Chiefs article from a dumb guy.

[Phobia]

There's probably errors. This one was not edited by anybody.

http://www.greenwooddispatch.com/sports_news.php

[Thig Lyfe]

Way better than Warpaint. Prolly. I haven't read it yet.

[HolmeZz]

I'd read the article, but I'm Kloster-phobic.

[siberian khatru]

Your premium content is way better.

[dtebbe]

I always wondered how "struggling writers" paid for groceries...

DT

[JazzzLovr]

"...Trent Green's former favorite receiver, Deltha O'Neal."

LMAO Brutal.

[siberian khatru]

I always wondered how "struggling writers" paid for groceries...

DT

They bag them and get the company discount.

[BigVE]

I would give you a compliment you but your massive melon head could not take it.

[chiefforlife]

Well done.

We gave a 4th rounder for Bennett, not a 5th.

[Extra Point]

Really good read. That objectively sums up things, quite well.

[Skip Towne]

There's probably errors. This one was not edited by anybody.

http://www.greenwooddispatch.com/sports_news.php
There are probably errors.

[unothadeal]

I just threw up in my mouth a little

[DaFace]

Good read. You should tell them to increase the font size up from 4-pt, though.

[J Diddy]

not too bad

I guess

[KC2004]

Phil i'm sure your article is good but i've skimmed it and found it to be the same old shit. To me it's KC Star material. Same old same old. Nothing against ya bro...its a decent article but just redundant.

[Skip Towne]

There's probably errors. This one was not edited by anybody.

http://www.greenwooddispatch.com/sports_news.php
There are probably errors.

[Simply Red]

There are probably errors.
and here he was giving me shit about a word I spelled correctly.

[ROYC75]

Damn, Greenwood,Mo ? :eek: Guess you really had to hit rock bottom ( WPI )before moving up ?

For the article ? Not bad ......... keep up the work.

[Deberg_1990]

Good read Phil. Its nice to have a shot of sanity instead over overblown soap opera.

[bringbackmarty]

Good job, much better than that pansy ass, prepubescent mongoloid over @WPI who's name we won't mention because he'll come pollute this sacred thread with his presence.

[Phobia]

Phil i'm sure your article is good but i've skimmed it and found it to be the same old shit. To me it's KC Star material. Same old same old. Nothing against ya bro...its a decent article but just redundant.

I do appreciate your feedback, I really do but I think you're mistaken.

My opinions are nothing like any of the writers from the star, FWIW. In fact, I strive to bring something fresh to each piece and I really think I achieved it with this one as well.

[Phobia]

Damn, Greenwood,Mo ? :eek: Guess you really had to hit rock bottom ( WPI )before moving up ?

For the article ? Not bad ......... keep up the work.

Well, WPI was a stepping stone. No doubt about that.

[Phobia]

Well done.

We gave a 4th rounder for Bennett, not a 5th.

Thanks. You're absolutely correct.

[HMc]

Phil i'm sure your article is good but i've skimmed it and found it to be the same old shit. To me it's KC Star material. Same old same old. Nothing against ya bro...its a decent article but just redundant.

I'm tipping the target audience is that minute subset of the earth's population that doesnt have Chiefsplanet wired directly into their cerebral cortex with a finger glued to the refresh button

[Phobia]

I always wondered how "struggling writers" paid for groceries...

DT

This pays for precious few groceries but it does pay for valuable advertising in a town near my shop so I'm happy to do it.

[Phobia]

Good read. You should tell them to increase the font size up from 4-pt, though.

Thanks. I'll do that.

[Phobia]

"...Trent Green's former favorite receiver, Deltha O'Neal."

LMAO Brutal.

I'm wondering how many of the readers of the print version will "get" that one. That game was actually the inspiration for "TrINT".

[go bo]

I'd read the article, but I'm Kloster-phobic.groan...

[go bo]

nice article, all in all...

everyone has their own writing style, you just need more experience and feedback to develop yours...

you may want to get some advice from misplaced chiefs fan, our only published author that i know of...

hamas, despite his persona on here is a college prof, and has pretty good writing skills, as does newfin or whatever he calls himsef now ( :p )...

mark m. is another one that writes for a living, i think...

there's probably a dozen other posters that have very strong writing backgrounds and would be happy to help...

i'm sure there are others who would be glad to offer you advice during this early part of your writing career...

i just gave you my advice...

