Anyone up for free poker lessons?

[skye22f]

I make a good amount of my money playing cards and doing other assorted gambling online (between $65 and $90 / hr lately, hopefully more pretty soon as I keep moving up the limits), and I'm looking for some people that are interested in learning how to play. It won't cost you any money.

To get started you need a $100 bankroll (what, you think I'm gonna stake you? I'm nice, but not that nice.) and a few hours free a week (the more the better.)

Long story why I'm doing this, I'll explain when I have more time later. The lower limits are easily beatable with some practice (anyone can beat them with some patience and an IQ over 65.) Once you beat those the real fun begins.

Any questions, post them here or PM me.

[luv]

I'll stick with practicing with play money.

[Dartgod]

...I'm looking for some people that are interested in learning how to play. It won't cost you any money.

To get started you need $100

:spock:

[skye22f]

What, you think I give you money to play with? I'm nice, but I'm not that nice.

Lemme rephrase: "You need a $100 bankroll to get started."

It's pretty easy, if you know the right bonuses to hit up, to parlay that into $500 real fast without really needing any skill. You just gotta know where to look, and that's step 1.

[skye22f]

I'll stick with practicing with play money.

I don't get the appeal of play money. Are you ever going to actually try to play for real money?

Why not put in $5 and play .02/.04 cent on pokerstars? I know some guys with 6-figure bankrolls that got their start that way.

[Sully]

Do I get pics of ugly asian sisters w/ yellow teeth with this deal?

[luv]

Do I get pics of ugly asian sisters w/ yellow teeth with this deal?
ROFL

First porn, now poker. This guy sure does have a lot of friends with six figure bankrolls.

Why on earth would you start an inexperienced poker player out with real money? Practice with play money. When you're secure enough with your skills, then try some real money. It's not like it's rocket science.

[skye22f]

ROFL

First porn, now poker. This guy sure does have a lot of friends with six figure bankrolls.


Porn is fun and I still have some cashflow from that but I did pass on the option with the 2 sisters. I really thought the goth one might at least do OK because some guys out there do like fat goth chicks.

Why on earth would you start an inexperienced poker player out with real money? Practice with play money. When you're secure enough with your skills, then try some real money. It's not like it's rocket science.

This is so wrong for a few reasons.

1) You can't get better playing play money. The people playing are so bad and they just don't care. There's nothing at stake, nothing to learn and nothing to worry about. It's just a big waste of time if you want to get good.
2) Even if you have no skills you can still make money playing real money anyways. Here's how I got started, and how I've got my friends started:

Take $100, deposit it into a certain internet casino that offers good bonuses and do their intro bonus. Only play blackjack, $1 or $2 bets and follow the hands chart religiously. This is kinda boring so make sure you're watching TV or do it over a few days an hour at a time. When you are done you'll have between $170 and $220 most of the time. Then do a couple others, you'll have a few hundred in no time. It might seem kinda slow, but you'll be clearing these bonuses at $20-$30 / hr so for most people it's not a bad thing to do. If you aren't into that, just start with $300 or $400 instead.

When you have $200 there are some poker bonuses to start with. I give you a starting hands chart and you play 500 hands or so of 2 cent/4 cent or 10 cent/20 cent just to get the hang of the hand rankings and being able to read the board. Then it's time to start studying, and I tell you a couple books to buy to get started and we talk about some stuff.

At this point the bonuses from the poker rooms are so big that it's difficult to lose the bonus money as fast as you clear the bonuses. Typically they are $100 or more and you clear them at $0.50/$1, the players at that level are so bad that it's pretty tough to lose 100 bets. So as you study and play and gain experience your bankroll grows the winnings and bonuses (more bonuses at first than winnings, at .50/1 if you are playing a few tables at a time and playing really well maybe you'll make $8 / hr in winnings, but the bonuses will clear at $20 / hr.)

