Sign up here to see how and when you will die.

[Rain Man]

I got hold of a database of all deaths in the U.S. and their cause, and I set up a simulation database that will identify the cause of death of a random person, as well as the age. The age is drawn from the typical age of death of a person who dies of that particular cause, so it's pretty accurate.

I don't control for gender and race, so that's a weakness, but otherwise it's pretty cool.

So sign up here, and I'll give you the bad news.

[58-4ever]

Where do I sign up?

[milkman]

I just figured I'd piss someone here off enough that they would hunt me down.

[Rain Man]

Where do I sign up?


Ah. We have our first taker.

The wheel of death spins round and round, and she stops on...

Heart failure at age 87.2

Could be worse.

[Basileus777]

Ok, try me.

[Rain Man]

I just figured I'd piss someone here off enough that they would hunt me down.

Hmm, all that time outdoors must have been a problem for you.

Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at age 56.5

[58-4ever]

I just figured I'd piss someone here off enough that they would hunt me down.

I'm making the trek to your house, but Google searches for Milkman are not proving to be productive.

[58-4ever]

Ah. We have our first taker.

The wheel of death spins round and round, and she stops on...

Heart failure at age 87.2

Could be worse.

I always knew it would be the ticker. But, 82 isn't too bad at all considering my lifestyle.

[Rain Man]

Ok, try me.

Congenital malformations, deformations and chromosomal abnormalities at age 88.5

You did pretty well for someone who was born messed up. (Factoid: about 2 percent of people with these conditions survive to age 88 or higher, so this isn't a problem with the database. Basileus just got lucky.)

[milkman]

I'm making the trek to your house, but Google searches for Milkman are not proving to be productive.

I've had the same problem.

[Fish]

Ohhh ohhh.... will I die young?

[NJ Chief Fan]

uh uh me next me next

[Rain Man]

Ohhh ohhh.... will I die young?

Malignant melanoma of skin at age 48.5

Stay out of the sun, my friend. Stay out of the sun.

[Rain Man]

uh uh me next me next

All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease at age 87.8

Your guess is as good as mine, but at least you'll die old.

[Imon Yourside]

spin the wheel of death and gimme a cause/age of me ending malady.

[Rain Man]

Okay, I'm up. Let's see how I do.

All other diseases (Residual) at age 76.3

Oh, heck. That means I got something uncommon. I'm not sure I like the sound of that.

[Rain Man]

spin the wheel of death and gimme a cause/age of me ending malady.

Malignant neoplasms of colon, rectum and anus at age 96.6

Okay, not the most dignified way to go out, but at least you'll last a while.

[Eleazar]

How about me?

[Imon Yourside]

Malignant neoplasms of colon, rectum and anus at age 96.6

Okay, not the most dignified way to go out, but at least you'll last a while.

That's promising, i guess i won't have to give up smoking after all, thanks O great Scythe carrier. ROFL

[Rain Man]

How about me?

All other diseases (Residual) at age 66.1


We should talk. We both have diseases that the pharmaceutical companies won't invest in.

[NJ Chief Fan]

chronic infested heart disease

dammit i should of never started smoking pot

[Basileus777]

Congenital malformations, deformations and chromosomal abnormalities at age 88.5

You did pretty well for someone who was born messed up. (Factoid: about 2 percent of people with these conditions survive to age 88 or higher, so this isn't a problem with the database. Basileus just got lucky.)

Lucky me eh? 88 isn't bad, but what an odd cause of death.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Sign me up for death.

[Rain Man]

Lucky me eh? 88 isn't bad, but what an odd cause of death.

53.5 percent of deaths from this condition occur before age 1, but if you survive, you've got a halfway decent shot of making it a while.

[Rain Man]

Sign me up for death.

Nonstandard form of heart disease at age 87.7

They don't really know what got you, but it was in the ol' ticker.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Nonstandard form of heart disease at age 87.7

They don't really know what got you, but it was in the ol' ticker.


With my lifestyle and weight, that would be a blessing.

[Rain Man]

Gotta go. If anyone else wants to sign up, I'll give you your fate when I next log on.

This is a bummer. I'm still at work, and I just realized that the parking garage is locking up, and I don't have the little device that gets me in the door. Guess I'm walking home, and my car is trapped in the parking garage.

[Imon Yourside]

Gotta go. If anyone else wants to sign up, I'll give you your fate when I next log on.

This is a bummer. I'm still at work, and I just realized that the parking garage is locking up, and I don't have the little device that gets me in the door. Guess I'm walking home, and my car is trapped in the parking garage.

Ouch! have fun stormin' the castle.

[TinyEvel]

I've always been a gambler.
I clutch my trusty Magic 8-ball at my side (pun intended)
GIVE IT TO ME!!!!
--TinyE

[Rain Man]

I've always been a gambler.
I clutch my trusty Magic 8-ball at my side (pun intended)
GIVE IT TO ME!!!!
--TinyE

Okay, one more while I'm packing.

Here's an interesting one: Motor vehicle accident at age 18.7

How old are you?

If you're older than that, I'll give you this one:

Hmm.

Certain conditions originating in the perinatal period at age 0.6

You aren't destined for a long life.

How about another one?

Holy schamoley.

Heart failure at age 27.0

I'm buying insurance on you.

[Rain Man]

Ouch! have fun stormin' the castle.

The top's down, too. I'm bumming.

