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View Full Version : Poop experts: What's your preferred method of dealing with constipation?


RealSNR
11-09-2006, 09:53 AM
Change in diet? Meds? What?

SLAG
11-09-2006, 09:55 AM
2 Mickeys 40oz

DMAC
11-09-2006, 09:57 AM
Ask this guy...I hear he has a trick.

http://www.homevideos.com/freezeframes1203/dumb53.jpeg

ChiTown
11-09-2006, 09:58 AM
For chrissakes, be a man about this. Just stick your mit up your hole and get it out of there.........

DMAC
11-09-2006, 10:02 AM
For chrissakes, be a man about this. Just stick your mit up your hole and get it out of there.........shutter shutter shutter

Hog's Gone Fishin
11-09-2006, 10:05 AM
Stick a garden Hose up your ass.

Baby Lee
11-09-2006, 10:06 AM
Call Bobby Brown.

KCFalcon59
11-09-2006, 10:08 AM
Coffee. Two cups and it time to hit the shitter.

boogblaster
11-09-2006, 10:09 AM
Michael Jackson has a method ....

booyaf2
11-09-2006, 10:10 AM
i hear antifreeze works, but i could be wrong.

rad
11-09-2006, 10:13 AM
1 Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.

Saulbadguy
11-09-2006, 10:15 AM
Fleet enema. They are cheap, and work well.

MichaelH
11-09-2006, 10:26 AM
I have never been constipated. The beer and coffee in my diet ensures that.

listopencil
11-09-2006, 10:46 AM
Just man up and sit there until it comes out. Grab a book or something.

RealSNR
11-09-2006, 10:51 AM
For the record, I'm not constipated right now. I just wanted to get a flow of ideas going through.

That, and after tonight's banquet that I'm about to attend, I probably will be. All you can eat meat and cheese and champagne = road block

Fish
11-09-2006, 10:53 AM
Taco Bell Value Menu + 1/5 Cheap whiskey = constipationless....

Chief Faithful
11-09-2006, 10:57 AM
Change in diet? Meds? What?

Seriously, try a glass of Metamucil every morning. Tastes good and it will permanently cure your ills.

StcChief
11-09-2006, 11:06 AM
Eat enough roughage.

DaneMcCloud
11-09-2006, 11:09 AM
One teaspoon of Sea Salt (not Iodized salt) in 32 oz glass of warm water. Watch out though. You'll spray mud for about 4 hours afterward.

Mr. Kotter
11-09-2006, 11:19 AM
Enema?

Mr. Kotter
11-09-2006, 11:21 AM
Fleet enema. They are cheap, and work well.

Heh. Shoulda known I wouldn't be the first smart azz....:p

Chief Chief
11-09-2006, 11:22 AM
A plunger, followed by a vacuum cleaner with hose.

PastorMikH
11-09-2006, 11:23 AM
Hold it a little longer and give thanks that your problem isn't at the other extreme of the spectrum.


:)

Baby Lee
11-09-2006, 11:24 AM
Enema?
With friends like Kotter, who needs enemas?

ROFL - oldie but goodie.

Chief Faithful
11-09-2006, 11:28 AM
Dish soap, either end will work.

trndobrd
11-09-2006, 11:31 AM
For the record, I'm not constipated right now. I just wanted to get a flow of ideas going through.

That, and after tonight's banquet that I'm about to attend, I probably will be. All you can eat meat and cheese and champagne = road block


Have a spinach salad for lunch today. Eat a nice apple before you go to the banquet.

Start tomorrow morning off with a nice bowl of rasin bran, and a couple cups of coffee. By 10am you'll be on the move.

Chief Faithful
11-09-2006, 11:31 AM
Call Bobby Brown.

Be careful, you don't want any trash compacting going on.

BucEyedPea
11-09-2006, 11:42 AM
4 Potassium Asporotate capsules ( Solaray) 99 mgs each

And drink more water.

Even though it is a sign of bad diet. BTW apples bind.

penchief
11-09-2006, 11:44 AM
A crossword puzzle and running bathwater.

KcMizzou
11-09-2006, 12:00 PM
jalapenos and beer

MOhillbilly
11-09-2006, 01:16 PM
1/2 pint of hundred proof every night.

KCChiefsFan88
11-09-2006, 01:26 PM
1) Order and eat everything on Taco Bell's menu
2) Drink 4 giant mugs of coffee
3) Eat 2 large bowls of pure bran with prunes on top
4) Eat a cauliflower, brocolli, bean salad
5) Drink at least 5 glasses of imported tap water from India (can sub Mexican tap water if desired)

That should clean you out

penchief
11-09-2006, 01:37 PM
1) Order and eat everything on Taco Bell's menu
2) Drink 4 giant mugs of coffee
3) Eat 2 large bowls of pure bran with prunes on top
4) Eat a cauliflower, brocolli, bean salad
5) Drink at least 5 glasses of imported tap water from India (can sub Mexican tap water if desired)

That should clean you out

Or if you're lactose intolerant.......eat two large bowls of Frosted Mini Wheats just before you go to bed and make sure to drink the leftover milk out of the bowl. When you wake up in the morning you'll experience a big shit.

Que Card QB
11-09-2006, 01:50 PM
Apples and lots of water.

Que Card QB
11-09-2006, 01:50 PM
or Fleet.

Redrum_69
11-09-2006, 01:56 PM
Gerbils

2112
11-09-2006, 02:06 PM
Fruit...lots and lots of fruit..it will loosen ya right up bud :)

StcChief
11-09-2006, 04:58 PM
One teaspoon of Sea Salt (not Iodized salt) in 32 oz glass of warm water. Watch out though. You'll spray mud for about 4 hours afterward.

You too could become the likes of TUBGIRL
ROFL

Eleazar
11-09-2006, 05:21 PM
1. Go to Buffalo Wild Wings
2. Order 6 of the "Blazin'" variety
3. Eat.
4. Poo.

KChiefs1
11-09-2006, 05:31 PM
I must be constipated because I've gained 13lbs since Sunday morning....