The angry stripper rant

[BIG_DADDY]

1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the ****ing deed to Trump Towers... what the **** do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It's a ****in' dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.

2) You losers that come into the club for a lapdance with NO underwear or boxers and thin-ass, nylon shorts, so we slip and slide on your hard-on (which always feel like a sharpie pen ~ fine point)...**** you.

3) You with the thick-ass jeans, this was an impromptu visit, eh?

4) Don't pull my thong up during a dance and ask me if it felt good. IT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD.

5) Hey you, Loser, the one counting out the 20 bucks in one dollar increments, rubbing your fingers between each one to make sure you are giving me just that one dollar. Yes, you.

6) No I will not just let you "slip it in real quick" for $50 more bucks.

7) Yeah, my tits are real. As real as my affection for you.

8)If you cum in your pants, you have to tip me an extra $100 for being a lame-ass who can cum in their pants from a lapdance.

9) Stop asking me out. You're a smelly, fat loser and the only reason I'm smiling and cooing at you is because I want your money. Outside of the club I wouldn't even fart your way.

11) Stop bitching at me about the goddamn two drink minimum. First of all, your breath ranks (what'd you have for dinner, garlic and shit?), you're about 172 lbs. overweight, and you look like Jay Leno. More importantly: I don't give a shit.

12) Don't bitch at me about the $10 non-alchoholic beer either. Hide a bottle of Jack in your coat pocket next time like everyone else does.

13) My horniness is in direct proportion to your income.

14) No, you CAN'T SMOKE. Dumb. Ass.

15 )Boys, don't sit in the front row with your "homies" and act all engrossed in some deep conversation during a girls performance because you want to look like you're too "cool" to notice the hot, naked girl in front of you. It's a clear sign that you ain't getting any.

16) DON'T SIT IN THE FRONT ROW IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TIP. Fer chrissakes!!!!!!!!!!!

17) "So what do you guys do when you're on your period?" Answer: I lap dance with guys in dark pants.

18) STOP trying to grab my tits!!!!!!! That's extra.

19) SHOWER FIRST, you nasty ****!

20) I had a feeling you weren't going to tip me, so I took extra care to rub my lip gloss on your collar and wear extra glitter lotion and obnoxious perfume before our dance.

21) Hey cheapasses: please don't come to my work. Just stay home and jack off to "Desperate Housewives" instead. It will save us a both a lot of unpleasantry.

22) Stop asking me why I do this job and try to get all psychologically analytical on me. For the money, you moron, that's why.

23) No seriously, my real name is Sparkle.

24) NO, I will not take a dime sac for payment. I can tell it's oregano anyway you stupid muther****er!

25) Sorry, I don't do that. Ask the ugly girl at the bar with the black roots and overbite.

26) I can see it's your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a **** or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don't have to do "extra services." I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.

27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.

28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the ****ing maxi-single to me.

29)Yes I will **** you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.

30) DO NOT come into the club looking for a girlfriend/date. It's like me going to PETA looking for a steak.

31) Girls--what's with the pole smell? Can we do a little hygiene check? Nothing than worse than twirling around the pole and getting a whiff of stale pussy.

32) Girls--stop lip-syncing to the song you're dancing to on stage. Especially if you don't know all the words.

33) Girls--if your toes curl and hang over your platform shoes a la' Fred Flinstone, you need to go up a size.

34) Girls--drowning yourself in Angel perfume is just as bad if not worse than the BO you're trying to cover. Take a goddamn shower, you smell like lapdance funk.

35) Hey DJ! You suck!

36)Girls--may I suggest complete sobriety before getting tatted up? Tattoos should be meaningful, or at least semi-meaningful, or at least semi semi-meaningful. That ****ing dancing llama on your ass is so lame.

37)Girls--some songs just should not be stripped to. Please. No Disney soundtracks (you know who you are, you ****ing weirdo), Sade, Boys II Men, or Bjork. For the love of God, Please.

[StcChief]

ROFL

[BIG_DADDY]

ROFL

You can always tell when a stripper starts getting older. They get all angry when their income doesn't cover their cocain habit anymore.

[Halfcan]

Wow, that is a long bitch list. Get a new career already and stop complaining.

