sex, multiple partners

[blueballs]

have you took a turn at having sex with someone
such as more than one guy taking turns with one girl?

[CoMoChief]

I have never heard of such thing, please explain.

[Simplex3]

As many threads as we have about sex it's plainly obvious to rival fans that Chiefs fans never get laid.

[Moooo]

have you took a turn at having sex with someone
such as more than one guy taking turns with one girl?

I don't know what you're talking about, please be mnore clear.

Though I think I do. My friend had sex with this girl at this party only to find out she had sex with THREE OTHER guys AND a girl... And he was not first...

Moooo

[Moooo]

As many threads as we have about sex it's plainly obvious to rival fans that Chiefs fans never get laid.

You know the rule. They say midwest chicks are ugly, but they make up for it in their ability to have sex...

:) JK I've had no problems finding hotties, and that's in SOUTHERN Missouri.

Moooo

[blueballs]

one girl takes on three guys one at a time
one guy goes in her bedroom, does her
comes out, next guy goes in, ect

[Lurch]

I jacked off once, watching Baywatch, listening to Madonna, and tending to 200 or so sheep. That count?

[luv]

I have never heard of such thing, please explain.
Sounds like a gang rape of sorts. Taking turns.

[SLAG]

Sounds like a gang rape of sorts. Taking turns.


You cant Rape the Willing

[CoMoChief]

You cant Rape the Willing


Girls are always willing to take my famous roofiecolada.

[luv]

You cant Rape the Willing
That's why I said of sorts. Just to get the mental image of guys taking turns.

[Hammock Parties]

I think it would be more fun the other way. Having chicks taking turns riding your dick.

[SLAG]

That's why I said of sorts. Just to get the mental image of guys taking turns.



NOT BACK DOOR SLUTS NINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/images/613/613_image_08.jpg

[ChiefsFire]

have you took a turn at having sex with someone
such as more than one guy taking turns with one girl?
ever hear
the phrase
"sloppy seconds"
?

[Bowser]

Girls are always willing to take my famous roofiecolada.

GIGGITY GOO!!

[blueballs]

I guess that is several nos

[luv]

I guess that is several nos
Not just no....HELL no.

[BWillie]

So nobody has done the eiffel tower or the rotiserrie chicken? I don't buy it

[SLAG]

So nobody has done the eiffel tower or the rotiserrie chicken? I don't buy it
Finger Cuffs

:shrug:

[Cartman]

So nobody has done the eiffel tower or the rotiserrie chicken? I don't buy it

Are those like "code" for taking up the poop shoot, and a circle jerk?

[BWillie]

Eiffel Tower - When two drunk guys who have to share a slutty chick. One guy is pounded her from behind while the other guy is screwin' her mouth then they high five to form what looks as an eiffel tower. Use a mental image and you'll get it.

[Cartman]

Eiffel Tower - When two drunk guys who have to share a slutty chick. One guy is pounded her from behind while the other guy is screwin' her mouth then they high five to form what looks as an eiffel tower. Use a mental image and you'll get it.

Awesome. And rotisserie chicken?

[luv]

Eiffel Tower - When two drunk guys who have to share a slutty chick. One guy is pounded her from behind while the other guy is screwin' her mouth then they high five to form what looks as an eiffel tower. Use a mental image and you'll get it.
You touch another guy while having sex?

[Cartman]

You touch another guy while having sex?

Hi-fiving, from opposite ends, while the girl is getting pounded from both ends, is an exception to that man-rule.

[blueballs]

maybe just click beer bottles

[Moooo]

Eiffel Tower - When two drunk guys who have to share a slutty chick. One guy is pounded her from behind while the other guy is screwin' her mouth then they high five to form what looks as an eiffel tower. Use a mental image and you'll get it.

I think the French would be insulted to know that a beautiful monument such as theirs is being referenced as a sexual act which to them would be thought of as, normal.

Moooo

[Cartman]

maybe just click beer bottles

Or pass the j....I'll suggest it at the next Man-rules meeting.

[blueballs]

when the french do it is called the grandfather clock
with the movement back and forth in the center

[BWillie]

when the french do it is called the grandfather clock
with the movement back and forth in the center

HAHAHA, good stuff.

[Over-Head]

You touch another guy while having sex?
Why does the name Anton come to mind with this post?

[Anton]

Why does the name Anton come to mind with this post?

Toodle-whoooo. You called?

[Moooo]

Well, now I know there are guys out there who have zero respect for women.

Not to be mean, but I kinda feel bad for you if it took you that long to figure it out. I mean, you can say the same for golddigging women, but guys are a litle less... secretive about it.

Moooo

[Cartman]

Toodle-whoooo. You called?

gaydar alert: Rump ranger

[Anton]

gaydar alert: Rump ranger

You think, fatass? They should have capped your ass, instead of Kenny.

[Cartman]

You think, fatass? They should have capped your ass, instead of Kenny.

Are you Scott Baio, in drag? You gave me pink eye on the alien ship, bitch! Oh yeah, and the rainbow in your sig sucks donkey dicks.

[blueballs]

there is something happening here
what it is isn't exactly clear

[Hammock Parties]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rotisserie+Chicken&defid=321490

Rotisserie chicken rules. I want to spin a bitch.

[Moooo]

there is something happening here
what it is isn't exactly clear

I'll give you the rundown:

Anton: Hello.
Cartman: I'm Cartman, and you're gay.
Anton: Duh, dumbass.
Cartman: I'm Cartman, and you're gay.

Moooo

[blueballs]

breast meat or thigh

[Cartman]

there is something happening here
what it is isn't exactly clear

Stop, hey wat's that sound
everybody look what's goin down

[Moooo]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rotisserie+Chicken&defid=321490

Rotisserie chicken rules. I want to spin a bitch.

Dude, so much could be said about this, but I will say if that's what you want to do with a chick when you get her, you might have problems getting one in the first place.

