View Full Version : I need some ideas
wilas101
10-30-2007, 03:20 PM
I have a co-worker who is retiring after nearly 45 years here.
I figured at 30 days from his last I would start his month of hell and do something to him every day.
The catch here is it needs to be something that won't injure the dude.
My boss suggested hanging old pictures every day but that seems kind of womanish. I thought about gluing his mouse to his desk and crap like that but thats a one and done prank. I'd prefer something long term.
For instance when I was a kid we stole a little plaster swan out of a bird bath. 3 years later we took it back and stole the cherub that they'd replaced it with.
Given the often odd nature of this place I thought it might be a good source for ideas.
Zebedee DuBois
10-30-2007, 03:28 PM
Print out the procedure for withdrawing funds from his 401k in size 6 font.
wilas101
10-30-2007, 03:28 PM
Antifreeze?
lol I thought about it but he quit pissing on the floor a couple years ago.
Of course at his age it could start again anytime.
lol I thought about it but he quit pissing on the floor a couple years ago.
Of course at his age it could start again anytime.
Line his office chair with depends.
allen_kcCard
10-30-2007, 03:34 PM
Steal one thing from his desk every day, and replace the previously stolen item when the new one is taken.
Maybe even do it mutiple times a day, like when he goes to the can.
MTG#10
10-30-2007, 04:06 PM
Grow a tail in his chair.
Rain Man
10-30-2007, 04:45 PM
You should make the last 30 days "Live like (Gus or whoever) through the ages" month.
If he's been there for 45 years, on Day 1 you all dress like it's 1962, and all discussions are about Sputnik and Jim Brown.
On Day 2, dress like it's 1964, and you all act shocked about Kennedy being shot, and talk about Guess Who Came to Dinner and listen to the Beach Boys. Make sure the minorities are marginalized during discussion of the Civil Rights Act.
On Day 3, it's 1965, etc.
Skip Towne
10-30-2007, 05:16 PM
You should make the last 30 days "Live like (Gus or whoever) through the ages" month.
If he's been there for 45 years, on Day 1 you all dress like it's 1962, and all discussions are about Sputnik and Jim Brown.
On Day 2, dress like it's 1964, and you all act shocked about Kennedy being shot, and talk about Guess Who Came to Dinner and listen to the Beach Boys. Make sure the minorities are marginalized during discussion of the Civil Rights Act.
On Day 3, it's 1965, etc.
Sputnik was in 1957.
Bwana
10-30-2007, 06:14 PM
If he hits the company head on a regular basis, put some super glue on the handle of the door. When he tucks Mr love mussle and the twins back in his pants, he will be in for a long day. Oh, wait, you don't actually dispise this guy........nevermind.
Third Eye
10-30-2007, 06:25 PM
Steal one thing from his desk every day, and replace the previously stolen item when the new one is taken.
Maybe even do it mutiple times a day, like when he goes to the can.
Similar idea: since you said he works with a pc, pop one key of his keyboard everyday. Next day you replace the old key, put it in the place of the new key so they keyboard reads wrong.
Another variation: don't actually take the keys, just switch 2 keys everyday.
Mr. Flopnuts
10-30-2007, 06:28 PM
Make a fried egg sandwich the morning of his last month, take it to work, and tape it underneath his chair.
wilas101
10-31-2007, 07:08 AM
I like the keyboard idea but I'm afraid that would point directly back to me.
good idea though. :)
if he uses an Lazer Mouse you can just simply stick a small sticky note underneither it covering the lazer and it wont work, can work good on older folks.
You could always buy some of those fake winning lottery tickets and give them to him
trndobrd
10-31-2007, 08:23 AM
every day move his desk one inch closer to the wall
cookster50
10-31-2007, 08:41 AM
Make him look at pictures of GOAT boy all day long.
tyton75
10-31-2007, 09:15 AM
On his last day.. tell him you are going to take him out for a beer.. walk out to his car with him; laughing and joking about how he's an old fart... then when you get to his car, hit him over the head and shove that stapler that he stole from you 10 years ago, up his ass and shout: " I got you back you f@#king c@cksucker!!!"
No?!
sedated
10-31-2007, 09:25 AM
roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge!
Hog's Gone Fishin
10-31-2007, 09:48 AM
Dress up like a terrorist with a suicide belt and come running into his office screaming Allah is great, allah is great!!!!!
Hog's Gone Fishin
10-31-2007, 09:58 AM
Or get a box of blanks for your AK-47 and run in one morning and start shooting the place up.
Hog's Gone Fishin
10-31-2007, 10:00 AM
Or set a trampoline out side his window and push him out the 4th floor. Everytime he bounces back up shoot him in the face with a fire extinguisher.
MTG#10
10-31-2007, 10:32 AM
First buy a stun-gun, some rope, and some hand-cuffs. Follow him home from work on his last day, and sneak in through the back door. Use the stun gun on him, then handcuff him and tie his legs together when he falls to the floor. Drag him to his bedroom and prop him up in a chair. Murder his wife then drag her body into the bedroom and lay her on the bed. Stab her carcass repeatedly and rape her stab wounds while he watches. After you cum, point at him and say "Gotcha!!"
Rain Man
10-31-2007, 04:28 PM
Sputnik was in 1957.
Yeah, but nothing happened in 1962 so I figure they would still be talking about it.
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