WORST strip club ever

[TinyEvel]

Man.

I just went down to the OC for an Angels game with some of my college buddies, and we hit a strip club afterward. Unfortunately, we went with my buddy "Chief"s recommendation.
His endorsement: "I put my finger up a stripper's butt there"

Now, let me start by saying I'm not a strip club afficionado by any means. Just the fact that I know the girl's only into it for the money is a chubb-killer. I only go with groups like this, bachelor parties, etc.

Anyway, we get there and the guido-esque doorguard wants $20 a piece to get in. It's fully nude so there's no alcohol (a good idea, in hindsight, because we neeed to sober up). Fine.
We get in, the place is relatively clean. We all take a seat at the rail. One look around and the girls all kind of look the saem. The basic uniform: Lingerie with big-ass stripper heels. I like a little variety. Where's the schoolgirl? the French Maid? The St. Pauli Girl?
Well, The cocktail waitress comes up and offers me a $2 drink. As usual, she's the hotest one in the place, and fully clothed.

The first "girl" on stage: I had a "gut feeling"about her, and I was right, when she went down on all fours and her "tummy" was buffing the stage.
I thought maybe she was pregnant, but no dice. I'm fine with curves, but this was like a quintuple freeway overpass (with lots of speed bumps).

Then she takes off her bottoms and it's like she had a manta ray in a leglock. Major meat curtains.

Brutal. I put a buck on the stage and headed for a dark corner. Within a few seconds I was accosted by another thick-bodied girl wearing a slingshot. She starts her sales pitch and I obliged, though she wasn't really my type.

We go to the couch along the wall, squeeze in between two other dudes getting worked. I "have" to buy her an $8 drink (I thought they were 2 bucks?).
So immediately she starts dry humping me. Rubbing her chest all over my face, infusing some kind of K-Mart perfume into my pores. Then she starts
punding my crotch with her thigh. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
I'm thinking she either hates me, or she put ona strapon, and is secretly trying to get revenge for her gender.
After one song, I cry "uncle" and say thanks. It was $20 for one song at $10 per song. Nice math, but I obliged and even gave her a tip.
I'm the guy who doesn't complain about bad service, but just doesn't go back.
I mustsound pretty cheap by now, but really I sdon't mind dropping some coin at these places, provided I get a good experience. This was bunk.

So I retreated back to the rail to consume about a half-dozen diet cokes and wait for a girl who really looked interesting. After turning down propositions from three fatties, a "me love you long time", and a Ugly Wanda look-alike. I spotted a really hot chick who must have just started. She went up on stage and had great moves. I put $10 on the rail when she was done, and figured whe'd come over when making the rounds.
Well, I got c*ck blocked by another dude and they disappeared. I figured I'd wait for her. Soon enough another girl sits on my lap. Not bad looking, I remembered her stage show, she was a considerable runner-up to that hot one, who it seemed would never finish her private show.
So we went to the lap dance area. She offered the "semi-private room" for $60 for 4 songs. Or the "Private room" for $100 for 6 songs. I figured that's where the finger up the butt took place.
The semi private was pitch black, and I like looking more than dry-humping, so I passed on the upgrades.
Well, she gets going and it was like a bad sequel. The dry huping, bad perfume rub then WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! She was nailing me like a washing machine out of balance.
I asked her to back up and just dance. She looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. I think I must have stunned her because all she did was shift her weight from one leg to the other.
Two songs into it I opted out. I'd have paid double to get her out of there.

WTF??!! Is this normal? Maybe my strip club ettiquete is out of style or something, it aint really my thing. but what a disappointment.

Best place I've been was Cheetahs in Vegas. Shabby decor but loaded with hot chicks who like t oparty adn have great attitudes.

A long post, but I had to vent.

Anyone got any good strip club confessions?

[Demonpenz]

yeah i would have left earlier than that. You could get a jar of mayo and look at porn for 2 bucks

[KcMizzou]

His endorsement: "I put my finger up a stripper's butt there"

ROFL

[Phobia]

You're a good story-teller - highly entertaining. I don't have any good strip club stories. At least none that I would tell in public.

[whoaskew]

You haven't lived until you have been to the Pink Slip in East Saint Louis. Shittiest neighborhood in the country but definitely an experience. (Gotta love the 30 minute workout).

I remember they even did an HBO Real Sex about it a few years ago. They have since remodeled the place and it is a little bit watered down since my first time there, but it still beats the hell out of anything in KC.

[Bugeater]

The worst one ever for me was on Hwy 71 somewhere around the Missouri/Arkansas border. First of all, we had to go down the highway a few miles to get our beer ourselves because they didn't sell alcohol there, and while I don't expect to see the classiest women at a strip joint, I do expect them to at least have SOME teeth.

[nbkc fan]

So was that at the Sahara?
Orange County is terrible for strip clubs. The downside of being close to Vegas is all the hot girls just go out there to work.

[grandllama]

dumb farkers like you pay my rent. thank you.

I may have worked in places like this (and owned one) most of my adult life, but I have no idea what would possess one to come spend their hard earned money in a place like this, even made weirder by those not having a good time... yet still dropping the dough...

[TinyEvel]

So was that at the Sahara?
Orange County is terrible for strip clubs. The downside of being close to Vegas is all the hot girls just go out there to work.

Good guess. That was Chief's first suggestion, but I've been there before. Those chicks at Sahara are DOGS! The night cleaning ladies at my office are hotter.

This place was called Flamingo, I think.

[TinyEvel]

dumb farkers like you pay my rent. thank you.

I may have worked in places like this (and owned one) most of my adult life, but I have no idea what would possess one to come spend their hard earned money in a place like this, even made weirder by those not having a good time... yet still dropping the dough...

I hear ya. I was with a bunch of guys, tho. One dude was in a room for a while and we didn't want to bail on him. I should have not caved under pressure. At least I didn't get more dances. Besides, my nuggets couldn't take much more pulverizing. Talk about a Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker.

[J Diddy]

The worst one ever for me was on Hwy 71 somewhere around the Missouri/Arkansas border. First of all, we had to go down the highway a few miles to get our beer ourselves because they didn't sell alcohol there, and while I don't expect to see the classiest women at a strip joint, I do expect them to at least have SOME teeth.

Hey is that place close to noel.


I remember going to a place up by there where me and my boss were playing pool in the back cause the chicks were too damn yucky and suddenly get hijacked by "bunny" the sumo stripper who's going around begging for tips.

[Hammock Parties]

I'm never going to a strip club. Ever.

[J Diddy]

I'm never going to a strip club. Ever.


That's cause you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

[Iowanian]

You've obviously not had the pleasure that is Cambridge Iowa.

Last time we went there....3 strippers

1 local methead(assumed)
1 4'9 190lb "3" on the beauty scale

1.....the main event....a almost midget, drug addict who also happend to be the mother of a special ed girl from my former hs.

[Hammock Parties]

That's cause you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

Nah. I just find them to be sleazy dives that only want to suck your money. I'm not into that.

[J Diddy]

Nah. I just find them to be sleazy dives that only want to suck your money. I'm not into that.


You've just described the majority of the females on the planet earth.

[Hammock Parties]

You've just described the majority of the females on the planet earth.

You're jaded. There are lots of nice girls out there.

[J Diddy]

You're jaded. There are lots of nice girls out there.

Yes. I call them nuns.


Please elaborate using all that extensive experience that you possess.

[stevieray]

You're jaded. There are lots of nice girls out there.
You didn't get the memo?

You're the girl now.

[J Diddy]

You didn't get the memo?

You're the girl now.


ROFL

[Bugeater]

Hey is that place close to noel.


I remember going to a place up by there where me and my boss were playing pool in the back cause the chicks were too damn yucky and suddenly get hijacked by "bunny" the sumo stripper who's going around begging for tips.
Yes, it wasn't too far from Noel. It was at least 10 yrs ago though so I don't remember the name of the place, I think it was some kind of sci-fi type of name, like Astro Skanks or something like that.

[J Diddy]

Yes, it wasn't too far from Noel. It was at least 10 yrs ago though so I don't remember the name of the place, I think it was some kind of sci-fi type of name, like Astro Skanks or something like that.

I believe it was the same place.



You know your sex life has got to be bad to rely not only on strippers, but 3rd string ones as well.

[Hammock Parties]

Yes. I call them nuns.


Please elaborate using all that extensive experience that you possess.

OK...maybe all the girls I meet just seem nice. They're all money-lusting tramps under the surface. THOSE WHORES!

[Bugeater]

I believe it was the same place.



You know your sex life has got to be bad to rely not only on strippers, but 3rd string ones as well.
ROFL If I had to rely on that, I'd go celibate. I was visiting some friends I have in the area, it had just opened and they wanted to check it out. I would be shocked if it was still in operation.

[Frazod]

My best strip club story is about a place called Franks, about four blocks from Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro. Franks was, shall we say, a hands-on type of place. Hands and everything else.

If you're prudish or easily offended, or Gaz, just stop reading now.

I visited Rio in 1984 when I was in the Navy.

Well, I'm sitting a table at Franks with a couple of friends. We're each getting, um, serviced (in one way or another) under the table while watching the live girl-on-girl sex show on stage. There are probably about 20-30 guys from the ship in the place. In walk three officers, a Lieutenant Commander (operations department head), Lieutenant Junior Grade and an Ensign. They are all stinking, rolling drunk, even worse than my friends and I were. I'm not really sure how it went down (I was very drunk and occupied), but the next thing I know these officers are up on stage with the dancers. The next thing I know after that, these officers start screwing the dancers, while we cheered them on. The LTJG proceeded puke on the stage (and girl he was banging).

A good time was had by all, with the possible exception of the pro who got barfed on and the poor bastard who had to clean it up. :spock:

As for the three commissioned officers who engaged in drunken sexual intercourse in front of a couple of dozen enlisted men, well, I don't think any of them did their careers any favors that day. The Ensign was a f#ck-up anyway, and got thrown out before the year was up. The LTJG took a long time to make LT, and the LCDR just got quietly transferred. But I assume they had fun that night.

Good luck topping this one. :D

[ZepSinger]

You're a good story-teller - highly entertaining. I don't have any good strip club stories. At least none that I would tell in public.

I once gave a dancer $20 to get up on my table and sing "You Give Love a Bad Name" off-key. Nice.

And what's the deal with coming around asking for money for the jukebox? The house owns the jukebox, I highly doubt they're feeding it quarters. I think they're just trying to make money!!!! :)

BTW- that was in 1989. Haven't stepped foot in a strip club since '93. What an insane waste of money...

Z

[Rain Man]

The best strip club story I have is something that happened to a former coworker of mine. He was this little meek fellow who would have probably never gone into a strip club, except a friend of his was having a bachelor's party. So he went to the strip club, sat around for a while, and then started to leave. When he got out to the parking lot, some ruffian accosted him and accused him of gawking at the guy's girlfriend. The ruffian then proceeded to nail him in the face with a beer bottle, giving him a couple of black eyes, before the bouncers could break it up. So in his first visit, he got assaulted in a manner that was very visible at work. Then, before he could go to court to testify against the ruffian, the ruffian was killed in another barfight. Yeesh.

[Halfcan]

So you paid to get kneed in the crotch twice, and the second time cost you $60? Sounds like a fun evening.

[tk13]

The best strip club story I have is something that happened to a former coworker of mine. He was this little meek fellow who would have probably never gone into a strip club, except a friend of his was having a bachelor's party. So he went to the strip club, sat around for a while, and then started to leave. When he got out to the parking lot, some ruffian accosted him and accused him of gawking at the guy's girlfriend. The ruffian then proceeded to nail him in the face with a beer bottle, giving him a couple of black eyes, before the bouncers could break it up. So in his first visit, he got assaulted in a manner that was very visible at work. Then, before he could go to court to testify against the ruffian, the ruffian was killed in another barfight. Yeesh.
You run around with a pretty rough crowd. No wonder your bike got stolen.

