Why do women instist on telling the man how to drive?

[PastorMikH]

I just don't understand it. This is one of our main areas of squable. She doesn't ever want to drive, but wants to constantly critique mine. Tonight for example, we pull out of the local Pizza joint and she wants some Ice Cream so she asks me to take her to McDonalds. No problem, or so I think. Now, the roads where McDonalds is located in town are a bit different. A 4 lane road is the main drag from the highway on one side of town to the highway on the other side of town. McDonalds is located on a side road right before you get on the highway. The lanes split, the left lane becomes the on ramp to the highway while the right lane takes you up to the intersection where McDs is at. Anyhow, I'm about 150-200 yards from the intersection and she starts fussing that I'm going to fast, not paying attention and about to hit the median (it's painted, not concrete or anything like that). I'm starting to look and try to figure out what she's talking about - I, nor the two oldest girls understood her problem. She starts fussing all the more because now that I'm questioning her, I'm REALLY not paying attention (according to her). Now shes REALLY, REALLY mad at me because I turned around in the lot of the business immediately before McD's drive and came home without her ice cream.

I know I'm not the only guy with this problem. Shoot, even Jim Stanford, at his show in Branson this Spring cracked a joke about his wife always driving everywhere they go, all he does is sit in the car and hold the wheel.

So, why do women insist on always telling us men how to drive?

[unlurking]

In my experience, it is because they are horrible drivers and have usually had accidents that make them fearful. They can't trust anyone else driving, nor themselves to put it bluntly. (At least this is the case of my wife and female relatives.)

[Wile_E_Coyote]

why are we always going to fast

[ImAWalkingCorpse]

In my experience, it is because they are horrible drivers and have usually had accidents that make them fearful. They can't trust anyone else driving, nor themselves to put it bluntly. (At least this is the case of my wife and female relatives.)

Very good and correct answer.

[PastorMikH]

why are we always going to fast


And it really doesn't matter how many people are passing us at the time either.

[Moooo]

Greatest thing I ever heard about this came from my parents.

My mom is nagging my dad...
Dad: Do you have a license to drive from that side of the car?
Mom: Yes I do, it's called a marriage license.

They're divorced now...

Moooo

[Mr. Laz]

in my experience, women just live to nag


in a car they have you trapped and in the middle of doing something.... perfect chance to nag the heck out of you.

you can't run and you can't just hand the wheel to them and say "do it yourself"



curiously, if you nag them they will usually cry or some such nonsense and act like "everyone is always so mean to me"

[luv]

why are we always going to fast
I'm usually the one that goes too fast. And I would much rather have someone else drive. Having someone else in the car with me when I'm driving makes me nervous. I blame my mother for that.

[PastorMikH]

you can't run and you can't just hand the wheel to them and say "do it yourself"





Actually, I have looked on Ebay from time to time for a steering wheel from a van like ours that I can just hand to her when she gets to complaining. I just haven't found one yet.

[milkman]

In my experience, it is because they are horrible drivers and have usually had accidents that make them fearful. They can't trust anyone else driving, nor themselves to put it bluntly. (At least this is the case of my wife and female relatives.)


in my experience, women just live to nag

In other words, those that can, do.

Those that can't, nag?

[Bugeater]

I usually have the road rage thing going before I even get backed out of the driveway. My wife knows better than to add to it.

[Wile_E_Coyote]

maybe they think we are in a hurry to get out of being in a car with them. Women just think from a totally different angle than men

[morphius]

They get so used to telling the kids "no" and that they are wrong that it carries over to you as well. You're kids eat to fast, you change channels to fast, kids need to be careful and look where they are walking at {insert store name}, you need to look where you are driving and be careful...

morphius
that almost makes sense...

[KCFalcon59]

It's a hundred times worse when they are pregnant. Absolute hell driving them anywhere.

[ImAWalkingCorpse]

It's a hundred times worse when they are pregnant. Absolute hell driving them anywhere.

Thats what trunks are for.

[ZepSinger]

Beats me. Mrs. Zep alternates between "You drive like a grandpa" and "you're gonna get picked up if you don't slow down". This on the very same stretch of road. :banghead:

[Rain Man]

I often wonder what my wife thinks happens when I drive alone. Based on her behavior when she's in the car, she must think that I spend most of my time lost and hitting things. I have more than once been tempted to ram the car into a light pole or something, and then start yelling, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TO AVOID THE LIGHT POLE? WHY!?!?!"

