View Full Version : Prison
jspchief
03-31-2006, 12:22 PM
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!!
SPchief
03-31-2006, 12:23 PM
heh
BIG_DADDY
03-31-2006, 12:23 PM
ROFL
chagrin
03-31-2006, 12:24 PM
ROFL ROFL
I AM LMAO at my desk, hilarious!!
greg63
03-31-2006, 12:25 PM
ROFL ROFL ROFL
StcChief
03-31-2006, 12:26 PM
Another oldie but goodie.
BigMeatballDave
03-31-2006, 12:38 PM
ROFL
Kerberos
03-31-2006, 12:40 PM
Another oldie but goodie.
Yup, read that one 8+years ago.
Still as funny reading it again :)
.
Yup, read that one 8+years ago.
Still as funny reading it again :)
.
First time I've read it. Good one.
MOhillbilly
03-31-2006, 12:45 PM
ROFLoh helllllllllllll no.ROFL
Kerberos
03-31-2006, 12:52 PM
Another oldie but goodie.
Confucius say:
Woman that put man in "DogHouse" soon find him in "CatHouse" !
Man who run in front of car get TIRED.
Man who run behind car get EXHAUSTED!
Woman who ride upside down in plane have CRACKUP!
Oldies but goodies!
:D
.
58-4ever
03-31-2006, 12:53 PM
A man walks into a bar and says: 5 shots of tequila!
He takes them one by one in a matter of seconds.
Bartender says: Man, what's the occasion?
Man says: I just experienced my first blow-job!
Bartender: Well, that's great, I'll buy your next shot.
Man: Thanks, but if those first 5 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't know what one more will do.
Confucius say:
Woman that put man in "DogHouse" soon find him in "CatHouse" !
Man who run in front of car get TIRED.
Man who run behind car get EXHAUSTED!
Woman who ride upside down in plane have CRACKUP!
Oldies but goodies!
:D
.
Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.
chagrin
03-31-2006, 12:58 PM
Confucius say:
Woman that put man in "DogHouse" soon find him in "CatHouse" !
Man who run in front of car get TIRED.
Man who run behind car get EXHAUSTED!
Woman who ride upside down in plane have CRACKUP!
Oldies but goodies!
:D
.
Oldies anyway
A man walks into a bar and says: 5 shots of tequila!
He takes them one by one in a matter of seconds.
Bartender says: Man, what's the occasion?
Man says: I just experienced my first blow-job!
Bartender: Well, that's great, I'll buy your next shot.
Man: Thanks, but if those first 5 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't know what one more will do.
ROFL
StcChief
03-31-2006, 01:10 PM
A man walks into a bar and says: 5 shots of tequila!
He takes them one by one in a matter of seconds.
Bartender says: Man, what's the occasion?
Man says: I just experienced my first blow-job!
Bartender: Well, that's great, I'll buy your next shot.
Man: Thanks, but if those first 5 shots don't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't know what one more will do.
I guess.....That's worse than (abridged quote)
My hands smell like 'bull semen'
:rolleyes:
kaplin42
03-31-2006, 01:59 PM
Confucius say:
Man who stick his D!ck in peanut butter is F@cking nuts!!!
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