I was just watching HBO's "Real Sex" and....

[JimNasium]

it was stated that the average length of a male member is 5 1/2 inches. For once in my life I am above average.

[Iowanian]

You're measuring from your tailbone again jimbo...I don't think thats a legal measurement.

[JimNasium]

You're measuring from your tailbone again jimbo...I don't think thats a legal measurement.
You mean you are not supposed to include the coin purse?

[UteChief]

Well I thought it was only 3.5 to the g spot so 5.5 works. Plus it's not the pen it's the penmanship.

[tommykat]

it was stated that the average length of a male member is 5 1/2 inches. For once in my life I am above average.

:hmmm: Really? Jenny must be home and you are "Home Alone". ROFL

[JimNasium]

:hmmm: Really? Jenny must be home and you are "Home Alone". ROFL
Actually, I'm home with kids.

[Halfcan]

You measured? That is weird.

[tommykat]

Actually, I'm home with kids.

knew that....;)

[JimNasium]

You measured? That is weird.
Who says I measured? I've got assistants to do the menial work.

[JimNasium]

knew that....;)
Sorry to hear about your puppy. :(

[tk13]

Who says I measured? I've got assistants to do the menial work.
You spelled "penile" wrong.

[JimNasium]

You spelled "penile" wrong.
I'm not very intelligent.

[tommykat]

Sorry to hear about your puppy. :(

Thanks it was so hard to see all the blood etc..just keep crying...sorry to knock off your thread.

[Katipan]

This is a fantastic thread.

[Skip Towne]

I'm not very intelligent.
I've always said that.

[stumppy]

Sheesh. Can't believe I'm just average.

What about when it gets hard?

[teedubya]

You fawkers are always good for a larf.

[Skip Towne]

Sheesh. Can't believe I'm just average.

What about when it gets hard?
Hey, we're measuring across the head.

[JimNasium]

This is a fantastic thread.
Twelve inches would qualify as fantastic. Sorry, but I'm not fantastic.

[Katipan]

A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?

[Skip Towne]

Twelve inches would qualify as fantastic. Sorry, but I'm not fantastic.
Jenny told me you were halfastic.

[JimNasium]

A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?
I think I would most likely walk around with my hand on it making grunting noises. I guess I'll never know. :p

[JimNasium]

Jenny told me you were halfastic.
Wouldn't you like to know...Vito.

[morphius]

I've always said that.
You've always said that you were not very intelligent?

[Iowanian]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.

[Katipan]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.

I've put money in your g-string.

[Rausch]

I've been told that trimming the hedges makes the sidewalk look longer.

[Rausch]

Wouldn't you like to know...Vito.

I'll have you know I talked to both Jenny's for a half hour or so.








She was not amused...

[Katipan]

It also increases the odds that someone will play on it.

[Rausch]

It also increases the odds that someone will play on it.

"Quit'cher bitchen. It'll put fiber in yer' diet..."

[leviw]

I've been told that trimming the hedges makes the sidewalk look longer.

If you're going to spend time trimming, you might as well bring out the razor and take care of it all. Your significant other will not be disappointed.

[Katipan]

You know her, huh?

[Rausch]

If you're going to spend time trimming, you might as well bring out the razor and take care of it all. Your significant other will not be disappointed.


I'm not sure if this is a misguided comment on my unit or an equally misguided attempt to get me to go he-kini line...

[Skip Towne]

You've always said that you were not very intelligent?
No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.

[leviw]

I'm not sure if this is a misguided comment on my unit or an equally misguided attempt to get me to go he-kini line...

It was just misguided in general. Moving on...

[VonneMarie]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
On the Internet, my clam hammer is so big, that women used to pay me to sit naked on the floor with it stretched out, so they could put golf balls at my pee hole...

They were really impressed when I shot the ball back into their ball bucket on the other side of the room.

Good for tips.
ROFL

[Iowanian]

It was just misguided in general. Moving on...