[Demonpenz]

quit complaning about the 8 dollar atm charge we are here to take your money because you suck at getting real girls. And seriously all you fat black guys. We know your not mo vaughn

[Katipan]

I think a boy wrote that.

[Duck Dog]

Mexican strip clubs spoiled me. I remember the first Mexican strip club I went to in TJ. The chicks were hot as hell and when I thought I was buying a lap dance I was actually buying a blow job.

**** American strippers.

[Demonpenz]

I think a boy wrote that.


You are probably right. There is no bitching in there about the lighting or how someone's hair doesn't go with their face.

[MOhillbilly]

i recently took a girl to a stripclub on a first date, when i tiped a stripper, she said " you two make an odd couple ". to which i responded "shut up'. to which my date laughed and told the stripper " DANCE MONKEY! DANCE! ".

---------

[sedated]

numbers 18 and 24 not applicable at the Outhouse

[sedated]

Mexican strip clubs spoiled me. I remember the first Mexican strip club I went to in TJ. The chicks were hot as hell and when I thought I was buying a lap dance I was actually buying a blow job.

**** American strippers.

I think lap dance is mexican for blow-job

[Katipan]

You are probably right. There is no bitching in there about the lighting or how someone's hair doesn't go with their face.

plus theres lots of silly things only a boy would think a girl would care about.

and how many girls really come out and just call themselves ugly whores?

not enough!

26) I can see it's your first time at a strip club. Let me explain the dynamics to you. If you want a **** or a blow-job, go to the ugly chicks. Hot girls don't have to do "extra services." I can give you some recommendations for a small fee.

27) It is not okay for you to bounce me on your cock like a baby on a knee. Not okay.

28) Stop complaining about how short the song was. It felt like the ****ing maxi-single to me.

29)Yes I will **** you, but only for 10 grand. More if you're ugly. So basically, more.

[BIG_DADDY]

I think a boy wrote that.

Maybe, I don't know strippers get all angry when the well dries up because the younger girls are getting it all now. They usually end up taking some sap down for the count for their retirement. I would most likely never marry a stripper although I have had two friends do it successfully so far. Both have two kids. Some strippers are cool it's just hard to find one that not all ****ed up in the head from years of partying their ass off. The stripper my buddy Adam married actually did put herself through school being a stripper and is now an ER nurse and makes bucks. He still worries about someone recognizing her from her past though as she stripped, put herself through school and now works all in Sacramento.

[MOhillbilly]

Maybe, I don't know strippers get all angry when the well dries up because the younger girls are getting it all now. They usually end up taking some sap down for the count for their retirement.

that pretty much describes every attention whore ever.

[RaiderH8r]

As the song goes, The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

It's funny when strippers cry.

[BIG_DADDY]

that pretty much describes every attention whore ever.

I actually dated 2 strippers in my life. One I met as a stripper. It was quite obvious right away that she had series issues so that was pretty short lived. The second one became a stripper when we were already going out. We broke up shortly there after and she wanted all the naked pictures I had of her back. I was like why, your showing it to everyone every night anyway. (I still have them) Shortly after that she got a real job for No Fear Gear and I have no idea if she ever went back. The one thing I am sure of is wherever she is these days she is making some guys life miserable especially now that she is not as young and attractive as she used to be.

[Rain Man]

1) Hey you over there, holding that one dollar bill in your hand with a death grip and waving it around at me like it's the ****ing deed to Trump Towers... what the **** do you want me to do, grow another pussy?!? It's a ****in' dollar, put it down on the tiprail and blow my world away already.


If I had a dollar for every time I've heard this, I'd...well, I'd be breaking even.

[Rain Man]

The second one became a stripper when we were already going out. We broke up shortly there after and she wanted all the naked pictures I had of her back. I was like why, your showing it to everyone every night anyway. (I still have them)

So, is your scanner broken or something? We're all friends here.

[BIG_DADDY]

So, is your scanner broken or something? We're all friends here.

Pictures like that are not going to be OK to post here. I need to learn to use our scanner/copier too. I have never used it as a scanner before.

Here is a funny e-mail my buddy sent me once. I don't totally agree with everything but it makes some good points:

So You Want to Date
a Stripper?