And that's really where I come in, helping the student find the better bonuses, helping put together a study plan, a moving up plan and going over hands as well. That's also why play money is stupid, you can't know if you should be confident in your skills without playing real money, using software to compile stats on you and doing a detailed statistical analysis. I've ran bad for 10,000 hands at a time, luck is a big part, this stuff happens.

If anyone doesn't believe me that I do do this and wants to watch me play sometime, send me a PM.

I'm really surprised no one has asked me why I'm doing this yet.

[Iowanian]

Oooh Let me, let me.

Why are you doing this, dali llama?

[skye22f]

Oooh Let me, let me.

Why are you doing this, dali llama?

Because it's fun. That's why.

[BigRedChief]

I make a good amount of my money playing cards and doing other assorted gambling online (between $65 and $90 / hr lately, hopefully more pretty soon as I keep moving up the limits), and I'm looking for some people that are interested in learning how to play. It won't cost you any money.

To get started you need a $100 bankroll (what, you think I'm gonna stake you? I'm nice, but not that nice.) and a few hours free a week (the more the better.)

Long story why I'm doing this, I'll explain when I have more time later. The lower limits are easily beatable with some practice (anyone can beat them with some patience and an IQ over 65.) Once you beat those the real fun begins.

Any questions, post them here or PM me.
Okay smart guy we have some Chief Planet tourneys from time to time on Pokerroom.com with real money. Get in one and lets see if you can back up your talk and we shall see who the teacher is and who is the student.

[BigRedChief]

here's your chance to prove your poker stud worthiness.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=133828

[skye22f]

Okay smart guy we have some Chief Planet tourneys from time to time on Pokerroom.com with real money. Get in one and lets see if you can back up your talk and we shall see who the teacher is and who is the student.

I know you're joking, you really can't be serious.

I'll play though sometime just for fun, 1 tournament really doesn't say much about who's the best player.

And what are you guys playing for? $5?

Just come watch me play sometime, I really don't care. Come sit with me on Party, Pokerroom is not a good place to play- the software sucks and the players are overall better at the limits I play.

Party $3/6 and $5/$10 shorthanded is real soft. $10/$20 is too if you pick the right games to sit in (datamining helps.) Hopefully in 4 or 5 months I'll be at $15/$30 if I run OK and have time to get in a lot of hands.

I'm not the greatest player of all time, but I am pretty good and can certainly help people get up to at least my level of competence (with some work on their side.)

[luv]

I know you're joking, you really can't be serious.

I'll play though sometime just for fun, 1 tournament really doesn't say much about who's the best player.

And what are you guys playing for? $5?

Just come watch me play sometime, I really don't care. Come sit with me on Party, Pokerroom is not a good place to play- the software sucks and the players are overall better at the limits I play.

Party $3/6 and $5/$10 shorthanded is real soft. $10/$20 is too if you pick the right games to sit in (datamining helps.) Hopefully in 4 or 5 months I'll be at $15/$30 if I run OK and have time to get in a lot of hands.

I'm not the greatest player of all time, but I am pretty good and can certainly help people get up to at least my level of competence (with some work on their side.)
He's not trying to trick people into setting up $100 accounts so he can try to take it all from them while "teaching them how to play". You, sir, are an arrogant asshole.

[skye22f]

He's not trying to trick people into setting up $100 accounts so he can try to take it all from them while "teaching them how to play". You, sir, are an arrogant asshole.

Hahhahahahahahahahaha

Hahhahahahahaahahahahah

Rule #1- don't tell me your screen name, and anyone I'm working with doesn't have to play with me (and generally I try not to do that anyways because I just blow money dicking around in the kiddie pool because the limits are low enough to me I just normally screw around and lose money.)
Rule #2- You turn that $100 into $300-$400 at least before you sit at any low limit table and you turn that into $500 or more before you come play at the site I play at.
Rule #3- $100 means absolutely nothing to me, that's really not worth my time to try and rip people off for.

That's really silly to make an accusation like that.