[stevieray]

[QUOTE=Rain Man]I often wonder what my wife thinks happens when I drive alone. QUOTE]

How you can see the road with the glare from the orange pants?

[Rain Man]

[QUOTE=Rain Man]I often wonder what my wife thinks happens when I drive alone. QUOTE]

How you can see the road with the glare from the orange pants?


I wear brown sunglasses. It's some sort of prismatic thing.

[PastorMikH]

... I have more than once been tempted to ram the car into a light pole or something, and then start yelling, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TO AVOID THE LIGHT POLE? WHY!?!?!"



ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL

[BucEyedPea]

Nope...I ain't buying. Not this gal. :harumph:

It's men that tell women how to drive.

We just want y'all to ask for directions on occassion.:(

Is that asking too much? :banghead:

[Stinger]

Is that asking too much? :banghead:

Yes it is

[PastorMikH]

Nope...I ain't buying. Not this gal. :harumph:

It's men that tell women how to drive.

We just want y'all to ask for directions on occassion.:(

Is that asking too much? :banghead:


But, we don't need directions. We just act lost because we are irritated at all the comments we've already gotten.

[BucEyedPea]

But, we don't need directions. We just act lost because we are irritated at all the comments we've already gotten.

Bleh! You've been like that for thousands of years.

Why do you think Moses wandered in the desert for so long.
ROFL

[ck_IN]

<i>Women just think from a totally different angle than men</i>

I reject your basic premise. Personally I've seen no evidence that thinking takes place in a woman.

<i>We just want y'all to ask for directions on occassion.</i>

Why should I waste all that time? I know where I'm going. Sometimes I just take alternate routes.

[PastorMikH]

Bleh! You've been like that for thousands of years.

Why do you think Moses wandered in the desert for so long.
ROFL


It's a guy thing. Moses was sending the same message to his wife that we send to ours, "So help me woman, if you don't quit nagging, I'll make us even later!"

[greg63]

Because she knows it bugs ya.

[Predarat]

Whnever my wife does that crap ill pull over and park the car until she agress to STFU, get into the driver seat, or give me a BJ right then and there(That doesnt work when the kid is in the car). All I know is nagging annoys the hell out of me.

[morphius]

Nope...I ain't buying. Not this gal. :harumph:

It's men that tell women how to drive.

We just want y'all to ask for directions on occassion.:(

Is that asking too much? :banghead:
No we don't. We sit there with our teeth clinched, grabbing the oh shit handle, with our feet pressed to the floor board, while grunting nerviously as you barely miss that semi by a full half an inch.

[StcChief]

No we don't. We sit there with our teeth clinched, grabbing the oh shit handle, with our feet pressed to the floor board, while grunting nerviously as you barely miss that semi by a full half an inch.

No Doubt.

The saying 'Those who can do, those who can't teach (or try in this case).'

when they are passengers:

Give them something else todo Read a book, magazine.

[greg63]

But, we don't need directions. We just act lost because we are irritated at all the comments we've already gotten.

Women don't get lost; they just change wherever it is they're going.

[JimNasium]

It's questions like this that make me wonder why God put something as wonderful as a vagina on something as hateful as a woman. Further proof that the heavenly realm has one heck of a sense of humor.

[Mr. Laz]

It's questions like this that make me wonder why God put something as wonderful as a vagina on something as hateful as a woman. Further proof that the heavenly realm has one heck of a sense of humor.

nah ... he put a vagina on them so men would have to put up with their crap.

gotta give them 1 redeeming quality :p

[BIG_DADDY]

I never understood this one either. lil momma is the only woman I have ever been with that does it. She is not bad but it still drives me nuts. :cuss:

[Rain Man]

It's questions like this that make me wonder why God put something as wonderful as a vagina on something as hateful as a woman. Further proof that the heavenly realm has one heck of a sense of humor.

I think it's Darwinism. It's like how some fish have that little dangly thing on their forehead that looks a worm.

[Moooo]

It's questions like this that make me wonder why God put something as wonderful as a vagina on something as hateful as a woman. Further proof that the heavenly realm has one heck of a sense of humor.

This reminds me of a quality sexist joke...

Q: What do you call the excess skin around a vagina?