So you got a stripper's phone number, huh? Called her up and chatted about this and that and had a nice little conversation with her, huh? What's her name? Cinnamon? Going out with her for lunch on Saturday, eh? Very Nice. Here are a few tips — because dating a stripper is a hazardous affair and the only thing you're going to get out of this insane ride are bragging rights for the rest of your life. This article is based on information gleaned from my brief stay in Stripperville.

First of all, you've got to have a destination in mind before you embark on this venture. What do you want from the Stripper? A few fun evenings out on the town with a little hottie on your arm? Sex? Free passes to the Titty Bar where you met her? Everlasting true love? Handjob? Look — walking into this without a goal is certain means for failure, because she operates on her own terms and if you let her manipulate you and lead the show, you're sunk. She meets 50 guys a night who are potential dates, so she's just playing the odds with you. She's thinking she just might meet someone who can handle her, but no one can. Trust me. No one can handle her. You'll never change her or pull her out of Stripperville. Remember that and keep your eyes on the prize.

Several points to consider:

1. You're not Special.

You're one of 18 guys she's juggling right now, and one of a hundred who witness her naked glory every night. It's her job to make guys feel like they're the only one she's interested in. She gets paid handsomely for that skill. That sultry stare she's giving you across the dinner table with those piercing green eyes is the same look that forces 75 men-a-night to fumble for their wallets and jam fistfuls of green into her G-string even though they're six months behind on child support.

2. She makes more money than you. Get used to it.

Keep in mind that she pulls down more than most corporate attorneys (who also represent a large portion of her clientele). She's ripping 2-5K a week tax-free, and you shouldn't expect her to pay for anything. It's not in her nature. Guys fawn all over her every single night and offer her stacks of crisp Benjamins in an effort to get their knobs slobbered on in the parking lot behind the club (something she'll claim she's never done, but the other girls at the club have — right — she's done it at least once).

3. If you get emotionally involved with this girl, you're in for a hurricane of pain.

Your future with this chick: broken dates, shattered windows, holes punched in doors, a slew of ex-boyfriends and husbands, a thousand "friends" calling all the time, an encyclopedia of restraining orders she has out on said exes and a couple customers who stalked her for six months. Her apartment is littered with soggy G-strings and cheap 8-inch heeled shoes, along with empty tubes of body glitter, mascara, prescription drugs, zit cream, Aqua Net and Polaroid pictures of her and her "friends" engaged in some drinking and dancing on St. Patrick's Day last year. The Polaroid pictures of her and her stripper friends getting nasty for the entire bar are still circulating around town because one of the guys she dated last month stole them out of her nightstand when he sensed the end was near and he wasn't going to be getting any more Cinnamon Love.

3. She has more guy friends than you had all throughout high school and college, collectively.

Sometimes they'll just drop in when you two are hanging out and you're thinking it might get romantic. The guy friend will ask her — right in front of you — if she wants to go to Happy Hour at the Knick Knack Paddy Whack Lounge and she'll look at you with bright eyes and say, "Yeah — let's go to Happy Hour with Tim here — it'll be fun!" And you, still gripping on to that glimmer of hope for some pussy, will say yes and you'll spend the next three hours in a simmering rage while you quaff watered-down Bud Light drafts, because she's the most popular girl in the bar and every person with a penis in there is looking to hop on the Stripper Wagon that is blazing through Stripperville at a very unsafe speed.

All of those "guy friends" started out just like you, chief. They saw the Promised Titty Land and thought they could get there, too. Once they tired of the bullshit and drama, or she found someone else, they were relegated to "friends." They could've bought a ****ing sailboat with all the money they blew on young Cinnamon, and now they hang on to some last vestige of hope, thinking that she may just get drunk enough some night and let them put their spit on the slit. You guys could all get together and swap the exact same stories about wasted nights, full-blown disappointment, and confused, desperate whack-off sessions when you all found out that dating a stripper is no different than trying to debate Nietzsche with a Dalmation.