[RedThat]

My best strip club story is about a place called Franks, about four blocks from Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro. Franks was, shall we say, a hands-on type of place. Hands and everything else.

If you're prudish or easily offended, or Gaz, just stop reading now.

I visited Rio in 1984 when I was in the Navy.

Well, I'm sitting a table at Franks with a couple of friends. We're each getting, um, serviced (in one way or another) under the table while watching the live girl-on-girl sex show on stage. There are probably about 20-30 guys from the ship in the place. In walk three officers, a Lieutenant Commander (operations department head), Lieutenant Junior Grade and an Ensign. They are all stinking, rolling drunk, even worse than my friends and I were. I'm not really sure how it went down (I was very drunk and occupied), but the next thing I know these officers are up on stage with the dancers. The next thing I know after that, these officers start screwing the dancers, while we cheered them on. The LTJG proceeded puke on the stage (and girl he was banging).

A good time was had by all, with the possible exception of the pro who got barfed on and the poor bastard who had to clean it up. :spock:

As for the three commissioned officers who engaged in drunken sexual intercourse in front of a couple of dozen enlisted men, well, I don't think any of them did their careers any favors that day. The Ensign was a f#ck-up anyway, and got thrown out before the year was up. The LTJG took a long time to make LT, and the LCDR just got quietly transferred. But I assume they had fun that night.

Good luck topping this one. :D

Anything in Rio eh? anything.

[RedThat]

The best strip club story I have is something that happened to a former coworker of mine. He was this little meek fellow who would have probably never gone into a strip club, except a friend of his was having a bachelor's party. So he went to the strip club, sat around for a while, and then started to leave. When he got out to the parking lot, some ruffian accosted him and accused him of gawking at the guy's girlfriend. The ruffian then proceeded to nail him in the face with a beer bottle, giving him a couple of black eyes, before the bouncers could break it up. So in his first visit, he got assaulted in a manner that was very visible at work. Then, before he could go to court to testify against the ruffian, the ruffian was killed in another barfight. Yeesh.

That certainly doesn't sound like a good place to hangout.

[RedThat]

Guys, what is your perspective on strip joints?

Honestly, I think they suck man.

I have my reasons. Those girls try to come on to you like they act as if they want you, but in the back of your mind you know it is a business. They try to act all seductive, and try to blind men, when in the meantime they just want your money.

And what do you get out of it? A lap dance. Big deal. Its a tease.

Id rather masturbate. It is more pleasureful than being teased. Even the girls that do put out, honestly, considered them ritually unclean. They're dirty, and who knows where there hands have been? especially in places like Rio, or cuba, no way man. Dont trust. Yuck! Those girls probably have so much germs.

[chefsos]

Few years back, several of us popped in on a local club. Jeff, who was kind of the leader of our little group, wanted to check out a girl who danced there, because she also worked out at the gym he owned. Maybe slide her a little cash, help out a client/friend and all that, and oh by the way, see the goods too.

This other chick was onstage. Had a hound dog face and nondescript skinny body, but the tattoos covered a good deal of that anyway. I'm sitting next to Mark.

Mark: What are you staring at?
Me: That chick. She's dancing funny, like she's holding one arm behind her back. Can't figure it out.
Mark:[looks closer]
Me:[looks closer]
Both: OH SHIT!!
Mark: THAT ****IN' BITCH ONLY HAS ONE ARM!!!
Me: Damn, man, keep it down. Maybe she's sensitive.
Mark, to all at the table: That ****in' bitch only has one arm!


Yes, friends, that ****in' bitch only had one arm.

