Minimum contact requirements for friendship

[Rain Man]

What does it take for someone to be considered your friend? Does it require regular face-to-face time? Does it require some type of contact on a regular basis (e-mail/Christmas cards/etc.)? How much contact?

[CoMoChief]

Guys dont send other guys christmas cards.

[Skip Towne]

Guys dont send other guys christmas cards.
I'm not sure this applies to Red Bull/Cherryontop. :thailor:

[Rain Man]

I am of the theory that a friend is always a friend. I have a couple of people that I've talked to three times since high school, but I would still list them on my chart of friends. Am I abnormal in that respect?

[Bearcat]

A rigorously defined contract.

[cdcox]

I don't have to have regular contact with someone to consider them my friend. I haven't seen my roomate from college in 10 years. We caught up with each other by email a couple years ago, but haven't corresponded since. If we ended up in the same city, it would take no time what so ever to pick up where we left off. If he called and needed something, I wouldn't think twice about it. I have 3 or 4 friends that are that way.

[Rain Man]

Guys dont send other guys christmas cards.

Heh. I've got a good friend that I've known forever. We went to high school together, college together, worked at the same company, traveled all over the place together, and were even roommates for a while. I now see him maybe once every year or two, and he sent me a birthday card last year. I was like, "What the heck - ?"

[Saulbadguy]

As long as they are on my myspace, it's all good.

[Skip Towne]

I don't even know any of my friends' birthdays. Well, except Boozer... and I only know that cause it's Valentine's Day so it sticks out. Even then, I had to be reminded by my wonderful girlfriend it was his birthday this year.
That's thwell. :thailor:

[Psyko Tek]

had a buddy,
we hadn't seen each other in 15 years

when we finally got back together it was all the same

buds are always buds

[Dunit35]

Once a friend always a friend unless they do something would make them not your friend.

[chiefs4me]

I agree, how about that..:D anyway, it doesn't matter, once a friend always a friend..

[Rain Man]

But if you don't see a friend for a while...say, two years...do you have another category that you move them to? Like "dormant friend" or "recent past friend"? Or do they enjoy the same status as the person that you watch every Chiefs game with and go bowling with and skydive with every weekend.

[Iowanian]

I'm pretty low maintenence as a friend, but loyal to a fault.

If you're a good friend, and I haven't spoken to you in a decade, I'd still get out of bed at 3am to help you out. Last year, I talked to a good friend from HS who I hadn't talked to since, and after 5 minutes, it was like I'd seen him last week.

I've had good friends, who made bad decisions and lost my respect, and I'm still friendly, but its only in brief, casual social situations.

[trndobrd]

But if you don't see a friend for a while...say, two years...do you have another category that you move them to? Like "dormant friend" or "recent past friend"? Or do they enjoy the same status as the person that you watch every Chiefs game with and go bowling with and skydive with every weekend.


This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode on male relationships. Are you talking about "ride to the airport" or "help you move" friends? I have friends that I only hear from every couple years, while I would certain take them out for a drink if they were in town, I probably wouldn't call them up tomorrow to ask for some help on my deck project.

[Dartgod]

I had a friend in high school that I hadn't seen in probably 20 years. I recently tracked him down on the intarweb and sent him an email. He called me back the next day and we talked for over an hour. Just picked right where we left off.

[stevieray]

I've got a buddy here in KC that I've known since kindergarten.

sometimes we talk regularly, sometimes we don't.

ironic, i'm meeting him for a beer tonight.

[Nzoner]

I've got a buddy here in KC that I've known since kindergarten.

sometimes we talk regularly, sometimes we don't.

ironic, i'm meeting him for a beer tonight.

Had a great friend in high school who was a real music buff like myself but as the years got by we lost more and more contact.We haven't done anything together now for the better part of 5 years and tonight we're going to a concert,looking forward to it.

[Phobia]

I have a friend from the USMC who is absolutely hilarious. We were always tight. But I made a decision to leave Boston and he found a girl and started a family. We rarely speak but when he's coming to town, we always spend as much time as possible together. He stood up for us when I married Pink, too. Haven't seen him since then, 4 years ago.

But we always pick up right where we left off. Until I read this thread, I thought our relationship was a bit unique. Guess not.

[Mr. Kotter]

I have a friend from the USMC who is absolutely hilarious. We were always tight. But I made a decision to leave Boston and he found a girl and started a family. We rarely speak but when he's coming to town, we always spend as much time as possible together. He stood up for us when I married Pink, too. Haven't seen him since then, 4 years ago.

But we always pick up right where we left off. Until I read this thread, I thought our relationship was a bit unique. Guess not.

I have three friends like that too; two from HS, one from college. All three were in my wedding...

Within 10 minutes, and a beer....it's as though we'd never been apart.

[Mr. Kotter]

But if you don't see a friend for a while...say, two years...do you have another category that you move them to? Like "dormant friend" or "recent past friend"? Or do they enjoy the same status as the person that you watch every Chiefs game with and go bowling with and skydive with every weekend.