4. Her life is a flurry of activity selected at random.

This stimulates her sub-par self-esteem. At 10am she will be rocketing down the freeway at 130mph on the back of some guy's crotch rocket. By 1pm she's already at some different guy's house, swimming naked in the pool with him and his Great Dane named Robo. By 5pm she's doing "X" at some other guy's house, and from there she goes home for the five-minute shower and gets ready for work.

5. She'll blow you off for three dates in a row.

When you keep calling, she knows she has you. That Saturday night dinner and special room you've secured at the ****ing Ritz will be vaporized after she tells you she's going to Mexico with some of her "friends." Her whimsical trip to Mexico will forever after be known as Cabo Wabo Orgy 2002, and you'll likely come across some digital pix of her fellating two guys on the beach in Cabo while you're scanning some amateur porn site on the Net.

It's a crazy affair, for sure, but just remember these do's and don'ts and you'll be fine:

DON'T ever call her and not announce your name. Her phone rings more than all of the lines at the New York Times combined. Don't put her in the precarious position of trying to guess your name. "Is it Steve? Rick? Mike? Dave? Javier? Justin? Michael? Chris? Matt? Juan? Adam? Alex? Roberto? Ed? Brian? Eugene? Tim?" She'll make it quite clear that she has many suitors, which excites her to no end, and puts you in a bottle of bourbon all alone by 9pm that night. Try to sound upbeat: "Hi Cinnamon, this is Greg, I was just walking through Tiffany's, looking at a $900 sterling-silver ashtray and thought of you." (She smokes. They all smoke. She'd gush over an ashtray from Tiffany's. Don't buy it, though. Make her think you would've bought it for her, if only there was a rose engraved on it.)

DON'T ask her about her ****ing tattoos unless you want to look like one of her customers.

DON'T go see her at her job unless it's absolutely necessary. A necessity would be getting her condo key so you can go feed her cat. If you get to that point, FYI, you're now one of her "friends," and you can wrap up the sexual fantasies you have of her by beating off right on her pillow after you throw the cat some Meow Mix.

DON'T try to keep up with her. Don't skip work to spend the day with her. She works nights and you work days. Keep your job. Her days are spent at tanning booths, Frederick's of Hollywood and chic outdoor cafés where her and her stripper "friends" eat poached salmon salads with dressing on the side.

DO carry lots of hundreds in a money clip. Make sure she sees you strip off the bills when the dinner check comes. Or better yet, whip out the Corporate Amex and toss it on the table like you're folding a bad poker hand. Clasp your hands behind your head and lean back into your chair after you make the Amex toss, as if to say, "See that? Unlimited credit, baby."

DO kiss her on the cheek when she shows up at your place for the nice dinner you're going to cook her, and knock her fishnets off with your ability to handle the cuisine and wine. At some early point in the evening though, you're going to have to find her cell phone in her purse and steal the battery out of it, because that thing will ring incessantly and she will eventually find something or someone better to do. Pull the battery or she's going to get some call at midnight, when you've got the Miles Davis playing lightly in the background, and the candles illuminating the room in a soft glow and you think you're about to "storm the beach." This call will undoubtedly be from one of her "friends" who is going to an after-hours party at some country bar and all of the sudden she'll squeal with delight and jot down the address on her hand and say to you, "Let's go Two-Stepping at the Country Bunker with John and Kevin!"

DO remember this: strippers are more ****ed up than The Who was during their 1973 U.K. "Quadrophenia" Tour. They're a bad lot to hang out with, because there's so much freedom and money in Stripperville. They've got it all and they don't need you or anyone else. All they need is their Xanax and Raspberry Stoli on the rocks and their job. Yeah — the job. That's what fuels the lifestyle and you're never going to pry her from it. Don't even suggest it.

If your goal from the aforementioned list is "sex," you need to understand that it's going to take at least five dates. At least. Figure $250 per date. Compound that and it's a nice little used Hobie Cat or a decent house payment. While that fine body, devoid of tan lines, might fuel you to the fifth date, I'd recommend looking into escort services in your area. With an escort, you're getting what you want right off the bat, and it'll likely cost you half of what Cinnamon is charging.

Good luck in Stripperville. It'll be a short stay, but something you'll talk about for years to come.

