Dartgod
03-09-2006, 09:08 AM
A coworker just turned me on to this site. It’s a parody site, supporting the owners of the Chiefs and Royals in the upcoming stadium improvements/rolling roof ballot issue. Here are a few excerpts…
Lamar Hunt Announces Luxury Tomb Will Increase Profits
KANSAS CITY, MO – At a surprise press conference today, Lamar Hunt pledged to attend the 2015 Super Bowl “dead or alive,” announcing the construction of, and his agreement to be buried in, a jewel-encrusted, glass-walled luxury tomb atop the southern end zone at Arrowhead Stadium. “We looked into cryogenics, but the technology just isn’t there yet, even for those of us richer than God,” said Hunt.
Report: Super Bowl Cures Social Ills
DETROIT, MI — According to a report released by the office of Detroit’s Auditor General, the simple act of having Super Bowl XL within Detroit’s city limits has cured decades of social ills that have plagued Detroit since the nationwide urban exodus following World War II.
Sharon Gipson, interim Auditor General, was apparently pleased. “[NFL Commisioner] Tagliabue promised us good things, but we were skeptical. However, in the month since February 6, we’ve eliminated poverty and homelessness, our inner-city school rankings top even the most prestigious suburban academies, and our streets, sewers, and other crumbling infrastructure has all been repaired. It’s a Super Bowl miracle!”
Kansas City Mayor Kay Barnes believes similar miracles can happen in Kansas City, now that the city has been promised Super Bowl XLIX pending approval of the rolling roof measure to appear on April’s ballot. “Like Detroit, Kansas City has a long history of deferring critical maintenance and infrastructure projects.
Royals Sell Unused Seats for Fundraiser
KANSAS CITY, MO - In the latest in a series of fundraising events, the Kansas City Royals recently held a sports memorabilia sale in the north parking lot of the scenic Truman Sports Complex.”It’s all about the pennies,” Royals owner David Glass said. “With all the improvements coming to our beloved ballpark, we felt the need to clean house, and give the old girl a good dusting.”
Kauffman Stadium, first built in 1973, is currently the oldest ballpark in Major League Baseball without sushi service, and Glass intends to remedy this embarrasing predicament with the proceeds of the sale of tens of thousands of seats from inside the 33-year-old stadium.
“We don’t really use these seats, anyway, so I don’t see the point in keeping them around. We’ll just wind up having to pay people to wash them, like last year,” Glass said.
http://www.saveourowners.com/
Lamar Hunt Announces Luxury Tomb Will Increase Profits
KANSAS CITY, MO – At a surprise press conference today, Lamar Hunt pledged to attend the 2015 Super Bowl “dead or alive,” announcing the construction of, and his agreement to be buried in, a jewel-encrusted, glass-walled luxury tomb atop the southern end zone at Arrowhead Stadium. “We looked into cryogenics, but the technology just isn’t there yet, even for those of us richer than God,” said Hunt.
Report: Super Bowl Cures Social Ills
DETROIT, MI — According to a report released by the office of Detroit’s Auditor General, the simple act of having Super Bowl XL within Detroit’s city limits has cured decades of social ills that have plagued Detroit since the nationwide urban exodus following World War II.
Sharon Gipson, interim Auditor General, was apparently pleased. “[NFL Commisioner] Tagliabue promised us good things, but we were skeptical. However, in the month since February 6, we’ve eliminated poverty and homelessness, our inner-city school rankings top even the most prestigious suburban academies, and our streets, sewers, and other crumbling infrastructure has all been repaired. It’s a Super Bowl miracle!”
Kansas City Mayor Kay Barnes believes similar miracles can happen in Kansas City, now that the city has been promised Super Bowl XLIX pending approval of the rolling roof measure to appear on April’s ballot. “Like Detroit, Kansas City has a long history of deferring critical maintenance and infrastructure projects.
Royals Sell Unused Seats for Fundraiser
KANSAS CITY, MO - In the latest in a series of fundraising events, the Kansas City Royals recently held a sports memorabilia sale in the north parking lot of the scenic Truman Sports Complex.”It’s all about the pennies,” Royals owner David Glass said. “With all the improvements coming to our beloved ballpark, we felt the need to clean house, and give the old girl a good dusting.”
Kauffman Stadium, first built in 1973, is currently the oldest ballpark in Major League Baseball without sushi service, and Glass intends to remedy this embarrasing predicament with the proceeds of the sale of tens of thousands of seats from inside the 33-year-old stadium.
“We don’t really use these seats, anyway, so I don’t see the point in keeping them around. We’ll just wind up having to pay people to wash them, like last year,” Glass said.
http://www.saveourowners.com/