[TinyEvel]

YES!

Or, NO!

I'm 36!

But I live like a friggin maniac.

So, I think, in a weird way, those might be the fates I've cheated (much like Evel Knievel himself)

So, I'll drive with my hands on the wheel at 10 and 2, and look out for the devil in my rear view??

[Chief Chief]

Spin the wheel for me so I'll know whether to renew my term life insurance, or cancel it and save the premiums!

[TinyEvel]

Damn, bro. I just looked at my trio again, and it got me thinking.
I just recently had a health scare. Severe upper abdominal pains.
I figured it was from drinking/stress as of late and went to the doc for a physical and all the tests/bloodwork. (how 'bout that prostate test? Tell him there's a one-digit limit up the poop-chute, dudes.)
So, he tells me to stop drinking for a while....I get all my tests back and turns out I'm as healthy as can be!!!!
Everything normal.

So, I celebrated tonight with a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
But your "Three times cheated death" statistic has spooked me sober for at least another few days.

By the way, did I mention that there's
85 DAYS UNTIL FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!

(Yeah, lethargics thought I had given up)

[Bowser]

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glennfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

[stumppy]

Let's just get this all over with.
Hit me.

[Hammock Parties]

DO ME.

[Simplex3]

DO ME.
Who do you think you're kidding? You're already dead.

[RedandGold]

Alright, let me have the bad news...

[patteeu]

Hit me.

[PastorMikH]

Say, This thread reminds me of something GoChiefs would post.


:)

[Rain Man]

Spin the wheel for me so I'll know whether to renew my term life insurance, or cancel it and save the premiums!

Parkinson's disease at 81.3. I guess Michael J. Fox's foundation was a waste of money.

[Rain Man]

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was born in 1518 in the village of Glennfinnan on the shores of Loch Shiel. And I am immortal.

At least until Other (non-heart) disorders of the circulatory system claim you at 38.4

[Rain Man]

Let's just get this all over with.
Hit me.

Leukemia at 66.5. You went too young, my friend. You went too young.

[Rain Man]

DO ME.

Other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, at 86.7. Somehow I expected something more spectacular out of you.

[Rain Man]

Who do you think you're kidding? You're already dead.

Cerebrovascular diseases at 48.5. The classic burst blood vessel in the brain.

[Rain Man]

Alright, let me have the bad news...

Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at 70.9. Are you a smoker?

[Rain Man]

Hit me.

Motor vehicle accident at 58.8. You never see it coming, do you?

[FAX]

This thread is uncomfortably morbid, Mr. Rain Man. Congratulations.

Anyway, that witch I was telling you about (the one in Grand Junction) already told me how I would die. Actually, she told me everything that would happen to me and it has all come to pass in an odd, witchy way.

If you don't mind, let's see how close your mathematical approach comes to hers.

FAX

[SPchief]

I wish I could die a spectacular death. You know something for people to remember me by.

[Rain Man]

Say, This thread reminds me of something GoChiefs would post.


:)

Aortic aneurysm and dissection at 67.5. (Busted the ol' pump.) I bet you'll get a lot of people at your funeral.

[Rain Man]

This thread is uncomfortably morbid, Mr. Rain Man. Congratulations.

Anyway, that witch I was telling you about (the one in Grand Junction) already told me how I would die. Actually, she told me everything that would happen to me and it has all come to pass in an odd, witchy way.

If you don't mind, let's see how close your mathematical approach comes to hers.

FAX


It's particularly morbid because most of the deaths aren't spectacular shootouts or saving children from burning buildings. In a way, that's what fascinates me about it.

And when will FAX run out of paper...?

Essential (primary) hypertension and hypertensive renal disease at 98.7. I'm guessing you weren't a good transplant candidate, but it's too bad you couldn't hit 100.

[Rain Man]

I wish I could die a spectacular death. You know something for people to remember me by.

Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at 88.2

The nurses at the retirement center will talk about your spectacular discharges of phlegm for years.

[Rain Man]

Motor vehicle accident at 58.8. You never see it coming, do you?

You know what would be cool...I know of another database where I can put together stats about the situations of fatal car crashes - day vs. night, type of vehicle, how the car was hit, etc. It'd be cool to link that in with this, so I could even tell people about the car wreck that killed them.

I'll have to put that on my to-do list.

[Rain Man]

Damn, bro. I just looked at my trio again, and it got me thinking.
I just recently had a health scare. Severe upper abdominal pains.
I figured it was from drinking/stress as of late and went to the doc for a physical and all the tests/bloodwork. (how 'bout that prostate test? Tell him there's a one-digit limit up the poop-chute, dudes.)
So, he tells me to stop drinking for a while....I get all my tests back and turns out I'm as healthy as can be!!!!
Everything normal.

So, I celebrated tonight with a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
But your "Three times cheated death" statistic has spooked me sober for at least another few days.

By the way, did I mention that there's
85 DAYS UNTIL FOOTBALL SEASON!!!!!

(Yeah, lethargics thought I had given up)


I found that a little freaky, too. I think you're living on borrowed time.

[chagrin]

I have got to get in on this - hit me up dude, I've already beat cancer...what does me in finally?

[Rain Man]

I have got to get in on this - hit me up dude, I've already beat cancer...what does me in finally?

Good news. The cancer didn't win. You will succumb to "All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease" at 82.3. You are mainstream America, both in age and cause.

