View Full Version : hey laides i need some dating advice...
if you were completely in love with a guy and for 2 years you gave your heart and soul to try and get him to fall in love with you until finally you have to stop it for your own good so you finally leave him.
The whole time he said he didn't want a relationship but he was scared he was making a mistake if he were to let you go. He tells you now in all reality he loved you all along and was afraid to make a commitment because he he lacked the self-confidence to truly believe in the love you gave him.
Is there anything he can do to get you back? What can he do to proove that this isn't just a matter not having you anymore and that he really does love you and wants to show you in every way he never did.
I'm "he". Please help.
Herzig
02-26-2006, 08:14 PM
Short of buying a ring...I think you are probably outta luck. I've found when most women make up their minds about something(which usually takes a long time), it's usually for good. Then again, I'm not a woman, so what do I know? :shrug:
Hammock Parties
02-26-2006, 08:17 PM
http://www.cbc.ca/arts/images/pics/cusack2.jpg
She chased you for two years. Return the favor. Don't give up right away. It's nice to be chased and know there's someone who thinks you're worth it if they catch you.
DO NOT get her a ring if you're not ready for that.
CrazyHorse
02-26-2006, 08:38 PM
if you were completely in love with a guy and for 2 years you gave your heart and soul to try and get him to fall in love with you until finally you have to stop it for your own good so you finally leave him.
The whole time he said he didn't want a relationship but he was scared he was making a mistake if he were to let you go. He tells you now in all reality he loved you all along and was afraid to make a commitment because he he lacked the self-confidence to truly believe in the love you gave him.
Is there anything he can do to get you back? What can he do to proove that this isn't just a matter not having you anymore and that he really does love you and wants to show you in every way he never did.
I'm "he". Please help.
If you didn't want her till she walked out the door, you dont want her now then either.
If you didn't want her till she walked out the door, you dont want her now then either.
This may or may not be true. Sometimes people need wake up calls. Then again, maybe he wants her just for fear of being alone. The latter is usually true more of females though.
keg in kc
02-26-2006, 08:47 PM
I'm not a lady, but relationships that end usually end up...ended. She's probably already moving on and my advice would be that you do, too. Learn from your mistakes, and the next time the "right" one comes along, don't do whatever it is you did this time.
Hammock Parties
02-26-2006, 08:53 PM
Choose one of your friends that she doesn't know exists and would probably never encounter in the future.
Set up an attempted "armed robbery" by said friend at an agreed upon time, date and place.
Save her life.
Skip Towne
02-26-2006, 08:57 PM
Choose one of your friends that she doesn't know exists and would probably never encounter in the future.
Set up an attempted "armed robbery" by said friend at an agreed upon time, date and place.
Save her life.
:rolleyes:
KcMizzou
02-26-2006, 08:58 PM
That sounds like a Slayer Diablo plan.
Fire Me Boy!
02-26-2006, 09:00 PM
Send her "Say Anything" on bit torrent.
Phobia
02-26-2006, 09:01 PM
You just described a relationship I had except insert "5" for the "2".
We just celebrated our 4th anniversary.
Skip Towne
02-26-2006, 09:02 PM
That sounds like a Slayer Diablo plan.
Really! I used the rolleyes smiley for the first time evar.
Hammock Parties
02-26-2006, 09:05 PM
You just described a relationship I had except insert "5" for the "2".
We just celebrated our 4th anniversary.
Pink stalked you for five years? I am amazed.
Fire Me Boy!
02-26-2006, 09:06 PM
Pink stalked you for five years? I am amazed.
You've seen both of them, right? OBVIOUSLY, it's the other way around.
Hammock Parties
02-26-2006, 09:07 PM
Send her "Say Anything" on bit torrent.
This is creepy. I just started downloading it via bittorrent a few minutes ago.
Phobia
02-26-2006, 09:08 PM
Pink stalked you for five years? I am amazed.
Well, I was big kahuna at ChiefsPlanet. That carries some perks.
Fire Me Boy!
02-26-2006, 09:08 PM
Hmmm.... gozlkdfjaslkdhfoaiwehfjaslhdfjashfjkwelah ... have you been trying to prove your undying love for DRU? Did he send you Say Anything?
If you didn't want her till she walked out the door, you dont want her now then either.
See, this is what eats me up the most. I did want her the entire time. I did love her. I just didn't have the self-confidence to understand how she could love me so much as she showed and it scared me, so I did everything I could to try and NOT love her. What a schmuck!
Phobia
02-26-2006, 09:19 PM
Dru, you're still young, man. You don't have any idea what you want. You don't even know yourself yet. If it doesn't work out, don't worry about it. But you can chase her if you really, really want this. But it's going to be tough to win her back. Been there.
Valiant
02-26-2006, 09:22 PM
if you were completely in love with a guy and for 2 years you gave your heart and soul to try and get him to fall in love with you until finally you have to stop it for your own good so you finally leave him.
The whole time he said he didn't want a relationship but he was scared he was making a mistake if he were to let you go. He tells you now in all reality he loved you all along and was afraid to make a commitment because he he lacked the self-confidence to truly believe in the love you gave him.
Is there anything he can do to get you back? What can he do to proove that this isn't just a matter not having you anymore and that he really does love you and wants to show you in every way he never did.
I'm "he". Please help.
Sorry but you are pretty much ****ed.. Unless you have something she cannot find elsewhere you are screwed.. She wasted two years going after you, your only hope is she doesnt find anything right away and then you tell her how you really feel.. Oh, and hope that your real name is not dru... :shake:
Valiant
02-26-2006, 09:25 PM
That sounds like a Slayer Diablo plan.
What ever happened to gochiefs jr...
chiefs4me
02-26-2006, 09:26 PM
You can't make someone fall in love with you..I was stumped on the 2 years, and then I read where pink chased phob for 5 LONG years...unreal...I guess if she really loves you, and you are trying to get her back and show her you have changed.. then it might work out......
Valiant
02-26-2006, 09:30 PM
See, this is what eats me up the most. I did want her the entire time. I did love her. I just didn't have the self-confidence to understand how she could love me so much as she showed and it scared me, so I did everything I could to try and NOT love her. What a schmuck!
Go talk to her momor sister if she has one and explain... If you are brave enough to tell her parents about what a puss you were for two years and how you really feel... I would bet money she at least takes you back on a temporary basis...
Go talk to her momor sister if she has one and explain... If you are brave enough to tell her parents about what a puss you were for two years and how you really feel... I would bet money she at least takes you back on a temporary basis...
What makes you think that would work?
Dave Lane
02-26-2006, 09:33 PM
if you were completely in love with a guy and for 2 years you gave your heart and soul to try and get him to fall in love with you until finally you have to stop it for your own good so you finally leave him.
The whole time he said he didn't want a relationship but he was scared he was making a mistake if he were to let you go. He tells you now in all reality he loved you all along and was afraid to make a commitment because he he lacked the self-confidence to truly believe in the love you gave him.
Is there anything he can do to get you back? What can he do to proove that this isn't just a matter not having you anymore and that he really does love you and wants to show you in every way he never did.
I'm "he". Please help.
I'd think spelling ladies correctly would be a start.
Dave
Phobia
02-26-2006, 09:33 PM
You can't make someone fall in love with you..I was stumped on the 2 years, and then I read where pink chased phob for 5 LONG years...unreal...I guess if she really loves you, and you are trying to get her back and show her you have changed.. then it might work out......
To be fair, she knew what she was getting into. When I met her, I was still smoldering from the flames of the burn job my ex-wife put on me. So I had a ton of baggage. I was honest about the whole thing - I don't want to get married but I love you and value our relationship. Since she had never been married and wanted kids of her own, she eventually told me to shit or get off. I got off and regretted it the moment we split. So I chased her for a while. It took several months to get back to where we were and even then she had to twist by balls to get married. I'm a mess. Heh heh.
To be fair, she knew what she was getting into. When I met her, I was still smoldering from the flames of the burn job my ex-wife put on me. So I had a ton of baggage. I was honest about the whole thing - I don't want to get married but I love you and value our relationship. Since she had never been married and wanted kids of her own, she eventually told me to shit or get off. I got off and regretted it the moment we split. So I chased her for a while. It took several months to get back to where we were and even then she had to twist by balls to get married. I'm a mess. Heh heh.