Though what do I know about you? I guess you supposedly got close to getting some the other night or something, so... Maybe I'm wrong.

Moooo

[blueballs]

I think it's going on in the same head
before it lands on the screen

[Cartman]

I think it's going on in the same head
before it lands on the screen

Did you just call me gay?

[blueballs]

no a hippy

[Moooo]

I think it's going on in the same head
before it lands on the screen

A personal battle
waging between two
of the same mind?

Moooo

[Hammock Parties]

Dude, so much could be said about this, but I will say if that's what you want to do with a chick when you get her, you might have problems getting one in the first place.


I'm not saying it would be priority No. 1. Just that I'd be up for it.

[Moooo]

I'm not saying it would be priority No. 1. Just that I'd be up for it.

Okay...That'll pass... Though it is kinda freaky.

Moooo, who is into one-on-one

[blueballs]

gochiefs wants to baste her
golden brown skin

[Cartman]

no a hippy

no a hippy

GD it. Stan? Chef? Is that you? Screw you guys, I'm going home. Bastard.

[luv]

Okay...That'll pass... Though it is kinda freaky.

Moooo, who is into one-on-one
You can still get freaky one-on-one.

[Halfcan]

You guys are a bunch of degenerates.

[Halfcan]

You can still get freaky one-on-one.

Is that an offer??? :drool:

[Moooo]

You can still get freaky one-on-one.

Yep, which is fine by me.

I'm just not into threesomes, two girls or another guy and another girl. You'd have to get me really drunk before I'd do one, and even then only a girl-girl-moooo one.

Moooo

[Rausch]

Finger Cuffs

:shrug:

The last thing I want to see when I'm getting ready to goo is some other dude's oh-face...

[luv]

The last thing I want to see when I'm getting ready to goo is some other dude's oh-face...
I like to see guys getting their oh-face on. Of course, I'm a female, so...

[BWillie]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rotisserie+Chicken&defid=321490

Rotisserie chicken rules. I want to spin a bitch.

It looks like GoChiefs is definitely up on his sexual positions slang. Congrats. Speaking of one on one, what do you think of Houdini or the Toboggan? Those are good moves... And now for the guys on here who never bang chicks. Try "the stranger". Sit on your hand for 10 minutes, then jack off with it. You'll think it's someone else. Hey, you can imagine

[SLAG]

The last thing I want to see when I'm getting ready to goo is some other dude's oh-face...


This might help

http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B000795QX0.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

I picked a brand new one up at good will for $3

[Moooo]

I like to see guys getting their oh-face on. Of course, I'm a female, so...

This could make a difference...

Its nice to know someone does. I always thought I looked like a damn fool when I did... Knowing chicks find it hot too is slightly reassuring.

Moooo

[Moooo]

This might help

I picked a brand new one up at good will for $3

Wouldn't that just make you think of James Earl Jones's O-face?

Moooo

[T-post Tom]

I had a salsa dream about Paz Vega, Selma Hayek, & Penelope Cruz the other night. Does that count?

[Hammock Parties]

It looks like GoChiefs is definitely up on his sexual positions slang. Congrats. Speaking of one on one, what do you think of Houdini or the Toboggan? Those are good moves... And now for the guys on here who never bang chicks. Try "the stranger". Sit on your hand for 10 minutes, then jack off with it. You'll think it's someone else. Hey, you can imagine

I've tried the stranger...didn't really work. Maybe I need to sit on the hand longer.

1. houdini

As a man reaches climax whilst in the "doggie style" position, the man pulls out and spits on their partner's back, fooling them into thinking that he has ejaculated, however, when their partner turns around, the man lets loose his baby yoghurt in his partner's face.

I took my weenie and pulled a houdini in her eye, then she cried.


1. toboggan

a sexual position in which the male is ridding the female near the stairs and proceeds to knock her arms out from under her and ride her down the stairs

i tobogganed that bitch all the way down the stairs last night, where we found her parents

[Halfcan]

This could make a difference...

Its nice to know someone does. I always thought I looked like a damn fool when I did... Knowing chicks find it hot too is slightly reassuring.

Moooo


First you say you have a horse face, then you state you get your own spunk on it.....TMI dude.

[Moooo]

First you say you have a horse face, then you state you get your own spunk on it.....TMI dude.

I didn't say I get spunk on my horse face. I have a cow face, and... you know what... nevermind.

:rolleyes:

Moooo

[luv]

First you say you have a horse face, then you state you get your own spunk on it.....TMI dude.
I'm confused. Spunk? We were talking about oh-faces.

[Moooo]

I'm confused. Spunk? We were talking about oh-faces.

Exactly...

Nice to know someone is following the convo... :)

Moooo

[luv]

Exactly...

Nice to know someone is following the convo... :)

Moooo
Speaking of which, how do you know what your oh-face looks like? Mirrors by the bed?

[Halfcan]

This could make a difference...

Its nice to know someone does. I always thought I looked like a damn fool when I did... Knowing chicks find it hot too is slightly reassuring.

Moooo

Okay-sorry-thought you meant Oh I got it on my face-GROSS! And I thought Luv meant she liked seeing that.

And I am not even drinking tonight-my bad.

[luv]

Okay-sorry-thought you meant Oh I got it on my face-GROSS! And I thought Luv meant she liked seeing that.

And I am not even drinking tonight-my bad.
Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.

[Halfcan]

Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.

This post is useless without pics...I am confused....,please explain in graphic detail what you meant.

[Moooo]

Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.

luv's a freaky girl!

And you don't really know what your "oh" face looks like. I had a chick show me what it looked like on her own face, and I was horrified. Ever since then I questioned it (not obsessively or anything).

Moooo

[T-post Tom]

Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.

& yet your sig line says, "Everything happens for a reason." I'm sensing some discord in the fabric of the universe.

[luv]

& yet your sig line says, "Everything happens for a reason." I'm sensing some discord in the fabric of the universe.
Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.

