SLQ
01-22-2007, 06:17 PM
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=headline))
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick
up some groceries.
Several people (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=people) noticed her sitting in her car (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=car) with the windows
rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind
the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.
He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot
in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove
her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making
a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the
dough and thought it was her brains.
She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold
her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came
to her aid.
Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.
(the actual AP headline (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=headline))
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her
in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick
up some groceries.
Several people (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=people) noticed her sitting in her car (http://www.srch-results.com/lm/dir_rxt.asp?k=car) with the windows
rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind
the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became
concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's
eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.
He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot
in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in
for over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car
because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove
her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making
a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the
dough and thought it was her brains.
She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold
her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came
to her aid.
Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant.