Had to spank my four-year old today.

[Braincase]

Teacher told me yesterday that my son was being aggressive around some of the other kids. I talked to him last night about it, he said other kids were starting it, and told him to use his words first, then tell a teacher, but you don't go pushing other kids because you're not getting your way or getting to play with a toy.

Today, I guess he hauled off and punched another kid in the stomach.

So, we got home, I pulled down his pants and gave him a swat.

He knows I'm mad. I've told him time and time again that we aren't bullies and I won't have any of my kids growing up to be bullies. Bullies are the lowest type of human being on this earth.

I got all my kids around the dinner table and talked to them. I said there's three kinds of people in this world - those that pick on people, the people that get picked on and then there's the people that stand up to the bullies and defend those that are getting picked on.

I told 'em about fights. It's OK to run away. Talk your way out of it. Tell an adult. But if you have no choice and they hit you first, defend yourself, wad up your little fist and punch them right in the nose.

OK.. what did I do wrong here...?

[Adept Havelock]

Not a damn thing. Rep.

Teaching them to be the "third type" of person is one of the best lessons anyone can teach their kid, IMO.

[Saulbadguy]

OK.. what did I do wrong here...?
You didn't call GEICO to ask about their great car insurance rates.

[Skip Towne]

I'd get the kid an Uzi.

[Vegas_Dave]

Give him a beer and tell him to be a man.

[SquirrellyBastard]

Tell him to sack-up and smack the kid like his future wife...

[hypersensitiveZO6]

I wouldn't tell him to run away. When kid's are that age the best thing they can do is tell the teacher. I also wouldn't spank him. He watches you hit him and wonders why he is getting spanked for hitting someone else. I think the best discipline for a 4 year old is to take away a privelage.

[Lancetastic]

You told him not to hit, then proceeded to hit him.

[hypersensitiveZO6]

exacty.

[milkman]

You told him not to hit, then proceeded to hit him.

Give me a break.

Children, even at his age, understand the difference between dicipline and aggression.

[Braincase]

I wouldn't tell him to run away. When kid's are that age the best thing they can do is tell the teacher. I also wouldn't spank him. He watches you hit him and wonders why he is getting spanked for hitting someone else. I think the best discipline for a 4 year old is to take away a privelage.

Did that yesterday. Time out, no desert, went to bed early. Still slugged the kid today.

One thing that is important to me is making it clear that I won't be manipulated. I punished him, he forgot the lesson , so today I made sure that he learned. Level 2 didn't work, so I went to Level 3. I'm not going to hang out at Level 2 indefinitely. I needed to make a clear statement about what I will and will not put up with.

[Iowanian]

I think its admirable to try to teach your kid to be a good citizen, and to stick up for others.

I agree with teaching your kid to try to avoid a fight, and I agree with spanking them for something like that.

I don't agree with teaching him to run from confrontation, but can understand that others don't think the way I do.

There are lots of things about being a parent that aren't easy, if you're doing the job right.

[ChiefsCountry]

I know I would have gotten spanked if I pulled something like that. Probally would have gotten the belt, you learn real quick after that.

[Chiefs Express]

Teacher told me yesterday that my son was being aggressive around some of the other kids. I talked to him last night about it, he said other kids were starting it, and told him to use his words first, then tell a teacher, but you don't go pushing other kids because you're not getting your way or getting to play with a toy.

Today, I guess he hauled off and punched another kid in the stomach.

So, we got home, I pulled down his pants and gave him a swat.

He knows I'm mad. I've told him time and time again that we aren't bullies and I won't have any of my kids growing up to be bullies. Bullies are the lowest type of human being on this earth.

I got all my kids around the dinner table and talked to them. I said there's three kinds of people in this world - those that pick on people, the people that get picked on and then there's the people that stand up to the bullies and defend those that are getting picked on.

I told 'em about fights. It's OK to run away. Talk your way out of it. Tell an adult. But if you have no choice and they hit you first, defend yourself, wad up your little fist and punch them right in the nose.

OK.. what did I do wrong here...?

What you did wrong was to put this up on the bb.

Don't be surprised if someone calls child services and turns you in.

BTW, what is a 4 year old doing in school? Let him grow up first, you know, like you got to.

[BucEyedPea]

I use a Justice Bench!

Spanking is fine...not against it....
.....so long as you have all sides of the story and there is justice.

Sometimes seeing someone hit someone at the tail end of a situation doesn't tell the whole story and some kids do provoke and torment. I'm not still saying your son has a right to hit as a way to handle others but it may be necessary (if the facts show this) to correct what some others may be doing ALSO.

I don't know if that's the case.

I guess I just have something on it as my Dad would whip me hard even with a belt....and I was falsely accused more than once of something I didn't do. I grew up hatin' him most of my life for it.

[Sandyskc]

You did well. Parenting is the hardest job I know. Keep up the good work.

[BucEyedPea]

Did that yesterday. Time out, no desert, went to bed early. Still slugged the kid today.