Stick with play money and working on your "skills."

I guess attitudes like this are why the games stay so good all the time, so I shouldn't complain, but geez try to do a nice thing and all the fat 50 year old internet women get cranky and talk about play money (which I still really have no idea why anyone would play. Seriously, put $5 into pokerstars and play .02/.04.)

And again, if you really don't believe me come watch me on Party sometime.

[luv]

I guess attitudes like this are why the games stay so good all the time, so I shouldn't complain, but geez try to do a nice thing and all the fat 50 year old internet women get cranky and talk about play money (which I still really have no idea why anyone would play. Seriously, put $5 into pokerstars and play .02/.04.)

And again, if you really don't believe me come watch me on Party sometime.
1. I may be fat, but I'm not 50.
2. $5? I thought you were just telling someone else that was chump change?
3. I don't play poker to make money. I play for fun. I have a job.

[skye22f]

2. $5? I thought you were just telling someone else that was chump change?

Yeah it is. It is to most people that don't live in Gambia. It's $5.

3. I don't play poker to make money. I play for fun. I have a job.

See that's what I still don't get. How is it fun without money involved? And when there's no effort at all involved in making money at the low limits (not a ton of money for sure, but $20 / hr is better than $0 / hr if you're gonna play anyways and the games are more fun because they actually mean something)... I have no idea why someone would play with fake money.

Without money on the line there are much better games out there. Try chess. Try Jenga. Recently I've kinda got into backgammon, which is fun, but that's also a gambling game.

[luv]

What I don't get is why you would take someone with little to no poker experience and start them out with real money. If they are clueless on how to bet, or when to/not to be aggressive, etc, then they're gonna lose it faster than they deposited it. And how are you gonna help someone if you don't know what name they're playing under? I learned by watching someone else play. Once I started playing, I had them watch me and give me pointers. How exactly are you planning on teaching them how to play if you don't know who they are?

[skye22f]

What I don't get is why you would take someone with little to no poker experience and start them out with real money.

Because there's a lot more to learn in dropping $5 at 2 cent/4 cent than can be learned in 10000 hands of play money. Follow a starting hand chart for some training wheels and learn the hand rankings and play some ultra low limit.

Once you've done that and your roll by now is already $400-$500, you are ready to play some 25 cent/50 cent or 50 cent/1 dollar. Now even if you are a losing player at this level (which you probably will not be if you can follow the starting hand training wheels and aren't retarded you will break even)... but again even if you are a losing player at this level, the bonuses they give you clear a lot faster than you can lose money, so you grow your bankroll as you learn. Typically the bonuses are $100 and take about 800 raked hands to clear, you can't lose money that fast.

This is how I learned, this is how I got started with my mentor. I never played 1 hand of play money (or 2 cent 4 cent, lowest I ever played was 25 cent 50 cent.)

If they are clueless on how to bet, or when to/not to be aggressive, etc, then they're gonna lose it faster than they deposited it.

Again, WRONG. You don't understand the tremendous overlay provided by bonus whoring. I know what I'm talking about here because this is what I've done, this is what lots of my friends have done. You can get literally thousands of dollars in bonus money to grow your roll.

And how are you gonna help someone if you don't know what name they're playing under?

It's called a hand history converter, it removes your screen name and formats the hands so they are easily readable in large amounts and tradable via e-mail (so it's easy to go over sessions.) This is a silly thing to do anyways, I wouldn't recommend doing it but if it makes ya comfortable, good on ya.

I learned by watching someone else play. Once I started playing, I had them watch me and give me pointers.

You can learn a lot more from books, especially at the start, than you can by sweating your friends at the play money tables.

[BigRedChief]

I still say your full of chit. I'm from the the show me state. Prove it or shaddup.

[skye22f]

I still say your full of chit. I'm from the the show me state. Prove it or shaddup.

Am I supposed to care what you think?

And assuming I did, how would I "prove it"?

