Tell your entertaining neighbor stories here.

[Rain Man]

Any good neighbor stories? We may have kind of had this thread in the "deaf humpers" thread a while back, but let's formalize it.

My interesting neighbor stories will flow as I feel like posting, but I'll start with this one.

1. When I lived in Texas, we were in an apartment that backed onto a wooded area. Raccoons would come up onto our deck, and then eventually made a home in the crawl space. I would hear them scratching on the bottom of my bathtub, because I think they licked the moisture off of it. Other neighbors also reported the bathtub effect. Once, one got in the air conditioning duct and looked at me from behind the vent. But on the neighbor front, this one huge raccoon would come up on the decks, and one of my neighbors published an avant-garde magazine. He went out on the deck with a doughnut in his mouth, and tried to get his roommate to take a photo of this mammoth raccoon eating the doughnut from his mouth. Fortunately, his roommate stopped him before the raccoon got the chance.

[Donger]

My first apartment out of college was in Olathe. Not a very nice place, but the price was right and it was at least new. Anyway, my neighbor was a gal that seemed a bit highly-strung. She used to fight with her boyfriend all the time.

So, one night/early morning, I'm woken up by the usual yelling. I get up to go a bang on the wall, and then hear multiple gun shots from inside (I assumed) her apartment, followed quickly by a door slamming and her yelling, "Somebody call 911!! Somebody call 911!!" as she went flying down the stairs.

As it turns out, the boyfriend showed up drunk, they started to argue and he pulled out a pistol. Apparently, he was so drunk that he missed her all three times.

After that, I decided that I didn't apartment living very much, and bought my first house in Prairie Village the next week.

[Bugeater]

I had a couple of lesbians living in an apartment below me years ago. It was pretty obvious which one was the dude. They went fishing together a lot.

[htismaqe]

I don't even know where to start. Growing pot, fixing gas lines while smoking cigarettes, converting his pickup into a convertible with a power saw, riding the lawn mower to the bar because he doesn't have a license...

[JimNasium]

I had a neighbor that I had only talked to three times ask me for a loan. He didn't even know my name. :shake:

[Mr. Kotter]

True story. I lived in a housing and urban deveopment project growing up. We lived next door to a reasonably attractive and well-endowed young lady. When I was about 9, I noticed a line of men would hang out in front of her place....for the first couple of days of the month. Anyway, one dude would go in, then come out about 15-20 minutes later....and another would go in. At first I didn't realize what was going on. Anyway, after a few months of this, I decided....heck, I'll start a Lemonade stand and sell to the men waiting in line as some days it was pretty hot especially in the summer. I made pretty good money for a couple of years. Until one year, some dude (obviously intoxicated) comes stumbling to the front of the line.....and pushes his way into the house. The dude who had been in the house comes running out, pulling on his pants....then, I hear a loud bang! The "Coitus-interruptous" dude is soon followed out the door by the drunk dude, who stumbled backward out onto the "stoop." The dude had a large hole in his chest and was bleeding pretty bad, mumbling something like "dat dum ho done shot my ass! Da bitch shot me! Somebodies call de po-lice." So we did.

Too bad. My Lemonade Stand business went to shit after that.

[TinyEvel]

I don't even know where to start. Growing pot, fixing gas lines while smoking cigarettes, converting his pickup into a convertible with a power saw, riding the lawn mower to the bar because he doesn't have a license...

You live next to GoChiefs?

[BucEyedPea]

Growing up, oh I'd say sometime about age 16...the Dad next door turned out to be a peeping Tom. I heard a noise out my bedroom window and moved the blinds to discover him standing there looking in. Perv!

[Rain Man]

When I lived in St. Louis, my apartment neighbors upstairs left for an evening, and they brought in a babysitter. (I didn't even know they had a baby, so it must have been a quiet one.)

So I'm sitting in my apartment, and all of a sudden I heard this enormous thud from upstairs, which was quite startling. My initial theory was that the babysitter had dropped a large TV or something.

About two hours later, someone came into the building and started banging on the door upstairs. It was quite insistent, and about the time that I decided to call the police, the police actually showed up. There was a big to-do, and an ambulance showed up and stuff, and I had no idea what was happening.

When the neighbors came home, I told them what was going on, and they said that the babysitter had a heart condition and had collapsed (big thump). Since her parents knew about the heart condition, they called to check on her hourly, and when she didn't answer the phone, they came over and tried to get in (banging on the door). I never heard what happened to the girl.

[BucEyedPea]

First year outta art school I lived in a coed apt. Upstairs were 4 guys. One hot summer day.....

[Baby Lee]

First year outta art school I lived in a coed apt. Upstairs were 4 guys. One hot summer day.....
DV-DA?

[Rain Man]

Growing up, oh I'd say sometime about age 16...the Dad next door turned out to be a peeping Tom. I heard a noise out my bedroom window and moved the blinds to discover him standing there looking in. Perv!

Cool. Did you read my story the other day about my uncle and the peeping tom?

[Donger]

DV-DA?

ROFL

[el borracho]

DV-DA?
Bwahahahah!!!


I don't get it

[Bwana]

Heh!

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=63346

[TinyEvel]

The day before we moved into our house in the Hollywood Hills, I went up to let the pool safety gate contractors into the backyard.

There was a heliCOPter flying overhead and an ambulance and two cop cars at the end of the street.

Turns out the guy who lived there had a boyfriend who flipped out on coke and went nuts on him. The guy called the cops and the flip out guy OD'd and that's why the ambulance was there.

"Welcome to the neighborhood"

[BucEyedPea]

DV-DA?

Sorry...I was interrupted here....now to finish the story.....so then....

[BucEyedPea]

Cool. Did you read my story the other day about my uncle and the peeping tom?

No...must'a missed it.
But one other night, my older sister and were dancing to music in the living room when we heard a sound. Went in our bedroom, that we shared and the window was up about a quarter. I shut it and we go back into the living room ....then we hear the sound again and repeat the same thing. Then last time,it was another teenage neighbor going through our lingerie draws stealing our bras. She came in through the window! OMG!

[Rain Man]

Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute...wait...a...minute...it was a female neighbor?

[BucEyedPea]

Waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute...wait...a...minute...it was a female neighbor?


Yes! She knew us. She hung with my older sis more...and was actually a distant 5th cousin. She lived down the street a few doors. We got really mad at her for taking them. Caught her red handed.

Story is 100% true too.

[Rain Man]

Was she just wanting cheap lingerie, or was she a perv?

[Rain Man]

Oh, and regardless of the truth, would you please say perv? It'll make my day.

[BucEyedPea]

Was she just wanting cheap lingerie, or was she a perv?

No, not a perv, just obsessed with being full-breasted as she was flat. She wanted ours so she could have something to stuff, so she tried to steal ours. You see, this was all she ever talked about to attract guys and her mom wouldn't buy her something she could stuff. She begged us that night in desperation to please, please let her have one so she could stuff it and wear a tight sweater to get boys. We laughed our asses off when she left.

[Rain Man]

That's a sad, sad story. Hopefully she came to appreciate her own unique qualities and understand that she too can be attractive to men if she only does slutty and perverted acts with them.

[BucEyedPea]

That's a sad, sad story. Hopefully she came to appreciate her own unique qualities and understand that she too can be attractive to men if she only does slutty and perverted acts with them.

Yeah, well she got married just a few years later as a teen...right outta HS!

[Donger]

No, not a perv, just obsessed with being full-breasted as she was flat. She wanted ours so she could have something to stuff, so she tried to steal ours. You see, this was all she ever talked about to attract guys and her mom wouldn't buy her something she could stuff. She begged us that night in desperation to please, please let her have one so she could stuff it and wear a tight sweater to get boys. We laughed our asses off when she left.

I dated a girl long ago that put those things in her bra to make her bust look bigger. They looked like chicken breast cutlets.

Scared the crap out of me.

[Hammock Parties]

My sisters and I sat in a tall tree and tossed cheerios in our neighbor's pool one day. Eventually they figured out it was us and our parents made us go and apologize. I hid behind my eldest sister as she was the ringleader and bore the brunt of the embarrassing apology.

[Rain Man]

I dated a girl long ago that put those things in her bra to make her bust look bigger. They looked like chicken breast cutlets.

Scared the crap out of me.

I never understood this strategy. If it works, then she ends up in a situation where she has to get naked, and then the truth will come out. It's like wearing a toupee, or taping a cucumber to your thigh.

[Donger]

I never understood this strategy. If it works, then she ends up in a situation where she has to get naked, and then the truth will come out. It's like wearing a toupee, or taping a cucumber to your thigh.

Indeed. It startled me more than anything, but then I examimed them, being curious. They even had fake nipples.

She was pretty embarrassed, but it worked out okay.

She had the most beautiful face, too. I can't remember her name now.

[Baby Lee]

I never understood this strategy. If it works, then she ends up in a situation where she has to get naked, and then the truth will come out. It's like wearing a toupee, or taping a cucumber to your thigh.
My gawd RM, you think women improve their appearance in order to GET LAID?
And you think guys see full on beaver, and get all upset if the bewbies are a little smaller than they looked earlier?
Do you LIVE on this planet, or did the interweb send a tube to the moon?

[BucEyedPea]

Sorry...I was interrupted here....now to finish the story.....so then....

Now to finish...all four were standing on their back porch with their kitchen window and door open and just a screen on them one Saturday afternoon on a hot summer day.I had the hose on in the yard down below, and in the middle of talking to them I decided to spray them with water, then aimed it through their kitchen door and window. Soaking them even when they went inside. Then I let my other female roomate take over. Then the two male one's got into it. I snuck in up the front stairs and they actually had their front entrance door unlocked. I filled up some buckets of water. By the time I got to their kitchen they had shut that door and window....and I stood behind the wall and when one came around the corner I doused him...then the next one. Heh! Heh! This water fight when on most of the afternoon, around the yard and in both apartments. We all squeezed into the shower at one point with an umbrella too.

Sorry to let you down BL and Donger. :(

Guess you hadda be there. :p

[Baby Lee]

Now to finish...all four were standing on their back porch with their kitchen window and door open and just a screen on them one Saturday afternoon on a hot summer day.I had the hose on in the yard down below, and in the middle of talking to them I decided to spray them with water, then aimed it through their kitchen door and window. Then I let my other female roomate take over. And then the two male one's got into it. I snuck in up the front stairs and they actually had their front entrance door unlocked. I filled up some buckets of water. By the time I got to their kitchen they had shut that door and window....and I stood behind the wall and when one came around the corner I doused him...then the next one. Heh! Heh! This water fight when on most of the afternoon, around the yard and in both apartments. We all squeezed into the shower at one point with an umbrella too.

Sorry to let you down BL and Donger. :(
DV-DA and an umbrella? :eek:

[Megbert]

I've had friendly neighbors that have left handwritten notes on my front door that read: "Your house is a disgrace, do something about your fence and your animals A WARNING!!!"

Another time I had a note that some one used 2 wood screws to attatch to the side of my house the note said something about my dogs barking.

I also got a note in the mail. From the envelope I thought it was the humane society or some thing like that because it was addressed to 'dog owner' Inside the envelope was a nice letter telling me to 'shut my f#%@ing dog up" and that they were doing the nice thing by sending this note and not reporting me to the city and blah blah blah.

Then there's my HOA people.

[Megbert]

I did live in an apartment complex and one of my neighbors would order pron and somehow I would also get it. But it was that softcore hotel type pron.

[BucEyedPea]

BL,
Another night my female roomate, myself and a friend of mine with came back in form jogging at night. We saw cars on the street and found out they were having a dinner party upstairs. So we climbed onto a tree branch close to their their dining room window with nylon stockings on our heads squishing our faces into horrifying criminal ones! :p It shocked one of their girlfriends who screamed. Then we jumped and ran for it.

[Rain Man]

My gawd RM, you think women improve their appearance in order to GET LAID?
And you think guys see full on beaver, and get all upset if the bewbies are a little smaller than they looked earlier?
Do you LIVE on this planet, or did the interweb send a tube to the moon?

Yeah, but it's just wrong. It's like The Crying Game in principle. You shouldn't surprise people in that situation.

[Rain Man]

I've had friendly neighbors that have left handwritten notes on my front door that read: "Your house is a disgrace, do something about your fence and your animals A WARNING!!!"

Another time I had a note that some one used 2 wood screws to attatch to the side of my house the note said something about my dogs barking.

I also got a note in the mail. From the envelope I thought it was the humane society or some thing like that because it was addressed to 'dog owner' Inside the envelope was a nice letter telling me to 'shut my f#%@ing dog up" and that they were doing the nice thing by sending this note and not reporting me to the city and blah blah blah.

Then there's my HOA people.

Have any of your neighbors ever put up a sign that said "Retard's in Area"? Because that's when you know they've reached their limit.

[BucEyedPea]

Same year, same apartment. Was a duplex btw. 2 guys 2 girls...all friends. I did some work for a travel agency and got a huge discount on a trip to Bermuda as a result and all paid for. Everyone, plus another friend was to come. Every cancelled one month before...and my other gf broke her arm and couldn't go. So I went alone. I came back with the crew of the British HMS Inteprid that docked in Bermuda that I met in a pub nearby at the end of the island. I brought them home with me...British sailors hangin' out of nearly every window. Neighbors were out front watching the whole thing including the dudes upstairs. I am the entertaining neighbor here. I still have the Brit flag they gave me and an Xmas card they sent me 6 months later.

[Otter]

I have a neighbor; he’s the nicest guy in the world and puts up with me watching the Chiefs on Sundays when we get together. It’s rare in this neck of the woods to find someone who will sit through an AFC West game.

For some reason he gets a hair up his ass once or twice a month and goes jogging down the main road in town wearing shorts that might have fit him about 15 years and 50lbs ago.

There is a 2 mile paved path that runs along the river where no one would ever see you but for some reason ol’ Jim needs to put on those shorts and run down the main road in all his glory.

Someday I'm going to catch him with my camera and have a new avatar.