So I found a lump under my sac

[Nzoner]

There I sat in my underwear watching the play-offs in my recliner last Saturday when I felt the need to scratch and what do I discover but a lump just under my nutsac.Of course I'm suddenly thinking wtf as I further my search and realize this thing is about the size of a nickel under my skin.

Great,I'm thinking as I realize I'm going to be making a trip to the doc,naturally I have to wait until Monday to make the appt.(it gets set for yesterday) and so I have all week to wonder wtf this thing is.So during the course of the week I begin to experience pain in and around the area including my package.

Thankfully yesterday arrives and I'm escorted by the nurse to a room where I'm asked if I want a full gown or a blanket and I say I don't care whatever is easier for the doc and so I'm handed a blanket.

So there I sit naked from the waist down except for my blue dress socks sticking out on my feet from the bottom of the blanket and I wait,and wait,and wait some more.

35 minutes later the doc comes in and apologizes for the wait,well when I'm nervous I like to resort to an attempt of humor so I say to him,"it's no problem I've just been sitting here buck naked for 35 minutes knowing that another man was going to walk through the door and inspect my package and the like,and I gotta tell ya doc I'm a bit uncomfortable."

He gives me an look and says,"well I'm glad to see you have a sense of humor about this."

I tell him the full story of what's going on and he says,"well let's have a look."

I lay back pull the blanket aside and he begins his inspection.I'm looking at the ceiling trying to think of whatever just wanting this moment of my life to be over,Now.

Come to find out I've been bitten by something and instead of coming to a head and easing my worries it's stayed under the skin and developed quite the lump.

Longer story short the doc basically tells me to hold on as he lances this thing and begins to squeeze under my nutsac which immediately sends a signal to my brain for my body to convulse and my mouth to let out a gasp while furiously chomping at my gum(which thankfully I had put in before going to the appointment.)

Six hard squeezes later and numerous I'm sorries from the doc a tearful Nzoner is told he can sit up and I'm given some alcohol swabs and an antibiotic and then told we're going to give it a week and if this thing doesn't go away it will have to be surgically removed. :deevee:

[JBucc]

So wait, something bit your nutsack? Like, a spider?

[Phobia]

Does your Doc know you kiss and tell like this?

[Skip Towne]

So wait, something bit your nutsack? Like, a spider?
just don't ask any questions, K?

[HC_Chief]

So wait, something bit your nutsack? Like, a spider?

How in the hell did you get bit on the coin purse?

[Fish]

Ohh my word man.... I thought I was having a rough week.....

Hope your taint heals.... Maybe some whiskey (taken orally) will help with that....

[morphius]

My son got bit there when he was 3, not sure how. Everything swelled up, having to look at a 3 year old's "pee pee" is bad enough, but when grows to the size of a grown mans...

Was pretty gross, but at the same time I was sorta proud.

[HemiEd]

Bed Bugs?



Holy Shit Joe, that sucks.

[Rooster]

On the bright side at least it was just a bite. I hate going to the doctor.

[Donger]

I'm hyper-allergic to mosquito bites, which was fun growing up in KC. Anyway, I was once bitten on the end of my Donger. It swelled up like crazy. My mother made me go to the doctor, too. Naturally, the female nurse did the examination. Quote: "Oh my, I've never seen anything quite like that before!"

[Bob Dole]

Bob Dole is extremely sorry he clicked on this topic.

[HC_Chief]

I'm hyper-allergic to mosquito bites, which was fun growing up in KC. Anyway, I was once bitten on the end of my Donger. It swelled up like crazy. My mother made me go to the doctor, too. Naturally, the female nurse did the examination. Quote: "Oh my, I've never seen anything quite like that before!"

"Looks like a baby's arm, holding an apple"

[Donger]

"Looks like a baby's arm, holding an apple"

IIRC, my Dad's words were, "Jesus Christ! Looks like a f*cking clock pendulum!!"

I didn't live that incident down for many, many years.

[Crashride]

You got a boner dont lie

[Kyle401]

This thread is perfectly fine without pics...





Hope you don't have to go back for a second session.

[leviw]

You got a boner dont lie

Beat me to it. I was really hoping that's where that story would go.

"Sorry, doc. Nothing personal...well, OK...maybe a little personal."

[StcChief]

Spider bite? I got one on my leg.

[BucEyedPea]

Sounds nuts in here.

[Halfcan]

Yikes sounds very painful-good luck, I am sure it will work, out for ya.

[Mr. Kotter]

I once had a cyst there. Doc had me do the same thing, but I eventually had to have it (the CYST that is) surgically removed too. It was not too bad.

If you want, I could bring my Bowie Knife next weekend, because I kinda remember how they did it. It would save you some cash for the doctor visit, and we could just use the JD as an antiseptic.



:)

[Bwana]

Damn :shake:

[burt]

I once had a cyst there. Doc had me do the same thing, but I eventually had to have it (the CYST that is) surgically removed too. It was not too bad.

If you want, I could bring my Bowie Knife next weekend, because I kinda remember how they did it. It would save you some cash for the doctor visit, and we could just use the JD as an antiseptic.


STOP SAYING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[boogblaster]

hell you could've saved that office call..next time just straddle your garbage-disposal..removes a nut-bump every time.....

[ChiefsFire]

I'm hyper-allergic to mosquito bites, which was fun growing up in KC. Anyway, I was once bitten on the end of my Donger. It swelled up like crazy. My mother made me go to the doctor, too. Naturally, the female nurse did the examination. Quote: "Oh my, I've never seen anything quite like that before!"
how the hell did you get bit on the end of your tillywhacker by a mosquito???

was the nurse like 80 with big hairy chin moles?

[Bootlegged]

Somethings aren't meant to be shared. Especially on the Interweb.

[PinkFloyd]

If he thought there was poison in there, you could have had a good looking nurse suck it out !!! :hmmm:

The poison that is !!!!



ROFL

[Chiefs_Mike_Topeka]

I once had a cyst there. Doc had me do the same thing, but I eventually had to have it (the CYST that is) surgically removed too. It was not too bad.

If you want, I could bring my Bowie Knife next weekend, because I kinda remember how they did it. It would save you some cash for the doctor visit, and we could just use the JD as an antiseptic.



:)


Just to clarify here;

You are volunteering to personally fondle his junk? Is the JD really just to help lower his inhibitions?

:eek:

[Chiefs_Mike_Topeka]

Nzoner

That must be one hell of a case of crabs you got there! Do you have a couple of little lobsters hanging on to your teabag?

[whoaskew]

how the hell did you get bit on the end of your tillywhacker by a mosquito???



Maybe the mosquito was looking for a toothpick...

ROFL

LOL

ROFL

LOL

[chagrin]

Lucky you, dude - good thing no cancer.

[chagrin]

I kinda had the same as Kotter once, it was scary but once they say "no cancer" it's all good.

[ChiefsFire]

Lucky you, dude - good thing no cancer.
no chit

ball cancer is the worst

[chagrin]

I don't know, it's all kinda F'd up, heh

[Coach]

Damn, good thing I wasn't eating while reading this.

Hopefully it's just a bite, and nothing cancerous Joe.

[Nzoner]

Bob Dole is extremely sorry he clicked on this topic.

Nzoner thinks he'll be extremely sorry he started this topic with the bash only one week away.

[Nzoner]

If you want, I could bring my Bowie Knife next weekend, because I kinda remember how they did it. It would save you some cash for the doctor visit, and we could just use the JD as an antiseptic.
:)

If you're staying in the gameroom next Saturday night I'm in for an all-nighter because no way in hell am I closing my eyes with you around.

[Mr. Kotter]

If you're staying in the gameroom next Saturday night I'm in for an all-nighter because no way in hell am I closing my eyes with you around.

Heh. Now would I really do that to you? :shrug:

ROFL

[Demonpenz]

my right ball hurts after i got done lifting weights yesterday. I coughed really hard right after doing my max. No lump yet. I am worred alittle bit. Oh well. atleast it wasn't a nutria bite like nzoners

[Easy 6]

I found an ugly lump under my bean bag the other day to, turns out it was just a donx fan with a taste for "salad".

[stumppy]

I once had a cyst there. Doc had me do the same thing, but I eventually had to have it (the CYST that is) surgically removed too. It was not too bad.

If you want, I could bring my Bowie Knife next weekend, because I kinda remember how they did it. It would save you some cash for the doctor visit, and we could just use the JD as an antiseptic.



:)



Kotter finally outs himself.

[Mr. Kotter]

Kotter finally outs himself.

You must have real issues to intepret THAT out of what I said..... :p

[Logical]

Sorry Joe, this is painful to even read. Be sure you keep those alcohol swabs away from your nutsack.

[stumppy]

You must have real issues to intepret THAT out of what I said..... :p

Eh....slow night.

[007]

Glad it wasn't something much more serious.

[HemiEd]

Nzoner thinks he'll be extremely sorry he started this topic with the bash only one week away.
ROFL You may be right on that.