Were you female in a former life....? :spock:

[luv]

I have a friend who I used to do everything with in high school. Her and her family have really helped me through some hard times. She works days, and I work nights. We pretty much lead two different lives now. However, we can go months without talking, then one of us will call the other and we'll talk like we do it everyday. Her brother enjoys stealing her phone when they're at a bar to call or text me when he's drunk. Usually on a Friday when they're out, and I'm stuck at work. Anyway, we don't talk much, but I still consider her to be a close friend.

[sedated]

I am of the theory that a friend is always a friend. I have a couple of people that I've talked to three times since high school, but I would still list them on my chart of friends. Am I abnormal in that respect?

you, RainMan, are abnormal in many respects. this is one of them.


Friendship (and all relationships) are like organisms.

they must be fed with interaction, or they will die.

If I had friends in high school, but haven't talked to them in several years, I wouldn't consider them friends anymore.

If I run into an "old friend" in the grocery store, I might describe our relationship to a third party by saying, "we used to be friends"


Lets go to the definition:

friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd)
n.

- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

this can be interpretted many ways, but I think it has an inherent timeliness factor. How do you know if you still like or trust someone if you haven't spoken to them in several years?

friendships/relationship must be renewed through some sort of contact/interaction/communication or they cease to exist.

[mike_b_284]

If I hear the phrase, "We used to be friends," I'm expecting a, "but then he buttf*cked my kid sister," sort of story.
ROFL

[luv]

you, RainMan, are abnormal in many respects. this is one of them.


Friendship (and all relationships) are like organisms.

they must be fed with interaction, or they will die.

If I had friends in high school, but haven't talked to them in several years, I wouldn't consider them friends anymore.

If I run into an "old friend" in the grocery store, I might describe our relationship to a third party by saying, "we used to be friends"


Lets go to the definition:

friend ( P ) Pronunciation Key (frnd)
n.

- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

this can be interpretted many ways, but I think it has an inherent timeliness factor. How do you know if you still like or trust someone if you haven't spoken to them in several years?

friendships/relationship must be renewed through some sort of contact/interaction/communication or they cease to exist.
Is it just me, or does this actually make sense?

[banyon]

Always liked this bit:

"When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the
group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not
interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in
seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food.
They don't know the activities, If I meet a guy in a club on the gym or
someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of
potential, but we're just not hiring right now. Of course when you're a kid,
you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were
the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend,
they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up.? No. Great! Come on in. Jump
up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, You like
Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!"

[Jilly]

I have a ton of acquaintances and not very many friends.... the friends that I have are the kind of people that if I were to pick up the phone and say, "I need you", they would drop everything to be there, even if it had been yrs since we talked. I think those type of friends are really rare.

[Rain Man]

you, RainMan, are abnormal in many respects. this is one of them.


Friendship (and all relationships) are like organisms.

they must be fed with interaction, or they will die.


Interesting points all, and possibly valid.

I think my friendships are kind of like those seeds found in seed jars in old Peruvian tombs. You can leave them alone for thousands of years and they'll just sit there, but once you expose them to light again, they start growing.

I'm not sure if my friends would feel the same way, though. That's the interesting part to me.

[Baby Lee]

Heh. I've got a good friend that I've known forever. We went to high school together, college together, worked at the same company, traveled all over the place together, and were even roommates for a while. I now see him maybe once every year or two, and he sent me a birthday card last year. I was like, "What the heck - ?"
He wishes he would quit you.

[patteeu]

I consider my friends to be friends no matter how much time passes between contacts/correspondences, as long as he/she wasn't borrowing money from me the last time we saw each other. I hope this sets your mind at ease, Rain Man. ;)

[Jenny Gump]

What does it take for someone to be considered your friend? Does it require regular face-to-face time? Does it require some type of contact on a regular basis (e-mail/Christmas cards/etc.)? How much contact?

If I have met them, and been around them more than once, and we haven't stabbed each other, then they are a "friend".

[Over-Head]

I only have a VERY small group of friends, the rest I consider acquaintances.:harumph:
"And I treat em all alike...just like shit!"
Thank you Mr. Marcinko :thumb:

[Over-Head]

If I have met them, and been around them more than once, and we haven't stabbed each other, then they are a "friend".
Holy shit I just realised something.
I'm on top :)



Post count wise that is, lord knows you wouldn't dirty your self with a fader fan like me :(

[chagrin]

Why haven't you called Rain Man, I've been worried sick!!!?

[Skip Towne]

Always liked this bit:

"When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the
group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not
interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in
seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food.
They don't know the activities, If I meet a guy in a club on the gym or
someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of
potential, but we're just not hiring right now. Of course when you're a kid,
you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were
the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend,
they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up.? No. Great! Come on in. Jump
up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, You like
Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!"
The real question is do you like Cherryontop?