

[patteeu]

Very nice article (as long as it doesn't cost extra to read ;) ). Keep up the good work.

[Phobia]

Quite frankly, I don't want my stuff to be premium. I don't intend to write stuff that epitomizes "premium".

[Katipan]

I think you got cutesy in your writing for the parking lot and press box sections. But not obnoxiously so.

[Ultra Peanut]

I’m pretty sure I didn’t cryBULLSHIT

[Phobia]

I think you got cutesy in your writing for the parking lot and press box sections. But not obnoxiously so.

But you still want me, right?

[Katipan]

But you still want me, right?

More after gochiefs edited your writing than before.

But hell yeah.

[Phobia]

Shit. I never considered this scenario when I posted the draft. Hopefully JennyGump hasn't seen it yet.

[Katipan]

Shit. I never considered this scenario when I posted the draft. Hopefully JennyGump hasn't seen it yet.

She quit when we thought you weren't coming back :(

[Phobia]

Who could blame her?

[Tribal Warfare]

Great article Phil I know you'll tear it up and make WI a respectable publication/website with your input. :thumb:

[Phobia]

Great article Phil I know you'll tear it up and make WI a respectable publication/website with your input. :thumb:

That is seriously high praise. Would you like to be my publicist?

[Tribal Warfare]

That is seriously high praise. Would you like to be my publicist?


Well, I am a PR major. :D

[Hammock Parties]

More after gochiefs edited your writing than before.

But hell yeah.

Sweet. Does this mean I get a blowjob or something?

[Katipan]

Sweet. Does this mean I get a blowjob or something?

He's charging extra, but I'll set it up.

[Phobia]

Sweet. Does this mean I get a blowjob or something?

I think it does. You should bring your own breathmints, though.

[Hammock Parties]

I think it does. You should bring your own breathmints, though.

My cock is minty fresh.

[Miles]

I think it does. You should bring your own breathmints, though.

He is probably trying out the AXE effect now.

[Katipan]

Man, that shit works.

[Hammock Parties]

His professionalism and skill quickly whipped my drivel into something of beauty.

I just have to say thankyou again. I feel good inside.

[wutamess]

Hey Phob...

Great fuccing article.
I've never read an article like that from an actual fans perspective that took us to the daily routine of a tailgater to the press box.

This might actually be one of the most interesting articles I've read in a while (alot of Whitlocks articles intrigue me too). Unlike most articles it's not filled with cliches or copy cat & redundant quotes that everyone uses. Instead, it's mixed with a lot of emotion, devotion, and personal opinon from a fans perspective.

Keep up the good work and I look forward to your future projects.

Seriously, great article.
~ Proud of you.

Oh and if you have to let Gochiefs edit it... Please do. Nothing worse than seeing senseless babble coming from you.

[wutamess]

Phil...

You complete me.

[C-Mac]

Appears I wont have to worry about getting negative rep for posting your articles.
Nice job Phil, I'm impressed.:thumb:

[Skip Towne]

You'd better get KC Nut to edit Gochiefs. "Wait to you read"?

[Hammock Parties]

You'd better get KC Nut to edit Gochiefs. "Wait to you read"?

Heh heh. That was Nick's addition AFTER we finished editing.

[Skip Towne]

Heh heh. That was Nick's addition AFTER we finished editing.
I believe it.

[nychief]

Nice description of the press box. I can't wait for the insightful look at the lavatory.

[Katie]

OMG Phil: Just what I needed this morning was a good cry!!!

[siberian khatru]

Good job, Phil.

Two questions:

1) What was the pre-game spread?

2) Did you go to the lockerroom after the DV presser?

[StcChief]

Good job Phil.
Look forward fan persective and seeing your articles on WPI and likely on CP next year.

I'm truely impressed they let you in and want a fan's writing persective.

[dtebbe]

Where's the PayPal link? :shrug:

ROFL

DT

[BigRedChief]

I'm not being serious. I just don't know what else to criticize you for yet though.

I know but its a first attempt so he gets slack.STFU

[Otter]

My compliments to the author.

After meeting and talking with you a few times I always thought of you as a natural born salesman.

Give 'em hell brother.

[teedubya]

That article is huge, no way Im reading that.

:-p

[Smed1065]

Where's the PayPal link? :shrug:

ROFL

DT

So he can pay us?

[Rain Man]

This article was better than Cats.

[Hammock Parties]

This article was better than Cats.

Miiiiiiiiiiidniiiiiiiiiiiight
Not a sound from the paaaaavemeeeeeent
Has King Carl lost his meeeeeeemory
He is smiling aloooooooone

[unlurking]

OK, first off, loved the article. Very "unique" in perspective and fun to read. As other's have said, it's very enjoyable to read because of "connection" to the common fan. Getting to "see" what the press box and post-game conference are like. Great setup on the atmosphere, makes the reader really feel like he has an attachment to the event and can picture it in his mind.

