DJay23
06-10-2007, 04:50 PM
I've posted here in the past with relationship questions/issues just to get feedback from the, "general populus" instead of people who know me really well. I mean I talk with my friends about these things, but I like to get a number of different perspectives.
So here's the deal. A young lady who I work with (fairly new) and find attractive in more than just the physical way, has been very flirty recently. I was quite disturbed since she wears a ring on the appropriate finger, so I flirted back a little, but took it no further than that. Well this past weekend we had our big picnic. More flirting and then later in the evening, after much alcohol consumption, there was some drunken making out and promises of what we would do to one another if all these damn people weren't here. Now here's the thing. With probably anyone else I would have taken her out in the trees and introduced her to some wood, but this girl is different. Something about her made me want to hold off. Later in the evening a friend helped me take her to my place where she crashed, and I slept at the picnic site so as not to raise any more of an alarm (very gossipy women where I work). We got her car and parked it out front of my place, and I left her a note to tell her where she was. The next morning she was gone. I did not have her number, so I called a co-worker who had it. The coworker sounded excited that I wanted to call her, which I thought was good (She works very closely with her and has almost a motherly affection for her). I asked if she was in fact engaged, and I was informed that she was not. I asked why she wears a ring, and the coworker simply said, "she likes the ring." I find that a little uncool, but maybe there's a reason.
Ok, so I call her up and no answer. I left a message on her voicemail saying basically I hope she got home ok and that she's got my number now, give me a call. I sweated it out all yesterday (I tend to overthink everything and then assume the worst). Fast forward to today. I'm at the movies with my sister and nephew and I get a text from her, "Thanks for letting me crash at your place, I didn't plan on drinking that much." To which I responded, "We all got a little wild. Seriously, don't be shy, give me a call sometime!" That is where things are.
Here is what I know about her from my experiences in the past 6 months that she's worked there and from what friends gathered through talking to her the other night:
-From a really small town about a half hour from where I live.
-There is a guy who she's liked for a while and has seen off and on, but who is in a serious relationship right now.
-She was very shy at first, didn't really say much to anyone until the last several weeks when she suddenly came out of her shell and started flirting/etc (flirting involved throwing nerf balls at each other in sneak attacks and playing pranks like forging threatening letters from the boss but also always going out of our way to pass each other and say hi, make eye contact and smile).
-She's 25, I'm 29
-She's beautiful, nice fit body, intelligent person with a very sarcastic sense of humor.
-I'm pretty good looking, fit body, intelligent person with a very sarcastic sense of humor.
-We're teachers, she'll be teaching summer school so she'll be coming into town pretty regularly over the summer, and I live less than a mile from the school, plus I'll be going in there to lift several days a week.
Now, like I said, it is my nature to assume the worst in everything (kind of a defense mechanism I guess). I kind of feel like I'm being ignored at this point. That text message I could read as, "I'm going to say thanks, but in a way that doesn't make me have to talk to you."
I'm especially interested in hearing from the women here. What could she be thinking? I'm very confused right now, because everything leading up to and including that night pointed to something happening soon.
Is she embarrassed that she got so wasted and sort of exposed herself in front of new colleagues like that?
Could she still be pining for this other guy and just doesn't want to let that go?
Did she just want to have a little fun and is blowing me off?
Maybe she's had other plans all weekend?
Maybe she doesn't want to rush anything?
Maybe I'm rushing things ahead in my mind?
Or there's the distinct possibility that I think entirely too much about this kind of stuff and should just take to heart the fact that no flat out rejection has been made.
FWIW, I do have a booty call that I've relied on in the past to get through rough spots, so it's not like I'm sex starved, and I'm comfortable being single, though a relationship wouldn't be a bad thing in my life right now and she fits my mold. I'm just confused and wonder what others will make of the situation.
Thanks
So here's the deal. A young lady who I work with (fairly new) and find attractive in more than just the physical way, has been very flirty recently. I was quite disturbed since she wears a ring on the appropriate finger, so I flirted back a little, but took it no further than that. Well this past weekend we had our big picnic. More flirting and then later in the evening, after much alcohol consumption, there was some drunken making out and promises of what we would do to one another if all these damn people weren't here. Now here's the thing. With probably anyone else I would have taken her out in the trees and introduced her to some wood, but this girl is different. Something about her made me want to hold off. Later in the evening a friend helped me take her to my place where she crashed, and I slept at the picnic site so as not to raise any more of an alarm (very gossipy women where I work). We got her car and parked it out front of my place, and I left her a note to tell her where she was. The next morning she was gone. I did not have her number, so I called a co-worker who had it. The coworker sounded excited that I wanted to call her, which I thought was good (She works very closely with her and has almost a motherly affection for her). I asked if she was in fact engaged, and I was informed that she was not. I asked why she wears a ring, and the coworker simply said, "she likes the ring." I find that a little uncool, but maybe there's a reason.
Ok, so I call her up and no answer. I left a message on her voicemail saying basically I hope she got home ok and that she's got my number now, give me a call. I sweated it out all yesterday (I tend to overthink everything and then assume the worst). Fast forward to today. I'm at the movies with my sister and nephew and I get a text from her, "Thanks for letting me crash at your place, I didn't plan on drinking that much." To which I responded, "We all got a little wild. Seriously, don't be shy, give me a call sometime!" That is where things are.
Here is what I know about her from my experiences in the past 6 months that she's worked there and from what friends gathered through talking to her the other night:
-From a really small town about a half hour from where I live.
-There is a guy who she's liked for a while and has seen off and on, but who is in a serious relationship right now.
-She was very shy at first, didn't really say much to anyone until the last several weeks when she suddenly came out of her shell and started flirting/etc (flirting involved throwing nerf balls at each other in sneak attacks and playing pranks like forging threatening letters from the boss but also always going out of our way to pass each other and say hi, make eye contact and smile).
-She's 25, I'm 29
-She's beautiful, nice fit body, intelligent person with a very sarcastic sense of humor.
-I'm pretty good looking, fit body, intelligent person with a very sarcastic sense of humor.
-We're teachers, she'll be teaching summer school so she'll be coming into town pretty regularly over the summer, and I live less than a mile from the school, plus I'll be going in there to lift several days a week.
Now, like I said, it is my nature to assume the worst in everything (kind of a defense mechanism I guess). I kind of feel like I'm being ignored at this point. That text message I could read as, "I'm going to say thanks, but in a way that doesn't make me have to talk to you."
I'm especially interested in hearing from the women here. What could she be thinking? I'm very confused right now, because everything leading up to and including that night pointed to something happening soon.
Is she embarrassed that she got so wasted and sort of exposed herself in front of new colleagues like that?
Could she still be pining for this other guy and just doesn't want to let that go?
Did she just want to have a little fun and is blowing me off?
Maybe she's had other plans all weekend?
Maybe she doesn't want to rush anything?
Maybe I'm rushing things ahead in my mind?
Or there's the distinct possibility that I think entirely too much about this kind of stuff and should just take to heart the fact that no flat out rejection has been made.
FWIW, I do have a booty call that I've relied on in the past to get through rough spots, so it's not like I'm sex starved, and I'm comfortable being single, though a relationship wouldn't be a bad thing in my life right now and she fits my mold. I'm just confused and wonder what others will make of the situation.
Thanks