One thing that is important to me is making it clear that I won't be manipulated. I punished him, he forgot the lesson , so today I made sure that he learned. Level 2 didn't work, so I went to Level 3. I'm not going to hang out at Level 2 indefinitely. I needed to make a clear statement about what I will and will not put up with.

I didn't see this before my first post.

This tells me something else is also going on.
Ask him, with the dignity of a person, "Hey what's happening at school?" Let him talk about it. Don't evaluate or use make guilty mechanisms...just listen and acknowledge what he said. You may ask him if he did anything else he shouldn't be doing too. He may deny it...but be light and try to get it if you can.

Also,if you spend time with him, his own time with you where he picks what to do even if for just twenty minutes helps with out of control behavior. Don't forget any attention, even bad attention is better than no attention. I did that with my daughter at the age and it worked everytime. Give them some time with you.

Oh and if you do still have to spank doing it calmly and quietly....tell them you have to give him a punishment.

[BucEyedPea]

I know I would have gotten spanked if I pulled something like that. Probally would have gotten the belt, you learn real quick after that.


That depends on the person though too.

I was very strong willed and all it did for me is 'cause me to run away at ages 12, 13 and 14 and after that never talk to my Dad again.

Now my older sister would wind up just sneaking and lying to escape punishement etc...which I refused to do.

[Braincase]

What you did wrong was to put this up on the bb.

Don't be surprised if someone calls child services and turns you in.

BTW, what is a 4 year old doing in school? Let him grow up first, you know, like you got to.

The daycare/preschool my son goes to is pretty reputable in Lawrence. My wife works fulltime, I work fulltime. If I were a stay at home parent, I'd still prefer he were in this program - that's where the other kids are. I wouldn't want my kid staying home all day when there are no other kids his age in the neighborhood. He's learning some social skills at daycare, as well as other important skills. (Napoleon Dynamite setup here)

I grew up with a bunch of other kids my age in the neighborhood.

[BucEyedPea]

That's true...there aren't any other kids at home anymore. I was working at home part-time and I noticed there were no kids around...so I did part day-care for the same reason.

If you don't mind though...when I did work a lot some weeks in row and went full-time mine got a bit outo of control...so I cut my hours back and it handled it. Try to make up for it by giving him a block of time at night just for him.Try it. See how it works....you'll be surprised.

[ChiTown]

BC

I tell my kids the same thing. My oldest son is a big kid for his age. He could easily use that to his advantage (in a bad way). Instead, he sticks up for kids that get picked on. I absolutely love that about him.

Kudo's for teaching him to stick up for those that can't do it for themselves.

[Iowanian]

Don't listen to the no-spank candy asses.

Next time he's lippy, pull a fake string on your hand like you're starting a chainsaw and say "Boy do you need a boost" and then go "Wnnnn nnn nn nnnnnn"

[Braincase]

That's true...there aren't any other kids at home anymore. I was working at home part-time and I noticed there were no kids around...so I did part day-care for the same reason.

If you don't mind though...when I did work a lot some weeks in row and went full-time mine got a bit outo of control...so I cut my hours back and it handled it. Try to make up for it by giving him a block of time at night just for him.Try it. See how it works....you'll be surprised.

I spend 5-8:30 with my kids just about every night. Dinner as a family, snuggling on the couch from 6:30 on watching either Science Channel, Animal Planet, or other decent show, sometimes a movie. I do better than average in my own estimation. Last night went swimming for two hours.

I'm a pretty good dad in my own estimation. I have no desire to hurt my child, bu the situation required an exclamation point. We talked about it yesterday, as we ave talked before, but this time I think the situation required swift consequences to make a point.

[Simplex3]

You told him not to hit, then proceeded to hit him.
Spoken like someone without kids -OR- someone who's kids misbehave a lot.

Corporal punishment works miracles when used in extreme moderation. My 4 year old has been spanked maybe 3 times in her life, and every time I did she knew it was serious. By giving her an occasional swat I'm not teaching her to be violent, I'm letting her know I'm dead serious and I'm not going to put up with what she just did. I only whip it out on two occasions:

1. She hasn't responded to other punishments on this issue.
2. It is imperative to her safety she get it right now.

[Simplex3]

Ask him, with the dignity of a person...
Damn hippies. :shake:

[Braincase]

I know one ting. He won't hit another kid tomorrow. He needs to ask the other kid to forgive him.

[stevieray]

The hardest thing and the right thing are usually the same thing.

You did good, BC, you doled out the punishment, now follow up with love.

[Fat Elvis]

Ha! Ha!

You're sooooo fooked now. My wife is a social worker and I'm gonna narc you out.

BTW, which daycare do you use? Raintree?

[Braincase]

The hardest thing and the right thing are usually the same thing.

You did good, BC, you doled out the punishment, now follow up with love.

When I put him to bed, I told him that I forgive him, I thanked him for being my son, and I told him he needed to ask the boy he for forgiveness as well.

