Hypothetical: You're on a Game Show

[Rain Man]

You're walking along the street and you see a line and you ask the lady at the back of the line, a lady with a beehive hairdo and those cat-eye glasses, what's going on, and she tells you that it's a new game show and they're going to pull people from the audience to play on it, and you might as well get in line, so you do. You file into the audience area and they give you a big name tag to put on your chest and you do so not out of optimism but more because everyone else is doing it and you would look bad if you didn't. So you put it on and you're sitting around and Bob Barker comes out and, lo and behold, they call your name and you run run run down to the podium even though you have no idea what the show is about. Bob then asks everyone three questions, and the winner gets a prize, and on Question 1 you guess the closest to the actual price of acquiring a prostitute in Phnom Penh, so you're up by one. Bob then asks Question 2, and the woman next to you, a Jersey girl with those bangs that point straight up in the air thanks to a dedicated gum-chewing hair stylist and a whole lot of Dippity-Do, guesses closest to the actual cost of hiring a hit man in Novosibirsk to knock off a 70-year old landlady, and you and she are tied up. Then, Bob asks Question 3, and you're stoked because you know exactly how much it costs to have a goatherd pull you out of a well in southern Venezuela after you've been pushed into it by a horde of angry Miss Venezuela beauty contestants who believe that you unfairly favored Miss Caracas because of her impressive lung capacity. So you answer and win, and Bob gives you your prize options and Sally Struthers comes onstage and you come to understand that this is not just any game show, but rather a game show that weighs one's motives. You're asked to pick your prize from those shown in the (forthcoming) poll. Which one do you pick?

[chubychecker]

I lost you at walking on the street.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

I'm the S.O.B that would take the $1000 and thank you very much.

[luv]

But what if one of your relatives is watching the show, sees you choose an option, and then they receive a check?

[Bugeater]

I'll take the $1,000. Screw everyone else.

[milkman]

I'm the S.O.B that would take the $1000 and thank you very much.

Now that's talking like the son I can be proud of!

Damn right.
Give me my money, Bob!

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Now that's talking like the son I can be proud of!

Damn right.
Give me my money, Bob!


We learn by those examples we are given.

[luv]

Greedy bastages!

[milkman]

We learn by those examples we are given.

Then I did a fine job.

Chip off the old block.

[Rain Man]

But what if one of your relatives is watching the show, sees you choose an option, and then they receive a check?

Then they're killed in the night by Salvadoran death squads. You don't mess with Bob Barker and live to tell about it.

[milkman]

Greedy bastages!

Thank you.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Greedy bastages!


Yes. That is more than a half correct answer.

[luv]

Then they're killed in the night by Salvadoran death squads. You don't mess with Bob Barker and live to tell about it.
Well then. Due to the slight risk that a family member could be killed, I would have to make the sacrifice and take the $1000 for myself.

[milkman]

Well then. Due to the slight risk that a family member could be killed, I would have to make the sacrifice and take the $1000 for myself.

You are such a compassionate person.

[luv]

You are such a compassionate person.
Careful. I can turn into a bitch at any moment. :p

[cdcox]

Why so many periods?

[milkman]

Careful. I can turn into a bitch at any moment. :p

Care to guess when that moment will be?

[luv]

Care to guess when that moment will be?
Hell, I never know either.

[milkman]

Hell, I never know either.

We're screwed.

[luv]

We're screwed.
I'm not. I've got $1000 in my pocket.

[milkman]

I'm not. I've got $1000 in my pocket.

Can I borrow some.

I gotta buy a Mother's Day gift.

[luv]

Can I borrow some.

I gotta buy a Mother's Day gift.
LMAO

I wonder how many more threads we can cross reference?

[milkman]

LMAO

I wonder how many more threads we can cross reference?

I don't know.

Ask me something I know, like a football question.

[luv]

I don't know.

Ask me something I know, like a football question.
Which do you want, something you know or a football question?

[milkman]

Which do you want, something you know or a football question?

I guess we found that moment.

[luv]

I guess we found that moment.
:)