[DMAC]

In my family, everyone lives to be 90. And no one goes bald.

[Rain Man]

In my family, everyone lives to be 90. And no one goes bald.

Wow, maybe this thing really works.

Alzheimer's disease at 107.7. I'll bet you get your name in the paper when you go.

[DMAC]

Wow, maybe this thing really works.

Alzheimer's disease at 107.7. My wife always says I will get Alzheimers. But I just choose to not remember what she says.

[DJay23]

I've often had weird little flashes while I'm driving of a horrible accident. If I don't go that way, I'm sure I'll go in my early senior years of cancer. Seems to be popular among the males of my family.

[Rain Man]

I've often had weird little flashes while I'm driving of a horrible accident. If I don't go that way, I'm sure I'll go in my early senior years of cancer. Seems to be popular among the males of my family.

Hmm. I've got you down for malignant neoplasm of breast at 74.3. Since you're a guy, I think the odds are low of that (though certainly not zero), so let me give you an alternate.

Ah. Here's an American classic for you. Acute myocardial infarction at 74.6

[DJay23]

Hmm. I've got you down for malignant neoplasm of breast at 74.3. Since you're a guy, I think the odds are low of that (though certainly not zero), so let me give you an alternate.

Ah. Here's an American classic for you. Acute myocardial infarction at 74.6
Sweet, I'll take it. That's pretty old for my family.

[RealSNR]

Cake or death?

Cake, please.

Alright. Give him CAKE!

[cdcox]

spin me

[RealSNR]

Oh, and I'll have a go at this

[patteeu]

You know what would be cool...I know of another database where I can put together stats about the situations of fatal car crashes - day vs. night, type of vehicle, how the car was hit, etc. It'd be cool to link that in with this, so I could even tell people about the car wreck that killed them.

I'll have to put that on my to-do list.

I'm dying to know. :)

[Rain Man]

Cake or death?

Cake, please.

Alright. Give him CAKE!


Heart failure at 50.0. Must've been a very rich cake they gave you on your birthday.

[Rain Man]

spin me

Ooh. You draw a wild card, just like I did.

"All other diseases" at 85.0

You got something that wasn't big enough to have its own category. How exotic.

[Rain Man]

I'd love to locate a list of all terminal diseases so I could randomly assign one to people who draw this. However, I can't find one. I figure it's pretty darn big.

[AustinChief]

Sock it to me!

[Rain Man]

Sock it to me!

You will be felled by an invader with an unpronouncable name. Chronic glomerulonephritis, nephritis and nephropathy not specified as acute or chronic, and renal sclerosis unspecified at 71.4.

[rad]

I wanna go young.

[stevieray]

I'll play.

[Rain Man]

I wanna go young.

All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, at 88.2

You didn't look a day over 70.

[Rain Man]

I'll play.

Yikes! Do yourself a favor and don't grill a steak tonight.

Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, so described at 46.2

[stevieray]

Yikes! Do yourself a favor and don't grill a steak tonight.

Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, so described at 46.2

between the date thread and this, I get the hint.

[Rain Man]

between the date thread and this, I get the hint.

Thread date?

[cdcox]

Ooh. You draw a wild card, just like I did.

"All other diseases" at 85.0

You got something that wasn't big enough to have its own category. How exotic.

Hmmm. I'm now in the opening minutes of the 3rd quarter. That's not too bad.

[stevieray]

Thread date?

April 14th

[Adept Havelock]

OK, tell it to me straight Doc. How long do I have?

[Rain Man]

OK, tell it to me straight Doc. How long do I have?

Another person falls victim to one too many BBQ sandwiches. All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, at 91.9.

The bummer is that you'll go right before the Chiefs' next Super Bowl appearance.

[Rain Man]

April 14th


Oh. Never mind. I misread your post.

Well, you know what they say...unlucky at love, unlucky at atherosclerotic cardiovascularity.

[Adept Havelock]

Another person falls victim to one too many BBQ sandwiches. All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, at 91.9.

The bummer is that you'll go right before the Chiefs' next Super Bowl appearance.

Dammit, Car...I mean Dammit Snead's and Gates and Sons! :cuss:

[stevieray]

Oh. Never mind. I misread your post.

Well, you know what they say...unlucky at love, unlucky at atherosclerotic cardiovascularity.


and unlucky in rainman threads... :)

[ModSocks]

Is it to late to sign up? i need to know so i can start making plans

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Is it to late to sign up? i need to know so i can start making plans

Invest in Iron Nails and wooden beams...trust me.

[R&GHomer]

Gimme the news swami

[Rain Man]

Is it to late to sign up? i need to know so i can start making plans

You will succumb to cerebrovascular diseases at 65.1. I'll bet that's twice as good as you were expecting.

[ModSocks]

You will succumb to cerebrovascular diseases at 65.1. I'll bet that's twice as good as you were expecting.


Excellent. Now i have plenty of time to construct my ULTIMATE wheel chair and actually be old enough to use it.

[Rain Man]

Invest in Iron Nails and wooden beams...trust me.

Yowza. Who knew that Jenkins was a gang member?

Assault (homicide) by discharge of firearms at 15.3


If you've managed to dodge death on that one, you'll last a long time before buying the farm with Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at 92.3

[Rain Man]

Gimme the news swami

I'm afraid the long-term prognosis doesn't look good.

But then I say that to everyone.