Sometimes the job ain't easy, but you gotta do the best you can. I'm not gonna be the best dad in the world... but maybe someday he will be if I do my job right.

[Braincase]

Ha! Ha!

You're sooooo fooked now. My wife is a social worker and I'm gonna narc you out.

BTW, which daycare do you use? Raintree?

Yeah... and Jolene's kid plays with my kid...time for kung fu...

[stevieray]

When I put him to bed, I told him that I forgive him, I thanked him for being my son, and I told him he needed to ask the boy he for forgiveness as well.

Sometimes the job ain't easy, but you gotta do the best you can. I'm not gonna be the best dad in the world... but maybe someday he will be if I do my job right.

Very cool.

remember that phrase I told you the night of the banquet?

[Braincase]

Very cool.

remember that phrase I told you the night of the banquet?

It's deeply entrenched in my subconscious...and I haven't been drinking enough to recall tonigh.

[Fat Elvis]

Yeah... and Jolene's kid plays with my kid...time for kung fu...


Laurel does Tae Kwon Do....

She's pretty intense when she's sparring.

[ChiefsFanatic]

Bullies are the lowest type of human being on this earth.

I am gonna go with murderers, rapists, child molesters, racists and terrorists as the lowest type of human beings.

[Simplex3]

I am gonna go with murderers, rapists, child molesters, racists and terrorists as the lowest type of human beings.
What do you think bullies do when they grow up? Extort milk money at the office?

[Braincase]

I am gonna go with murderers, rapists, child molesters, racists and terrorists as the lowest type of human beings.

All variants on the bully theme.

[BucEyedPea]

Damn hippies. :shake:
Maybe that's what made me one?

I'm the furthest thing from a Hippie and said I was not against spanking so long as it's just. Just means the right thing for the situation. And I have spanked my little girl BOZO!!! Not often but I have.

Braincase,
You sound like a great Dad. I'd rather you do what you did than nothing at all.
I didn't have all the facts...so I was speculating.

There's this thing called "Own Time" where the kid picks the activity one-on-one with you, and you do whatever he/she wants (unless not safe or s/g. It was a tip I got from a professional. My kid loved it...but I only have one...and you have so many.

[Simplex3]

I'm the furthest thing from a Hippie and said I was not against spanking so long as it's just. Just means the right thing for the situation. And I have spanked my little girl BOZO!!! Not often but I have.

Relax Moonbeam.

.

[Braincase]

Maybe that's what made me one?

I'm the furthest thing from a Hippie and said I was not against spanking so long as it's just. Just means the right thing for the situation. And I have spanked my little girl BOZO!!! Not often but I have.

Braincase,
You sound like a great Dad. I'd rather you do what you did than nothing at all.
I didn't have all the facts...so I was speculating.

There's this thing called "Own Time" where the kid picks the activity one-on-one with you, and you do whatever he/she wants (unless not safe or s/g. It was a tip I got from a professional. My kid loved it...but I only have one...and you have so many.

We play dinosaurs, and he helps me in the garage building guitars... e gets to run the glue. We do alright. Need to get out fishing more.

[BucEyedPea]

Relax Moonbeam.



ROFL ....again?


"Never be afraid to try something new."

[Simplex3]

ROFL ....again?


"Never be afraid to try something new."
It seemed to work the first time. :shrug:

http://nanopedia.case.edu/image/haight-hippie.jpg

[BucEyedPea]

That you calling for Peace! You're a cutie!
BTW I am a lady not a man.


Remember, amateurs built the ark. ROFL

[Simplex3]

BTW I am a lady not a man.
That's what they all say.

[BucEyedPea]

I'm a mommy....I related to this thread so posted.

[Simplex3]

I'm a mommy....I related to this thread so posted.
Obviously you aren't an English teacher, huh?

[Simplex3]

I'm a mommy....I related to this thread so posted.
On a serious note, can you explain your name? You a Bucs fan?

[BucEyedPea]

http://fanviews.com/bbs/html/emoticons/troll.gif

[Skip Towne]

That you calling for Peace! You're a cutie!
BTW I am a lady not a man.


Remember, amateurs built the ark. ROFL
Well, damn, a woman n00b. My2 favorite things all wrapped up in one.

[Simplex3]

Well, damn, a woman n00b. My2 favorite things all wrapped up in one.
Kick her ass, Seabass.

[milkman]

Well, damn, a woman n00b. My2 favorite things all wrapped up in one.

I bet nobody saw this coming.

[Jenny Gump]

Don't mind Skip. He might try to run you down with his power wheelchair, but if he catches you, he won't be able to remember why he was chasing you.

[Skip Towne]

Don't mind Skip. He might try to run you down with his power wheelchair, but if he catches you, he won't be able to remember why he was chasing you.
Hey, Jenny, ya gettin any?

[Jenny Gump]

Hey, Jenny, ya gettin any?

In general? Or at this very second?

[listopencil]

If you can get a day off during school, go to school with the kid. Follow him around the entire day. Don't let him out of your site. I believe you have to notify the school and his teachers but they should have absolutely no problem with this and will probably greatly appreciate it given the situation. Then, when you guys get home, tell him you are going to keep doing it if he doesn't stop being a bully. I promise you this will work. I'm not against spanking kids when they are at a certain age range but I always try to find some other way first with mine and I bet you are trying to do the same thing.

[greg63]

If you can get a day off during school, go to school with the kid. Follow him around the entire day. Don't let him out of your site. I believe you have to notify the school and his teachers but they should have absolutely no problem with this and will probably greatly appreciate it given the situation. Then, when you guys get home, tell him you are going to keep doing it if he doesn't stop being a bully. I promise you this will work. I'm not against spanking kids when they are at a certain age range but I always try to find some other way first with mine and I bet you are trying to do the same thing.
Excellent advice; this too worked with my kids except all I had to do was threaten to do it. Another thing is don't allow disagreement with a teacher to occur in front of your child; I think it is important to present a united front. I'm not saying that you should always agree with them just not in front of your kids. If you do have a disagreement with a teacher then after it is resolved explain to you kids that after speaking with the teacher what were decided, giving the circumstances.

[ChiefaRoo]

You told him not to hit, then proceeded to hit him.


Proper spanking is NOT hitting.

[luv]

You told him not to hit, then proceeded to hit him.
Spanking does not equal hitting.

Before spanking a child, you need to make sure that they understand what they are being spanked for. I also believe, that, after spanking them, you need to let them know that you love them. You may not like what they did because it was wrong, but you love them.

A good rule of thumb that a couple that I used to babysit for had; they only spanked their children if they were knowingly being defiant. Otherwise, they would add chores or take away privileges. You told your son what to do if it happened again, and he defied it.

[greg63]

Spanking does not equal hitting.

Before spanking a child, you need to make sure that they understand what they are being spanked for. I also believe, that, after spanking them, you need to let them know that you love them. You may not like what they did because it was wrong, but you love them.

A good rule of thumb that a couple that I used to babysit for had; they only spanked their children if they were knowingly being defiant. Otherwise, they would add chores or take away privileges. You told your son what to do if it happened again, and he defied it.


:thumb:

A paddling on the most padded part of my body did not harm me in any way physically or psychologically.

[teedubya]

www.screamfree.com

ScreamFree Parenting... guy has some great insight.

[Fat Elvis]

www.screamfree.com

ScreamFree Parenting... guy has some great insight.


Hal Edward Runkel, Chief Visionary Officer

I think ol' Hal would last about five minutes here at Graceland.

[Hammock Parties]

Only one swat?

[Fat Elvis]

that guy is a hoot.

One of the testimonials....

If only my parents had known about ScreamFree when they were raising me. I would be saving a ton of money in therapy right now!

C.M.


ROFL

[Pants]

BTW, what is a 4 year old doing in school? Let him grow up first, you know, like you got to.

Whaa? The best way to grow up for any kid is to be around other kids. What you said is just stupidly wrong.

[Hammock Parties]

I didn't go to school until I was 5.

[Pants]

I didn't go to school until I was 5.

And that's why you're f*cked up.

[Hammock Parties]

And that's why you're f*cked up.

No, I'm f*cked up for a variety of other reasons.

[Pants]

No, I'm f*cked up for a variety of other reasons.

Maybe. However, my point still stand and it pertains to you. Look at home schooled kids for extreme examples.

[Demonpenz]

I am mad i turned my parents against the teachers.

[chagrin]

You're a cutie!
BTW I am a lady not a man.


Release the Kraken!!

[Lzen]

What you did wrong was to put this up on the bb.

Don't be surprised if someone calls child services and turns you in.

BTW, what is a 4 year old doing in school? Let him grow up first, you know, like you got to.


Gimme a freakin' break. It is not against the law to discipline your kids with a belt. And preschool is good for kids. They learn social skills mostly, but that helps them when they get into regular school. And trust me, I know all about this through experience. My 4 year old daughter is in preschool and I have 2 boys that went through Creative Play(not really preschool, but similar).

[MOhillbilly]

my parents always told me to take care of my own problems from a time i can remember.
So id have a problem and punch some kids face in.
id get introuble sent home where id be told its not ok to strike.
then proceed to get my ass whiped.
Then id go to school and punch kick hit smack someone again.
get a whipen.
take care of your own problems matt us parents dont want to hear about it.
punch kick smack
take a whipen.
It got to the point where i didnt care. iwas gonna take a beatin regardless(either at home at school or both whatever).
The point is as a parent dont send mixed messages about violence.
Just like in the real world mean what you say and say what you mean.
Firm but Fair.

[Brock]

I'd be careful about teaching your kid not to fight unless he gets hit first. That's just me.

[Braincase]

I'd be careful about teaching your kid not to fight unless he gets hit first. That's just me.


