I got my wife a treadmill...

[DMAC]

for her birthday. Gave it to her last night. I think she likes it, but I am not sure. I called her today around 11 AM and asked if she had used it yet, she laughed and said no. Was this a bad idea for a present? She mentioned she wanted one a few months ago.

[Saulbadguy]

Are you ****ing serious?

[SPchief]

This should be fun

[teedubya]

tell her to get her fat ass on the treadmill.

btw, you should have got her an Elliptical... much better.

[jidar]

this has to be a joke.

[DMAC]

this has to be a joke.ROFL

[BIG_DADDY]

Did you get her a couple bottles of diet pills too?

[Fish]

Wow dude.... seriously..... Did you get her a case of Slimfast too? Maybe a size 3 bikini to hang in front of the treadmill?

[Nzoner]

for her birthday. Gave it to her last night. I think she likes it, but I am not sure. I called her today around 11 AM and asked if she had used it yet, she laughed and said no. Was this a bad idea for a present? She mentioned she wanted one a few months ago.

I've learned in 20 years of marriage that anything that may even come close to insinuating that my wife could lose a couple of pounds is NOT a good idea for a gift.

Hell sometimes I'm afraid to suggest we go to a salad bar for dinner.

[Eleazar]

Were they out of irons and vacuums?

[suds79]

Wow. lol.

The ole exercise equipment for a gift. And then to follow it up with checking to see if she's used it yet. :shake:

I'd ease off the subject for a little bit so as not to make it too obvious.

[stumppy]

Either you're dummer than a box of rocks or you rule your house with.......aw forget it. That was just DUMB.


You will pay for this, man will you pay.

[DMAC]

Last year I got her a bowling ball that said Dave on it.

[Phobia]

Funny, I bought her a trough and a year's supply of grain.

[Nzoner]

Funny, I bought her a trough and a year's supply of grain.

Well that explains why she wasn't using the treadmill when he called today.

[stumppy]

Funny, I bought her a trough and a year's supply of grain.


Not much difference in their eyes.:shake:

[ExtremeChief]

Just take her for a nice relaxing drive in the country. When you find a nice sized farm with about 40 big round hay bales stacked along the fence, look lovingly in her eyes, point at the hay bales and say, "Look honey, a buffet!!!"


That should fix everything.

[beer bacon]

The only way you will know if she likes it is if you call her every twenty minutes to ask if she has used it yet. You better get started!

[Gonzo]

I can see this now... You say,"Happy birthday honey!" She hears," I got you a tread mill you disgustingly fat cow. I'll hang some twinkies in front of it to motivate you!" Jeez, I hope you like the couch dude.

[bogie]

It's okay to get her a treadmill if she asked for one. Maybe not for her birthday though.

[Donger]

My wife was wearing a pair of those low cut jeans recently, and I poked her midrift with my finger just in jest. She's now full on her caloric burn throttle. I feel badly about it.

[blueballs]

you had better
pull it out and wack it
the first time
you see her on it

[BIG_DADDY]

My wife was wearing a pair of those low cut jeans recently, and I poked her midrift with my finger just in jest. She's now full on her caloric burn throttle. I feel badly about it.

Yea you do. ROFL

[Skip Towne]

I got mine a lawnmower one year. Hey! That's what she asked for. If it had been my idea I'd have gotten her a Ditch Witch.

[Donger]

Yea you do. ROFL

Seriously. My wife's very fit. But, she misinterpreted my poke. I was just touching her but she assumed that I was saying she's fat. She's not at all. 5'8" and 114 lbs, as she reminded me last night.

[BIG_DADDY]

Seriously. My wife's very fit. But, she misinterpreted my poke. I was just touching her but she assumed that I was saying she's fat. She's not at all. 5'8" and 114 lbs, as she reminded me last night.

That's certainly NOT fat.

[Donger]

That's certainly NOT fat.

I know. Hence my feeling badly about it.

[RedNFeisty]

Unless she came out and said she wanted a treadmill for her birthday, you ****ed up.


ROFL

[Baby Lee]

Funny, I bought her a trough and a year's supply of grain.
Phobia, making posters' wives fat for a good while now. ROFL ROFL ROFL

[Skip Towne]

Unless she came out and said she wanted a treadmill for her birthday, you ****ed up.


ROFL
And then posted about it on the Planet. A regular Norman Einstein.

[Baby Lee]

Seriously. My wife's very fit. But, she misinterpreted my poke. I was just touching her but she assumed that I was saying she's fat. She's not at all. 5'8" and 114 lbs, as she reminded me last night.
ROFL - picturing Donger and his wife reenacting the 'orgasm' scene from Spanglish.

[BIG_DADDY]

What she really appreciated was that kid you hired to operate it, though. Am I right?