Malignant neoplasms of liver and intrahepatic bile ducts at 73.8

[QuikSsurfer]

give it to me

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Yowza. Who knew that Jenkins was a gang member?

Assault (homicide) by discharge of firearms at 15.3


If you've managed to dodge death on that one, you'll last a long time before buying the farm with Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at 92.3

Mof*cker's gun jammed and then we bludgeoned his ass to death with steel toed boots. Then we poured Morton's salt all over him. 92.3 it is.

[Rain Man]

give it to me

Enjoy that eating thing while you can. Malignant neoplasm of esophagus at 71.3

[KcMizzou]

How bout me?

[Rain Man]

How bout me?

Diabetes mellitus at 70.0. Avoid sweets. Or eat sweets. I never remember which is right.

[Dunit35]

me next

[Rain Man]

me next

Other chronic liver disease and cirrhosis (non-alcohol-related) at 82.6. Sometimes living right can't save you.

[JBucc]

Ok do me

[Dunit35]

Other chronic liver disease and cirrhosis (non-alcohol-related) at 82.6. Sometimes living right can't save you.

I'll take that.

[FAX]

Isn't anybody here going to explode by burping during a fire eating exhibition?

Geez.

FAX

[Rain Man]

Ok do me

Hypertensive heart disease at 85.2. It'll make for a great deathbed scene.

[Rain Man]

Isn't anybody here going to explode by burping during a fire eating exhibition?

Geez.

FAX

My model is based on 2003 stats. The fire-burping explosion epidemic didn't really hit until 2006.

[alnorth]

my turn!

I'm a very careless driver, have a family history of cancer, and eat poorly, so... I'm sure I'll live past 100

[R&GHomer]

I'm afraid the long-term prognosis doesn't look good.

But then I say that to everyone.

Malignant neoplasms of liver and intrahepatic bile ducts at 73.8

:) Doesn't surprise me that the liver would be the first to give. What a wimp organ... :toast:

[BigRedChief]

I got hold of a database of all deaths in the U.S. and their cause, and I set up a simulation database that will identify the cause of death of a random person, as well as the age. The age is drawn from the typical age of death of a person who dies of that particular cause, so it's pretty accurate.

I don't control for gender and race, so that's a weakness, but otherwise it's pretty cool.

So sign up here, and I'll give you the bad news.

What exact day are you going to die? Answer is right here

http://www.deathclock.com/

[luv]

Signing up...

[Rain Man]

my turn!

I'm a very careless driver, have a family history of cancer, and eat poorly, so... I'm sure I'll live past 100

Renal failure at 84.9. Keep doing what you're doing.

[Rain Man]

What exact day are you going to die? Answer is right here

http://www.deathclock.com/

Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at 74.2 for BigRedChief. Good luck with that.

[Bowser]

What exact day are you going to die? Answer is right here

http://www.deathclock.com/

Damn. I only have a little over a billion seconds left to live.

[Bwana]

Hehehe.....this should be good.

[Rain Man]

Signing up...

Ah, our first female entry.

We draw the tarot card of death and...

Symptoms, signs and abnormal clinical and laboratory findings, not elsewhere classified, at 81.3.

I think that means that something was wrong with you, but it wasn't a normal something that was wrong.

[Rain Man]

Damn. I only have a little over a billion seconds left to live.

Bowser draws something unusual.

"All other diseases (Residual)" at 99.4.

I think this is something unusual, like Lou Gehrig's disease or river blindness.

[Rain Man]

Hehehe.....this should be good.

The risk factors work against Bwana. I'll bet you drive through a pothole that has an old engine block in it.

Motor vehicle accident, at 69.6

[Mr. Flopnuts]

What exact day are you going to die? Answer is right here

http://www.deathclock.com/


So I thought, oh this will be cute. Let's check it out and see what it says, probably not as long as Rainman gives me, but should be entertaining none the less...............Tuesday, June 22, 2010. WTF?!?!?! Eh, we all gotta go sometime.

[4th and Long]

http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/5769/gun2bf.gif

[DMAC]

So far I am still the oldest by far.

Hey, Rain Man, see when my wife is going, I would like to know just how many years of fun I am going to have...

[Mr. Flopnuts]

So I did this for my wife because it freaked her out that I was gonna die in 2010 and she didn't believe me. This time it said Thursday, September 2, 2060. That's better. Well if you like the idea of eating through a tube, having someone push you down to the bathroom in your wheelchair, and wipe your ass for you. 50 year difference in an optimistic and pessimistic attitude. Think positively folks, you'll live longer.

[FAX]

So I thought, oh this will be cute. Let's check it out and see what it says, probably not as long as Rainman gives me, but should be entertaining none the less...............Tuesday, June 22, 2010. WTF?!?!?! Eh, we all gotta go sometime.

I'm putting my trust in Mr. Rain Man's deathology science, Mr. Flopnuts, and I'll tell you why.

I saw a documentary film about the Bible Code a few evenings ago. Several of the code things stated that an asteroid will strike the earth in the year 2012. Each of these passages also included the phrase, "the end of days". The presumption is that life on earth will end that year due to an asteroid impact.

The thing is that, if I remember correctly, 2012 is also the date the Mayan and Hopi calendars end. This is interpreted by scholars as the end of this age. If one is at all inclined to spookiness, these facts might foster an elevation in the creepy enzymes.

FAX

[DMAC]

I'm putting my trust in Mr. Rain Man's deathology science, Mr. Flopnuts, and I'll tell you why.