[Joe Seahawk]

Few years back, several of us popped in on a local club. Jeff, who was kind of the leader of our little group, wanted to check out a girl who danced there, because she also worked out at the gym he owned. Maybe slide her a little cash, help out a client/friend and all that, and oh by the way, see the goods too.

This other chick was onstage. Had a hound dog face and nondescript skinny body, but the tattoos covered a good deal of that anyway. I'm sitting next to Mark.

Mark: What are you staring at?
Me: That chick. She's dancing funny, like she's holding one arm behind her back. Can't figure it out.
Mark:[looks closer]
Me:[looks closer]
Both: OH SHIT!!
Mark: THAT ****IN' BITCH ONLY HAS ONE ARM!!!
Me: Damn, man, keep it down. Maybe she's sensitive.
Mark, to all at the table: That ****in' bitch only has one arm!


Yes, friends, that ****in' bitch only had one arm.


What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my stump.
My stump, my stump, my stump, my stump, my stump,
My stump, my stump, my stump, my lovely little stump. (Check it out)

[chefsos]

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my stump.
My stump, my stump, my stump, my stump, my stump,
My stump, my stump, my stump, my lovely little stump. (Check it out)
Hehe. I shoulda been paying attention. Maybe that was her theme song.

[Valiant]

God, my only story that is interesting we were at Bazooka's in KC and some hot ass porn star was there in 98 and she was doing a stage show.. Well after her pole routine she sits on a chair and starts pouring wax from a candle all over her tits and then on her camel toe.. Everybody in the place was going nuts, well she starts peeling the wax off of her **** and I see her arm move in a throwing motion... Its dark in those ****ers and I am about two tables back from the front row with my friends... Next thing you know the ****ing thing blasts me in the eye, my friends start rolling with laughter..

Other then that I have only been one other time in 10 years and have never paid for a lap dance... Had a free one just because I knew the girl but other then that I think they are a waste of good money...

If I want my dick played with and grinded on I will just go to a dance club or the bar... It will cost me less and I have a way better chance of taking one of them home if I wanted too...

[Demonpenz]

Mo vaughn seems to like em

[skye22f]

Guys, what is your perspective on strip joints?

Honestly, I think they suck man.

I have my reasons. Those girls try to come on to you like they act as if they want you, but in the back of your mind you know it is a business. They try to act all seductive, and try to blind men, when in the meantime they just want your money.

And what do you get out of it? A lap dance. Big deal. Its a tease.

Id rather masturbate. It is more pleasureful than being teased. Even the girls that do put out, honestly, considered them ritually unclean. They're dirty, and who knows where there hands have been? especially in places like Rio, or cuba, no way man. Dont trust. Yuck! Those girls probably have so much germs.

I agree with this.

If you really want to make a stripper mad, when she's putting her tits in your face say "it's ok, my dad used to touch me too."

I tried this at a bachelor party last night and it worked great. Like 99% of strippers were molested as a child.

[big nasty kcnut]

Ok you think that bad i gone to a strip club that had a) warm beer oh god it was bad.
b) no nude girls they had bra and panty they flashed but nothing else.
c) ugly girls

So go to jezebel and got cold beer hot chicks and the girl was grabbing the pytons.

[Moooo]

That's cause you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.

You're the second person to say that!

Moooo

[luv]

You're the second person to say that!

Moooo
LOL

Go to bed!

[Moooo]

LOL

Go to bed!

YOU FIRST!!!

Moooo

[big nasty kcnut]

You two go to bed lol. Wait why the hell i'm up. Oh yeah boss person a prick.

[MOhillbilly]

Strippers are one step above ratshit.

[Braincase]

I recall a place outside Salina called the Golden Unicorn... help me out here, grandllama...

[ck_IN]

I'd have to agree with Redbull. I've never 'got' strip clubs.

Per the topic starter he laid down $20 to get in. $20 for the first dance. $22 for drinks. $60 for the semi private room. $10 on the rail plus tips. We're talking $132+ for an experience where at best you get teased. What's the point? If that's what you want rent a porn, watch Cinimax or download something from the web. It's all the same really and a lot less expensive.