Brock, you and I haven't met, but I'll fill in a couple of details. I'm the runt in my family at 6'2" 280. My brothers are 6'5" and 6'7" - Dan was Kansas Heavyweight Armwrestling Champ, he quit because he got tired of hearing other guys elbows pop. Tom (6'7") benches 400 lbs and has the fastest hands on any man his size I have ever seen. Saw five guys corner him in the parking lot of a night club and he through 5 shots, and 5 guys went down. Only two times he's lost fights were to football teams.

One thing I'm pretty confident about is the ability of the males in my family to absorb the first shot...so long as it's not a baseball bat.

My wife is 4 inches taller than my mother, so there's a reasonable chance my son might end up 6'3" or better, the kind of kid that might get a chance to play football at the Div. I level. He has to be disciplined with his emotions, lest he end up putting some poor kid in the hospital when he's in HS or College.

[Mr. Kotter]

As the father of 10, 7, 4, and 3 year olds....you did the right thing, BC. Bravo. :clap:

The cuddling and touching moments you can have with your kids after a couple of firm, not violent, swats on the butt.....can be one of the best parts of parenting, for both parties.

[Lzen]

Brock, you and I haven't met, but I'll fill in a couple of details. I'm the runt in my family at 6'2" 280. My brothers are 6'5" and 6'7" - Dan was Kansas Heavyweight Armwrestling Champ, he quit because he got tired of hearing other guys elbows pop. Tom (6'7") benches 400 lbs and has the fastest hands on any man his size I have ever seen. Saw five guys corner him in the parking lot of a night club and he through 5 shots, and 5 guys went down. Only two times he's lost fights were to football teams.

One thing I'm pretty confident about is the ability of the males in my family to absorb the first shot...so long as it's not a baseball bat.

My wife is 4 inches taller than my mother, so there's a reasonable chance my son might end up 6'3" or better, the kind of kid that might get a chance to play football at the Div. I level. He has to be disciplined with his emotions, lest he end up putting some poor kid in the hospital when he's in HS or College.

Holy cow!! :eek: What's your last name? Goliath?

[chagrin]

Tom (6'7") benches 400 lbs and has the fastest hands on any man his size I have ever seen.

Shawn Kemp would disagree

[chagrin]

As the father of 10, 7, 4, and 3 year olds...

Ya figure out what causes that yet?

[Braincase]

Shawn Kemp would disagree

Kemp has demonstrated incredible handspeed when there are burgers and fries in the house, no doubt.

Unfortunately, he demonstrated poor speed when he tried to put on a condom.

[Braincase]

Holy cow!! :eek: What's your last name? Goliath?

Nope. I just thing that bigger people have to exercise more restraint. There have been times I'd have loved to knock the snot out of some mouthy sawed off runt, but it turns into a no win situation. You put up with it, and you look like a coward, you pummell him into the groud, you look like a bully. Best bet... learn to run smack with the best of 'em, and be prepared when those banty roosters get pushed over the edge.

I've walked away from a lot of fights. But when a situation arises and I've been left alone with my tormentor, and all his friends are doing something else, I tend to discuss the situation and clarify my position. The person in question tends to back pedal pretty quick.

[Inspector]

I have raised 5 sons who are now young men (20's and 30's). I am currently extremely invoved with helping raise 4 (currently) grankids.

One thing I have learned is no 2 kids are alike and often you have to develop techniques to dealing with them on an individual basis. What works for one parent and their kid may not have the same effect for another.

Rest assured that while you will probably make some mistakes over the years (cause every parent does) feel confident that your kids will be great because you love them and show them a great balance between the love and the discipline. I can tell by your posts here that you are doing a great job.

Good luck. When they get in their teens is where the real fun and expense kick in, not to mention young adulthood. Get ready, it's happening faster than you think.......

[Braincase]

Good luck. When they get in their teens is where the real fun and expense kick in, not to mention young adulthood. Get ready, it's happening faster than you think.......

Yep... my nine-year old daughter is starting to undergo some growing up. Seems like yesterday she was learning to crawl.

[chiefs4me]

First off all, if you don't have kids and you responded with a lecture to braincase you can shut up now, you have no clue.......second, having 3 sons myself, you did just fine, remember people, he said a swat....a swat..not a beating, or whipping or hitting the child, a swat..:rolleyes:

[CoMoChief]

It's not OK to runaway, unless they have a gun or something rediculous like that. Running away constitutes as someone being a pussy. Youre right in the fact that he needs to use words rather than fists, but if it comes to a fight dont tell him to run away. If he kicks someones ass who deserves it, then so be it. The only problem with that is a kid that young doesnt know when a kid really deserves it. Not only that but now a days many schools use the policy that they both get suspended regardless of who started it or what the situation is. But bullying is wrong and you should spank his ass with a paddle or something to make sure he remembers to not bully around other kids at school.

[BucEyedPea]

Yep... my nine-year old daughter is starting to undergo some growing up. Seems like yesterday she was learning to crawl.