You did ask for some constructive criticism, so I am offering (and fully expecting to get neg-repped to hell and back after this love-fest! ;) ).

"...fear of closed spaces..."

That should be enclosed spaces. Made me do a quick double take as I was reading it, so I thought I'd point it out.

The second and third sections include several back and forth pieces moving through different tenses. In section two, they are awesome, because they sort of trigger a "dream sequence/flashback" type of scene in the mind of the reader. Very cool. I liked it a lot, but it seemed to have wierd transitions. Just thought I'd point it out, because it put a speed bump in the flow of the article for me. In the final section it just seemed a little awkward (especially in the first paragraph).

I didn't read the article as an editor or grammar nazi. You did ask for constructive criticism though, so I thought I'd simply let you know the two things that "slowed it down" for me while I was reading. I thought it was very well written, and a thoroughly enjoyable read. Many people may think I'm nitpicking, but as I said, I only noticed these because they made me pause.

Thanks for the effort, I enjoyed the read.

[dirk digler]

Awesome article Phil. IMHO that is the best article I have ever read about the Chiefs. It gave us alot of good insight about you and what happens behind the scenes.

[Phobia]

Good job, Phil.

Two questions:

1) What was the pre-game spread?

2) Did you go to the lockerroom after the DV presser?

Thanks for asking. The first, first draft that wasn't really even a draft because I hated it contained a blurb about the spread. I had already eaten a brisket sandwich in the lot, so I didn't partake. It looked to me like cafeteria style breakfast with eggs, bacon, sausage. I wasn't incredibly impressed.

Prior to the lockerroom, I stood in the gaggle of reporters who had cornered Carl. In it, I actually asked a couple of questions - one, if he would "idulge" us with a short list of candidates to which he responded "no". The second question hovered around tampering issues and forced compensation. Carl's answer was a bit confusing but he made a funny comment about the commissioner requesting picks rather than "taking them".

Then I did go into the lockerroom. Most of the guys were dressed and leaving but there were several interviews still going on. I asked Allen a question which I don't recall right now. He's a lot bigger than you think. I saw Scanlon but I was far too intimidated to ask him any questions. I walked up to Waters as the TV crew was wrapping up their interview. After they left, I asked Brian several questions about Solari, his pro-bowl appearance, and his salary for 2005. He was very gracious.

Finally, big Jason Dunn came out of the showers with a towel wrapped around himself. I had met him before so I knew he was huge, but seeing him shirtless was pretty impressive. He looks like he could retire today and roll into a WWE career - very imposing.

[Mr. Laz]

Finally, big Jason Dunn came out of the showers with a towel wrapped around himself. I had met him before so I knew he was huge, but seeing him shirtless was pretty impressive. He looks like he could retire today and roll into a WWE career - very imposing.
did you ask to see his weenie or if you could apply lotion to all his manly flesh?

[Chief Henry]

I really enjoyed the article Phil. That must have been one hell of an experiance to be (Inside)
the bowels of Arrowhead Stadium. Nice job
and oh btw, is Whitlock that fat in person?

[dirk digler]

I saw Scanlon but I was far too intimidated to ask him any questions.


ROFL

[Frankie]

Seriously though, I'm a little overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I'm proud of the piece and I thought it was good. But I also expected to get beat up a little too. I'd appreciate some constructive criticism as well. I hope you guys aren't being nice because you think I'm going to change your username. I don't have admin rights any longer.
THIS PIECE SUCKED!!

There. Now you are not "overwhelmed."... You're welcome.
:p

[Phobia]

OK, first off, loved the article. Very "unique" in perspective and fun to read. As other's have said, it's very enjoyable to read because of "connection" to the common fan. Getting to "see" what the press box and post-game conference are like. Great setup on the atmosphere, makes the reader really feel like he has an attachment to the event and can picture it in his mind.

You did ask for some constructive criticism, so I am offering (and fully expecting to get neg-repped to hell and back after this love-fest! ;) ).

[/]"...fear of closed spaces..."[/i]

That should be enclosed spaces. Made me do a quick double take as I was reading it, so I thought I'd point it out.

The second and third sections include several back and forth pieces moving through different tenses. In section two, they are awesome, because they sort of trigger a "dream sequence/flashback" type of scene in the mind of the reader. Very cool. I liked it a lot, but it seemed to have wierd transitions. Just thought I'd point it out, because it put a speed bump in the flow of the article for me. In the final section it just seemed a little awkward (especially in the first paragraph).