Sorry pal....even if the grass is shorter than the south pole science station, no chic is thinking that thimble is doing any wombwrecking.

[leviw]

Sorry pal....even if the grass is shorter than the south pole science station, no chic is thinking that thimble is doing any wombwrecking.
Like I've always said, it's not for her benefit. It's for mine.

[SLAG]

On TLC on the program "Inside Sex" or something, they stated that the smaller the Penis looks when it is not erect the bigger it is when it is erect..

[Skip Towne]

A girl is only so deep and yet men are obsessed with penis length.

What the hell do you do with a 12 inch penis?

Kill bugs?
Shoe horn?
Finally, the voice of reason. My ex couldn't take the last inch or so and I never complained. Yet all these testosterone driven cavemen still want 12" . :shrug:

[Rausch]

No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.


I've met Silent Bob, I haven't met you.

Right now I'm siding with Silent Morph (you've never bought me a beer, grandpa.)

[VonneMarie]

On TLC on the program "Inside Sex" or something, they stated that the smaller the Penis looks when it is not erect the bigger it is when it is erect..
I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

[Iowanian]

Skip...I hate to break it to you, but they tied off her skinsock during her historectomy at first light.

[Rausch]

I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

I thought we had something special?...

[DJay23]

The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat.

[VonneMarie]

I thought we had something special?...
It was.

I've never had sex with a guy that uses a tweezer to get in...

[Skip Towne]

I've met Silent Bob, I haven't met you.

Right now I'm siding with Silent Morph (you've never bought me a beer, grandpa.)
Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.

[Rausch]

It was.

I've never had sex with a guy that uses a tweezer to get in...

Ghads.

Completely uncalled for.

[listopencil]

I can tell you right now, that is NOT true.

How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises? Hmmm...gochiefs?

[morphius]

No, I was trying to say that you weren't very intelligent. I don't know what went wrong.
That should tell you everything you need to know :D

[Rausch]

Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.


With the amount of pr0n I've purchased on DTV it's the least you could do...

[Rausch]

How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises?

Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...

[VonneMarie]

How do you prove or disprove something like that without asking someone who has seen many penises? Hmmm...gochiefs?
I only know of one to tell you that statement was not true.

[VonneMarie]

Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...
What? :spock:

[listopencil]

Between a 20-something gal and a Denver fan I'd say you're both equally qualified...


Well, viewing mine would make it uneccessary for you to go hungering after more man meat but I'm taken and I don't thwing that way thailor.

[Skip Towne]

Well, you just lowered your chances exponentially of me ever buying you a beer.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!

[morphius]

Well, viewing mine would make it uneccessary for you to go hungering after more man meat but I'm taken and I don't thwing that way thailor.
Well, with that nose and those ears you better have a big...

[Rausch]

What? :spock:

Yer not 20?

Uh....heh......****.

Ah.....ugh........must.....scrub..........wash.....make.....clean.....so wrong.....

[morphius]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!
Now you are talking to yourself on a BB, what are you GoChiefs?

[VonneMarie]

Yer not 20?

Uh....heh......****.

Ah.....ugh........must.....scrub..........wash.....make.....clean.....so wrong.....
I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:

[Rausch]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that I hope you and Morphidite are happy together, YES!!!

We're both straight, but it's nice to hear you encourage same seggs relationships.

I've got a buddy I can introduce you to...

[morphius]

I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:
and your not even blond.

[VonneMarie]

and your not even blond.
Well, you're stoopid!


Yes! ...

[Skip Towne]

Now you are talking to yourself on a BB, what are you GoChiefs?
Actually I was talking to Rausch. Have you two decided who is pitcher and who is catcher? Not that I care but just to clarify.

[Rausch]

I'm 21...

I just wasn't paying attention. :huh:

Well, it was good for me anyway...

[morphius]

Well, you're stoopid!


Yes! ...
How long have you been posting here, everyone knows its "your and idiot" :D

[VonneMarie]

How long have you been posting here, everyone knows its "your and idiot" :D
Sorry I'm not in the loop.


