What is your morning routine?

[Saulbadguy]

In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

[Simplex3]

I'm not even going to say it.

[Phobia]

I believe the part about the puffy face and that is all.

[morphius]

Wow, no wonder I'm not pretty.

[phisherman]

i think you should change your name to saulbadgirl

[luv]

I never figured you to be the high maintenance type.

[jAZ]

Your forgot about your drive to work...

http://www.halfords.com/wcsstore/HalfordsConsumerDirect/images/catalog/400-234799.jpg

[JohninGpt]

Uh, sh!t, shower, shave and hit the road.

[Radar Chief]

Wow, and here I thought I was going all, like, metrosexual ‘cause I’ll scrape my face with a rusty blade then slap some rubbing alcohol on the spots that bleed.
Had no idea that wasn’t being pampered. :eek:

[Radar Chief]

Your forgot about your drive to work...

http://www.halfords.com/wcsstore/HalfordsConsumerDirect/images/catalog/400-234799.jpg

:LOL: With training wheels even. Good find. :thumb:

[JohninGpt]

Uh, sh!t, shower, shave and hit the road.
Oh yeah, I normally brush my teeth also, I hope that doesn't make me a sissy.

[Sure-Oz]

the 4 s's

sex w/ gf, shit, shower and shave

oh and brush my teefff

[phisherman]

i think he puts more s**t on his face in the morning than most women do

[ChiTown]

I masturbate, then it's off to work.......

[Fire Me Boy!]

In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
I'll bet you're a Huey Lewis fan. :D

Check your rep.

[JohninGpt]

I masturbate, then it's off to work.......
If I wrote your employee evaluations, I would call you "An energetic self-starter".

[Wilson]

I've seen the wedding pictures. Aren't you supposed to be good looking when you do all that crap?

[ChiTown]

If I wrote your employee evaluations, I would call you "An energetic self-starter".


Bravo!

ROFL

[Fire Me Boy!]

I'll bet you're a Huey Lewis fan. :D

Check your rep.
Or Phil Collins. Yeah, I'll bet you're a HUGE Phil Collins fan.

[Sure-Oz]

Or Phil Collins. Yeah, I'll bet you're a HUGE Phil Collins fan.
Who wouldn't be....he faxed his wife that he wants a divorce, ****in pimp ROFL

[88TG88]

I masturbate, then it's off to work.......
Dam stole my answer.

[teedubya]

This has to be a parody thread.

[Fire Me Boy!]

This has to be a parody thread.
Maybe it would help if I posted the beginning of this monologue:

I live in the American Gardens Building on W. 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine.

[eazyb81]

Nice post Marcus Halberstrom.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Also, look to clues in post numbers 15, 19, and 24.

[teedubya]

But here is a link to an article I wrote on how to be an early riser.

http://cultivategreatness.com/2007/06/17/5-great-ways-to-get-up-early-in-the-morning

[Easy 6]

1) Piss
2) Make coffee
3) Get paper while coffee brews
4) Fix a cup of coffee
5) Check out the Planet while having said coffee with a cigarette
6) Have another cup & cig while on Planet
7) Feel a mighty rumble, take the Browns to the Super Bowl
8) Back to the Planet
9) Read paper while wishing i didnt have to go to work
10) Take shower & go to work

[Fish]

Fight with alarm for at least 45 minutes.

Take morning shit.

Shower, brushing teeth in shower.

Feed cats.

Shave/deodorant.

Coffee.

Late to work.

[CanadianChief]

I masturbate, then it's off to work.......

I login to Chiefsplanet, masturbate, then it's off to work

[JohninGpt]

I login to Chiefsplanet, masturbate, then it's off to work
Ah, a "versatile multi-tasker".

[Rooster]

7) Feel a mighty rumble, take the Browns to the Super Bowl

ROFL ROFL

[Bill Lundberg]

the 4 s's

sex w/ hand, shit, shower and shave

oh and brush my teefff

Fixed your post.

[Reerun_KC]

In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.


Just have to say....

http://www.come2chaos.de/up_files/archiv/your%20still%20a%20homo.jpg

[blueballs]

tear my clothing
put ash on my face
fast

[gblowfish]

Uh, sh!t, shower, shave and hit the road.
This is classically known as the "Three S's".

[Sure-Oz]

Fixed your post.
i haven't had to do that in over 4 months now. :p

[QuikSsurfer]

Or Phil Collins. Yeah, I'll bet you're a HUGE Phil Collins fan.
Or a Whitney Houston fan :)

[QuikSsurfer]

Nice post Marcus Halberstrom.
that's not Marcus it's Paul Allen
i see they've omitted the pork loin w/lime jello

[007]

This thread is t3h gh3y

[L.A. Chieffan]

Or a Whitney Houston fan :)
You ACTUALLY own a Whitney Houston album? More than one??

['Hamas' Jenkins]

In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Sometimes I watch "The Patty Winters Show" or I'll rewatch "Inside Lydia's Ass" while thumbing through Zagat and calling up to see if I can get an 8:30 rez at Dorsia.