[BIG_DADDY]

Guys, what is your perspective on strip joints?

Honestly, I think they suck man.

I have my reasons. Those girls try to come on to you like they act as if they want you, but in the back of your mind you know it is a business. They try to act all seductive, and try to blind men, when in the meantime they just want your money.

And what do you get out of it? A lap dance. Big deal. Its a tease.

Id rather masturbate. It is more pleasureful than being teased. Even the girls that do put out, honestly, considered them ritually unclean. They're dirty, and who knows where there hands have been? especially in places like Rio, or cuba, no way man. Dont trust. Yuck! Those girls probably have so much germs.

Really? I thought they loved me.

[ROYC75]

Man.

I just went down to the OC for an Angels game with some of my college buddies, and we hit a strip club afterward. Unfortunately, we went with my buddy "Chief"s recommendation.
His endorsement: "I put my finger up a stripper's butt there"

Now, let me start by saying I'm not a strip club afficionado by any means. Just the fact that I know the girl's only into it for the money is a chubb-killer. I only go with groups like this, bachelor parties, etc.

Anyway, we get there and the guido-esque doorguard wants $20 a piece to get in. It's fully nude so there's no alcohol (a good idea, in hindsight, because we neeed to sober up). Fine.
We get in, the place is relatively clean. We all take a seat at the rail. One look around and the girls all kind of look the saem. The basic uniform: Lingerie with big-ass stripper heels. I like a little variety. Where's the schoolgirl? the French Maid? The St. Pauli Girl?
Well, The cocktail waitress comes up and offers me a $2 drink. As usual, she's the hotest one in the place, and fully clothed.

The first "girl" on stage: I had a "gut feeling"about her, and I was right, when she went down on all fours and her "tummy" was buffing the stage.
I thought maybe she was pregnant, but no dice. I'm fine with curves, but this was like a quintuple freeway overpass (with lots of speed bumps).

Then she takes off her bottoms and it's like she had a manta ray in a leglock. Major meat curtains.

Brutal. I put a buck on the stage and headed for a dark corner. Within a few seconds I was accosted by another thick-bodied girl wearing a slingshot. She starts her sales pitch and I obliged, though she wasn't really my type.

We go to the couch along the wall, squeeze in between two other dudes getting worked. I "have" to buy her an $8 drink (I thought they were 2 bucks?).
So immediately she starts dry humping me. Rubbing her chest all over my face, infusing some kind of K-Mart perfume into my pores. Then she starts
punding my crotch with her thigh. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
I'm thinking she either hates me, or she put ona strapon, and is secretly trying to get revenge for her gender.
After one song, I cry "uncle" and say thanks. It was $20 for one song at $10 per song. Nice math, but I obliged and even gave her a tip.
I'm the guy who doesn't complain about bad service, but just doesn't go back.
I mustsound pretty cheap by now, but really I sdon't mind dropping some coin at these places, provided I get a good experience. This was bunk.

So I retreated back to the rail to consume about a half-dozen diet cokes and wait for a girl who really looked interesting. After turning down propositions from three fatties, a "me love you long time", and a Ugly Wanda look-alike. I spotted a really hot chick who must have just started. She went up on stage and had great moves. I put $10 on the rail when she was done, and figured whe'd come over when making the rounds.
Well, I got c*ck blocked by another dude and they disappeared. I figured I'd wait for her. Soon enough another girl sits on my lap. Not bad looking, I remembered her stage show, she was a considerable runner-up to that hot one, who it seemed would never finish her private show.
So we went to the lap dance area. She offered the "semi-private room" for $60 for 4 songs. Or the "Private room" for $100 for 6 songs. I figured that's where the finger up the butt took place.
The semi private was pitch black, and I like looking more than dry-humping, so I passed on the upgrades.
Well, she gets going and it was like a bad sequel. The dry huping, bad perfume rub then WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! She was nailing me like a washing machine out of balance.
I asked her to back up and just dance. She looked at me like I was speaking Chinese. I think I must have stunned her because all she did was shift her weight from one leg to the other.
Two songs into it I opted out. I'd have paid double to get her out of there.