[MOhillbilly]

I actually dated 2 strippers in my life. One I met as a stripper. It was quite obvious right away that she had series issues so that was pretty short lived. The second one became a stripper when we were already going out. We broke up shortly there after and she wanted all the naked pictures I had of her back. I was like why, your showing it to everyone every night anyway. (I still have them) Shortly after that she got a real job for No Fear Gear and I have no idea if she ever went back. The one thing I am sure of is wherever she is these days she is making some guys life miserable especially now that she is not as young and attractive as she used to be.

I have also dated strippers. They liked to be controled and i like to control so it worked out for a while and it never bothered me that other dudes were tiping them, cause at the end of the day i took the majority of there money anyway.

upsides- good drugs, free money, connections to other strippers , they work in a bar.

downside- they are just above the lowest common denominators on the human scale.

[Katipan]

that was beautiful

[BIG_DADDY]

I have also dated strippers. They liked to be controled and i like to control so it worked out for a while and it never bothered me that other dudes were tiping them, cause at the end of the day i took the majority of there money anyway.

upsides- good drugs, free money, connections to other strippers , they work in a bar.

downside- they are just above the lowest common denominators on the human scale.

Actually there was one other time me and a friend pulled two out of the club in Vegas. Entertained them all night and went back to their place and got what we wanted. We left and went back to our hotel rooms. Next morning I am talking to him and his phone rings in his room. I'm like if you answer that it will be the most expensive call you ever take. He picked it up and it was 20k later before he finally dropped that pain in the ass. I knew better.

[Rain Man]

It's a shame that stripping isn't considered more of a positive career. In my dream world, strip clubs would be as widely accepted and widely available as gas stations or Starbucks.

[MOhillbilly]

Actually there was one other time me and a friend pulled two out of the club in Vegas. Entertained them all night and went back to their place and got what we wanted. We left and went back to our hotel rooms. Next morning I am talking to him and his phone rings in his room. I'm like if you answer that it will be the most expensive call you ever take. He picked it up and it was 20k later before he finally dropped that pain in the ass. I knew better.


they come in all flavors homes, and i doubt were tipin the same flavors.

[Valiant]

Who cares what a ignorant-slutpuppy-cokehead-but I got three kids to feed while i am going to college to be a doctor stripper thinks???

[4th and Long]

http://img378.imageshack.us/img378/5956/beastripper0br.jpg

[siberian khatru]

My illusions are shattered.

[Rain Man]

Guffawing at 4th and Long's art.



Stripping is really an empowering career for a young woman. Good money, creative, good way to hone communications skills - I don't know why colleges don't offer it as a major. It would drive starting salaries for the placement office up immensely.

[Duck Dog]

As the song goes, The lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

It's funny when strippers cry.


I have to admit it turned me on a little more knowing she was doing me for baby formula.

[Rain Man]

Just FYI, we were hiring for a logistical/marketing position a couple of months ago, and we get a resume from a woman who actually sent two versions of her resume:

First version - routine marketing resume for a new college grad

Second version - marketing resume that focused on her job as a stripper at a strip bar not far from my office. Contained phrases like "used marketing skills to increase customer drink orders" and "commission-based position".

I was ticked off when she didn't make the cut for interviews. I saw a lot of potential there.

[RaiderH8r]

I have to admit it turned me on a little more knowing she was doing me for baby formula.
I had no idea missing children could be so sexy.

[Duck Dog]

I had no idea missing children could be so sexy.


I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.

[4th and Long]

I was ticked off when she didn't make the cut for interviews. I saw a lot of potential there.
If memory serves, you own your own business. I believe you have to look no farther than yourself to see who's to blame that this women, with so much potential, did not make the cut.

[RaiderH8r]

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
That night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes....her name was Russell.

[Rain Man]

If memory serves, you own your own business. I believe you have to look no farther than yourself to see who's to blame that this women, with so much potential, did not make the cut.

Tragically, I learned that employee empowerment is a dual-edged sword.

[4th and Long]

Tragically, I learned that employee empowerment is a dual-edged sword.
OK but I think you missed out on a great opportunity here. Casual Friday's would have taken on a whole new meaning.

[Rain Man]

OK but I think you missed out on a great opportunity here. Casual Friday's would have taken on a whole new meaning.