[L.A. Chieffan]

Sometimes I watch "The Patty Winters Show" or I'll rewatch "Inside Lydia's Ass" while thumbing through Zagat and calling up to see if I can get an 8:30 rez at Dorsia.
I watched a repeat of an old "Patty Winters Show" that I found on what I originally thought was a videotape of the torture and subsequent murders of two escort girls from last spring (the topic was Tips on How Your Pet Can Become a Movie Star).

['Hamas' Jenkins]

You ACTUALLY own a Whitney Houston album? More than one??
Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that?

It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

[L.A. Chieffan]

Did you know that Ted Bundy's first dog was a collie named Lassie?

[Hydrae]

Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that?

It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.


Wow, you typed all that with a straight face, I am impressed. ROFL

[TinyEvel]

wake up sporting a wicked boner.
turn on the light
start the coffee maker
flip the lever to get the hot water going
wipe the steam off the mirror
pee
then start using my hands to do stuff

[QuikSsurfer]

"you're a ****ing ugly bitch. i want to stab you to death and play around w/your blood"

"oh, it's cranberry juice.. cran-apple"

[QuikSsurfer]

"Nice overnight bag!" Lemme guess; Valentino?

"Jean Paul Gaultier."
"Where did u get that overnight bag?"

the valentino guess is for his suit - in the meeting room

[Simply Red]

"Where did u get that overnight bag?"

the valentino guess is for his suit - in the meeting room
Yes you are right. I was freestyling it.

[QuikSsurfer]

did u read the book?

[Simply Red]

No, I can't read books due to my ADD.<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_jeNln3rvck"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_jeNln3rvck" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>

[QuikSsurfer]

lol
that was creepy

[Simply Red]

lol
that was creepy
The whole movie is.

[QuikSsurfer]

never saw gummo
worth checking out?

[Simply Red]

never saw gummo
worth checking out?
oh yeah. From the writer of Kids. Harmony Korine. Play around on youtube with gummo and julian donkey boy.

[QuikSsurfer]

oh yeah. From the writer of Kids. Harmony Korine. Play around on youtube with gummo and julian donkey boy.
Writer of Kids huh?
Did you see Bully?

[Simply Red]

Writer of Kids huh?
Did you see Bully?
Yes. I liked it okay. Wasn't wild about it. Little immature of a plot. But yes it was pretty decent.

[Saulbadguy]

Brilliant.

[luv]

So, what is your nightly routine?

['Hamas' Jenkins]

I really want to blow Evelyn and her mother's heads off right now with an AK-47, even though I usually detest Soviet designs.

[Spott]

Wake up, take a shower, make breakfast for my son and get ready for work while he gets ready for school. I don't have time to put a bunch of girlie crap on my face.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

So, what is your nightly routine?

I jerk off, thinking about Evelyn, then Vanden, then Courtney, then back to Vanden, while looking up at my Les Mis poster.

[BucEyedPea]

s, s and s

then I go to work in my underwear until I have to go out.

[Simply Red]

s, s and s

then I go to work in my underwear until I have to go out.
luckyyyy!

[Saulbadguy]

I jerk off, thinking about Evelyn, then Vanden, then Courtney, then back to Vanden, while looking up at my Les Mis poster.
The book was so much better.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

The book was so much better.

I like both, but they are different animals.

[Mr. Kotter]

Shave

Shit

Shower

Dress

Grab an apple/bannana/muffin

15 minutes drive to school

Check Email/Chiefsplanet

Review lesson plans for the day

[BWillie]

I wake up at 9:22 AM. I wash my face, I comb my hair, get the lint of my eyes. Get in a quick early morning beat off on occasion. Make a meal replacement shake, get into my car at 9:30 AM, arrive at work in 10 AM. 8 minutes preparation boys, thats how it's done

[HemiEd]

Starts around 5 am.
turn on the gas to the tea pot,
take a piss,
pour cup of tea,
check planet,
take a shit,
put on the grubs,
go work in the garage for 2 hours,
prewash myself in mop sink,
drop trowsers,
brush teeth.
shave,
take a shower,
get dressed,
eat breakfast,
check out planet,
4 minute drive to work and it is about 8:10.

[BigMeatballDave]

I get up at 11. Mess around on the Planet for a couple hours. Eat lunch. Get ready for work.

[Fire Me Boy!]

Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply Whitney Houston had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that?

It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation, dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.
ROFL

Good job Hamas.

[QuikSsurfer]

I really want to blow Evelyn and her mother's heads off right now with an AK-47, even though I usually detest Soviet designs.
ROFL ROFL

love bret easton ellis
have you read "less than zero" or "the rules of attraction"

[tooge]

up at 6:30.
shower
let dog out
feed dog and cat
make tea
eat grape nuts and a banana
make lunch for work
leave by 7:15
work by 7:35
If I get up early, I may make the wife some grub, or beat off. Usually beat off.