I saw a documentary film about the Bible Code a few evenings ago. Several of the code things stated that an asteroid will strike the earth in the year 2012. Each of these passages also included the phrase, "the end of days". The presumption is that life on earth will end that year due to an asteroid impact.

The thing is that, if I remember correctly, 2012 is also the date the Mayan and Hopi calendars end. This is interpreted by scholars as the end of this age. If one is at all inclined to spookiness, these facts might foster an elevation in the creepy enzymes.

FAX
I've always known the rapture will come before I die anyway.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I'm putting my trust in Mr. Rain Man's deathology science, Mr. Flopnuts, and I'll tell you why.

I saw a documentary film about the Bible Code a few evenings ago. Several of the code things stated that an asteroid will strike the earth in the year 2012. Each of these passages also included the phrase, "the end of days". The presumption is that life on earth will end that year due to an asteroid impact.

The thing is that, if I remember correctly, 2012 is also the date the Mayan and Hopi calendars end. This is interpreted by scholars as the end of this age. If one is at all inclined to spookiness, these facts might foster an elevation in the creepy enzymes.

FAX



I saw something about that very thing a few years ago. Very interesting stuff to say the least. I think the old adage goes something like, "It's better to burn out than to fade away."

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I've always known the rapture will come before I die anyway.



ROFL ROFL ROFL The rapture. My favorite bedtime tale of all time. The time when all Christians get their revenge on mankind for not getting their way for all these years. When the God most high strikes down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. Mostly because you didn't believe in a bunch of heresy to begin with.

[DMAC]

ROFL ROFL ROFL The rapture. My favorite bedtime tale of all time. The time when all Christians get their revenge on mankind for not getting their way for all these years. When the God most high strikes down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. Mostly because you didn't believe in a bunch of heresy to begin with.
I will pray for you my brother.

EDIT: It's going to be very weird starting out my prayers..."Lord, bless Mr. Flopnuts..."

[Rain Man]

So far I am still the oldest by far.

Hey, Rain Man, see when my wife is going, I would like to know just how many years of fun I am going to have...

Your wife will fall to Cerebrovascular diseases at 87.4. Looks like you'll be an in-demand bachelor among the centenarian crowd.

[blueballs]

I am not afraid
much

[Rain Man]

I am not afraid
much

You also drew Cerebrovascular diseases, only at age 81.9. Don't worry; you won't know what hit you when it happens.

[blueballs]

blueballs goes
out in a stroke

[kaplin42]

in

[Rausch]

I got hold of a database of all deaths in the U.S. and their cause, and I set up a simulation database that will identify the cause of death of a random person, as well as the age. The age is drawn from the typical age of death of a person who dies of that particular cause, so it's pretty accurate.

I don't control for gender and race, so that's a weakness, but otherwise it's pretty cool.

So sign up here, and I'll give you the bad news.

I had a dream I'd die at 35 (6 years from now) by gunshot wound.

Yeah, pretty much falls under common sense there, but I'll play...

[Marcellus]

Hit me.

[Rain Man]

in

Ooh. Tough luck there. Nonstandard form of heart disease at 43.3.

Nice knowing you.

[Rain Man]

I had a dream I'd die at 35 (6 years from now) by gunshot wound.

Yeah, pretty much falls under common sense there, but I'll play...

Hmm. Gunshot deaths have their own category, so you missed that, but I'm guessing that you should make sure the hair dryer is safely away from the bathtub. You'll go as a result of "Other and unspecified nontransport accidents and their sequelae" at the tender age of 63.3.

[Rain Man]

Hit me.

Uh-oh. How old are you? You should wear your seat belt.

Motor vehicle accident at 23.6

[Goddess Tara]

Hell, let's see what it says.

[HarryParatestes]

Awwwwww riteeee then spin her for me Raiman....

[Jilly]

hell yes, I want to know how long I have...

[Frazod]

Lay it on me, Reaper.

[Rain Man]

Hell, let's see what it says.

Hmm. I think you cheated death. Your initial predication is,

"Accidental poisoning and exposure to noxious substances" at 17.5. I suspect that you were huffing gasoline, and as FAX noted earlier, you burped and exploded.

Since that apparently didn't happen, your next prediction is Malignant neoplasm of prostate at 96.7, but I don't think you have a prostate, so let's go again. You're hard to kill.

Okay, here we go. You're going to choke on a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup while watching TV in your house.

Other and unspecified nontransport accidents and their sequelae at 57.3.

[Rain Man]

hell yes, I want to know how long I have...

Oh. Now here's an unusual one. How old are you?

Pneumonia at 35.4.

[Rain Man]

Awwwwww riteeee then spin her for me Raiman....

Renal failure at 98.3

Better than choking on your pureed carrots, I guess.

[Jilly]

Oh. Now here's an unusual one. How old are you?

Pneumonia at 35.4.

Damn....I have 5.4 years??? Geez, I have to get busy....

[Rain Man]

Lay it on me, Reaper.

Oh. Another death cheater. Did you cheat to get your driver's permit?

Motor vehicle accidents at 15.6.

Since you apparently survived that one, let's go with Pneumonia at 84.3. Couldn't pay the heating bill, I guess.

[Frazod]

Oh. Another death cheater. Did you cheat to get your driver's permit?

Motor vehicle accidents at 15.6.

