The Game of Clue - the grownup version.

[Rain Man]

In the game of Clue, there are six suspects, six weapons, and six rooms.

The Parker Brothers version is relatively tame - the weapons are revolvers and knives, the rooms are ballrooms and billiards rooms, and the people are a pretty civilized-looking bunch. The only homage to real life is the possibility that someone bludgeoned Mr. Boddy with a lead pipe. If it was real life, you should pretty much always guess the lead pipe, I think.

So...I got to thinking. What would make it real? What would make the game really more true to life?

Here are my suggestions for a better group of six suspects, six weapons, and six locations. Feel free to offer up any better suggestions.

Suspects

1. Mr. Teenage Gang Member
2. Mr. Road Rage Guy
3. Mr. Normal-Looking Sadistic Porno Addict
4. Mr. Loner Who Drives Around and Around and Scares His Neighbors
5. Ms. Golddigger Who Really Wants Control of the Money
6. Mr. Hyped-Up Crack Addict Who Really Needs Money for His Next Hit

Weapons

1. Brick
2. Lead Pipe (Gotta keep this from the original)
3. Snuff Film Strangulation With Women's Underwear
4. Fists and Boots with Blades Built into the Toes
5. Filet Knife, alongside a nice red wine
6. Axe

Locations

1. Alley in a bad part of town
2. Basement that is fixed up to resemble a dungeon
3. The trunk of a car
4. A dock down by the river
5. A wooded area
6. A private room in a mansion, surrounded by an audience of rich perverts
7. A room in a brothel
8. Juarez
9. The bathroom of a crack house

I think if we changed to these descriptors, we would provide not just fun for the children, but learning as well.

[Logical]

4. Mr. Loner Who Drives Around and Around and Scares His Neighbors


ROFL

Only Gochiefs got his own category in this version.

[SLAG]

Wheres the Poll?

[FAX]

Mr. Road Rage Guy with the Snuff Film Strangulation in The Bathroom Of A Crack House.

Damn. That's rough, but pass the envelope anyway and let's see.

FAX

[Rain Man]

Mr. Road Rage Guy with the Snuff Film Strangulation in The Bathroom Of A Crack House.

Damn. That's rough, but pass the envelope anyway and let's see.

FAX

(Showing card) It's not Mr. Road Rage Guy.

[FAX]

Am I out of the game, Mr. Rain Man, or can I roll again?

FAX

[Rain Man]

You can roll again, but only after everyone else has had a turn.

[mcan]

What would make it more realistic?


Well, if you can SEE the body and it has a hole it in that is spurting with blood, probably don't guess "the rope." My guess is that guy got SHOT...

To make it more realistic, you should cross the game with other cool games like "Operation" "Monopoly" and the ever popular role player games...

First, everybody chooses a player (The lawyer, the Doctor, The Greenskeeper, The Shrink, The Student, The Actress, The Driver, The Butler).... Then you roll the dice to see who DIES... That player loses right off... So, he or she can go make some Mac and Cheese, we'll be playing for awhile.

[RealSNR]

The movie rocks. And I loved the game growing up.

[Cormac]

You forgot Mr. Postal.

Or maybe, he's a one-dimensional murderer.

:shrug:

For weapons you could add a sawn-off shotgun, and a sockful of pennies.

Just a thought.

[Hydrae]

What would make it more realistic?


Well, if you can SEE the body and it has a hole it in that is spurting with blood, probably don't guess "the rope." My guess is that guy got SHOT...

To make it more realistic, you should cross the game with other cool games like "Operation" "Monopoly" and the ever popular role player games...

First, everybody chooses a player (The lawyer, the Doctor, The Greenskeeper, The Shrink, The Student, The Actress, The Driver, The Butler).... Then you roll the dice to see who DIES... That player loses right off... So, he or she can go make some Mac and Cheese, we'll be playing for awhile.


Dead guy has to do the beer run.