PokerTracker Screenshots? Graphs? That stuff is relatively personal and even if I posted it you could claim I doctored it.

The offer is still on the table to watch me come play anytime. I don't mind playing in one of your tournaments but that wouldn't prove anything at all. One tournament or ten tournaments proves nothing. Winning at cards is about the long run. I've ran breakeven for 25,000 hands, does that mean I was playing bad or the players I was sitting with were better than me? No, not at all. That happens to everyone that plays hundreds of thousands of hands. There's a lot of luck involved. This is a long run kinda thing, and 2 or 3 $5 sit 'n gos proves absolutely nothing.

And, again, I really don't care what you think anyways. So go ahead and think I'm making it up. If you can't tell that I know what I'm talking about from my posts, then it's clear you don't know what you're talking about.

[skye22f]

I still say your full of chit. I'm from the the show me state. Prove it or shaddup.

So is that it?

I'm still waiting to hear how I should "prove it."

Could we play a tourney for a little higher stakes? Say $50-$100 buyin instead of $5?

Come sit at 3/6 or 5/10 with me on party?

Heads up freezeout for $250?

Hell, heads up freezeout for $2 at the .02/.04 on stars is fun, I'd do one of those.

And I'm not very good heads up anyways!

[BigRedChief]

And, again, I really don't care what you think anyways. So go ahead and think I'm making it up. If you can't tell that I know what I'm talking about from my posts, then it's clear you don't know what you're talking about.

Bottom Line:

Lifes too short to deal with internet braggards.:shake:

[skye22f]

Bottom Line:

Lifes too short to deal with internet braggards.:shake:

Dude you have over 7000 posts on an internet message board and you are telling me life is too short?

You are the guy with 7000 life-wasting posts.

The bottom line is that if you are gonna call me a liar, you gotta back that up. That's a real bitch move to say that and then back down.

Here's my stats from playing this evening and a little bit this morning (probably more than you made all day at work yesterday):
http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/2730/todaysstats6pk.jpg

Here's a pic of my cashier box on party (but this isn't my whole roll as I withdraw biweekly to an ING direct savings account and I have another few K in Neteller and other sites, I only really want to keep about $3k in there at any given time:

http://img79.imageshack.us/img79/2834/cashier5eu.jpg

Here's a pic of my dual-screen setup with 6 games running at the same time:
http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/6958/happyted8aj.jpg

So f*** you, I'm not lying and I was really just trying to pass the time, learn a little from teaching and be helpful.

I'm not claiming I never lose or that I'm some big-time world class guy. I'm pretty good, but luck cuts both ways and everyone has room for improvement.

[luv]

Dude you have over 7000 posts on an internet message board and you are telling me life is too short?
So, how 'bout those Chiefs?

[skye22f]

So, how 'bout those Chiefs?

I accept your apology, and the implied apology of BigRedChief (as he ran away with his tail between his legs rather than admit he's wrong and I'm not a liar.)

Incidentally I sat in a play money game for 5 minutes last weekend. Ya, you really can't learn anything from it.

[Eleazar]

If this thread were on the main lounge it would implode like the lost kitty thread

[luv]

I accept your apology, and the implied apology of BigRedChief (as he ran away with his tail between his legs rather than admit he's wrong and I'm not a liar.)

Incidentally I sat in a play money game for 5 minutes last weekend. Ya, you really can't learn anything from it.
I only apologize when I mean it. You have not received one from me. Try again.

[trndobrd]

You are only making $65-90 an hour doing this? Where is the motivation to start with this nonsense?

[skye22f]

You are only making $65-90 an hour doing this? Where is the motivation to start with this nonsense?

I learn a lot from teaching people, and it's fun. I like it. The average guy that thinks he knows anything about cards seriously knows next to nothing, and it's rewarding watching people get better.

I'm about to move up in limits though, that will probably slow down my earn a little at first as I scale back to 1 or 2 tables at the new limit to deal with the sticker shock so to speak and get a feel for things.