Hammock Parties
11-05-2007, 06:28 PM
http://www.denverpost.com/broncos/ci_7371401
Broncos lucky to win 6 games
By Woody Paige
The Denver Post
DETROIT — With 7:34 left in the third quarter, seconds after the Broncos failed on fourth down at the Lions' 4-yard line - as usual in this season - coach Mike Shanahan was furiously (angrily and desperately) turning the pages of his Decline-and-Fall-of-the-Roman-Empire-sized playbook, searching for answers.
None was there.
He should have taken a Bunsen burner to the offensive playbook.
Two plays (for 46 and 49 yards) and less than a minute later, the Lions scored to go ahead 30-0.
Defensive coordinator Jim Bates - who looked bewildered and baffled - should have thrown his game plan in the incinerator.
With two minutes remaining in the game, Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, with no expression on his tanned face, stood in the tunnel leading to the field.
"It's not over," he said. I don't know if he meant the game or the season or life as we know it.
I asked him if this was the worst.
"I will reserve comment," the owner said calmly, but he, no doubt, was (Bunsen) burning on the inside. At least he didn't say the better team lost and the Broncos would beat the Lions nine out of 10 times.
After the game, in the same tunnel, safety Nick Ferguson said: "Don't come down so hard on us." I handed him my pen and paper and said: "OK, you write it." He declined.
Corner Dré Bly soon said in the locker room: "Some guys in here got to look in the mirror."
I walked over to the shower room and stared in. Indeed, some guys were staring in the mirror.
They were shaving.
Out on the field, Theo Spight, who wears a team jersey and a hard hat and sings the Lions' fight song after every score, was holding his throat.
"Hoarse?" I asked.
"No, I could sing all night long."
He almost did. He sang that stupid song eight times. Motown became Blowouttown.
Lions 44, Broncos 7.
I haven't seen anything this bad in Detroit since the Avalanche lost to the Red Wings 7-0 in the final game of the Western Conference finals in 2002.
I haven't seen the Broncos play this bad ... well ... you have to go all the way back, way back, to Oct. 7 of 2007 when they lost at home to San Diego 41-3.
Excuse me a moment while I check the New England-Indianapolis game. Those two teams are in a different league from the Broncos.
When the Broncos were 2-1 long ago and far away, a Very Important Person in Denver, who shall be anonymous out of fear (mine), said in front of other witnesses that the Broncos would finish 6-10. I told him he was crazy. He is crazy. I don't see how the Broncos can win six.
They have won but three and have five very losable games on the road and, of course, any game at home is no bargain.
This is the most underachieving, overblown Broncos team I've ever been around. And probably Shana- han, too.
"I've been embarrassed a couple times this year obviously, more times than any time in my career," the coach said.
How bad has it gotten? Quarterback Jay Cutler suffered a "contusion," the team announced (bruise, to me and you), in the second quarter and was replaced by Patrick Ramsey. If Ramsey, who was praised by Shanahan (for some unknown reason), had been hurt, he would have been replaced by Mike Leach, the long-snapper.
Can this get any worse?
Yes.
"We're only one game out," the coach and several players said after Kansas City and San Diego also were beaten. Nice division, huh?
The Broncos need to win 14 out of 15 to get into the playoffs. That never happens.
If the Broncos could just win one. If they could just play Nebraska.
What is wrong?
The Broncos have a lot of bad players who are dragging down the few good men (but don't even confuse these Broncos with the Marines).
How about those four turnovers (and 18 for the season)? How about the first-quarter ineptness - when Shanahan's script used to be an award winner. Now it's a script for "Waterworld." How about 83 missed tackles?
How about Bly, the ex-Lion? Detroit wide receiver Roy Williams last week called Bly a "no-hitter." Bly threw a two-hitter Sunday - and celebrated by swinging a bat at the Detroit bench after one. Look in the mirror, Dré.
Excuse me for a moment while I make a fervent plea: Come back, Jake. All is forgiven.
Cutler, Ramsey, Plummer, Leach - it doesn't matter when you have such a despicable defense - forgive me, Nick - and nonspecial teams, an impotent offense and so many injuries and so many Broncos who haven't read (or can't read) the playbook and don't understand the game plan and so many coaches who aren't on the same page or field with the players.
Is Shanahan about to fire the defensive staff and the special-teams coach again? Can't blame Larry Coyer for the 44 on Sunday.
"My mind-set has never been to play for next year," said The Master Mind-set.
Look in the mirror, Coach. Burn the playbook and the midnight oil, and turn the Broncos loose on offense - throw deep and often - and on defense - blitz early and often - and move D.J. Williams back outside; insert Domonique Foxworth as a starter over Bly, and go with four young defensive linemen (Tim Crowder, Elvis Dumervil, Marcus Thomas and Antwon Burton). On offense, forget Henry and play Selvin Young and Andre Hall; and go with three tight ends and two wide receivers on every play.
And sign Jeremy Bloom today.