I didn't read the article as an editor or grammar nazi. You did ask for constructive criticism though, so I thought I'd simply let you know the two things that "slowed it down" for me while I was reading. I thought it was very well written, and a thoroughly enjoyable read. Many people may think I'm nitpicking, but as I said, I only noticed these because they made me pause.

Thanks for the effort, I enjoyed the read.

Thanks man. I actually researched the claustrophobia definition so I'd get it right and unfortunately, this (http://www.aippg.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=86113) was one of the first google hits. I was kind of aware of the flow issues between the 2nd and 3rd portions. I wrote most of the final portion on Monday and just didn't spend enough time cleaning it up.

Thanks for the kind words.

[Phobia]

did you ask to see his weenie or if you could apply lotion to all his manly flesh?

I'll ask him to send you an autographed 8x10 of his junk, Laz.

[Phobia]

I really enjoyed the article Phil. That must have been one hell of an experiance to be (Inside)
the bowels of Arrowhead Stadium. Nice job
and oh btw, is Whitlock that fat in person?

Whitlock used to be "that fat" but he's really done a nice job of shedding weight in the past year. I'm guessing he's just under 300 now where he was likely pushing 400 the first time I met him 3-4 years ago.

[Sully]

A few years back I was interning for a radio station (now defunct) and got to go to Arrowhead to cover the draft, and then later sat in the press box for the "practice" they hold open for the public. I can see some of that excitedness to walk in there as a fan, but I think, if coming from a fan's perspective, there should be even a little more of that... if possible (I know there are constraints as to writing too much). When they had mini-camps and we would go cover them, I was always amazed at the guys who had been doing it for years, and acted like they were so put out to be there. It was so exhilarating for me every single time out there, and I resented those guys who acted like it was "work."
Now I realize that it is easy for me to say that, as I only did it for one offseason, but my constructive advice to you would be this: If you are planning on writing as "one of the fans," NEVER lose that feeling of awe and excitement to be giving us a peek n that window. It's fun to do, and it's fun to read about.

But that's just my opinion... and who says that matters.

[Mr. Laz]

I'll ask him to send you an autographed 8x10 of his junk, Laz.
no thanks ...


just the way you were swooning over Dunn ... :shrug:



NTTAWWT :thumb:

[ROYC75]

Wow,Props to Phil, I wasn't aware you had this talent. Well, maybe a little, far less that it took to write this. :clap:

[DTLB58]

Good article Phil. :clap:

Stick to those kinds of things and leave the predictions (I won't mention which one) to Athan.

Again good job. Congrats.

[Frankie]

I'll ask him to send you an autographed 8x10 of his junk, Laz.
Will it fit in an 8x10?

[Phobia]

no thanks ...


just the way you were swooning over Dunn ... :shrug:



NTTAWWT :thumb:

You're right. I was swooning, wasn't I? I really need to get a gig in a supermodel locker-room. This shit isn't cutting it.

[Phobia]

Thanks Sully. That's great advice. I might need kicked a couple times in the future in order to remember, though. I hope you won't hesitate to do so.

[Iowanian]

I want to issue a challenge to phildo.

Prior to each article, I want to give you a word....and challenge you to incorportate it into the next article.

[ExtremeChief]

Nice job Phil. My only criticism is that you didn't ask me to tag along.

[Phobia]

I want to issue a challenge to phildo.

Prior to each article, I want to give you a word....and challenge you to incorportate it into the next article.

I'll play along so long as it's fun for me. When it becomes laborious I'll probably fail the challenge.

[Katipan]

Finally, big Jason Dunn came out of the showers with a towel wrapped around himself. I had met him before so I knew he was huge, but seeing him shirtless was pretty impressive. He looks like he could retire today and roll into a WWE career - very imposing.

Add tidbits like this and your already impressive list of female readership will explode.

[Phobia]

Nice job Phil. My only criticism is that you didn't ask me to tag along.

Can you fit in my pocket?

[Nzoner]

From a sober point of view Phil that was an excellent read,highly entertaining,yet informative as well.Everything a good article should have as far as I'm concerned.

I'm looking forward to your future writings,good luck man.

[Hammock Parties]

I'm looking forward to check out the Chiefs locker room.

[Phobia]

From a sober point of view Phil that was an excellent read,highly entertaining,yet informative as well.Everything a good article should have as far as I'm concerned.

I'm looking forward to your future writings,good luck man.

Thanks, brotha. How was the birthday bash? I wish we could have come out for that, but I'm sure you understand. What do you guys have tonight?

[FatGuy57]

Nice Article Man !!

[Phobia]

Here's a thought - you guys know me. You know my flair for the ridiculous. How do you think somebody who does not know me would view that article? Will they be entertained or put-off? Will some of you run the piece by your unblemished significant others or friends to retrieve their feedback for me please?