[Halfcan]

Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.

So they get "one" free shot-lol

[chubychecker]

I think I could be in springfield in about 4 fours. See you in the a.m. luv.

[chubychecker]

Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.

So, you would rather it in your mouth.... Interesting. You should consider a career as an inspirational speaker. You could start speaking to high school and early college girls. I mean, we all need to leave this place better off than we found it, don't we???

[Moooo]

Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.

Does that seem nasty to you, or disrespectful? I think its hot as a guy, but I think if I was a chick I'd feel pretty grossed out...

Moooo

[Halfcan]

Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.


This should be on your Sig.

So how many times has this happened?

[luv]

So, you would rather it in your mouth.... Interesting. You should consider a career as an inspirational speaker. You could start speaking to high school and early college girls. I mean, we all need to leave this place better off than we found it, don't we???
Less mess. Unless of course I discovered that it's the miracle cure for acne prone skin. Then swallowing might be a hard sell.

[luv]

Does that seem nasty to you, or disrespectful? I think its hot as a guy, but I think if I was a chick I'd feel pretty grossed out...

Moooo
Then think like a chick.

[luv]

This should be on your Sig.

So how many times has this happened?
None.

[Donger]

Less mess.

Strange creatures, you females. God bless you all.

[Moooo]

Then think like a chick.

So its more of an "eew" thing than a "how rude!" thing?

Interesting. I'm not being perverted, I just think its neat how some people will interpret the same act two entirely different ways.

Moooo

P.S. How many people have come up with sounds of Jackie Gleason in their head?

"POW! Right in the kisser!"

[Donger]

Does that seem nasty to you, or disrespectful? I think its hot as a guy, but I think if I was a chick I'd feel pretty grossed out...

Moooo

Are you kidding?

[luv]

So its more of an "eew" thing than a "how rude!" thing?

Interesting. I'm not being perverted, I just think its neat how some people will interpret the same act two entirely different ways.

Moooo
Yes, it's more of an "ewww" thing. At least for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicks that like it. And so what if you think it's hot? You've just finished. What's it matter where it goes?

[Moooo]

Are you kidding?

No. As a guy I wouldn't mind it at all, but if I was to think like a girl, I would probably think it was nasty stuff...

Girls think everything is nasty.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

Then think like a chick.

Paging Mr. Gochiefs....

[Moooo]

Yes, it's more of an "ewww" thing. At least for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicks that like it. And so what if you think it's hot? You've just finished. What's it matter where it goes?

That's the funny part. The few times I've gone facial on a chick it was awesome to think about it beforehand, but then whenever I'm actually doing it, I switch back into non-horny mode and feel guilty, even when the chick was the one wanting to do it.

Overall, I'd take the swallow any day. That's hot in more than one way.

Moooo

[T-post Tom]

Not really. If he spunks on my face on purpose, then I know I won't be sleeping with him again.

Words to live by. Isn't that a direct quote from Eleanor Roosevelt?

[Halfcan]

Yes, it's more of an "ewww" thing. At least for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicks that like it. And so what if you think it's hot? You've just finished. What's it matter where it goes?

Now hold on, your other post made it seem like....well l,ik,e it happens all the time and you like in the mouth instead of elswhere because of mess...now this post you seem like an angel that...oh nevermind

[chubychecker]

Words to live by. Isn't that a direct quote from Eleanor Roosevelt?
No, I think it was John Elway.

[Halfcan]

Words to live by. Isn't that a direct quote from Eleanor Roosevelt?

David Bowie I think.

[luv]

Words to live by. Isn't that a direct quote from Eleanor Roosevelt?
I think that was "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Something like that.

[Donger]

Girls think everything is nasty.

No, they don't. Most women are 'nastier' than most men. They just don't have the same hang-ups.

Bottom-line, gents. Go into each and every sexual event with a singular goal: your job is to provide your female with a (and hopefully multiple) G-spot orgasm.

The rest will take care of itself.

[luv]

Now hold on, your other post made it seem like....well l,ik,e it happens all the time and you like in the mouth instead of elswhere because of mess...now this post you seem like an angel that...oh nevermind
You must've misread my other posts.

[Donger]

Yes, it's more of an "ewww" thing. At least for me. I'm sure there are plenty of chicks that like it. And so what if you think it's hot? You've just finished. What's it matter where it goes?

Submission.

[Moooo]

I think that was "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." Something like that.

That was actually some masochist named Frank.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

That's the funny part. The few times I've gone facial on a chick it was awesome to think about it beforehand, but then whenever I'm actually doing it, I switch back into non-horny mode and feel guilty.

Moooo

you mean the chick woke up? That sucks when that happens before you finish-lol

[luv]

No, they don't. Most women are 'nastier' than most men. They just don't have the same hang-ups.

Bottom-line, gents. Go into each and every sexual event with a singular goal: your job is to provide your female with a (and hopefully multiple) G-spot orgasm.

The rest will take care of itself.
Now these are words to live by, gentelemen.

[Rausch]

Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.

That's what you think.

Pink eye = pulling out during a BJ right before launching yer' load so it can be aimed in her eyes causing irritation because she performed in a very unsatisfactory manner...

[Halfcan]

You must've misread my other posts.

I think every guy on here misread that.


"blah blah blah..... I like it in the mouth......blah blah....

You should know by now guys don't pay attention to girls, they hear and read what their dirty little minds make them.

[58-4ever]

How did I know when I got to the end of this thread that it would be dominated by Moooo, Luv, and Halfcan? :hmmm:

[Over-Head]

Some guy gets spunk on my face, it's because he missed my mouth. That would not be happening on purpose.ROFL I can honestly say I would NEVER have seen that post coming

[Moooo]

Now these are words to live by, gentelemen.

The G-Spot is a myth made up by feminists to make them feel bad.