A: The woman

Funny thing is my best friend and his fiancee this is opposite. She's all laid back and relaxed about stuff, and he's like, "HEY, this car is getting over!"

Moooo

[Hammock Parties]

Sounds like your wife is a bit of a bitch.

[Moooo]

Sounds like your wife is a bit of a bitch.

If she's a bitch, then all women are after they get married.

I'm still single, but I'm smart enough to observe my surroundings. I have yet to see a married couple not bicker about something back and forth that in the grand scheme of things means nothing. Its not like that until you're with them a long time, and then, its like married people's way of putting up with all crap that annoys the hell out of them by living with this over person.

I've had a few gfs do this stuff to me. I am the king of letting it roll off my back, however I once pulled the car over and told her if she thought she could do a better job to do it and until then to stop being critical.

She stopped.

Moooo

[PastorMikH]

Sounds like your wife is a bit of a...




You MIGHT learn after a while that all of them have the ability to be a pain. That is if you ever find one that will put up with you long enough to start being a pain.

[greg63]

You MIGHT learn after a while that all of them have the ability to be a pain. That is if you ever find one that will put up with you long enough to start being a pain.

Eh; GoChiefs is just jealous.

[Hammock Parties]

You MIGHT learn after a while that all of them have the ability to be a pain.

We all have the ability to be a pain. Supressing that ability is what separates the assholes and bitches from the good people.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Granted my wife is considerably younger than I am. I've found though that if you give them a little domestic discipline they won't whine nearly as much. Some of the older people of the board know what I'm talking about. Back in the day it was SOP to give your wife a slap on the ass when she got out of line. The feminists movement happened and now they think they can act however they want. Try it sometime, it'll work.

[kindra68]

Maybe it’s selective memory but I don’t think I nag when I’m in somebody else’s car. Then again I think to myself,” hell if they haven’t killed themselves thus far, I guess they are doing ok.”

[Nzoner]

My mrs doesn't care for rock music so loud she can't think,therefore she has learned not to nag me while I'm driving.

[ck_IN]

<i>Sounds like your wife is a bit of a bitch.</i>

You are totally clueless about women aren't you?

My wife has three habits that drive me nuts. Take those away and she's a saint. I'm sure I have a few that get on her nerves. It's just the normal give and take.

[BucEyedPea]

:hmmm: Hmmmmm...men are good for removing tops on ketchup bottles and for getting things from high shelves. :p

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Hmmmmm...men are good for removing tops on ketchup bottles and for getting things from high shelves.


That's not all we're good for honey :p

[morphius]

:hmmm: Hmmmmm...men are good for removing tops on ketchup bottles and for getting things from high shelves. :p
ketchup? Man I can't remember the last time I had to fight to flip the cap open on one of those, you must be old :D

morphius
running and hiding.

[Rain Man]

My right arm is longer than my left arm, so I'm better at getting things off of high shelves if I'm facing in a particular direction.

[BucEyedPea]

ketchup? Man I can't remember the last time I had to fight to flip the cap open on one of those, you must be old :D

morphius
running and hiding.


Well, that's true, it did pass my mind...then change it to pickle jars!

[PastorMikH]

My right arm is longer than my left arm, so I'm better at getting things off of high shelves if I'm facing in a particular direction.


That right arm being longer is also handy when you're driving and she tries to dodge the slap isn't it?;):)



And Nzoner, I have threatened to put Hank Sr. in the CD deck, never had to though. The trip the other night was too short and the nagging too sudden for such tactics.

[BucEyedPea]

I don't recall ever telling a man how to drive...I have disagreed about directions en route somewhere. Other than that I'll admit to being a screamer or completely freakin-out...when things have gotten hairy. :eek:

Seems to me men tell woman how to drive more or complain about female drivin' a LOT more.

[morphius]

Well, that's true, it did pass my mind...then change it to pickle jars!
I thought, "Pickle jar, sure. But ketchup?", LOL.

[Hammock Parties]

That right arm being longer is also handy when you're driving and she tries to dodge the slap isn't it?;):)



And Nzoner, I have threatened to put Hank Sr. in the CD deck, never had to though. The trip the other night was too short and the nagging too sudden for such tactics.

OMG! Hank Sr? That would scary anyone...regardless of gender.

[ck_IN]

What's scarier is Hank Williams III. He was appearing at a local club here in Indy and a radio station played a few clips.

I almost dislocated my arm changing the station.