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View Full Version : Zimbabwe has officially gone down the toilet


ChiefaRoo
10-27-2007, 12:30 AM
Miracle’ fuel that made a mockery of Mugabe

Jan Raath in Harare

When Nomatter Tagarira, a spirit medium, claimed that she could conjure refined diesel out of a rock by striking it with her staff, ministers in Robert Mugabe’s Government believed that they might have found the solution to Zimbabwe’s perennial fuel shortage.

After witnessing her apparently miraculous gift they gave her five billion Zimbabwean dollars in cash (worth £1.7 million at the start of the year but now worth one seven-hundredth of that) in return for the fuel. Ms Tagarira was also given a farm, said to have been seized from its white owner during Mr Mugabe’s lawless land grab, as well as food and services that included a round-the-clock armed guard on the rock in the district of Chinhoyi 60 miles (100km) from Harare, the capital.

More than a year later officials realised they had been duped. Ms Tagarira is now in custody, awaiting trial on charges of fraud or, alternatively, of being “a criminal nuisance”. Details from court papers published this week said that over 15 months, until July this year, Ms Tagarira convinced Cabinet ministers, ruling party heavy-weights and top army and police officers that by striking the rock with her staff she could produce enough fuel to supply the country for 100 years.

“It’s an outlandish story but the people in government who believed this are the same ones who believe that Mugabe’s official policy of printing money will end inflation,” said an economist, who requested anonymity.

After 27 years of economic misrule, what was once one of Africa’s most prosperous countries is in a nightmare of hyperinflation, famine and infra-structural collapse.

According to the police docket at the court, Ms Tagarira, 35, discovered a large bowser of diesel last year, suspected to have been abandoned in the hills of Chinhoyi during the country’s civil war in the 1970s.

She laid pipes from the bowser to a point at the bottom of the hill. Whenever she assembled an audience, she would strike a rock and an assistant at the top of the hill would open the tap and lo, fuel would pour out. The bowser eventually ran dry but that didn’t stop Ms Tagarira. “They would buy diesel from lorry drivers and keep it in the pipe on the pretext it was coming from a rock,” the docket said.

By June the Government had decided the claims were plausible enough to warrant an official investigation. However, where a single geologist would have sufficed, they dispatched a large “task force” of politicians and members of the security forces, led by the deputy commissioner of police.

The task force duly reported to Mr Mugabe’s politburo, the most powerful body in the country, that the liquid appearing at the rock had been siphoned into lorries and that they had driven off without problem.

However, it was when a second “task force” of ministers was sent by the politburo a month later that Ms Tagarira’s ruse ended. She “failed to prove the existence of the fuel”, it said. She disappeared and was arrested this month. “It is not the woman who ought to be arrested, it is the idiots who authorised this criminal waste of public money,” said a lawyer, asking not to be named.

Rain Man
10-27-2007, 09:31 AM
Senator Byrd of West Virginia long ago proved that you can obtain an endless source of money just by tapping taxpayers.

Seriously, this is kind of pathetic. I think they should be learning the lesson that, when the government takes away the land and possessions of the people, the people stop making any attempt to acquire land and possessions. Then pretty much everything else stops. However, I don't think they're learning anything.

Direckshun
10-27-2007, 09:46 AM
Does anybody remember the good ol' days, when Zimbabwe was the bastion of brilliance and advancement, the likes of which every other country on earth aspired for?

StcChief
10-27-2007, 09:53 AM
It's a corrupt country like most in Africa. :shrug:

Eleazar
10-27-2007, 09:55 AM
Zimbabwe is going to be deluged with salesmen of blinker fluid and left-handed screwdrivers.

Eleazar
10-27-2007, 09:56 AM
And you also can't help but wonder why those guys in Nigeria don't just call Zimbabwe.

FAX
10-27-2007, 09:57 AM
I think Ms. Tagarira has been sending me emails asking for my help in getting her sister out of the country with her Swiss bank acounts intact.

FAX

Eleazar
10-27-2007, 10:01 AM
Under the leadership of current president Robert Mugabe the economy of Zimbabwe declined from one of the strongest in Africa to one of the weakest and political tension has never been higher. In 1999 the Movement for Democratic Change was established and have campaigned for an end to "Mugabe's Reign of Terror". 80% of Zimbabweans are unemployed and inflation has soared to well over 15,000%.

Gee, that's hard to believe.

Brock
10-27-2007, 10:02 AM
LOL @ stupid people

Rain Man
10-27-2007, 10:05 AM
Gee, that's hard to believe.

Sounds like someone needs to print some more money.

The quote from the economist in the original article made me chuckle. You know that there have to be some people in that country who are smart who just dread reading the newspaper every day.

beach tribe
10-27-2007, 10:31 AM
I have to wonder why the oldest civilizations are 1000 years behind the rest of the world.

beach tribe
10-27-2007, 10:33 AM
I have to wonder why the oldest civilizations are 1000 years behind the rest of the world.
Posted out of ignorance, not prejudice(?).

Rain Man
10-27-2007, 10:36 AM
I have to wonder why the oldest civilizations are 1000 years behind the rest of the world.

Maybe they're 1000 years ahead.

beach tribe
10-27-2007, 10:41 AM
Maybe they're 1000 years ahead.
Only progess would support that conclusion.

Nelson Muntz
10-27-2007, 11:51 AM
And you also can't help but wonder why those guys in Nigeria don't just call Zimbabwe.

That ain't no joke.

FAX
10-27-2007, 12:00 PM
Remind me never to accept payment in Zimbabwean dollars.

FAX

Rain Man
10-27-2007, 12:39 PM
Remind me never to accept payment in Zimbabwean dollars.

FAX


Yeah, but on the flip side, I just refinanced my home with the First National Bank of Zimbabwe.

FAX
10-27-2007, 12:47 PM
Yeah, but on the flip side, I just refinanced my home with the First National Bank of Zimbabwe.

Smart play, Mr. Rain Man.

You know, if I had a Zimbabwean dollar for every time someone refinanced, I could afford a Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino in 137 years.

FAX

Eleazar
10-27-2007, 01:37 PM
One cool side effect of this would be that I could probably go to Zimbabwe with 20 bucks or so, and ride in the back of a convertible throwing money out like the richest guy in the world. Maybe they would make me king.

alanm
10-27-2007, 01:42 PM
I have to wonder why the oldest civilizations are 1000 years behind the rest of the world.
Because the smarter people left those worlds behind.

Rain Man
10-27-2007, 01:56 PM
One cool side effect of this would be that I could probably go to Zimbabwe with 20 bucks or so, and ride in the back of a convertible throwing money out like the richest guy in the world. Maybe they would make me king.

Yeah, they really like having white rulers over there.

ChiefaRoo
10-30-2007, 07:39 PM
Zimbabwe is going to be deluged with salesmen of blinker fluid and left-handed screwdrivers.
LMAO