He cleaned the oven too? :shrug:

[Sure-Oz]

Nothing says I love you like a treadmill lmfao

[Baby Lee]

Nothing says I love you like a treadmill lmfao
in DMAC's wife's case, jhfao.

[Sure-Oz]

Disgusting thing is, reminds me of the first time i got some, girl was on top all doing here thing, im thinkin damn this is what i been waitin for all my life, then i stick two fingers on her neck. SHe asks what are you doing? i said, looking for a pulse, she got upset and started crying and ran off. Now that's I love you!

[Mr. Kotter]

ROFL

You'll be sleeping on the couch very soon....

[Frazod]

Well, after she loses a bunch of weight and then divorces you, perhaps you'll get the treadmill in the settlement. ROFL

[morphius]

Well, after she loses a bunch of weight and then divorces you, perhaps you'll get the treadmill in the settlement. ROFL
Just wait for her to ask for bigger boobs and you know its over...

[ChiefsFire]

for her birthday. Gave it to her last night. I think she likes it, but I am not sure. I called her today around 11 AM and asked if she had used it yet, she laughed and said no. Was this a bad idea for a present? She mentioned she wanted one a few months ago.
you must not like having sex.... :shake:

[Jenny Gump]

Funny, I bought her a trough and a year's supply of grain.

ROFL you rule

[RealSNR]

Well, after she loses a bunch of weight and then divorces you, perhaps you'll get the treadmill in the settlement. ROFLWhy should he reserve hope like that? It's obvious you didn't get any exercise equipment in your settlement

[Halfcan]

for her birthday. Gave it to her last night. I think she likes it, but I am not sure. I called her today around 11 AM and asked if she had used it yet, she laughed and said no. Was this a bad idea for a present? She mentioned she wanted one a few months ago.

Nice, guys just don't get it sometimes. This present-no matter that you had good intentions-screams-honey you are TOO FAT!!!!

I hope you had a backup gift.

[BucEyedPea]

Did she slap you in the face? :)

[onescrewleftuntwisted]

ROFL

You'll be sleeping on the couch very soon....


oh no she will make him sleep on it.

[Otter]

Don't have time at the moment to go thru all the posts but getting any girl a treadmill = "you think I'm fat".

Dangerous, dangerous territory.

I'd get her a piece of jewelry and say "I'm getting chunky and want to look good for you, let's start going for walks and I'm getting a treadmill". She sees you getting in shape, she'll most likely want to keep up.

While not a bad gift in practicality, you’re dealing with a woman.

[teedubya]

she get her fat ass on the treadmill gift, yet? Or is she currently busy scarfing down some more Häagen-Dazs?

[Brock]

What a dumb fuggin thing to do.

[J Diddy]

What a dumb fuggin thing to do.

Yeah really should have just gotten her a card that read.


Fatass,

Happy ****ing birthday, you don't need no more cake.

[Frazod]

Next time he's getting a hummer, he could yell out "THAR SHE BLOWS!" ROFL

[Pants]

Next time he's getting a hummer, he could yell out "THAR SHE BLOWS!" ROFL

ROFL

[Braincase]

Don't tell me... when she asks "Does this outfit make me look fat?" you actually give her an honest answer.

Mr. Dumas....

[Ultra Peanut]

HOW SUBTLE

[Iowanian]

The only thing you could have done to make this better, is to have used my Idea of the Caulking gun full of twinkey filling, and squirted a trail from the kitchen to the treadmill, and put a picture of her in HS in a swim suit on the front handle.

If you have sex before the 4th of July.....she should be tested for roofies.

[Iowanian]

Did the Card say something like

"my dearest wife
You used to be hot,
I hope its not fickle..
I bought you this treadmill
because I noticed your ass
looks like it was beaten with sock full of nickles"

See more "cards hallmark won't make but should" and Iowaniandotcom.

[DrNick]

Unfortunately, I've got to side with the masses...this is right up there with getting her new pots and pans for her birthday. Should have stuck with the jewelry...:shake:

[Iowanian]

I didn't get my wife anything for her last birthday...not even a card.....and I think mine was a better selection than the Richard Simmons sweatin to the oldies box set and a treadmill.

[Skip Towne]

Did the Card say something like

"my dearest wife
You used to be hot,
I hope its not fickle..
I bought you this treadmill
because I noticed your ass
looks like it was beaten with sock full of nickles"

See more "cards hallmark won't make but should" and Iowaniandotcom.
Hey, I'm no poet but this verse needs a little work.

[Hammock Parties]

Seriously. My wife's very fit. But, she misinterpreted my poke. I was just touching her but she assumed that I was saying she's fat. She's not at all. 5'8" and 114 lbs, as she reminded me last night.

OH YEAH