Since you apparently survived that one, let's go with Pneumonia at 84.3. Couldn't pay the heating bill, I guess.

I probably should have died in a car wreck at 15. I had a buddy who was a year older than me who got four wrecks while I was in the car with him. Worst friggin driver ever.

[Goddess Tara]

Hmm. I think you cheated death. Your initial predication is,

"Accidental poisoning and exposure to noxious substances" at 17.5.

Ironic, we had a carbon minoxide leak in our house in 91 or 92, which would put me right around 17.5!!!! That's kind of creepy.


Not liking the death at 51. :shake:

[Dave Lane]

Lets hear it...

Dave

[BucEyedPea]

Not liking the death at 51. :shake:

Yeah, but at least its happens from a peanut butter cup. Death by chocolate! That's a tasty way to go. :)

[joesomebody]

Hit me oh wise man of precipitation.

I'm just hoping to make it to 65, not too much to ask.

[Rain Man]

Lets hear it...

Dave

All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease at 88.4. That one seems to be taking a bunch of people out. We should cure this.

[Rain Man]

Hit me oh wise man of precipitation.

I'm just hoping to make it to 65, not too much to ask.


Hmm, the odds are low of your first draw, Malignant neoplasm of breast at 60.4, so we'll give you another roll. How about Malignant neoplasms of liver and intrahepatic bile ducts at 81.5?

[Mr. Kotter]

Okay, Kev. Hit me....

[Logical]

So what info do you need Kevin?

[Rain Man]

Okay, Kev. Hit me....

I'm hitting you with Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, so described, at 91.1. You could do worse.

[Rain Man]

So what info do you need Kevin?

Just your name. I'll handle the rest.

And for you, I've got an unusual treat. Malignant neoplasm of pancreas at age 95.6. That's a tough one to get, but at least it hit relatively late.

[Mr. Kotter]

I'm hitting you with Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease, so described, at 91.1. You could do worse.

Heh. Thanks for that. That would be generous, unless I change my ways soon. :)

[Marcellus]

Uh-oh. How old are you? You should wear your seat belt.

Motor vehicle accident at 23.6


34.99

I wonder if I am now immortal?

[Dartgod]

Please kill me...

[ExtremeChief]

Hook me up Mr. G. Reaper.

[greg63]

Do yer worst. :p


You're asking a Ouji Board; are'nt you?

[Lurch]

Okay, Mr. Rain Man....what you got for me?

[FAX]

Please kill me...

ROFL

FAX

[Rain Man]

Please kill me...

Cerebrovascular diseases at 87.7. You made it past 7/8ths of a century.

[Rain Man]

Hook me up Mr. G. Reaper.

Acute myocardial infarction at 90.7. I'll bet you were out mowing your yard when it happened.

[Dartgod]

Cerebrovascular diseases at 87.7. You made it past 7/8ths of a century.
Wow. It sounds really cool until I found out it was just a stroke.

[Rain Man]

Do yer worst. :p


You're asking a Ouji Board; are'nt you?

Acute myocardial infarction at 60.3. Wow, you didn't last long.

[Rain Man]

Okay, Mr. Rain Man....what you got for me?

"All other diseases (Residual)" at 71.5. These are the scary ones, because it means you got something unusual. I'll bet it was plague.

[mlyonsd]

Take your best shot RM. Better make it good, I'm feisty.

[Rain Man]

Take your best shot RM. Better make it good, I'm feisty.

I think you got the coveted "died peacefully in his sleep" result. Heart failure at 85.1.

(Note that this isn't a heart attack, since that's a different category.)

[mlyonsd]

I think you got the coveted "died peacefully in his sleep" result. Heart failure at 85.1.

(Note that this isn't a heart attack, since that's a different category.)

Rock on. Can anybody tell me what a good brand of cigarettes is? I better get started.

[greg63]

Acute myocardial infarction at 60.3. Wow, you didn't last long.

...Not according to my 8 ball.

[wazu]

I somehow missed this thread. Tell me, oh Rainman. How's it going to end?

[ImAWalkingCorpse]

Hmmm I guess I am due for mine.

[Rain Man]

I somehow missed this thread. Tell me, oh Rainman. How's it going to end?

The problem is not how, it's when. Yeesh.

"All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease", at 37.8

[Rain Man]

Hmmm I guess I am due for mine.

Perhaps a little overdue, considering your name.

For you, I draw a classic American end: Motor vehicle accident at 60.3

[MOhillbilly]

how do you get blood spatter out of slacks?

[meStevo]

You should reply to random/troll threads with this stuff, lol.

How about me?

[Rain Man]

You should reply to random/troll threads with this stuff, lol.

How about me?

Cerebrovascular diseases at 87.1. Stroke!

[blueballs]

You also drew Cerebrovascular diseases, only at age 81.9. Don't worry; you won't know what hit you when it happens.

good

[OnTheWarpath15]

Lay it on me, RM.

[ChiefFripp]

count me in

[Basileus777]

Congenital malformations, deformations and chromosomal abnormalities at age 88.5

You did pretty well for someone who was born messed up. (Factoid: about 2 percent of people with these conditions survive to age 88 or higher, so this isn't a problem with the database. Basileus just got lucky.)

Only 67 years left, time just keeps slipping away.

[Sam Hall]

please tell me

[RealSNR]

I'll bite. How do I die?

[kindra68]

can I still play?