And the Christmas party! I weep for what we lost in the Christmas party.


I never even got to find out if she was blonde, brunette, or a redhead, or if she was busty or willowy. It's like...it's like...I can't even talk about it.

[4th and Long]

And the Christmas party! I weep for what we lost in the Christmas party.
ROFL

True. You also missed out on the opportunity, once a year, to put up a <strike>stripper</strike> May Pole in your office.

[Rain Man]

And you can bet that I would have had a "dress like your last job" day on Halloween.

[BIG_DADDY]

And you can bet that I would have had a "dress like your last job" day on Halloween.

Dude, you can still salvage this. :drool: Think of what you may be missing.

You never know the last time I went to Reno I saw the hottest stripper I have ever seen in my life. The other strippers there must have hated her because she is all we wanted to talk to or have dance. I think most men would have followed her straight to hell if that's where she was going. It still amazes me that someone like that doesn't just go hook up with somebody who is loaded. She had enough looks to basically have whoever she wants.

[Rain Man]

Y'know, a great game would be some sort of game where you're the manager of a strip club. You'd have to manage work schedules so that you always have a good mix of strippers, you'd have to work with the bouncers to get rid of troublemakers, and then of course you'd have to find ways to keep the establishment legal in all respects, while also optimizing income. I'd buy it.

[Duck Dog]

That night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin, and baby blue eyes....her name was Russell.
ROFL

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

[BIG_DADDY]

There actually is a key to nailing strippers and it's called cocain. Bring a bullet to the bar later in the evening and give em a taste. If they know you have it and they get it for free you will get whatever you want. I never wanted to get busted so I never did it but I sure watched some friends consistantly close them like that. Fred used to always say he had a 50% chance of bringing one back like that. Every strip bar we went to he knew all of them too.

[siberian khatru]

Y'know, a great game would be some sort of game where you're the manager of a strip club. You'd have to manage work schedules so that you always have a good mix of strippers, you'd have to work with the bouncers to get rid of troublemakers, and then of course you'd have to find ways to keep the establishment legal in all respects, while also optimizing income. I'd buy it.

http://durtierice.250free.com/buyfordollar.jpg

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

[Bowser]

Man, f*ck California.

Haha. Smoker.

[Bowser]

And while strippers are the topic, what is the name of that song by Eminem, Nate Dogg, and that other guy? I always catch it like halfway through.

[Katipan]

I only know the...

"i hope you wont be mad at me but i told nate you was a freak i said you like to **** i hope you dont mind i told him how you like it from behind"

ha.

i so just wanted an excuse to post that.

[BIG_DADDY]

Man, f*ck California.

We have some stupid ass laws here. I remember when they said no more lap dances at a strip joint in San Mateo. The place was closed within 2 weeks. LAst time I went down to San Diego I read in the paper that they were trying to shut down having lap dances there too. Then there's places like SF where lets just say the private rooms aren't for nothing.

[BIG_DADDY]

They passed something in Scottsdale awhile back that said strippers gotta stay 4 ft from you. I have no idea if it's being enforced. I don't even remember the last time I went to a titty bar, actually.

Might as well be 4 miles away. I would never go to a place like that. The Crazy Horse in Vegas used to be very special. I went to the Crazy Horse in the city and left within 10 minutes telling them what a POS establishment they had there. If you ever come to SF you have to go to Mitchell Brothers. It used to be unbelievable but then again I haven't been there in the last 4 years. They had a stage that came out of the ground with top notch girls all licking each others pussies within a foot of your ****ing nose. It was a beautiful thing. :)

[Rain Man]

They passed something in Scottsdale awhile back that said strippers gotta stay 4 ft from you. I have no idea if it's being enforced. I don't even remember the last time I went to a titty bar, actually.

At first I thought you had destroyed my image of you. Then I recalled that you probably never remember your nights out.

[Bowser]

I only know the...

"i hope you wont be mad at me but i told nate you was a freak i said you like to **** i hope you dont mind i told him how you like it from behind"

ha.

i so just wanted an excuse to post that.

You're welcome.

[sedated]

wait...strippers want money?