On a more serious note, luv, is that the spot that women say makes them feel like they have to go pee when you hit? I've gotten that a few times where the chick says its great, but it also makes them feel like they have to pee (it was the same girl).

Moooo

[Halfcan]

That's what you think.

Pink eye = pulling out during a BJ right before launching yer' load so it can be aimed in her eyes causing irritation because she performed in a very unsatisfactory manner...

You must have misread Luvs quote also.

[luv]

That's what you think.

Pink eye = pulling out during a BJ right before launching yer' load so it can be aimed in her eyes causing irritation because she performed in a very unsatisfactory manner...
That is just so not right.

[Donger]

Now these are words to live by, gentelemen.

Well, not really. I said, "every sexual event." That's inaccurate. After all, it's kind of hard to stimulate a female orgasm when you're banging a rolled-up piece of carpet. Or so I'm told.

Unless the piece of carpet is female, I suppose.

[luv]

The G-Spot is a myth made up by feminists to make them feel bad.

On a more serious note, luv, is that the spot that women say makes them feel like they have to go pee when you hit? I've gotten that a few times where the chick says its great, but it also makes them feel like they have to pee (it was the same girl).

Moooo
I have had that before. I actually had him stop because I was afraid I would pee on him!

[Moooo]

ROFL I can honestly say I would NEVER have seen that post coming

LOL yeah. It's like, "I think this kinky act is gross, I prefer this even kinkier act instead..."

Not complaining, just interesting. I'd figure it'd the the one way over the other.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

How did I know when I got to the end of this thread that it would be dominated by Moooo, Luv, and Halfcan? :hmmm:


Hey I already posted a disclaimer, showing my disgust at this inapropriate thread. Luv got things going with her "Misread" facial post-lol

[luv]

You must have misread Luvs quote also.
Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.

[Halfcan]

I have had that before. I actually had him stop because I was afraid I would pee on him!

Golden shower anyone???

[chubychecker]

Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.
Thanks for clearing that up :drool:

[Rausch]

That's the funny part. The few times I've gone facial on a chick it was awesome to think about it beforehand, but then whenever I'm actually doing it, I switch back into non-horny mode and feel guilty, even when the chick was the one wanting to do it.

[Halfcan]

Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.

I will keep that in mind-har har

[luv]

LOL yeah. It's like, "I think this kinky act is gross, I prefer this even kinkier act instead..."

Not complaining, just interesting. I'd figure it'd the the one way over the other.

Moooo
Having a girl swallow is kinkier than having it all over her face?

[Moooo]

Having a girl swallow is kinkier than having it all over her face?

I think its hotter, IMO.

I could get into the details, but its really confusing as to why I think it is.

Moooo

[T-post Tom]

Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.

And suddenly, half 'the Planet' were typing with one hand...

[Halfcan]

Thanks for clearing that up :drool:

So spunk does clear up acne-there you go learn something new everyday.

[luv]

Golden shower anyone???
Another time, I actually had him stop so I could go in to the bathroom. Am I avoiding an embarrassing situation, or should I let it happen?

[Halfcan]

Having a girl swallow is kinkier than having it all over her face?

To be honest, it doesn't matter, both would be fine.

[Halfcan]

Another time, I actually had him stop so I could go in to the bathroom. Am I avoiding an embarrassing situation, or should I let it happen?

Umm, my guess is the guy probably doesn't want a face full of piss.

[chubychecker]

So spunk does clear up acne-there you go learn something new everyday.

Left myself open for that one. :banghead:

[Rausch]

Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.

I have a feeling that some part deep inside your father just died a little...

[Moooo]

Another time, I actually had him stop so I could go in to the bathroom. Am I avoiding an embarrassing situation, or should I let it happen?

I've heard that's how a chick learns how to squirt. I think that's really weird personally, but I've heard some guys think its hot.

If that is how you do it (which would be a comical process to find out), it would depend on the guy you were with as to whether or not he would.

Moooo

[luv]

Umm, my guess is the guy probably doesn't want a face full of piss.
ROFL

I guess not. I'm just not really experienced at the whole sex thing (got started late in life). I really should be drinking while posting this embarrassing stuff that will be used against me later...lol.

[Rausch]

Another time, I actually had him stop so I could go in to the bathroom. Am I avoiding an embarrassing situation

Eh........................So far, no...

[Donger]

Another time, I actually had him stop so I could go in to the bathroom. Am I avoiding an embarrassing situation, or should I let it happen?

Go to the bathroom BEFORE sex.

What you felt was most likely a G-spot orgasm coming on, which feels (apparently) like you have to pee.

[Halfcan]

Left myself open for that one. :banghead:


I wouldn't say "open" on this thread-you might get mesread-lol

I figured when you guys started talking about a mouthful of spunk-all the Donks fans would show up.

[Over-Head]

Paging Mr. Gochiefs....ROFL

[Rausch]

Umm, my guess is the guy probably doesn't want a face full of piss.

I met a prostitute that insisted she's had numerous men PAY for just that kind of thing.

:shake:

[Moooo]

Go to the bathroom BEFORE sex.

What you felt was most likely a G-spot orgasm coming on, which feels (apparently) like you have to pee.

You might wanna clear this up with the guy beforehand, cause that's a good way to lose a bf.

If it was me, she'd have to do some explaining if she didn't warn me beforehand and I didn't go along with it.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

ROFL

I guess not. I'm just not really experienced at the whole sex thing (got started late in life). I really should be drinking while posting this embarrassing stuff that will be used against me later...lol.

Yeah I suppose you are a bit inexpierenced...."Having you ever been EXPERIENCED""

You need a personal instructor...Pageing Dr. Halfcan...

[Rausch]

You might wanna clear this up with the guy beforehand, cause that's a good way to lose a bf.

Or get knocked the **** out...