WTF??!! Is this normal? Maybe my strip club ettiquete is out of style or something, it aint really my thing. but what a disappointment.

Best place I've been was Cheetahs in Vegas. Shabby decor but loaded with hot chicks who like t oparty adn have great attitudes.

A long post, but I had to vent.

Anyone got any good strip club confessions?

How old are you ? Ever hear the term ..... a fool and his money soon parts ?

Yes, your strip club ettiquete sucks, it needs a complete make over.

[StcChief]

You haven't lived until you have been to the Pink Slip in East Saint Louis. Shittiest neighborhood in the country but definitely an experience. (Gotta love the 30 minute workout).

I remember they even did an HBO Real Sex about it a few years ago. They have since remodeled the place and it is a little bit watered down since my first time there, but it still beats the hell out of anything in KC.

aka. 'The East Side' has a number of places better than most in country. told by folks that frequent these joints around the USA.

Not sure about this one. or what is was called before.

Haven't been in 7 yrs. buddies 40th BDay. Limo and all.

[Mr. Laz]

they have some pretty bad ones in oklahoma city :shake:


real dives with girls missing teeth, looking like they are preggers and chit


blech :Lin:

[J Diddy]

Few years back, several of us popped in on a local club. Jeff, who was kind of the leader of our little group, wanted to check out a girl who danced there, because she also worked out at the gym he owned. Maybe slide her a little cash, help out a client/friend and all that, and oh by the way, see the goods too.

This other chick was onstage. Had a hound dog face and nondescript skinny body, but the tattoos covered a good deal of that anyway. I'm sitting next to Mark.

Mark: What are you staring at?
Me: That chick. She's dancing funny, like she's holding one arm behind her back. Can't figure it out.
Mark:[looks closer]
Me:[looks closer]
Both: OH SHIT!!
Mark: THAT ****IN' BITCH ONLY HAS ONE ARM!!!
Me: Damn, man, keep it down. Maybe she's sensitive.
Mark, to all at the table: That ****in' bitch only has one arm!


Yes, friends, that ****in' bitch only had one arm.


That's hot.

Maybe she gave discounted lap dances.

[Predarat]

I'd have to agree with Redbull. I've never 'got' strip clubs.

Per the topic starter he laid down $20 to get in. $20 for the first dance. $22 for drinks. $60 for the semi private room. $10 on the rail plus tips. We're talking $132+ for an experience where at best you get teased. What's the point? If that's what you want rent a porn, watch Cinimax or download something from the web. It's all the same really and a lot less expensive.
I agree if you must do something like this try a call girl. For less than 20 bucks more you can get an hour with an average looking one, 70 bucks for a pretty good looking one and 120 bucks for a good looking GFE. They will do almost anything you want.

[ROYC75]

Is the Old Chelsea still open in the River key area ?

1977 I took my brother on his 18th birthday, he hasn't been to one yet. We were along the stage, I was sitting right next to it with a front row view.

A girl, ( she was HOT ) Stormy Gail was on stage, she had just done a dance to " Can't ya See " by Marshall Tucker Band and I was all excited from that front row view. All this time I was making eyes at her and the next song came on. Satisfaction by the Stones.......

She pulls me up on stage and does her dancing routine around me. Grabbing my crotch, shoving the boobs in my face, everything she wanted to do, but she told me not to grab back, it was against the rules. Talking about getting a woody for the whole world to see, this bitch had me ready and I could do a damn thing to her. The guys I was with were going nuts and laughing there ass's off at me.

