The Circle Of Hell Exam

[FAX]

Upon referencing Dante in one of my earlier posts, I was reminded of this on-line test. Because I wanted to share this horrifying experience with all my fellow Planeteers, I have created this very troubling and fearsome thread entitled, "The Circle Of Hell Exam".

I have found that it is always good to pause for a moment or two of utter disquiet before engaging in the usual hedonistic Friday evening activities.

Link To Exam (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv)

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost, sorry if lame post, sorry if overly hellish post.

FAX

[Donger]

Fifth Level of Hell

The river Styx runs through this level of Hell, and in it are punished the wrathful and the gloomy. The former are forever lashing out at each other in anger, furious and naked, tearing each other piecemeal with their teeth. The latter are gurgling in the black mud, slothful and sullen, withdrawn from the world. Their lamentations bubble to the surface as they try to repeat a doleful hymn, though with unbroken words they cannot say it. Because you lived a cruel, vindictive and hateful life, you meet your fate in the Styx.

[CoMoChief]

I'm the 2nd level, whatever that means.

[SLAG]

Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

[CHIEF4EVER]

Purgatory

<HR>You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

[cdcox]

Wooo Hoooo!!! I'm in purgatory, baby!

[HemiEd]

Second Level of Hell

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You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

[Miles]

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

[SLAG]

Second Level of Hell

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You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.


I think thats where I was suppose to end up...

Damnit Carl :cuss:

[Adept Havelock]

For some reason, I can't say I'm at all surprised. Oh well, I'll get a table with DesCartes, Heinlein, John Stewart Mill, and Thomas Paine. It'll be quite a way from the Hitler-Genghis Khan-Tamerlane section.

I wonder if I'll have to become one of hell's civil servants/bureaucrats? [/Niven]


Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

<HR>You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.

[HemiEd]

Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis

You approach Satan's wretched city where you behold a wide plain surrounded by iron walls. Before you are fields full of distress and torment terrible. Burning tombs are littered about the landscape. Inside these flaming sepulchers suffer the heretics, failing to believe in God and the afterlife, who make themselves audible by doleful sighs. You will join the wicked that lie here, and will be offered no respite. The three infernal Furies stained with blood, with limbs of women and hair of serpents, dwell in this circle of Hell.


Your Fries should stay warm. :)

[HemiEd]

I think thats where I was suppose to end up...

Damnit Carl :cuss:

Not Carls fault, blame Phobia!


You a veddy, veddy bad boy!

[KC Jones]

level 2 - I'm with all the hotties.

Second Level of Hell

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

[RealSNR]

I've always found Dante's Inferno to be complete bull. I have no idea why it's recommended reading in literature classes. Dante pretty much wrote the book because people were mean to him, and he wanted to see them punished, so he wrote a book about the nasty things they did to scare the hell out of them. It's similar to being picked on in school and then draw pictures of the bully getting ass-raped in class later.

Oh, and I'm going to purgatory, bitches

[Adept Havelock]

I've always found Dante's Inferno to be complete bull. I have no idea why it's recommended reading in literature classes. Dante pretty much wrote the book because people were mean to him, and he wanted to see them punished, so he wrote a book about the nasty things they did to scare the hell out of them. It's similar to being picked on in school and then draw pictures of the bully getting ass-raped in class later.

Oh, and I'm going to purgatory, bitches

And of the three books in the series, it's the only one that's remotely readable.

You think Inferno's bad, try Purgatorio and Paradiso. Blechh.

However, the Larry Niven/Jerry Porurnelle updated version is pretty damn funny if you can find a copy. His guide is none other than Il Duce himself.

[BucEyedPea]

Hey! Come on down y'all....the company's great!!
Only one I'm troubled by is Caesar.


You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment. You are sent to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!


First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

[Kerberos]

Third Level for Muwah!

:hmmm: whatever that means?


.

[HemiEd]

Third Level for Muwah!

:hmmm: whatever that means?


.


You are ****ed, get a Dodge.

[FAX]

Hey! Come on down y'all....the company's great!!
Only one I'm troubled by is Caesar.

First Level of Hell - Limbo
Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

All Homers report to Level 1.

FAX

[CHIEF4EVER]

All Homers report to Level 1.

FAX

This begs the question: What level do NFL GM's get when they cheat on the salary cap to win a championship?

[chiefs4me]

I'm in Limbo..

[alnorth]

You are one of the lucky ones! Because of your virtue and beliefs, you have escaped eternal punishment.

First Level of Hell - Limbo

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Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad.

[listopencil]

Fifth level.


http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test2.mv?stat=1&xyz=29