[Over-Head]

Just so you are clear, I prefer it in the mouth, and not all over my face.
Clear your PM's darlen, I'm thinking that post get's some attention ROFL

[Moooo]

I met a prostitute that insisted she's had numerous men PAY for just that kind of thing.

:shake:

I read somewhere that most fetish prostitutes don't even have sex. All the guys want is their weird fetish to be fulfilled and then they're done.

Moooo

[Donger]

You might wanna clear this up with the guy beforehand, cause that's a good way to lose a bf.

If it was me, she'd have to do some explaining if she didn't warn me beforehand and I didn't go along with it.

Moooo

Warn you about what? That she was going to pee?

[Halfcan]

I met a prostitute that insisted she's had numerous men PAY for just that kind of thing.

:shake:
:huh: :eek: :donks:

[luv]

You might wanna clear this up with the guy beforehand, cause that's a good way to lose a bf.

If it was me, she'd have to do some explaining if she didn't warn me beforehand and I didn't go along with it.

Moooo
I'm a good communicator. This is definitely something I would talk over.

[Rausch]

Warn you about what? That she was going to pee?

I'm thinking that falls under common courtesy, yeah...

[Moooo]

Warn you about what? That she was going to pee?

Yes. Especially if she's never done it before. If its something she knows she wouldn't have to explain, but if we're trying this for the first time I would like to know if something is possibly going awry (like her desire to pee).

Moooo

[Halfcan]

I read somewhere that most fetish prostitutes don't even have sex. All the guys want is their weird fetish to be fulfilled and then they're done.

Moooo

Oh you "READ" that somewhere huh??

[luv]

Warn you about what? That she was going to pee?
I would tell him how it feels, that I've never fully experienced it before, and ask him what would happen if I did actually end up peeing.

[Rausch]

:huh: :eek: :donks:

No, I didn't bang her. Or touch her for that matter.

You don't meet a prostitute every day so I pretty much just fed her drinks and milked her for info...

[Moooo]

I'm a good communicator. This is definitely something I would talk over.

That's cause you are cool.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

This thread is turning into a Letter to Hustler.

[luv]

I read somewhere that most fetish prostitutes don't even have sex. All the guys want is their weird fetish to be fulfilled and then they're done.

Moooo
Hmmm....

So what's your fetish?

Hey, I should use that as a pick up line...lol.

[Donger]

I'm thinking that falls under common courtesy, yeah...

No, no. I meant as in the gal saying (before things got heavy), "Wait I have to go pee."

[Over-Head]

I'm a good communicator. This is definitely something I would talk over. Oh boy.
I can see the "Pillow talk" now
" ahh, just to make it clear before we start is it all right if I piss on your head?"

[Rausch]

Oh you "READ" that somewhere huh??

All over her face, apparently...

[luv]

No, I didn't bang her. Or touch her for that matter.

You don't meet a prostitute every day so I pretty much just fed her drinks and milked her for info...
If I tell you I'm a prostitute, will you feed me drinks, too?

[Halfcan]

No, I didn't bang her. Or touch her for that matter.

You don't meet a prostitute every day so I pretty much just fed her drinks and milked her for info...


Isn't she suppose to milk you-lol

[luv]

Oh boy.
I can see the "Pillow talk" now
" ahh, just to make it clear before we start is it all right if I piss on your head?"
ROFL

[Moooo]

Hmmm....

So what's your fetish?

Hey, I should use that as a pick up line...lol.

But then you wouldn't get any. All the guys would be like, "Let me smell your feet!" And then that would be it.

Moooo

[Over-Head]

This thread is turning into a Letter to Hustler.Or another candidate for the Hall of Classics

[Rausch]

No, no. I meant as in the gal saying (before things got heavy), "Wait I have to go pee."

Yes, yes, I'd think that falls under common courtesy.

[luv]

No, no. I meant as in the gal saying (before things got heavy), "Wait I have to go pee."
I've done that. It's embarrassing, but I'd rather do that than pee all over him.

[Halfcan]

If I tell you I'm a prostitute, will you feed me drinks, too?


Umm oh nevermind...

[Rausch]

If I tell you I'm a prostitute, will you feed me drinks, too?

Now there's something you don't hear every day...

[luv]

But then you wouldn't get any. All the guys would be like, "Let me smell your feet!" And then that would be it.

Moooo
Hey, as long as you're willing to pay for that. More power to ya. Hope you don't have a strong sense of smell. Which you don't, do you? :hmmm:

[Halfcan]

Or another candidate for the Hall of Classics

Bunch of Pervs on here-excluding myself of course.

[Moooo]

Oh you "READ" that somewhere huh??

I believe it was in my semimonthly subscription to "Fetish gazette"

Moooo

[Over-Head]

If I tell you I'm a prostitute, will you feed me drinks, too? Yep, and probably promise to respect ya in the morning too :thumb:

[luv]

Now there's something you don't hear every day...
You said you didn't sleep with her, so I could get drinks and not have to worry about you wanting to get in my pants.

[Moooo]

Hey, as long as you're willing to pay for that. More power to ya. Hope you don't have a strong sense of smell. Which you don't, do you? :hmmm:

No... That's not for me.

You'd be okay with your job being getting paid to have people sniff your feet? I'd be freaked out.

Moooo

[Rausch]

But then you wouldn't get any. All the guys would be like, "Let me smell your feet!" And then that would be it.

Moooo

One of my best friend's girlfriends works at a women's clothing store in Caesar's Palace and she said that one of her employees has a deal worked out with some freak where he pays her $800 a month to give him her worn shoes.

Swear to Christ.

She has to wear them for 2 weeks first though and they have to be different shoes every time. She gets new shoes every 2 weeks AND this pervert douche pays her rent...

[Donger]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.

[Halfcan]

I believe it was in my semimonthly subscription to "Fetish gazette"

Moooo

Nice One!!

[Rausch]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off?

I'm not going to share some intimate info she'd castrate me for so I'll just say that I really don't have to worry about her getting off...

