Humor Me thread ........

[ROYC75]

With all the dipshit comments and threads this week, bitching, complaining about one another, it's time for a pick me , make me laugh thread.

I'll start, Here ya go, ( WARNING, Probally safe for most work places, but keep the volume down. )
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2015080214

[rad]

Q: Why did God give women orgasms?

A: So they would have something else to moan about.

[Wile_E_Coyote]

you think it is funny that a chicken would light a huge firecracker next to a sleeping dog? Your avatar just shows what an insensitive mouth breather you are










:)

[afchiefs]

why not a list of the funniest posts made. Here is my nomination. Probably because it hits so close to home. ROFL

Originally Posted by wilas101

Being the father of a girl who will turn 13 in July I have a real hard time believing any 13 y/o girl would think to do this. Mine and all of her friends are only about one more episode of 'Hannah Montana' away from being legally retarded. I'm willing to believe the rest of the 13 year olds in the world are the same way.

[rad]

Did you hear about the new paint color that’s coming out?

It’s called blonde.

It’s not very bright, but it spreads easy.

[rad]

A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”

He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”

She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”

[rad]

A man goes into a bar and orders 12 shots of tequila. The bartender looks on as the guy downs one after another.

As he slams the 10th one, the bartender says, "I don’t think you should be drinking those so fast."

"You would if you had what I have," the man says, throwing back number 11.

"Well, what is it you have?"

The man throws back his last shot and says, "Fifty cents."

[StcChief]

must be the anti-freeze then....

[Redrum_69]

You want humor?


How bout this


TWELVES YEARS AGO YESTERDAY


Quarterback Joe Montana announces his retirement from football ...April 18, 1995


Since then we havent won a playoff game

[Dr. Johnny Fever]

Why are gays always the first one's to arrive at the airport for morning flights?

cause they got their shit packed the night before.












:spock:

I'm not proud.

[Redrum_69]

Denver broncos cheated on the salary cap and won two super bowls while cheating, otherwise proving that cheaters DO win

[chasedude]

Must be the Taco Bell I drive through, they're all idiots!

[Simply Red]

Pussy or Hostess Suzy Q's? Tell me now:

Don't be a bitch about it either!

[DMAC]

http://master01.spikedhumor.com/99531/99531_h_2702_40_medium_vw.jpg

http://master01.spikedhumor.com/99549/99549_h_2702_14_medium_vw.jpg

http://master01.spikedhumor.com/99538/99538_h_2702_29_medium_vw.jpg

http://master01.spikedhumor.com/99547/99547_h_2702_18_medium_vw.jpg

[afchiefs]

A penguin is driving down the road when his car breaks down. While the mechanic is looking at it, he goes across the street into a grocery store and hops in the frezzer to cool down. While he's in there he eats a whole quart of ice cream then goes back to the mechanic. The mechanic sees him coming and says, " Man you blew a seal"
The penguin replies,










No, it's just ice cream, Honest!

[DMAC]

I'm sure I have posted this before..but its one of my favorites........




A Pollock walks into a bar with a steamy pile of shit in his hands and yells, "HEY EVERYONE, LOOK WHAT I ALMOST STEPPED IN!!"

[boogblaster]

A elderly couple meets at a social-event..they decide to go fishing the next weekend..they are in the boat traveling the river..they come to a branch he asks up or down..she jumps up takes off her cloths and makes mad-love to him..they travel on come to another branch he askes up or down again she takes off everything and makesmad love to him...the next weekend they go fishing again they come to a branch he says up or down she says up so off they go ..later another branch comes up he asks again up or down she says down..confessed he asks last week you made love to me when I asked that question.. she said yes I know but I left my hearing-aide at home I thought you said F**k or drown ..

[tooge]

Lady wakes up in bed to find her husband not there. she goes downstairs and finds him in the kitchen staring blankly at the wall. It is the 20th anniversary of their having met when he was 19 and she was 16. He begins to recount the past years with her of all the memories together. She consoles him as he sobs. He recounts how on the first date her father had found them in the back seat of the car and said " You marry her or I'm sending you to jail for 20 years". Why are you crying honey she asks, "today would have been 20 years."

[afchiefs]

A couple in their 80's decided to get married but the woman insisted on 3 things.

1. I love my house and want us to live there. His reply, Sure

2. I love my car and want to keep it. His reply, OK

3. I love making love and want to have sex at least 6 times a week. His reply, Fine Put me down for fridays.