Stoopid...

[VonneMarie]

Well, it was good for me anyway...
Um, you completely lost me again.

[morphius]

Actually I was talking to Rausch. Have you two decided who is pitcher and who is catcher? Not that I care but just to clarify.
You must be having a great night with those images dancing in your head.

[morphius]

Sorry I'm not in the loop.


Stoopid...

I was bringing you into the loop, but hey, I have been called worse...

[Skip Towne]

We're both straight, but it's nice to hear you encourage same seggs relationships.

I've got a buddy I can introduce you to...
You lie to your friends and I'll lie to mine but let's not lie to each other. I won't tell anybody about you and Morph. Tic-a-lock

[Rausch]

You must be having a great night with those images dancing in your head.

He decides to have a male-on-male fantasy and picks the whitest, most goofy, and unlikely mudderfuggers on the whole BB.

Somewhere, GoatCheese is laughing and pointing...

[VonneMarie]

I was bringing you into the loop, but hey, I have been called worse...
I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.

[Rausch]

You lie to your friends and I'll lie to mine but let's not lie to each other.

http://www.nedleypublishing.com/images/ProofPositiveCover.jpg

[Rausch]

I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.

You'll get much more use out of this...

[stevieray]

for once in my life
I 've got someone who doesn't think
that i'm below average

just like they did before

for once in my life
this extra eighth inch won't leave me
not like it's left me before

for once I can say
this is mine you can't take it..
as long as I know jenny's not faking it...

for once in my life
i've got an above average penis who neeeeeeds meeeee.....

[morphius]

He decides to have a male-on-male fantasy and picks the whitest, most goofy, and unlikely mudderfuggers on the whole BB.

Somewhere, GoatCheese is laughing and pointing...
Okay, that is the funniest thing I have read here in a while.

LMAO!!!

[VonneMarie]

You'll get much more use out of this...
http://www.backstage-fashion.com/Family_Guy_Stewie_patch_pfg0015.jpg

[J Diddy]

You'll get much more use out of this...


watch Out

Grammer Nazi on Patrol

[Katipan]

Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.

[morphius]

I apologize. And to show you my gratitude I will use the phrase "your and idiot" in one of my post in the next 24 hours.
LOL! No need, don't be one of the crowd, its probably cooler if you don't in this case.

morphius
stoopid head.

[Rausch]

watch Out

Grammer Nazi on Patrol


Hey, pointing out the grammer mistakes in others provides me with a nearly unlimited spell-check on all my posts.

:)

[VonneMarie]

LOL! No need, don't be one of the crowd, its probably cooler if you don't in this case.

morphius
stoopid head.
No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

[morphius]

Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.
Well, thats a little less disturbing.

morphius
off to bed with the pregnant lady...

[morphius]

No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.
What if the "in" crowd really isn't "in"?

[Rausch]

Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.

Hate to break yer heart, but I'm not taking a brat in the bun fer all the beer in Deutschland...

[VonneMarie]

What if the "in" crowd really isn't "in"?
Why wouldn't it be?

[Skip Towne]

Indeed. If I were to pick a male on male fantasy. Morphius on Rausch sounds like fun.
I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:

[Rausch]

No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

Can you make a fridge beer run in 4.4 seconds?

[VonneMarie]

I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:
Skip, you're so hot. Take it as a compliment.

BTW, I got next...

[Rausch]

I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:


Quit being a dartboard for our love batter...

[VonneMarie]

Can you make a fridge beer run in 4.4 seconds?
No. But, I know someone who can.

[Skip Towne]

Quit being a dartboard for our love batter...
You'd think at my age these young guys wouldn' want old wrinkly sex. But you can see for yourself, they just can't stay away from me.

[Katipan]

I'd agree if they just hadn't dragged me into their little love triangle. Include me OUT!!! I've told both of them to leave me alone but both of them call me all the time. What to do? :shrug:

You're just asking for it dressed like that.