Isn't it amazing. It's like living in a time warp...and they develop so much younger too! S-c-a-a-a-a-ry!

BTw at my girl's preschool there was a bruiser of a boy who used to defend her against the bullies...as she was petite and shy. It was really cute and noble. Don't know where they learn that stuff so young...like age 2!

[Mile High Mania]

It's not OK to runaway, unless they have a gun or something rediculous like that. Running away constitutes as someone being a pussy. Youre right in the fact that he needs to use words rather than fists, but if it comes to a fight dont tell him to run away. If he kicks someones ass who deserves it, then so be it. The only problem with that is a kid that young doesnt know when a kid really deserves it. Not only that but now a days many schools use the policy that they both get suspended regardless of who started it or what the situation is. But bullying is wrong and you should spank his ass with a paddle or something to make sure he remembers to not bully around other kids at school.

That's one of the craziest and inconsistent things I've read in a while.

"Son, if you run from a bully... you're a pussy. Well, strike that. Run if he has a gun or a judo stick, but if you can talk yourself out of it cool. If not, then yeah.. kick his ass. They're going to suspend you both anyway. Oh and know that I'll beat your ass with a paddle when you get home, that way you'll never forget not to fight. But, at least you won't be a pussy."

[Skip Towne]

Isn't it amazing. It's like living in a time warp...and they develop so much younger too! S-c-a-a-a-a-ry!

BTw at my girl's preschool there was a bruiser of a boy who used to defend her against the bullies...as she was petite and shy. It was really cute and noble. Don't know where they learn that stuff so young...like age 2!
My guess is the bruiser is trying to get him some.

[CrazyHorse]

Teacher told me yesterday that my son was being aggressive around some of the other kids. I talked to him last night about it, he said other kids were starting it, and told him to use his words first, then tell a teacher, but you don't go pushing other kids because you're not getting your way or getting to play with a toy.

Today, I guess he hauled off and punched another kid in the stomach.

So, we got home, I pulled down his pants and gave him a swat.

He knows I'm mad. I've told him time and time again that we aren't bullies and I won't have any of my kids growing up to be bullies. Bullies are the lowest type of human being on this earth.

I got all my kids around the dinner table and talked to them. I said there's three kinds of people in this world - those that pick on people, the people that get picked on and then there's the people that stand up to the bullies and defend those that are getting picked on.

I told 'em about fights. It's OK to run away. Talk your way out of it. Tell an adult. But if you have no choice and they hit you first, defend yourself, wad up your little fist and punch them right in the nose.

OK.. what did I do wrong here...?

I wont contend that I know how to raise children better than anyone else. However, I will share my way of handling the same situation when my son was young.

1st, a child that age hitting another child does not mean the same thing it does to you and I. In no way is it right, or acceptable. However, it doesn't carry the anger nor same message as if you or I were to punch someone.

To hit a child and tell him hitting someone is wrong could send a mixed signal. It also gives him the opportunity to get angry with you and you will have less credibility talking to a child that is angry at you. However, if you can maintain your emotions and address it in a matter of fact way, your words will have more impact, and the message has a better chance of getting through.

If he is defending himself from the other child starting a fight, seperate them and let him understand that if hits others it should only be because he has no way of walking away. Similar to the message you told him.

If he is the aggressor for reasons that wasn't self defense, then I would have him do something he struggles to do. If that means missing out on a family event like ice cream, or sitting in a chair next to the TV so he cannot watch it and face the rest of the family as they watch it.

If that dont work, bust his ass. Raising kids isn't an exact science. LOL

Sometime we are just flying by the seat of our pants. Love him in what ever you do and most things have a way of taking care of themselves. You just cant be mad when you react.

Dad has to be under control.

Good luck.

[Skip Towne]

I wont contend that I know how to raise children better than anyone else. However, I will share my way of handling the same situation when my son was young.

1st, a child that age hitting another child does not mean the same thing it does to you and I. In no way is it right, or acceptable. However, it doesn't carry the anger nor same message as if you or I were to punch someone.

To hit a child and tell him hitting someone is wrong could send a mixed signal. It also gives him the opportunity to get angry with you and you will have less credibility talking to a child that is angry at you. However, if you can maintain your emotions and address it in a matter of fact way, your words will have more impact, and the message has a better chance of getting through.

If he is defending himself from the other child starting a fight, seperate them and let him understand that if hits others it should only be because he has no way of walking away. Similar to the message you told him.

If he is the aggressor for reasons that wasn't self defense, then I would have him do something he struggles to do. If that means missing out on a family event like ice cream, or sitting in a chair next to the TV so he cannot watch it and face the rest of the family as they watch it.

If that dont work, bust his ass. Raising kids isn't an exact science. LOL

Sometime we are just flying by the seat of our pants. Love him in what ever you do and most things have a way of taking care of themselves. You just cant be mad when you react.

Dad has to be under control.

Good luck.
What? You are in serious need of help with your written communications. You're a MUron aren't you?