If I chased someone for two years, I'd probably do the same thing. By having him chase her for a while, it gives him a chance to see how it felt for her, plus it shows her that he really thinks she's worth not giving up on.
chiefs4me
02-26-2006, 09:37 PM
To be fair, she knew what she was getting into. When I met her, I was still smoldering from the flames of the burn job my ex-wife put on me. So I had a ton of baggage. I was honest about the whole thing - I don't want to get married but I love you and value our relationship. Since she had never been married and wanted kids of her own, she eventually told me to shit or get off. I got off and regretted it the moment we split. So I chased her for a while. It took several months to get back to where we were and even then she had to twist by balls to get married. I'm a mess. Heh heh.
well see, there is hope for Dru..:thumb:
Bowser
02-26-2006, 09:37 PM
To be fair, she knew what she was getting into. When I met her, I was still smoldering from the flames of the burn job my ex-wife put on me. So I had a ton of baggage. I was honest about the whole thing - I don't want to get married but I love you and value our relationship. Since she had never been married and wanted kids of her own, she eventually told me to shit or get off. I got off and regretted it the moment we split. So I chased her for a while. It took several months to get back to where we were and even then she had to twist by balls to get married. I'm a mess. Heh heh.
I don't think I could have handled losing out to Ronald McDonald, either.
:D
Simplex3
02-26-2006, 09:50 PM
See, this is what eats me up the most. I did want her the entire time. I did love her. I just didn't have the self-confidence to understand how she could love me so much as she showed and it scared me, so I did everything I could to try and NOT love her. What a schmuck!
You might start by telling her this ----^
listopencil
02-26-2006, 11:00 PM
What ever happened to gochiefs jr...
...that's what I was just thinking. Well, I was thinking,"What happened to that freaky looking kid with the messed up teeth?"
cdcox
02-26-2006, 11:03 PM
My story seems applicable here. I met a girl when I was a freshman in college. We started dating in the fall and had declared our undying love for one another by the time the school year was out. By our junior year, I still loved her, but began blowing her off on occasion to drink with my buddies. Meanwhile, a few other guys started paying attention to her. When she dumped me, it felt like a punch in the gut. I was a mess for months. I pestered her for a several weeks making clear that I still had very strong feelings for her. She tolerated this for a while, but it soon became clear she wanted to make a break of it. I wallowed in my grief for a few more months, and finally started to come out of it and start looking to move on. Then out of the blue, my roomates woke me up one night and told me I had a phone call. It was her. We'd been drinking, and I thought they had played a prank on me by calling her, so I hung up as soon as I heard her voice. When I realized that she called me, I called her back. We married a little over a year later, and are coming up on our 23 anniversery.
My situation was very unusual. You probably won't get her back. In fact, I had given up. You can only make clear your desire to make ammends and then leave her enough space to decide to come back on her own. She met enough shitty guys during our 6 mos apart to realize that I was pretty special. She needed to see that. I needed to see how much she meant to me and I needed to sow a few wild oats, which I managed to get out of my system. The time apart was very hard for both of us, but in the end, it was good for our relationship.
The smart play is to move on. However, if you are convinced she is the one for you, make it clear to her that you see where you went wrong and that you are ready to make a commitment. Do this a few times, but don't make her get a restraining order. After you have made your desires clear, prepare to move on. If it is meant to be, it will work out. If not, chalk one up to experience.
DRU.. My Man..
Your in one doozy of a pickle
but I feel no matter how it ends up it will be a very good life experience.
Now Im not trying to be mean but you kinda sound like Peter Parker in SpiderMan 2.. He didnt have the confidance and didnt know what he really wanted , but its a movie so Im not sure how It can Apply here...
Phobia
02-26-2006, 11:12 PM
Whatever you do, do NOT listen to Slag. If he says something, do the opposite.
Whatever you do, do NOT listen to Slag. If he says something, do the opposite.
I dont feel That I gave Any Advice more of just stating my observation of the situation.
duncan_idaho
02-26-2006, 11:18 PM
I've recently gone through a similar situation... I dated a girl my senior year and really pushed her away the whole time... mostly because I decided I couldn't come out of college with that much of an attachment. Another factor was that before this girl, I had been single for about a year after being in a relationship for three years. Suffice it to say I went somewhat wild in that year... and it was hard to adjust to monogamy again. But anyway... As she tried to get closer, I put up walls. That made her more needy emotionally, which made me more stand-offish, which made her needier, etc, etc.
You can see where it's going; eventually, we were driving each other so crazy that we broke up.
I returned to single-hood for a while... dated a few girls... and was dating one girl for a couple of months when I basically had the same realization that you've had here, Dru...