[Phobia]

nice article, all in all...

everyone has their own writing style, you just need more experience and feedback to develop yours...

Thanks. I have a style. For some reason I've not yet let it all hang out for this publication yet but I'm getting there, I think. I should probably take the advice I've been given and let 'er rip.

[pr_capone]

Phil i'm sure your article is good but i've skimmed it and found it to be the same old shit. To me it's KC Star material. Same old same old. Nothing against ya bro...its a decent article but just redundant.

ROFL

Pot

Kettle

Black

[go bo]

Thanks. I have a style. For some reason I've not yet let it all hang out for this publication yet but I'm getting there, I think. I should probably take the advice I've been given and let 'er rip.that's the spirit... :thumb:

[Buehler445]

I think you did a nice job Phobia. It is important for everyone to understand that the people that read your articles don't know shit about the Chiefs, so you need to go over the basics.

Good read.

[Phobia]

I think you did a nice job Phobia. It is important for everyone to understand that the people that read your articles don't know shit about the Chiefs, so you need to go over the basics.

Good read.
Yeah, I keep it pretty basic most of the time. I also try to encourage my readers to make up their own minds about the Chiefs situation rather than being influenced by the mainstream media, which is why my writing persona is on the fence so often.

[sedated]

Yeah, I keep it pretty basic most of the time.

i know, i've talked to pink.

[J Diddy]

groan...

i bet you pray this bowe sticks around alot longer

[Thig Lyfe]

"...Trent Green's former favorite receiver, Deltha O'Neal."

LMAO Brutal.

im going 2 kill phil kloster. TG

[Demonpenz]

it's good but this team is like a 7-9 8-8 team there are going to be high high's and low low's same old shit.

[Valiant]

All in all a good article for the casual fan..

IMO on Priest he just wants to play to get his tenth year played in so he can get inssurance after this..

[Logical]

Phobia, are you going to be able to get the fence post out of your ass, after straddling the fence on so many issues?

[Phobia]

Phobia, are you going to be able to get the fence post out of your ass, after straddling the fence on so many issues?

I take a stand plenty on the board. I don't think it's my job to tell people how they should view their team. I give them what I know and let them make up their own minds about the issues.

[ExtremeChief]

Loved the Deltha line. I know you aren't concerned with errors, but I'll point them out anyway, especially since it's in the first sentence.

"The Jekyll and Hyde Chiefs showed up again against the Cincinnati Bengals again last Sunday. "

[Kerberos]

What, no critique from Goatcheeze?

[StcChief]

I always wondered how "struggling writers" paid for groceries...

DTsimilar to the starving artists running sales....

[FAX]

Good job, much better than that pansy ass, prepubescent mongoloid over @WPI who's name we won't mention because he'll come pollute this sacred thread with his presence.

No offense, Mr. bringbackmarty, but these racist, anti-Mongol attacks are getting old.

FAX

[Fire Me Boy!]

Phil... I attached your article with my comments.

Really, it's pretty good. There are some basic style things that need to be addressed. Generally, if you're writing for the web or for a newspaper you want to keep your paragraphs short, so you'll notice a TON of paragraph marks.

I also made some suggestions for rewording, but the way you have it is OK.

The only "mistake" I really caught was in the opening paragraph.

Good job, man!

:thumb:

[Fire Me Boy!]

That said, despite all the red, I really dig your articles. It's nice to see a writer who isn't 100 percent pro-Chiefs, 100 percent anti-Chiefs.

And I love the bits of sense of humor that are added in. Don't stop that, ever.

[Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan]

Phil,

Been busy working on some stuff for a UK publisher, but if you're still interested, I'll take a crack at it over the weekend. My real job is a tech writer/editor, but I do mostly remember when I was writing sports back in the 70s.

Remember two pieces of advice when it comes to looking for advice:

1) You're never as good as your best review or as bad as your worst review . . .

2) Take critique, see what's useful and toss out all the rest as BS. It's your name on the by-line, so make sure it's your work.