[kregger]

Nice work, Phil. Echoing others, please remember your humble beginnings and bring that perspective to all your articles. You're a lucky bastard and I can see why you made the decision to jump ship. Nice of Nick to let you write so early in your *** career. You have a knack for prose that appeals to many.

[Phobia]

Humble beginnings? I RAN ChiefsPlanet, ferchrissakes. I've been the king of the internet long before I started writing.

[pink]

Will it fit in an 8x10?
that's very funny. rep.

[kregger]

I meant before Al Gore invented the internet.

[pink]

You're right. I was swooning, wasn't I? I really need to get a gig in a supermodel locker-room. This shit isn't cutting it.
you HAVE a gig in a super MODEL locker-room. big jerk. maybe your contract needs to be terminated.

[Nzoner]

Thanks, brotha. How was the birthday bash? I wish we could have come out for that, but I'm sure you understand. What do you guys have tonight?

The birthday was great,I got more stuff at 43 than I did as a kid.

As for tonight I'm looking at watching the game at a local establishment with some friends,however,I'll be giving you a head's up on Nzoner's Superbowl bash,in fact we're throwing a surprise 50th birthday party for a buddy of mine the night before so if possible maybe you guys can make plans to come up Saturday for a full weekend.

[pink]

Here's a thought - you guys know me. You know my flair for the ridiculous. How do you think somebody who does not know me would view that article? Will they be entertained or put-off? Will some of you run the piece by your unblemished significant others or friends to retrieve their feedback for me please?
well that's not very fair to them. someone should warn them in case they prefer to remain unblemished from knowing you. i surely wished i had that option.

[Phobia]

The birthday was great,I got more stuff at 43 than I did as a kid.

As for tonight I'm looking at watching the game at a local establishment with some friends,however,I'll be giving you a head's up on Nzoner's Superbowl bash,in fact we're throwing a surprise 50th birthday party for a buddy of mine the night before so if possible maybe you guys can make plans to come up Saturday for a full weekend.

Oh dude. Shit. We'd have loved to come to that but we've accepted an invitation to a SB party. If only it weren't such a long damn drive....

[Nzoner]

Here's a thought - you guys know me. You know my flair for the ridiculous. How do you think somebody who does not know me would view that article? Will they be entertained or put-off? Will some of you run the piece by your unblemished significant others or friends to retrieve their feedback for me please?

FWIW,I used to write for my high school and college papers and we were always taught to get inspiration from your own experiences.Let the reader see the event or whatever through your eyes.As I said I thought you did a good job with that as I was entertained,yet informed.

I'd also like to give you props for the cell phone flask part,fabricated or not I'd like to think that your experience of my story had something to do with that.

Remember,not everyone is going to like your style,it's like any art,some get it some don't,just keep on with what mnakes you happy and you will carve out your own niche.

[Phobia]

Thanks Joe. I appreciate that. The column was about inspiration. I couldn't conjure up any during the week to finish what I started Monday. It was only after the Herm Edwards thing was completed that I felt "it".

Naturally the cell phone flask fabrication was for you. Funniest damn story of all time.

[KChiefs1]

Wow! Nice Read!

So is gochiefs now the editor over at WI?

[Hammock Parties]

Wow! Nice Read!

So is gochiefs now the editor over at WI?

I assist in the editing process.

[Nzoner]

Thanks Joe. I appreciate that. The column was about inspiration. I couldn't conjure up any during the week to finish what I started Monday. It was only after the Herm Edwards thing was completed that I felt "it".

Naturally the cell phone flask fabrication was for you. Funniest damn story of all time.

I'm inspired now,hell I'm considering restarting a novel I've had laying around for some time.

[Phobia]

Gochiefs does some editing, yes. He's also written. He has a Gunther article in the next print Warpaint. The kid can write. He can also edit.

[Hammock Parties]

Gochiefs does some editing, yes. He's also written. He has a Gunther article in the next print Warpaint. The kid can write. He can also edit.

http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/5628/mfemoticonpsychoticbacca9gf.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[Hoover]

Phobia,

I must say that I am impressed with your first article. I hope you continue to bring us fans this side of the story.

While I like the fact that the chiefs have only been without a HC for 1 week, all the Edwards buzz didn't allow for a long hard look back about DV's years with the Chiefs, thank you for doing that.

Hoover

[Calcountry]

I first read it over at WI, and posted a compliment on it.

Style is everything in writing, you have a unique style. Don't ever change that, be yourself.

The first part of it, you could sense the juvenility, or inexperienced giddyness of your first piece(pun not intended for you dirty minded), but the second half of your article was well written and entertaining with an excellent conclusion.

There you go. How is that for constructive criticism. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree so my opinion should count for squat.

Once again, congrats, and I am jealous as hell.