God warns Pat Robertson, but mumbles.

[Rain Man]

God really should speak more clearly about important topics like this.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/12851397/?GT1=8199

Preacher: God told him about storms, tsunami
Robertson says warning was for this year; tsunami might hit Northwest

Updated: 9:30 a.m. MT May 18, 2006
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - In another in a series of notable pronouncements, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

Robertson has made the predictions at least four times in the past two weeks on his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded.

Robertson said the revelations about this year's weather came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

Robertson has come under intense criticism in recent months for suggesting that American agents should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine retribution for Israel's pullout from the Gaza Strip.

[Mile High Mania]

Did Pat hear anything about a potential hail storm in the eastern Ohio Valley? http://www.weather.com/newscenter/stormwatch/

[Mile High Mania]

What about game 6 of Mavs/Spurs? The Mavs win at home right? C'mon Pat... give us the goods.

[InChiefsHeaven]

I'm sure God was just clearing his throat at the time...anyone could make that mistake...

[Amnorix]

Storms...that's original for him. Isn't he the one that is usually going to die within 6 months unless people donate ten million dollars or whatever?

[chefsos]

Did Pat hear anything about a potential hail storm in the eastern Ohio Valley? http://www.weather.com/newscenter/stormwatch/
That's in the Premium Members forum.

[Braincase]

Jimmy Swaggert has confirmed that the tsunami will be caused by a 900 foot tall Jesus.

[Sully]

Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said. He distinctly said "to blave." And, as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff." So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated --

[StcChief]

tsunami in pacfic NW...big sea floor earthquake there....

so when will California slide off???

[Skip Towne]

Storms...that's original for him. Isn't he the one that is usually going to die within 6 months unless people donate ten million dollars or whatever?
Wasn't that Oral Roberts?

[Taco John]

I wonder if anyone will doubt he actually hears God if it never happens...

[Carlota69]

Thats some good shit.

[DMAC]

I wish he would say something about when we are gonna win the Super Bowl.

[big nasty kcnut]

Oh pat remember when your doing drug alway know your dealer and puffpuff pass.

[PunkinDrublic]

That sucks that republicans running for office have to pander to people like Robertsons simpleton followers.

[Taco John]

There is, eventually, going to be a Tsunami in the Pacific Northwest. That's just science, with that ugly fault there and all... I just wonder if Pat is mistaking the Discovery Channel for the voice of God.

[Brock]

I hate to think what this would do to the price of pot.

[Frazod]

There is, eventually, going to be a Tsunami in the Pacific Northwest. That's just science, with that ugly fault there and all... I just wonder if Pat is mistaking the Discovery Channel for the voice of God.

I'm guessing the TV was on in the other room and Pat just got confused.

[greg63]

Wasn't that Oral Roberts?

Yep.

[PunkinDrublic]

Speaking of religious zealotry, did anybody catch the simpsons this week? In the episode they brought intelligent design to Springfield elementry. Pretty funny stuff, in science class they were learning that oceans are Gods tears.

[Jesus]

Jimmy Swaggert has confirmed that the tsunami will be caused by a 900 foot tall Jesus.

Yeah, and I'm gonna use California as a springboard for doing a cannonball into the Pacific. With any luck, I'll break it off along the San Andreas fault....and it'll drop into the Ocean.

[Dave Lane]

I wonder if anyone will doubt he actually hears God if it never happens...


I wonder if they will think he does if it does happen.

Dave

[OldTownChief]

Wasn't that Oral Roberts?

Yes but he was granted an extension.

[Hammock Parties]

The radio guys had the fake Pat Robertson on this morning. It was hilarious. They do so many celebrity voices well.

[I_Am_God]

Yeah, and I'm gonna use California as a springboard for doing a cannonball into the Pacific. With any luck, I'll break it off along the San Andreas fault....and it'll drop into the Ocean.

You do that and you're grounded mister.

[Jesus]

You do that and you're grounded mister.

Ah, Dad. All the kids are doin' it....

[Rain Man]

I'm guessing the TV was on in the other room and Pat just got confused.

"God sounds just like David Letterman, and boy, is he cynical."

[FAX]

I'm guessing the TV was on in the other room and Pat just got confused.