[Moooo]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.

I used to get a guilt trip laid on me by my ex cause I would be totally content with her getting hers and me not getting any. I was like, "Who bitches about this!?!"

Personally, I just really don't care about myself during sex. Its fun and all, but as far as the big O I'll take it or leave it without too much frustration...

Moooo

[Halfcan]

No... That's not for me.

You'd be okay with your job being getting paid to have people sniff your feet? I'd be freaked out.

Moooo

Hell for a hundred bucks they can have my work socks.

[luv]

I'm not going to share some intimate info she'd castrate me for so I'll just say that I really don't have to worry about her getting off...
That's not a question of intimacy, that's a question of motive.

[Rausch]

I used to get a guilt trip laid on me by my ex cause I would be totally content with her getting hers and me not getting any. I was like, "Who bitches about this!?!"

Personally, I just really don't care about myself during sex. Its fun and all, but as far as the big O I'll take it or leave it without too much frustration...

Moooo

[Over-Head]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.What’s a Truck drivers version of foreplay?"Get in the bunk bitch"

[Moooo]

I'm not going to share some intimate info she'd castrate me for so I'll just say that I really don't have to worry about her getting off...

I was with a girl who had an orgasm when I was licking her ear. She said it was because she had a crush on me for a long time. Either way, it made for an interesting night. I didn't believe her at first, but she admitted to it even after we broke up so...

She turned out to be a psycho.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Oh you were serious??

[Donger]

I'm not going to share some intimate info she'd castrate me for so I'll just say that I really don't have to worry about her getting off...

I knew a girl like that in high school. The 'orgasm if I tweak her nipples' type.

Not very challenging.

[Halfcan]

That guy in that pic has a cow face.

[Rausch]

That's not a question of intimacy, that's a question of motive.

No, it's a question of intimacy.

Let's just say that if sex were a race she'd always win...

[Moooo]

What’s a Truck drivers version of foreplay?"Get in the bunk bitch"

That's even funnier when you think about it with "East Bound and Down" playing in the background.

[luv]

I used to get a guilt trip laid on me by my ex cause I would be totally content with her getting hers and me not getting any. I was like, "Who bitches about this!?!"

Personally, I just really don't care about myself during sex. Its fun and all, but as far as the big O I'll take it or leave it without too much frustration...

Moooo
You know how you'd feel if she got you off, but you were unable to get her off? She probably felt the same way. She feels good, having gotten off, but she's also disappointed that she couldn't do the same for you. At least, that's how I'd feel.

[Rausch]

She turned out to be a psycho.

Moooo

Odds are she was always a female then, and at least you've got that going for ya'...

[luv]

No, it's a question of intimacy.

Let's just say that if sex were a race she'd always win...
I'm just the opposite. Seems like it takes me forever.

[Moooo]

I knew a girl like that in high school. The 'orgasm if I tweak her nipples' type.

Not very challenging.

I totally disagree. I knew a girl like this. The key is to get them something different from the norm. She would go nuts if I would tease her for a while before letter her have one. She said it felt more intense.

With a girl who takes forever, (try and) give her a faster one, and it will seem more intense to her, cause its a deviation from the norm.

Moooo

[Over-Head]

I'm just the opposite. Seems like it takes me forever.Try new batteries ROFL

[luv]

Odds are she was always a female then, and at least you've got that going for ya'...
Hey now.

[Moooo]

You know how you'd feel if she got you off, but you were unable to get her off? She probably felt the same way. She feels good, having gotten off, but she's also disappointed that she couldn't do the same for you. At least, that's how I'd feel.

But I don't care. I'm not bragging cause I don't think its my own greatness, but I've had luck of having girlfriends with mostly quick triggers in my day. So I don't know what its like really, cause they always wanted to.

Like I said, I just don't care one way or another.

Moooo

[luv]

Try new batteries ROFL
Actually, it's pretty quick when I'm using BOB.

[Moooo]

Try new batteries ROFL

See the cattle prod thread... LOL

KIDDDING, LUV!!! :)

[luv]

But I don't care. I'm not bragging cause I don't think its my own greatness, but I've had luck of having girlfriends with mostly quick triggers in my day. So I don't know what its like really, cause they always wanted to.

Like I said, I just don't care one way or another.

Moooo
For me, it's a sense of accomplishment. I'm happy for them, but I'm also happy for me. That, and I just like seeing that oh-face.

[Moooo]

Actually, it's pretty quick when I'm using BOB.

Then it can be quick with the right guy... I mean, you couldn't get me to be quick if I was with a chick who had no clue what I liked and wouldn't listen to me. Maybe its the same thing...

Moooo

[Halfcan]

Nothing like a good SEX thread to bring out the night crew. Pervs!

[Over-Head]

See the cattle prod thread... LOL

KIDDDING, LUV!!! :)
:eek:

[Over-Head]

For me, it's a sense of accomplishment. I'm happy for them, but I'm also happy for me. That, and I just like seeing that oh-face.There’s nothing funnier than a fu*k face

[luv]

Nothing like a good SEX thread to bring out the night crew. Pervs!
This is more like it. I hate boring nights on here. And I tend to dirty minded.

[Donger]

I totally disagree. I knew a girl like this. The key is to get them something different from the norm. She would go nuts if I would tease her for a while before letter her have one. She said it felt more intense.

With a girl who takes forever, (try and) give her a faster one, and it will seem more intense to her, cause its a deviation from the norm.

Moooo

Well, yes; that goes without saying.

I've always enjoyed discussing such things with partners. Ask and discuss what your female likes and wants. She's already letting you stick your dick in her; asking her and learning (if it's not demonstrably evident) what gets her motor to redline shouldn't be an issue.

[Moooo]

This is more like it. I hate boring nights on here. And I tend to dirty minded.

LOL... I think we may have hit a lull point. Say something else, luv.

All eyes on you!