I called the ex on a Tuesday (I live in St. Louis, she lives in Columbia) to talk about it ... she was skeptical about my sincerity and ability to change... so I drove to Columbia at 10 p.m. ... we had a long talk and got back together... i went to bed at 4 a.m., then got up 2 1/2 hours later to drive back to St. Louis for my 9 a.m. staff meeting.
It's been great ever since; pretty sure this girl is the one.
So have faith; be sincere and honest; tell her how you're feeling; tell her what will be different; tell what you want; tell her why you're ready when you weren't before.
Hammock Parties
02-26-2006, 11:22 PM
She met enough shitty guys during our 6 mos apart to realize that I was pretty special.
You're quite a catch. Not many guys can program and develop a fantastic NFL prediction program.
cdcox
02-26-2006, 11:27 PM
You're quite a catch. Not many guys can program and develop a fantastic NFL prediction program.
Heh, believe it or not, she married me before I had ascended to such lofty heights.
will this help or make things worse? i can't decide.
http://angelleye.sytes.net:8080/angelleye/temp/song.mp3
Mr. Flopnuts
02-26-2006, 11:37 PM
I disagree with most of what I've read on this thread. Here's my observation of the human race. We want what we want, when we want it. We'll scream, cry, kick, and moan until we get it. If she finally "gave up" 2 years later this is one of two things. A ploy, or resolution. No matter what it is you win. Why? Simple, she never got what she wanted. Since that is the case she's gonna play hard to get thinking that is what it took this whole time. Keep at it tiger, you'll be hittin them skins in no time. Enjoy. I hope it all works out for you exactly as you desire and you've met the woman of your dreams.
I disagree with most of what I've read on this thread. Here's my observation of the human race. We want what we want, when we want it. We'll scream, cry, kick, and moan until we get it. If she finally "gave up" 2 years later this is one of two things. A ploy, or resolution. No matter what it is you win. Why? Simple, she never got what she wanted. Since that is the case she's gonna play hard to get thinking that is what it took this whole time. Keep at it tiger, you'll be hittin them skins in no time. Enjoy. I hope it all works out for you exactly as you desire and you've met the woman of your dreams.
We're talking two years, not two months. If she loves him like she said she did, she's not playing hard to get. She's simply reassuring herself that she's not going to get caught in the same dead end relationship. Songs, poems, flowers, candy, cards, etc are nice. But I suggest sitting her down and letting her know exactly how you feel first.
Simplex3
02-26-2006, 11:43 PM
will this help or make things worse? i can't decide.
I'd have to say unless this chick is a slut groupy I'd leave the music out of it.
Mr. Flopnuts
02-26-2006, 11:44 PM
We're talking two years, not two months. If she loves him like she said she did, she's not playing hard to get. She's simply reassuring herself that she's not going to get caught in the same dead end relationship. Songs, poems, flowers, candy, cards, etc are nice. But I suggest sitting her down and letting her know exactly how you feel first.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Chances are she's trying to break away before this gets out of control. I've been in a relationship like this and I promise you, it takes two to tango. This has definately not been a "normal" friendship. I do believe however that it is going to work out the way Dru wants. Simply because she never got a taste of the forbidden ice cream. Now maybe she'll get it, and lose interest. I really think though that until that itch is scratched, it never really goes away on its own. In any case, whatever the outcome Dru, good luck.
picasso
02-26-2006, 11:50 PM
if you were completely in love with a guy and for 2 years you gave your heart and soul to try and get him to fall in love with you until finally you have to stop it for your own good so you finally leave him.
The whole time he said he didn't want a relationship but he was scared he was making a mistake if he were to let you go. He tells you now in all reality he loved you all along and was afraid to make a commitment because he he lacked the self-confidence to truly believe in the love you gave him.
Is there anything he can do to get you back? What can he do to proove that this isn't just a matter not having you anymore and that he really does love you and wants to show you in every way he never did.
I'm "he". Please help.
WHAT?????
This is the worst third person babble I have ever read. GEEZ!!
If this is the way you communicated with her Randy then you're better off staying at the motel with Earl.
Phobia
02-26-2006, 11:53 PM
Don't I know it.
You should make DRU a mod. That will bring her back on her knees.
Skip Towne
02-27-2006, 06:41 AM
Well, I was big kahuna at ChiefsPlanet. That carries some perks.
And now look at you.
Inspector
02-27-2006, 06:51 AM
This would be a good time to try your hand at writing country music.