[Warrior5]

I already died over two years ago... my B-17 (Dreamgirl) was shot up by FW-190s after we bombed Schweinfurt. kcnut (tailgunner) died due to lack of oxygen. We had to ditch in the channel, and I died of hypothermia.

[Rain Man]

Oh, fun. Let me see if I can find the database again.

[Rain Man]

You should reply to random/troll threads with this stuff, lol.

How about me?


Okay, found the file.

You? Watch the bacon and eggs. Acute myocardial infarction at age 75.4

[Rain Man]

Lay it on me, RM.


Hmm.... you aren't going the standard way. You'll go with "All other diseases" at age 87.2. If I had to guess, I would say it will be some sort of plague.

[beach tribe]

HowmI gonna go?

[Rain Man]

count me in

Tough luck. Septicemia at age 61.4. I had to look up septicemia, and it's essentially blood poisoning that causes a "whole-body inflammatory state". I'm thinking it won't be fun.

[Rain Man]

please tell me

Shockingly, it won't be by losing limbs on an amusement park ride, which rules out karma.

For you, we offer a "Nonstandard form of heart disease" at age 37.2. Um, how old are you now?

[Sam Hall]

Shockingly, it won't be by losing limbs on an amusement park ride, which rules out karma.

For you, we offer a "Nonstandard form of heart disease" at age 37.2. Um, how old are you now?

25

yikes

[Rain Man]

I'll bite. How do I die?

Join the club. Acute myocardial infarction at age 70.8.

[acesn8s]

I must know if joie will indeed be the death of me.

[Rain Man]

25

yikes

My advice would be to make good use of the next 12 years.

[Rain Man]

can I still play?

You'll lead a long healthy life, though some of it will be spent with a dialysis machine. For you, it'll be Renal failure at age 86.3.

[Rain Man]

HowmI gonna go?

Oh, hey. The word of the day is Septicemia. But in your case, it'll happen a little earlier than for ChiefFripp. Septicemia at age 50.3.

[Rain Man]

I must know if joie will indeed be the death of me.


Only if she smokes. Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at age 83.8.

[beach tribe]

Oh, hey. The word of the day is Septicemia. But in your case, it'll happen a little earlier than for ChiefFripp. Septicemia at age 50.3.

I'm gonna OD on opiates when I catch that shit. I'm not gonna have puss coming out of my eyes, and ears.

[acesn8s]

Only if she smokes. Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at age 83.8.What?!?:eek: Nearly 50 years with that woman? I guess I probably should go buy some flowers for this weekend then.:huh:

[Rain Man]

I'm gonna OD on opiates when I catch that shit. I'm not gonna have puss coming out of my eyes, and ears.


You cannot cheat septicemia out of its prize.

[beach tribe]

You cannot cheat septicemia out of its prize.

ROFLROFLROFL

[acesn8s]

Only if she smokes. Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at age 83.8.Do I get to walk around with one of those cool throat microphones?

[Otter]

Lay it on me Rain Man

[Rain Man]

Lay it on me Rain Man

Get your affairs in order early. You will succumb to "All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease" at age 51.9.

And no, I don't know what that means.

[Rain Man]

Do I get to walk around with one of those cool throat microphones?

With the new technology around today, I bet you could get one that gives you a cool Scottish accent, or maybe give you James Earl Jones' voice.

[patteeu]

You know what would be cool...I know of another database where I can put together stats about the situations of fatal car crashes - day vs. night, type of vehicle, how the car was hit, etc. It'd be cool to link that in with this, so I could even tell people about the car wreck that killed them.

I'll have to put that on my to-do list.

You must have a hella-long to-do list. ;)

[Rain Man]

You must have a hella-long to-do list. ;)


Yeah, I'm just now reaching "Earn high school diploma."

[kindra68]

You'll lead a long healthy life, though some of it will be spent with a dialysis machine. For you, it'll be Renal failure at age 86.3.

hmm didn't see that one coming

[Old Dog]

am I dead yet?

[Rain Man]

am I dead yet?


You've got years left. "All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease" at 84.9

[SAUTO]

my turn

[TrebMaxx]

What the heck. Give me the bad news.

[doomy3]

How will I die?

[chiefsfanintx]

Me too

[Sofa King]

i'll play...

[Rain Man]

my turn

Cerebrovascular diseases at 80.0. You won't really remember your last birthday.

[Rain Man]

What the heck. Give me the bad news.

Essential (primary) hypertension and hypertensive renal disease at 80.0. I wonder if you'll be invited to JasonAuto's birthday party. If so, you won't be able to eat the cake icing.

[Rain Man]

How will I die?


Cerebrovascular diseases at 60.2. You seemed so healthy.

[doomy3]

Cerebrovascular diseases at 60.2. You seemed so healthy.

Ouch. Much sooner than I was hoping.

[Rain Man]

Me too

Renal failure at 75.3. Simple but effective. Drink lots of water in the meantime.

[Rain Man]

i'll play...

Those beach vacations will eventually take their toll. Malignant melanoma of skin at 87.0

[Rain Man]

There are several uncommon causes of death that can come up and I keep waiting for them. However, since they're uncommon, it's rare that they'll show up. Keep trying, people, keep trying.

[Katipan]

I know when I'm dying... August 20th 2089.

It would be nice to know how tho.
So I know what to wear.

[kaplin42]

I'll take two please

[Rain Man]

I know when I'm dying... August 20th 2089.