[BucEyedPea]

My guess is the bruiser is trying to get him some.


Are you a pedophile or just a perv-in-general? ROFL

[greg63]

What? You are in serious need of help with your written communications. You're a MUron aren't you?


ROFLROFLROFL

[luv]

First off all, if you don't have kids and you responded with a lecture to braincase you can shut up now, you have no clue.......second, having 3 sons myself, you did just fine, remember people, he said a swat....a swat..not a beating, or whipping or hitting the child, a swat..:rolleyes:
I may not have kids, but I used to take care of small children a lot, including nieces and nephews. You can shut up now.

[Dunit35]

I may not have kids, but I used to take care of small children a lot, including nieces and nephews. You can shut up now.


Get her luv!

[CrazyHorse]

What? You are in serious need of help with your written communications. You're a MUron aren't you?

I guess so. Let me be the 1st to admit to you that my response was poorly communicated. I had a bit of a buzz and probably shouldn't have been giving my opinion to anyone.

What all the jibberish meant was that trying to teach someone not to hit by using a swat on the rear could send the wrong message.

I'm not saying a swat on the tail isn't an effective deterent because I did it to my son. But if your trying to teach him that hitting is wrong, then it was maybe a bad time to use it as a way to communicate your point.

My son is 19. He's a great guy, but I have a few bad decisions invested in him. So what do I know? I could be completely wrong here.

But sitting them all down in the end and teaching them right and wrong in that situation was a good thing. It took a negative situation and turned it into a positive opportunity for the group. Anytime you can do that, you are on the right track.

You did fine in my opinion. If you did screw it up the kids life is ruined forever. ;)

[Braincase]

Report from daycare yesterday - he was more in control of his emotions and there were no more problems.

To those that say telling a child not to hit, and then hitting them - that was never the message and he and I were clear on that. The message was this "I told you not to do something. We talked about it, and you said you wouldn't do that again. You did it again, and there are consequences for your actions".

To those that say telling him to run away from a fight was the wrong thing to do, I still disagree. I know more than a few guys that felt the need "to be the man" and got shot, stabbed, or jumped by the opposition and all of his buddies. I've known four guys that got murdered, had a friend lose a brother when some jerk stomped on his neck. I pray to god you guys don't have to figure out why running away is ok the way I did. It's rather disheartening seeing a knife sticking out of your own brother's chest. (No pun intended).

So, BSPimpDude, I'd rather my son were a live pussy than a dead warrior.

[Hammock Parties]

Just show him The Empire Strikes Back.

"Luke, don't give in to hate! That leads to the dark side!"

[CrazyHorse]

Report from daycare yesterday - he was more in control of his emotions and there were no more problems.

To those that say telling a child not to hit, and then hitting them - that was never the message and he and I were clear on that. The message was this "I told you not to do something. We talked about it, and you said you wouldn't do that again. You did it again, and there are consequences for your actions".

To those that say telling him to run away from a fight was the wrong thing to do, I still disagree. I know more than a few guys that felt the need "to be the man" and got shot, stabbed, or jumped by the opposition and all of his buddies. I've known four guys that got murdered, had a friend lose a brother when some jerk stomped on his neck. I pray to god you guys don't have to figure out why running away is ok the way I did. It's rather disheartening seeing a knife sticking out of your own brother's chest. (No pun intended).

So, BSPimpDude, I'd rather my son were a live pussy than a dead warrior.

I can walk away from a fight and feel like the better man. If a person cannot do that, it's a weakness.

People are definately more dangerous today than they were back in my day. Fighting was common amongst the guys when I was in school. But the fight was a scrap. Today kids just shoot each other. It's not the same.

[cadmonkey]

I had to spank my 30 year old old last night. She was being naughty :p

[greg63]

Report from daycare yesterday - he was more in control of his emotions and there were no more problems.

To those that say telling a child not to hit, and then hitting them - that was never the message and he and I were clear on that. The message was this "I told you not to do something. We talked about it, and you said you wouldn't do that again. You did it again, and there are consequences for your actions".

To those that say telling him to run away from a fight was the wrong thing to do, I still disagree. I know more than a few guys that felt the need "to be the man" and got shot, stabbed, or jumped by the opposition and all of his buddies. I've known four guys that got murdered, had a friend lose a brother when some jerk stomped on his neck. I pray to god you guys don't have to figure out why running away is ok the way I did. It's rather disheartening seeing a knife sticking out of your own brother's chest. (No pun intended).

So, BSPimpDude, I'd rather my son were a live pussy than a dead warrior.

Agreed, don't confuse wisdom with cowardice.

[Mile High Mania]

I'm hoping my kids use my philosophy as a child... be smart and have close friends that are bigger than you. Honestly, between the ages of 10 and 30... I may have been presented with a dozen real opportunities for a fight to break out and it only happened once. And, that wasn't even a big deal.