[Mr. Kotter]

Are you fuggers really so incompetent you don't label the "Nite Crew" threads anymore....or you just expect us dumb fuggers to figure it out, by the post time and counts!!!!

:cuss: :cuss: :cuss:

[Mr. Kotter]

No. I need to be in the "in crowd" it's very important to me.

You are very definitely part of the "in" crowd....heh. ;)

[Katipan]

This thread is about a Planet penis. What the hell did you expect?

[VonneMarie]

You'd think at my age these young guys wouldn' want old wrinkly sex. But you can see for yourself, they just can't stay away from me.
ROFL ROFL ROFL

[VonneMarie]

You are very definitely part of the "in" crowd....heh. ;)
:D

[Mr. Kotter]

Hey, pointing out the grammer mistakes in others provides me with a nearly unlimited spell-check on all my posts.

:)

What? You are gettin' your panties in a wad about grammar....why, the next time, I ought to...

:p

[Mr. Kotter]

This thread is about a Planet penis. What the hell did you expect?

A Planet Penis? And it involves a she-male like JimNasium? *****, PLEEEEZE..... :harumph:

[Skip Towne]

You're just asking for it dressed like that.
I try not to provoke them but they are young guys. Young boys and old men appeal to them somehow. :shrug: I don't question it but just try to go with the flow.

[Rausch]

No. But, I know someone who can.

http://www.forumspile.com/ASL-Naked.jpg

[stevieray]

this thread could kill a hard on.

[Rausch]

Young boys and old men appeal to them somehow. :shrug: I don't question it but just try to go with the flow.

[Katipan]

I dunno. I have a boner.

[VonneMarie]

http://www.forumspile.com/ASL-Naked.jpg
It's a guy...

[stevieray]

I dunno. I have a boner.

interesting, when I typed that I thought, well, except katipan.

[Mr. Kotter]

I dunno. I have a boner.

We are NOT interested in Brian's state of arrousal..... :banghead:

[VonneMarie]

Ok, who killed the thread?

[Mr. Kotter]

Ok, who killed the thread?

I think it was Brad's A/S/L pic....I'm still cleaning puke from my keyboard.

BASTARD! :cuss:

[Katipan]

interesting, when I typed that I thought, well, except katipan.

awww my favorite alannah miles song played right as i read your post.

[Mr. Kotter]

awww my favorite alannah miles song played right as i read your post.

So....are you guys across the parking lot, in apartments with a view of each others deck? Or are you side-by-side posting on two computers in the same room? :hmmm:

[Katipan]

Mr. Kotter... Is that what you would do with a girl?

[Mr. Kotter]

Mr. Kotter... Is that what you would do with a girl?

No.

Hint: I am NOT Clayton (gochiefs....). Heh.

[Herzig]

Like I've always said, it's not for her benefit. It's for mine.

If you shave it all, don't you kind of look like a pre pubescent boy? I don't even want to imagine such a thing.

[JimNasium]

Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?

[Bootlegged]

I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.

[morphius]

Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?
I don't know, it was going just fine until Skip released his distrubing delusions on the rest of us. Somehow he decided that Rausch and I pointing and laughing at Skip while he was wearing shorts, white socks pulled up to the knees, and shiney black leather boots , means that we have some sort of man love for him. Its sort of like an abused puppy really, where he considers any attention as a good thing I guess.

[morphius]

I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.
Get your .... out of the beer can you freak.

But please leave the room first, most of us don't want to see it.

[ROYC75]

Why oh why did this thread have to turn to man sechs?

Probally because you felt a little bit cocky about being better than average ? :shrug:

Must of been this stuff ......http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=93609&page=1&pp=15

[jiveturkey]

I'm 7". AROUND. Think about it.So you're built like a can of tuna???

[Bootlegged]

So you're built like a can of tuna???

A carafe, actually

[jiveturkey]

A carafe, actuallyThat would explain your avatar.