It would be nice to know how tho.
So I know what to wear.

Wear something red, I think. "All other forms of chronic ischemic heart disease, not Atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease" at 97.6.

97.6? I'll bet you'll be about 4 foot 8 by that point.

[Buck]

I don't want to know when I'm dying, just how.

[Rain Man]

I'll take two please

Hmm. Malignant neoplasm of breast at 56.4. Maybe that one goes to your wife, and we'll give you another roll. (Though, yes, I do recognize that men can get breast cancer, too.)

Oooooh, we finally get one of the rare ones.

Complications of medical and surgical care at 91.2.

I bet you go in for a hip replacement and the anasthesiologist accidentally gives you too much knockout juice.

[FishingRod]

ok Let me know if I need to do laundry this weekend.

[SAUTO]

Cerebrovascular diseases at 80.0. You won't really remember your last birthday.

I BETTER start saving then, i never thought id last that long:D

[Rain Man]

I don't want to know when I'm dying, just how.


"Essential (primary) hypertension and hypertensive renal disease."

Your age is white below if you can't resist knowing. (How do people do that 'spoiler' thing?)





89.4

[Rain Man]

ok Let me know if I need to do laundry this weekend.

Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at 67.6. I bet you catch cystic fibrosis or something from the fabric softener.

[Buck]

"Essential (primary) hypertension and hypertensive renal disease."

Your age is white below if you can't resist knowing. (How do people do that 'spoiler' thing?)





89.4

Damnit, I hit quote and it shows the spoiler.

Thats a ripe old age.

Fuggin' Kidney Failure.

[FishingRod]

Other chronic lower respiratory diseases (not bronchitis, emphysema, or asthma) at 67.6. I bet you catch cystic fibrosis or something from the fabric softener.


Sounds about right. except for the "not" emphysema part

[Bootlegged]

I'm guessing liver issues...

[Rain Man]

I'm guessing liver issues...

Well, maybe, but it won't be a common one. All other diseases (Residual) at 56.5.

You're going to die of something that is uncommon enough that it affects less than 1 in 1,000 people. If I had to guess, I'd go with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.

[ChiefFripp]

Tough luck. Septicemia at age 61.4. I had to look up septicemia, and it's essentially blood poisoning that causes a "whole-body inflammatory state". I'm thinking it won't be fun.

Um Thanks? Sounds about right though...

[JuicesFlowing]

I hope I die before the earth is engulfed in flames, molten lava, acid rainstorms, nuclear bombs, plagues of locusts, and of course cataclysmic waves from the ocean.

[ncCHIEFfan]

ok... Whatcha got?

[The Franchise]

This I gotta hear.

[gta0012]

Do me :P

[rtmike]

Let's see...

I've had part of a tree fall and hit me on the face, compound fracture of my nose, concussion.
Some loser stabbed a buddy of mine as we're getting out of his car less than a foot from me in the jugular killing him.
I ran from 7 stories of structural iron that was falling down, three guys' didn't make it.
Crashed my Banshee making me a paraplegic.
Had two strokes, in a coma for 6 days.

Whatcha' got for me that can top that. :D

[The Franchise]

Let's see...

I've had part of a tree fall and hit me on the face, compound fracture of my nose, concussion.
Some loser stabbed a buddy of mine as we're getting out of his car less than a foot from me in the jugular killing him.
I ran from 7 stories of structural iron that was falling down, three guys' didn't make it.
Crashed my Banshee making me a paraplegic.
Had two strokes, in a coma for 6 days.

Whatcha' got for me that can top that. :D

Colon blockage

[bowener]

Let's see...

I've had part of a tree fall and hit me on the face, compound fracture of my nose, concussion.
Some loser stabbed a buddy of mine as we're getting out of his car less than a foot from me in the jugular killing him.
I ran from 7 stories of structural iron that was falling down, three guys' didn't make it.
Crashed my Banshee making me a paraplegic.
Had two strokes, in a coma for 6 days.

Whatcha' got for me that can top that. :D

Was that structure part of a baseball field by chance?

Also, if you are a paraplegic how do you type so well? :)


I already know how I am going to die:

52 years old, heart attack, while eating the last bite of my bacon explosion.

[rtmike]

Nope, Portland International Airport parking structure expansion in July '97.
http://www.nwlaborpress.org/1997/airport.html



http://www.answers.com/topic/paraplegia

[Rain Man]

ok... Whatcha got?

For you, we have Cerebrovascular diseases at age 84.1.

It seems like the barbecue really catches up with Chiefs fans over time.

[Rain Man]

This I gotta hear.

Oh, here's an unusual one. Viral hepatitis at age 59.7. Dirty needles or dirty women.

[Rain Man]

Do me :P

I won't, but Phillip Morris will. Malignant neoplasms of trachea, bronchus and lung at age 82.6.

[aturnis]

Alright...I'm brave enough...let me have it.

[Rain Man]

Let's see...

I've had part of a tree fall and hit me on the face, compound fracture of my nose, concussion.
Some loser stabbed a buddy of mine as we're getting out of his car less than a foot from me in the jugular killing him.
I ran from 7 stories of structural iron that was falling down, three guys' didn't make it.
Crashed my Banshee making me a paraplegic.
Had two strokes, in a coma for 6 days.

Whatcha' got for me that can top that. :D

Septicemia at 69.2. You might want to .... something. I have no idea how to prevent septicemia.