I asked her if we could meet later, she said " No, I have a boyfriend, he's the bodyguard. ( Seriously, that told me strip clubs were a waste of time )

The next day my brother and I was at the table for breakfast with mom and he told her I was on stage dancing with the strippers with titties in my face . Oh the look on my mama face :eek: ................ :D

[BIG_DADDY]

Strip clubs are what you make of them. If you are at a good one it can be great. There are several I dislike though. I really liked the gentlemen's club in Reno. The last time I was there we had two strippers at our table for most of the evening. All we did was buy them dinner. What I don't like is when you get bombarded by endless strippers asking for lap dances. Some of your smaller clubs are the best one's.

[sedated]

Next thing you know the ****ing thing blasts me in the eye, my friends start rolling with laughter..

there are worse things in a strippers cooch that could hit you in the eye, so be grateful

[J Diddy]

there are worse things in a strippers cooch that could hit you in the eye, so be grateful

ROFL

[J Diddy]

ROFL If I had to rely on that, I'd go celibate. I was visiting some friends I have in the area, it had just opened and they wanted to check it out. I would be shocked if it was still in operation.


I don't know. Next time I go floating down by there I'll have to check and see. I used to have to drive down there for meetings monthly, but I no longer have that job.


I'll give you a report later.


:)

[chiefbowe82]

hmm

[philfree]

Time for an intervention...Hell Son there's only two kinds........Big Ol' good ones...and good ol big ones.....What was your major malfunction again?

PhilFree:arrow:

[KCChiefsMan]

it's better than the last time I went to the outhouse in Lawrence here. Now, I'm not a strip club guy but I still shoulda known better.

$20 to get in
stripper comes sits next to me, tells me a sad story. I'm drunk and don't care and then she asks me if I want a lap dance, I say sure why not, I'm bored anyways. She tells me to go to this "private room" which is a foot step up and isn't even a room. 5 minutes go by and says "that's 4 songs you owe me $120. I say, that was 4, minute songs, that's not fair. She goes and gets the bouncer's and I have to hit the ATM. So I do.

f*ck strip clubs.

[googlegoogle]

Noticed stripclubs have photos of the dancers now.

There are way too many stripclubs maybe.

[MikeMaslowski]

Wow... it must be the week to drag up old ass threads...

Anywho, In Italy the currency is the euro. The smallest bill is the 5. Which translates to $7.50... so you never leave a bill on stage. Only club I've been to is in Vicenza, called Kiss Kiss. They have private rooms in the back where they give HJ's for 80 euro or you can go right outside and pay 20 euro for a BJ from a hooker. It is pretty crazy, if I didn't love my penis and value my position in the military I would be down. Instead I watch others catch Article 15's. If you are a civilian you should be ok, so come visit.

[Pioli Zombie]

Nothing beats the joy of a hooker coming to your room and saying "No touching". "No touching??????". "No touching"
"WTF?". But its made up for the goooood ones. If I'm paying, I'm getting some. Strip clubs. A little peep. Why the fuck bother?
Posted via Mobile Device

[Stryker]

it's better than the last time I went to the outhouse in Lawrence here. Now, I'm not a strip club guy but I still shoulda known better.

$20 to get in
stripper comes sits next to me, tells me a sad story. I'm drunk and don't care and then she asks me if I want a lap dance, I say sure why not, I'm bored anyways. She tells me to go to this "private room" which is a foot step up and isn't even a room. 5 minutes go by and says "that's 4 songs you owe me $120. I say, that was 4, minute songs, that's not fair. She goes and gets the bouncer's and I have to hit the ATM. So I do.

f*ck strip clubs.

That does suck!

Last time I went into one was in New Orleans 2 years ago with my brother (younger). These chicks are highly attractive but still all about the money. We went to see Motley Crue and went to a couple of them after the show. I have learned to take control of the situation when approached by the stripper. As I am getting tits slapped in my face for $20 - I look over at my brother with a blonde on one knee and a brunette on the other with a mile wide smile thinking - sucker! Any how, my girl says do you want to go to the private room and order champagne? My que - "I tell you what sweetheart - we can do that if I get to fuck you in the ass when we get there" She ran from the table! ROFL