The T.M.I. thread

[TinyEvel]

Post your "too much information" stories here....


"Chiefs D food poisoning dream"

Last night I was on CP for about an hour before going to bed. We're in Spokane for a reunion and I had gone out to a TGI Friday's knockoff reastaurant with the wife and cruised some bars drinking. Went to bed kind of bloated.

So, for what seemed like two hours I had this dream that the Chiefs D had food poisioning. I was at camp watching the drills and a bunch of the guys were on the sideline with bloated stomachs. Allen, Boomer, Mitchell, Even Turley (why he was with the D I had no idea).

Well, about 3 am I snap awake, jump out of bed and dash to the bathroom and proceed to squirt dirt into the toilet. I barely had enough time to flush and clean up the Jackson Pollock "vision in Brown" when I hurled about three huge heaves. I guess it was me and not the Chiefs D after all.

Felt a little better and crashed the rest of the night. Taking it easy now.
Random.

[Rain Man]

I had dinner with a couple once, and she said something about how she couldn't eat some type of food. I said, "Allergy, eh?"

She said no, and then proceeded to give me a lengthy explanation of her affliction, which somehow involved carbs or salt or something that would crystallize in her vulvar region and then cause great discomfort. It was a very detailed explanation. By the time she had finished, I had actually calculated the interest and principal portions of my home loan in my head.

[Discuss Thrower]

I had dinner with a couple once, and she said something about how she couldn't eat some type of food. I said, "Allergy, eh?"

She said no, and then proceeded to give me a lengthy explanation of her affliction, which somehow involved carbs or salt or something that would crystallize in her vulvar region and then cause great discomfort. It was a very detailed explanation. By the time she had finished, I had actually calculated the interest and principal portions of my home loan in my head.

w.....t......f? That would certainly break my concentration if I heard that. And make me run screaming from the FRICKING ROOM.

[Moooo]

I had dinner with a couple once, and she said something about how she couldn't eat some type of food. I said, "Allergy, eh?"

She said no, and then proceeded to give me a lengthy explanation of her affliction, which somehow involved carbs or salt or something that would crystallize in her vulvar region and then cause great discomfort. It was a very detailed explanation. By the time she had finished, I had actually calculated the interest and principal portions of my home loan in my head.

I worked in a pharmacy and had a customer talk to me for 30 minutes about her "vaginal itch." Apparantly she had a venerial disease which was incurable!

Moooo

[DiaperBoy27]

"-Why is it, whenever I tell a guy they can put it wherever they want, they always put it in my butt?

-Too much information!

-No, too much information would be to say that when it's over, I take a huge dump...on his chest."

[DeepSouth]

Went to lunch with a bunch of co-workers today. One of the newest young ladies was telling us how her IUD showed up on the ex-rays they took when she took her company physical.

Us guys found it kind of entertaining. The other ladies were all looking at her like she was a moron.

[MOhillbilly]

i kill immagrant workers,put the bodies in barrels and pickle them. Then sell and ship them to rich republicans.

i do the same for liberals, though i dont like killing babies. but the money is sooooo good.

[Moooo]

Went to lunch with a bunch of co-workers today. One of the newest young ladies was telling us how her IUD showed up on the ex-rays they took when she took her company physical.

Us guys found it kind of entertaining. The other ladies were all looking at her like she was a moron.

And now you know you don't have to worry about kids when you get some.

I'm not sounding conceited, but I seriously think some of the "non-bright" women drop things like this for that reason. Most self-respecting women won't, but the occasional insecure girl will thinking this will get them positive attention.

I'm a young pup, but I've seen it. This especially happens whenever they get a beer or two in them, but I've also seen them do this when they're just regular.

Moooo

[TinyEvel]

When my daughter was about 2-3 months old and still breast feeding her poo diaper consisted of a yellowy goo that smelled EXACTLY like butter flavor microwave popcorn. Swear to God. So much that my wife was changing a diaper when my buddy came over and he walked in and said "Who's making popcorn?"
I had to show him the load (and convince him to whiff) to prove it.

[Fat Elvis]

When my daughter was about 2-3 months old and still breast feeding her poo diaper consisted of a yellowy goo that smelled EXACTLY like butter flavor microwave popcorn. Swear to God. So much that my wife was changing a diaper when my buddy came over and he walked in and said "Who's making popcorn?"
I had to show him the load (and convince him to whiff) to prove it.

I always thought baby poo smelled kind of like curried yogurt....

As long as they are breast feeding, the poo smell is ok in my book, but once they start eating food, their poop stinks just like anyone else's.....

[pr_capone]

I'm six inches long and curve to the left.

:D

[BucEyedPea]

My bunny died.
This week.
I cried. :(

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I'm six inches long and curve to the left.

:D


Me too. Limp. ;)

[grandllama]

Instead of reposting my TMI stories, just do a search for any post I've ever made after 9pm and before 8am

[pr_capone]

Me too. Limp. ;)
ROFL

I have a grower. Limp... its just not very impressive.

[Donger]

A dated a girl in high school that was nuts. She told me that one of her fantasies was to do something sexual in front of her father without him knowing about it.

So, one night I was at her house chatting with her Dad. She sat down next to me on the sofa (Dad was on the opposite sofa) and put a blanket over our laps. The crazy b*tch then unzips my fly, took out my d*ck and starts jerking me off.

I suppose that's an example of just the right amount of information, but I didn't believe it.