Good luck.
angel
02-27-2006, 09:12 AM
I chased a guy for many a year, hoping that he would come around-- when I finally decided that I was done chasing him, I was done- there was no looking back. The fact that you are only wanting her now that she's done with you is telling her that you're one of those guys who only wants something you can't have. If you really, really want her back, you're going to have to work at it. You're going to have to be completely open about your feeling towards her. You're going to have to prove to her that it's her you want and not that you're just lonely. You're going to have to really listen to her wants and needs and show her that you're willing and able to comply with them. Since you put her through those two years, you're going to have to pay for it for a long time if you really want her back.
sedated
02-27-2006, 09:26 AM
Now Im not trying to be mean but you kinda sound like Peter Parker in SpiderMan 2.. He didnt have the confidance and didnt know what he really wanted , but its a movie so Im not sure how It can Apply here...
saying "you're like Peter Parker" doesn't count as advise.
it doesn't really count as anything.
thanks for nothing. :p
sedated
02-27-2006, 09:30 AM
I chased a guy for many a year, hoping that he would come around-- when I finally decided that I was done chasing him, I was done- there was no looking back.
leaving SPAM on his front door didn't work? :hmmm: go figure.
Iowanian
02-27-2006, 11:32 AM
I think you're screwed. The real thing hurting here seems to be your pride.
Chalk this one up to experience, and it'll make you a better man for the next broad, and eventually the one you marry.
Phobia
02-27-2006, 12:27 PM
I chased a guy for many a year, hoping that he would come around-- when I finally decided that I was done chasing him, I was done- there was no looking back.
I was flattered anyway, Angel. Don't think I didn't notice.
Brock
02-27-2006, 12:30 PM
When a woman's made her mind up, you're done. Don't waste your time.
MOhillbilly
02-27-2006, 12:35 PM
Young feline penetration far best than both above
you sex them you bullshit them
you tell them youre in love
they take you serious
you laugh at them they cry
they tell you 'but you said'
sorry bitch but i lied
drink-fight-****
Cormac
02-27-2006, 12:37 PM
I chased a guy for many a year, hoping that he would come around-- when I finally decided that I was done chasing him, I was done- there was no looking back. The fact that you are only wanting her now that she's done with you is telling her that you're one of those guys who only wants something you can't have. If you really, really want her back, you're going to have to work at it. You're going to have to be completely open about your feeling towards her. You're going to have to prove to her that it's her you want and not that you're just lonely. You're going to have to really listen to her wants and needs and show her that you're willing and able to comply with them. Since you put her through those two years, you're going to have to pay for it for a long time if you really want her back.
Uh-oohh. That famous 12 word motto.
:shake:
:p
mike_b_284
02-27-2006, 12:41 PM
in the words of Champ Kind "you sound like a gay"
Quit whining and find another chick. You already gave her the impression that she wasn't your first choice. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE GETTING THAT IMPRESSION, trust me.
angel
02-27-2006, 12:48 PM
I was flattered anyway, Angel. Don't think I didn't notice.
It's too late for that now...
Phobia
02-27-2006, 12:51 PM
It's too late for that now...
It's okay, I got everything I wanted...
Jilly
02-27-2006, 02:51 PM
Love is love and if you were in love from the beginning you would have known it and you would have fought for it then. Now that your other fling didn't work out, you suddenly see that she's good enough so you want her back, that's all it is.... You don't really love her, because if you did you wouldn't have cared about all that other junk. You don't really love her, you just want what was comfortable. Love isn't something you just take chances on, you take chances for it, but not on it. It's such a rare emotion that you do anything you can to savor it and keep it safe, so if you really did love her, you wouldn't have done such a dumb thing. You couldn't have done such a dumb thing.
Wile_E_Coyote
02-27-2006, 03:03 PM
impressive, you called the crew here ladies & still got responses
Sully
02-27-2006, 03:26 PM
Is she hot?
Cause, really, that's all that matters.
Pitt Gorilla
02-27-2006, 03:27 PM
Get...Fun-ky.
Cowbell.
Iowanian
02-27-2006, 04:01 PM
Throw her Cell number up here, and let me talk to her for you. I'll transcribe.
Jenny Gump
02-27-2006, 05:02 PM
This happened to me. I played the part of the girl you let get away. You have to do anything it takes...if you are absolutely sure that you are sorry she got away in the first place.
If you aren't, don't waste her time.
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