I don't know, Mr. frazod. If David Letterman was God, there would be a "Top Ten Things You Had Better Do" list or something.

FAX

[HolmeZz]

Will I go to hell for neg-repping Jesus?

[Ultra Peanut]

McFly!

[Rain Man]

I don't know, Mr. frazod. If David Letterman was God, there would be a "Top Ten Things You Had Better Do" list or something.

FAX


Top Ten Things God Considered Doing On The Eighth Day


1. Move the earth closer to the sun to get better feng shui.

2. Put lasers on the sharks.

3. Carve statues of aliens into mountainsides just for fun.

4. Create Megan to go with Adam and Eve so he could see some cool three-way action.

5. Save some time and introduce the 1965 Mustang immediately.

6. Redesign the human brain to eliminate the eventual adoption of the intentional grounding outside the tackles rule.

7. Make the whole carnivore/herbivore thing a random selection at birth.

8. Combine rhinos and housecats to give humans a little more competition.

9. Change "darkness" to "rainbow-colored" to liven things up.

10. Rewrite the Bible with more car chase scenes.

[Bwana]

.

[FloridaMan88]

Everytime God hears Pat Robertson open his fat mouth, I'll bet He/She/It yearns to be an atheist

[Bugeater]

http://www.sherwoods-photo.com/heads_up/clucklg.jpg

[Ultra Peanut]

You do that and you're grounded mister.Ahem.

[Mile High Mania]

Look at this, maybe Pat needs to get clarification...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060522/ap_on_re_us/hurricane_prediction

I didn't know they picked out the names in advance.

[Ultra Peanut]

Look at this, maybe Pat needs to get clarification...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060522/ap_on_re_us/hurricane_predictionWhat a dumb spin on that article.

http://www.cpc.ncep.noaa.gov/products/outlooks/hurricane.shtml

The outlook calls for a very active 2006 season, with 13-16 named storms, 8-10 hurricanes, and 4-6 major hurricanes. The likely range of the ACE index is 135%-205% of the median. This prediction indicates a continuation of above-normal activity that began in 1995. However, we do not currently expect a repeat of last year’s record season.

...

1. Expected Activity - 80% chance above normal, 15% chance near normal, 5% chance below normal

...

Although we expect a very active hurricane season during 2006, we are not forecasting a repeat of last year’s record season at this time. This is partly because the tropical Atlantic SSTs are not presently as warm as we saw last year at this time. Also, a combination of conditions led to the record 2005 season. Some of those, particularly an amplified upper-level ridge over the eastern U.S., long periods of suppressed convection near the date line, and exceptionally low pressures in the Gulf and Caribbean Sea region, are simply not predictable at this time.Yeah... sounds like we're in for a snoozer.

I didn't know they picked out the names in advance.Prepare to have your mind blown:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lists_of_tropical_cyclone_names#North_Atlantic

[chagrin]

Top Ten Things God Considered Doing On The Eighth Day


1. Move the earth closer to the sun to get better feng shui.

2. Put laser beams on the sharks. "uh, we couldn't get Sharks Dr. Evil, we have mutant Sea Bass."
"Are they, ill-tempered?"

[Bob Dole]

The radio guys had the fake Pat Robertson on this morning. It was hilarious. They do so many celebrity voices well.

Bob Dole wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a good and a bad Pat Robertson impersonation.

[Calcountry]

What about game 6 of Mavs/Spurs? The Mavs win at home right? C'mon Pat... give us the goods.ROFL I am sorry, I go to church and all, and I respect the man, but that is funny.

[Calcountry]

Storms...that's original for him. Isn't he the one that is usually going to die within 6 months unless people donate ten million dollars or whatever?No, that was Oral Roberts.

[Calcountry]

Jimmy Swaggert has confirmed that the tsunami will be caused by a 900 foot tall Jesus.Swaggart had a problem with hookers.

[Calcountry]

There is, eventually, going to be a Tsunami in the Pacific Northwest. That's just science, with that ugly fault there and all... I just wonder if Pat is mistaking the Discovery Channel for the voice of God.There is a show on the Weather Channel called, "It could happen tomorrow." Maybe he has been watching too much of that.