Moooo

[luv]

Well, yes; that goes without saying.

I've always enjoyed discussing such things with partners. Ask and discuss what your female likes and wants. She's already letting you stick your dick in her; asking her and learning (if it's not demonstrably evident) what gets her motor to redline shouldn't be an issue.
Do you want it to be quick, though?

[Moooo]

Well, yes; that goes without saying.

I've always enjoyed discussing such things with partners. Ask and discuss what your female likes and wants. She's already letting you stick your dick in her; asking her and learning (if it's not demonstrably evident) what gets her motor to redline shouldn't be an issue.

You know, this conversation is even more interesting when I envision having it with Robert Oppenheimer. ROFL

In all seriousness, I'll take the quick trigger any day. That's a blessing from god. Its only downfall is that I'm the guy who likes being on bottom, and the chicks can't keep going if they're too quick.

Moooo

[Halfcan]

This is more like it. I hate boring nights on here. And I tend to dirty minded.

You can PM all those dirty thoughts to me, if that will help you clear your head.

Whoops I said Head, oh shit,.......whoops that pisses me off I said shit-gross i didn't mean piss as in golden showers, twat did I say, tits okay I will finger it out later.

[Donger]

Do you want it to be quick, though?

The amount of time expended is mostly irrelevant, IMO. Sex is goal oriented, not time-oriented.

[Over-Head]

This is more like it. I hate boring nights on here. And I tend to dirty minded.Then I must have really spiced things up Thursday night :D

[Moooo]

The amount of time expended is mostly irrelevant, IMO. Sex is goal oriented, not time-oriented.

"You think that's good sex? I could have done that same thing in 28 seconds!"

I heard a comedian say that once.

Moooo

[Over-Head]

World class sex can be long/short doesn’t matter.
Once you find what works stick with it.
But IMO there's nothing like simultaneous orgasms with your partner.(after you've made her scream for god at least a dozen times :D

[luv]

The amount of time expended is mostly irrelevant, IMO. Sex is goal oriented, not time-oriented.
To me, quickies are for daytime. Nooners, if you will. I guess if you have to get up and go to work the next morning, it would be different too. To me, nighttime is about foreplay as well as sex, so it would take a little longer. I feel more sensual giving a massage in the dark by candlelight. During the day, I'm different.

[Rausch]

"You think that's good sex? I could have done that same thing in 28 seconds!"


I can't think of anything realted to sex that only takes 28 seconds...

[Moooo]

To me, quickies are for daytime. Nooners, if you will. I guess if you have to get up and go to work the next morning, it would be different too. To me, nighttime is about foreplay as well as sex, so it would take a little longer. I feel more sesual giving a massage in the dark by candlelight. During the day, I'm different.

At least you have a choice. My body doesn't know the meaning of the term "quickie." It gets kinda annoying when if you want to get something yourself, you have to invest a ton of time and energy into it.

Sometimes after a hard day, you don't want to have to down a bottle of water afterwards...

Moooo

[Donger]

Do you want it to be quick, though?

And luv, no, most men (unless they are really tired) do NOT want it to be 'quick.' I'm sure you know this, but most men view 'going a long time' to be a sign of their virility.

[Over-Head]

To me, quickies are for daytime. Nooners, if you will. I guess if you have to get up and go to work the next morning, it would be different too. To me, nighttime is about foreplay as well as sex, so it would take a little longer. I feel more sensual giving a massage in the dark by candlelight. During the day, I'm different.Your gonna give goat boy a wet dream, ya know that right??

[Halfcan]

And luv, no, most men (unless they are really tired) do NOT want it to be 'quick.' I'm sure you know this, but most men view 'going a long time' to be a sign of their virility.

didn't Chris Rock, talk about that once-"F#ck her dry, til she starts to cry."

[Over-Head]

I can't think of anything realted to sex that only takes 28 seconds... turning off the light

[Halfcan]

I can't think of anything realted to sex that only takes 28 seconds...

Donks choking in the Championship game.

[SLAG]

turning off the light


Who Turns off the light?

[Moooo]

Who Turns off the light?

<--- In total agreeance with this statement...

Moooo

[luv]

Donks choking in the Championship game.
How is that related to sex?

[Moooo]

How is that related to sex?

Never go to Halfcan's house on a Sunday (or anyday for that matter).

Moooo

[luv]

Who Turns off the light?
I like daytime sex. Just something about it. But if it's dark, turn out the lights and light the candles.

[Halfcan]

I can't think of anything realted to sex that only takes 28 seconds...

Thats how long it will take before the Faders season will be over. Sorry OH-but it is true-lol


That is how long it takes Jake the Fake to run someone off the road.

[Halfcan]

That is how long the last American Idols career will last.

[Donger]

I like daytime sex. Just something about it. But if it's dark, turn out the lights and light the candles.

Peh. Kidless sex is easy. Wait until you have kids.

Talk about a paradigm shift.

[Over-Head]

How is that related to sex? This is the planet darlen, we’ll make it work somehow

[Moooo]

Peh. Kidless sex is easy. Wait until you have kids.

Talk about a paradigm shift.

I'm sure its like trying to have sex with your parents in the house, only for 18 years straight.

Moooo

[Over-Head]

Well got to go, it’s 5:30am, been up since 3 (couldn’t sleep) must go back to bed and wake up the wife :hump:

[Nzoner]

Well hell I was just going to have one last smoke and check out the planet before passing out and I see this thread.

[luv]

Well hell I was just going to have one last smoke and check out the planet before passing out and I see this thread.
Welcome to Sex Ed 101. Possibly 201.

[Donger]

I'm sure its like trying to have sex with your parents in the house, only for 18 years straight.

Moooo

Uhh, no. It's not like trying to have sex with your parents. At least, I don't think so. Then again, I've never tried to do that.