Use common sense, talk the situation down and walk away... however on the flipside of that, if either of my sons finds their sister in a bad situation, then by all means... whip the guy's ass and there will be no punishment. :p

[Braincase]

I'm hoping my kids use my philosophy as a child... be smart and have close friends that are bigger than you. Honestly, between the ages of 10 and 30... I may have been presented with a dozen real opportunities for a fight to break out and it only happened once. And, that wasn't even a big deal.

Use common sense, talk the situation down and walk away... however on the flipside of that, if either of my sons finds their sister in a bad situation, then by all means... whip the guy's ass and there will be no punishment. :p

The chivalric code is alive and well in my household... but looking at my daughters (both the tallest kids in their classes), I'm thinking they can take a stand for the little guy as well.

And if worse comes to worst, I can always talk with another kids dad... and scare the shit out of him :) . (J/K)

[Mile High Mania]

And if worse comes to worst, I can always talk with another kids dad... and scare the shit out of him :) . (J/K)

Heh, in my study behind my desk I am going to have a framed aerial photo of a vacant lot with a hole. I'm going to ask the boy that plans on taking my daughter out on the date, "Do you happen to know where this little piece of heaven is?"

And, when he replies with "No."

I'm going to let him know that few do, so don't **** up.

[CrazyHorse]

Heh, in my study behind my desk I am going to have a framed aerial photo of a vacant lot with a hole. I'm going to ask the boy that plans on taking my daughter out on the date, "Do you happen to know where this little piece of heaven is?"

And, when he replies with "No."

I'm going to let him know that few do, so don't **** up.

That didn't stop you, did it?

[harpes]

I remember my Moms first talk about fighting. "Never fight unless your sure to win

[chiefs4me]

I may not have kids, but I used to take care of small children a lot, including nieces and nephews. You can shut up now.






You shut the **** up.........babysitting is not the same thing at all.....Until you have been a parent, you have no clue.......:harumph:

[Skip Towne]

Are you a pedophile or just a perv-in-general? ROFL
Shut up, n00b.

[Skip Towne]

You shut the **** up.........babysitting is not the same thing at all.....Until you have been a parent, you have no clue.......:harumph:
Who are you runnin' off now, Threadwrecker?

[4th and Long]

You shut the **** up.........babysitting is not the same thing at all.....Until you have been a parent, you have no clue.......:harumph:
Wow. Just ... wow. Totally uncalled for.

[chiefs4me]

Wow. Just ... wow. Totally uncalled for.








Not really......:rolleyes: She responded to something I had said to the other idiots on this board that replied to this thread about spanking children when they don't even have any......she told me to shut up, do you really expect me to not say the same back to her......I don't think so.....:harumph:

[chiefs4me]

Who are you runnin' off now, Threadwrecker?






YOU.........ROFL

[luv]

Not really......:rolleyes: She responded to something I had said to the other idiots on this board that replied to this thread about spanking children when they don't even have any......she told me to shut up, do you really expect me to not say the same back to her......I don't think so.....:harumph:
You told anyone who didn't have kids to shut up. I am included in that generalization. I happened to agree with spanking kids. Not as a first resort, and not for just anything, but I did agree that he did the right thing. I just didn't respond well to being generalized like that.

[4th and Long]

You told anyone who didn't have kids to shut up. I am included in that generalization. I happened to agree with spanking kids. Not as a first resort, and not for just anything, but I did agree that he did the right thing. I just didn't respond well to being generalized like that.
You're wasting your breath. This is the same woman who claims to be a good parent, all the while, she's a dope smoking, mullet wearing, thread wrecking distaste.

I'm glad she's not MY mom.

[chiefs4me]

You're wasting your breath. This is the same woman who claims to be a good parent, all the while, she's a dope smoking, mullet wearing, thread wrecking distaste.

I'm glad she's not MY mom.




you don't know if I smoke dope or not, all you know is what I tell you...:D I also asked the lady who cuts my hair about my doooo...and she said you have no clue, oh, I also love how when I post on a thread it's threadwrecking...ROFL but when you or anybody else makes a post's it's God's word....:rolleyes: the mom part....no one thanks God more then me, that I am no relation to you at all..:clap: oh yea, we both know what you are, don't we......:D

[greg63]

Shut up, n00b.


ROFLROFLROFLROFL


...Yep! I'd say pretty n00bastic alright.

[BIG_DADDY]

Sounds pretty good other than the fact that I personally would never tell my godson to run and snitch. I know that's the new age mentality but I'm not buying into it. It reminds of that seen at the end of scent of a woman.

[Calcountry]

Sounds pretty good other than the fact that I personally would never tell my godson to run and snitch. I know that's the new age mentality but I'm not buying into it. It reminds of that seen at the end of scent of a woman.THAT, was a GREAT movie! :thumb:

[BIG_DADDY]

THAT, was a GREAT movie! :thumb:

That was a good movie I loved that speach.

Something tells me that with Braincase's genetics his kids getting bullied isn't going to happen very often. Bullies like picking on the weak ones. You would have to be suicidal to pick on the kid that's twice your size.