[4th and Long]

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gif

[BIG_DADDY]

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gif

That's what our Chiefs Cheerleaders should look like. I still like the ol I support working mothers avatar Endo used to have.

[Duck Dog]

Way to fug up the thread.

[4th and Long]

You can wear it on your chest.

http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a330/a330.gif
Awesome. T-shirt hell kicks ass.

[BIG_DADDY]

You can wear it on your chest.

http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a330/a330.gif

Sweet, I gotta get one of those for the next trip to Vegas or Reno.

Just bought it, thanks ENDO. Damn no wonder they call it t-shirt hell those shirts are expensive as hell.

[teedubya]

I dated this stripper, that I didnt know was a stripper... who stopped being a stripper after I owned her vag... plus I inspired her to do something real with her life.

Then she told me that she had been a stripper... weird thing, those strippers.

[BIG_DADDY]

tshirthell should pay me a commission.

They certainly charge enough money to pay commissions. That's quite a money making racket they got themselves there. Probably costs them $3 to make that $18 tshirt. By the time I pay shipping it's $25 for that $3 T. For that price they should have a stripper deliver it.

[|Zach|]

i recently took a girl to a stripclub on a first date, when i tiped a stripper, she said " you two make an odd couple ". to which i responded "shut up'. to which my date laughed and told the stripper " DANCE MONKEY! DANCE! ".

---------
Niiice, here in town?

[blueballs]

the plan is working, they wil all become lesbos

[AustinChief]

Y'know, a great game would be some sort of game where you're the manager of a strip club. You'd have to manage work schedules so that you always have a good mix of strippers, you'd have to work with the bouncers to get rid of troublemakers, and then of course you'd have to find ways to keep the establishment legal in all respects, while also optimizing income. I'd buy it.


Kinda likea Sim-StripClub game... not a bad idea at all...

[BIG_DADDY]

Kinda likea Sim-StripClub game... not a bad idea at all...

Of course it would be a lot more fun to just own a real one with an apartment upstairs. :)

[Jenny Gump]

Maybe, I don't know strippers get all angry when the well dries up because the younger girls are getting it all now. They usually end up taking some sap down for the count for their retirement. I would most likely never marry a stripper although I have had two friends do it successfully so far. Both have two kids. Some strippers are cool it's just hard to find one that not all ****ed up in the head from years of partying their ass off. The stripper my buddy Adam married actually did put herself through school being a stripper and is now an ER nurse and makes bucks. He still worries about someone recognizing her from her past though as she stripped, put herself through school and now works all in Sacramento.

OMG, I know her. Are you kidding me? Adam's wife was a stripper?

[Jenny Gump]

http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gifhttp://img75.imageshack.us/img75/1253/foxywalk2jo.gif

You have the longest link I've ever seen.

[4th and Long]

You have the longest link I've ever seen.
I ... I ... wow, I'm embarrassed, and a little flattered that you noticed.

[MOhillbilly]

Niiice, here in town?


yeah, the first one west of the square.

[Mr. Plow]

I found this thread doing a search for "Disney World"....


i recently took a girl to a stripclub on a first date, when i tiped a stripper, she said " you two make an odd couple ". to which i responded "shut up'. to which my date laughed and told the stripper " DANCE MONKEY! DANCE! ".

---------


ROFL

[Adept Havelock]

This line will stick in my mind for a long time:

Dating a stripper is no different than trying to debate Nietzsche with a Dalmation.


ROFL

[Chief Henry]

Maybe, I don't know strippers get all angry when the well dries up because the younger girls are getting it all now. They usually end up taking some sap down for the count for their retirement. I would most likely never marry a stripper although I have had two friends do it successfully so far. Both have two kids. Some strippers are cool it's just hard to find one that not all ****ed up in the head from years of partying their ass off. The stripper my buddy Adam married actually did put herself through school being a stripper and is now an ER nurse and makes bucks. He still worries about someone recognizing her from her past though as she stripped, put herself through school and now works all in Sacramento.


What hospitial does she work at ?

[BIG_DADDY]

What hospitial does she work at ?

Kaiser in Sacramento. They just got a divorce.

[88TG88]

I found this thread doing a search for "Disney World"....





ROFL
liar

:p