[luv]

Uhh, no. It's not like trying to have sex with your parents. At least, I don't think so. Then again, I've never tried to do that.
With your parents in the house. Talk about trying to be quiet. Imagine having sex at your in-law's house. Wait, wasn't it you that got walked in on? Never mind.

[Over-Head]

Well hell I was just going to have one last smoke and check out the planet before passing out and I see this thread. Here’s a quick re-cap
Luv’s got her freak on
Halfcan’s drooling
Me and Moooo are chasing people around with cattle prod’s
Rausch is holding back on the good stuff.

That about cover it?

[Moooo]

Uhh, no. It's not like trying to have sex with your parents. At least, I don't think so. Then again, I've never tried to do that.

Excuse my misplaced modifier... JEEZ!

It's like trying to have sex while your parents are in the house with you.

Freakin grammar police around here... IT'S 3AM!

Moooo

[Halfcan]

How is that related to sex?

It has nothing to do with nothing-I just like saying that the Donks Choked away a SB.

I was going on the theme of: things that take less than 28 seconds.

Like the amount of time it takes Gochief to log off beofre his Mom catches him looking at the naughty sites again. or

28 seconds;
The amount of time it took me to post more useless filler, which like most of my post, usually don't add any meaningful thought or ideas to the discusion, but are just inchoherently poorly spelled, Hyjacking bullshit.

[Nzoner]

Welcome to Sex Ed 101. Possibly 201.

Shit,I passed those courses years ago.after 43 years I've got a doctor's degree

[Moooo]

Here’s a quick re-cap
Luv’s got her freak on
Halfcan’s drooling
Me and Moooo are chasing people around with cattle prod’s
Rausch is holding back on the good stuff.

That about cover it?

Moooo + cattle prod = sweet revenge

[Over-Head]

With your parents in the house. Talk about trying to be quiet. Imagine having sex at your in-law's house. Wait, wasn't it you that got walked in on? Never mind. Talk about hit a nerve!
Me and the Mrs have been sharing a house with her mother for 3 years. Trying to help her get the bills taken care of etc.
(our house is gonna be ready next week PBJ)
ITS WORSE than having kids

[Donger]

With your parents in the house. Talk about trying to be quiet. Imagine having sex at your in-law's house. Wait, wasn't it you that got walked in on? Never mind.

My MiL walked in on my wife giving me head while she was staying at our house, yes.

[Nzoner]

Talk about hit a nerve!
Me and the Mrs have been sharing her mother for 3 years.

Yep,I'm drunk,I read it like that

[Halfcan]

Excuse my misplaced modifier... JEEZ!

It's like trying to have sex while your parents are in the house with you.

Freakin grammar police around here... IT'S 3AM!

Moooo

The Repost Police are monitoring this thread-but not the grammar police.

Soon to be the Dream police-they live inside of my head....whoops said head again.

[Donger]

Excuse my misplaced modifier... JEEZ!

It's like trying to have sex while your parents are in the house with you.

Freakin grammar police around here... IT'S 3AM!

Moooo

I believe in accuracy and precision in everything I do, regardless of time of day.

[Moooo]

Talk about hit a nerve!
Me and the Mrs have been sharing a house with her mother for 3 years. Trying to help her get the bills taken care of etc.
(our house is gonna be ready next week PBJ)
ITS WORSE than having kids

I can only guess you're planning the "initiation" of every room? That's what I did in my first place of my own... But there were only two rooms and the bathroom so it wasn't that difficult to do.

Moooo

[luv]

Yep,I'm drunk,I read it like that
ROFL

[Halfcan]

Here’s a quick re-cap
Luv’s got her freak on
Halfcan’s listening to Rush.
Me and Moooo are chasing people around with cattle prod’s
Rausch is holding back on the good stuff.

That about cover it?

Fixed your post.

[Moooo]

My MiL walked in on my wife giving me head while she was staying at our house, yes.

Awesome... I think that's just what they get for being dumb.

When I'm at someone else's house, I walk around like I've got wooden clogs on and announce myself whenever I enter a room.

Moooo

[Over-Head]

My MiL walked in on my wife giving me head while she was staying at our house, yes.
At least you wern’t balls deep groaning when she came home a day eairly:banghead:

[Moooo]

At least you wern’t balls deep groaning when she came home a day eairly:banghead:

Your WIFE came home early? That WOULD be a problem ROFL

JK

Moooo

[Over-Head]

Fixed your post. :thumb:

[Halfcan]

I can only guess you're planning the "initiation" of every room? That's what I did in my first place of my own... But there were only two rooms and the bathroom so it wasn't that difficult to do.

Moooo

You initiated in your own place on your own??

[Moooo]

You initiated in your own place on your own??

I don't know how to answer you... There was a chick involved.

I didn't go spanking it in every room, that's just weird.

Moooo

[Nzoner]

A question for the men here: do you not go into every sex act with your female with your primary goal being to get her off? I'm obviously excluding getting blown, quicky hand job, et al.

Oh hell yes

[Halfcan]

Awesome... I think that's just what they get for being dumb.

When I'm at someone else's house, I walk around like I've got wooden clogs on and announce myself whenever I enter a room.

Moooo

Wooden clogs-you know what it sounds like when you are wearing clogs?? Are you a donks fan-lol

[Moooo]

Wooden clogs-you know what it sounds like when you are wearing clogs?? Are you a donks fan-lol

That was my point. I make LOTS of noise... Its just who I am.

Moooo

[SLAG]

At least you wern’t balls deep groaning when she came home a day eairly:banghead:

http://www.movieactors.com/characters/freezes1/JonLevitz5.jpeg

Yeah i walked in on mom and dad..

WHAT A HORRIBLE THING FOR A CHILD TO SEE..


.....no this was last week.... mom and dad were on the kitchen table... was fruit was flying everywhere.......

[Over-Head]

Your WIFE came home early? That WOULD be a problem ROFL

JK

Moooo
No, the problem was we were on the living room floor :banghead: