Jeff Foxworthy on Kansas

[chiefbowe82]

>
>> If you're proud that your region makes the list each year because it's
>> the
>> hottest or coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If your dad's suntan stops at a line around the middle of his forehead,
> you
>> might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you have worn shorts and a sweatshirt at the same time, you might live
>> in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
>> Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you have a lengthy conversation with someone who dialed the wrong
>> number, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If a "Vacation" means going east or west on I-70 for the weekend, you
> might
>> live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you might
>> live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" and back again in the same day,
>> you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you can drive 65 mph through 2 ft of snow during a raging blizzard
>> without flinching, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you see people wearing camouflage at social events (including
> weddings),
>> you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
>> unlocked, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
> use
>> them, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you
> might
>> live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
>> snow, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you know all 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost summer, and road
>> construction, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
>> blue spruce, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you are unaware that there is a legal drinking age.., you might live
>> in
>> Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If going down south means Oklahoma, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If a brat is something you eat, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed, you might
>> live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If your idea of going out to eat is a tailgate party every Friday, you
>> might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you find "0" degrees to be a little chilly, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>>
>> If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your
>> Kansas friends, you might live in Kansas.
>>
>
>
>

[BigRedChief]

If you are going to post chain letters at least do us the courtsey of fixing the formatting.

[chiefbowe82]

bitch please

[BigRedChief]

bitch please
Okay n00b bring it!
http://www.forumspile.com/Belittle-Crushed_Gerbil.jpg

[chiefbowe82]

I'm quite offended to be called a noob on the chiefsplanet forum. As being an expertise here is really a big factor in my day.

[Archie F. Swin]

can you deny any of those?

[chiefbowe82]

>> If you can drive 65 mph through 2 ft of snow during a raging blizzard
>> without flinching, you might live in Kansas.

Surely he realizes it takes about 3 years to get that much anymore

[Valiant]

can you deny any of those?


Pretty much the road ones are false.. Kansas has some of the best roads in the States...

[BigRedChief]

I'm quite offended to be called a noob on the chiefsplanet forum. As being an expertise here is really a big factor in my day.
http://www.forumspile.com/Care-Where_in_the_world.jpg

[ExtremeChief]

Did George Carlin write this?

[BigRedChief]

Did George Carlin write this?
Andy Ronney or Ted Nugent?

[Archie F. Swin]

As being an expertise here is really a big factor in my day.

apparently you missed grammar school that day :hmmm:

[ExtremeChief]

Andy Ronney or Ted Nugent?


Maybe Robin Williams, while wearing a shirt with Arabic on it.

[pr_capone]

apparently you missed grammar school that day :hmmm:

Dammit... beat me to it. ROFL ROFL ROFL

[Eleazar]

I'm quite offended to be called a noob on the chiefsplanet forum. As being an expertise here is really a big factor in my day.

Is you need hlep to move the money from bank Nigeria?

[PastorMikH]

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Kansas.


YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!!



If you know all 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost summer, and road construction, you might live in Kansas.



That nail's hit pretty square on the head too!

[PastorMikH]

>> If you can drive 65 mph through 2 ft of snow during a raging blizzard
>> without flinching, you might live in Kansas.

Surely he realizes it takes about 3 years to get that much anymore



It is amazing how 2 INCHES of snow can be downright blinding when the wind is blowing in Kansas.

[PastorMikH]

Pretty much the road ones are false.. Kansas has some of the best roads in the States...



No they aren't. I agree Kansas does have some of the best roads around, but you can't drive more than 2 hours anywhere in the state without having to stop/slow down for road construction.

It's amazing how much road work they can get done with a 39 cents a gallon tax.

[Halfcan]

Those are pretty good-and accurate. I have worn a sweatshit and shorts though-who hasn't?

[007]

Those are all pretty damn accurate.

I cracked up on the measuring distance in hours. Hell, I thought everyone did that.

[Halfcan]

If you have to stop on the side of the road to get a tumbleweed out of you car grill-you might be in Kansas.

[Halfcan]

If your Basketball team chokes every year in the NCAA Tournament and gets beat by a no name team-you might be in Kansas

[007]

If your Basketball team chokes every year in the NCAA Tournament and gets beat by a no name team-you might be in Kansas

That is only under Bill Self so far.

Oh, and they DID have a name. Though I have no idea what it was.

[luv]

Those are all pretty damn accurate.

I cracked up on the measuring distance in hours. Hell, I thought everyone did that.
Have I ever told you I like your sig?

[Halfcan]

Have I ever told you I like your sig?

Nice pick up line-lol


If the best line you got is Go Jayhawks when trying to hit on a girl in a bar- You might be in Kansas.

[Halfcan]

That is only under Bill Self so far.

Oh, and they DID have a name. Though I have no idea what it was.


If you don't think that Ex jayhawk coach Roy Williams did not Resemble Huckleberry Hound-you might be in Kansas.

[luv]

Nice pick up line-lol


If the best line you got is Go Jayhawks when trying to hit on a girl in a bar- You might be in Kansas.
It's probably more effective than saying Go Tigers to a chick in Missouri.

Speaking of hitting on people, did that chick you gave your number to at your friend's birthday party at that club ever call you?

[Halfcan]

If your radio keeps going without hitting a station after you push Scan-you might be in Kansas

[Halfcan]

If you do all your grocery shopping for the week at the same place your getting a Deer processed-you might be in Kansas

[Halfcan]

It's probably more effective than saying Go Tigers to a chick in Missouri.

Speaking of hitting on people, did that chick you gave your number to at your friend's birthday party at that club ever call you?

Lets see-which party and club was that?-they have all kind of blended together lately?? I am sure she did-they always do- :)

[Halfcan]

If you wear a stocking cap under a Cowboy hat in winter-you might be in Kansas.

[Halfcan]

If you own more than one "Limited Edition" racing T-shirt and actually consider them a long-term investment-you might be in Kansas

[Halfcan]

If you have a gun rack in your house, in your truck, and on your ATV- you might be in Kansas.

[Halfcan]

If the Day Care for your kids doubles as a Gas Station and Liquor store- you might be in Kansas

[Halfcan]

If your entertainment for the night is reading a bunch of post by Halfcan-you might be in Kansas

[SPchief]

if its a halfcan attention whore thread, you might be in Kansas