Excuse me for caring, and excuse me while I go watch two real teams finish their game. The Broncos are merely illusory.
Broncos lucky to win 6 games
By Woody Paige
The Denver Post
DETROIT — With 7:34 left in the third quarter, seconds after the Broncos failed on fourth down at the Lions' 4-yard line - as usual in this season - coach Mike Shanahan was furiously (angrily and desperately) turning the pages of his Decline-and-Fall-of-the-Roman-Empire-sized playbook, searching for answers.
None was there.
He should have taken a Bunsen burner to the offensive playbook.
Two plays (for 46 and 49 yards) and less than a minute later, the Lions scored to go ahead 30-0.
Defensive coordinator Jim Bates - who looked bewildered and baffled - should have thrown his game plan in the incinerator.
With two minutes remaining in the game, Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, with no expression on his tanned face, stood in the tunnel leading to the field.
"It's not over," he said. I don't know if he meant the game or the season or life as we know it.
I asked him if this was the worst.
"I will reserve comment," the owner said calmly, but he, no doubt, was (Bunsen) burning on the inside. At least he didn't say the better team lost and the Broncos would beat the Lions nine out of 10 times.
After the game, in the same tunnel, safety Nick Ferguson said: "Don't come down so hard on us." I handed him my pen and paper and said: "OK, you write it." He declined.
Corner Dré Bly soon said in the locker room: "Some guys in here got to look in the mirror."
I walked over to the shower room and stared in. Indeed, some guys were staring in the mirror.
They were shaving.
Out on the field, Theo Spight, who wears a team jersey and a hard hat and sings the Lions' fight song after every score, was holding his throat.
"Hoarse?" I asked.
"No, I could sing all night long."
He almost did. He sang that stupid song eight times. Motown became Blowouttown.
Lions 44, Broncos 7.
I haven't seen anything this bad in Detroit since the Avalanche lost to the Red Wings 7-0 in the final game of the Western Conference finals in 2002.
I haven't seen the Broncos play this bad ... well ... you have to go all the way back, way back, to Oct. 7 of 2007 when they lost at home to San Diego 41-3.
Excuse me a moment while I check the New England-Indianapolis game. Those two teams are in a different league from the Broncos.
When the Broncos were 2-1 long ago and far away, a Very Important Person in Denver, who shall be anonymous out of fear (mine), said in front of other witnesses that the Broncos would finish 6-10. I told him he was crazy. He is crazy. I don't see how the Broncos can win six.
They have won but three and have five very losable games on the road and, of course, any game at home is no bargain.
This is the most underachieving, overblown Broncos team I've ever been around. And probably Shana- han, too.
"I've been embarrassed a couple times this year obviously, more times than any time in my career," the coach said.
How bad has it gotten? Quarterback Jay Cutler suffered a "contusion," the team announced (bruise, to me and you), in the second quarter and was replaced by Patrick Ramsey. If Ramsey, who was praised by Shanahan (for some unknown reason), had been hurt, he would have been replaced by Mike Leach, the long-snapper.
Can this get any worse?
Yes.
"We're only one game out," the coach and several players said after Kansas City and San Diego also were beaten. Nice division, huh?
The Broncos need to win 14 out of 15 to get into the playoffs. That never happens.
If the Broncos could just win one. If they could just play Nebraska.
What is wrong?
The Broncos have a lot of bad players who are dragging down the few good men (but don't even confuse these Broncos with the Marines).
How about those four turnovers (and 18 for the season)? How about the first-quarter ineptness - when Shanahan's script used to be an award winner. Now it's a script for "Waterworld." How about 83 missed tackles?
How about Bly, the ex-Lion? Detroit wide receiver Roy Williams last week called Bly a "no-hitter." Bly threw a two-hitter Sunday - and celebrated by swinging a bat at the Detroit bench after one. Look in the mirror, Dré.
Excuse me for a moment while I make a fervent plea: Come back, Jake. All is forgiven.
Cutler, Ramsey, Plummer, Leach - it doesn't matter when you have such a despicable defense - forgive me, Nick - and nonspecial teams, an impotent offense and so many injuries and so many Broncos who haven't read (or can't read) the playbook and don't understand the game plan and so many coaches who aren't on the same page or field with the players.
Is Shanahan about to fire the defensive staff and the special-teams coach again? Can't blame Larry Coyer for the 44 on Sunday.
"My mind-set has never been to play for next year," said The Master Mind-set.
Look in the mirror, Coach. Burn the playbook and the midnight oil, and turn the Broncos loose on offense - throw deep and often - and on defense - blitz early and often - and move D.J. Williams back outside; insert Domonique Foxworth as a starter over Bly, and go with four young defensive linemen (Tim Crowder, Elvis Dumervil, Marcus Thomas and Antwon Burton). On offense, forget Henry and play Selvin Young and Andre Hall; and go with three tight ends and two wide receivers on every play.
And sign Jeremy Bloom today.
Excuse me for caring, and excuse me while I go watch two real teams finish their game. The Broncos are merely illusory.