Direckshun
11-06-2007, 03:21 PM
Come one, come all. The competition for worst division in the NFL comes before all of you, like butt-ugly swimsuit models. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to choose the ugliest bitch.
Contestant #1: AFC East
The Patriots (9-0) might be the best team of all time, but I don't know if you could make that argument based off a 16-0 record. Their schedule has been fairly easy this year, in part because the rest of the division is so inept. The Bills (4-4) have miraculously figured out mediocre football this year, mainly off the back of Marshawn Lynch. The Jets (1-8) and Dolphins (0-8), meanwhile, race to the bottom of the league. These two teams are literally incapable of doing anything they set out to do at the start of the game.
Combined record: 14-20
Contestant #2: AFC West
The AFCW is the division we obviously know the most about. The Chiefs, the #1 team in the division is at an outstanding 4-4, having those four victories come against teams with a combined 11-21 record. The Chargers (4-4), one season removed from 14-2 and Marty Schottenheimer, allowed AP to set an NFL record and got stomped in the process. The Broncos (3-5) are in an absolute freefall, and the last-place Raiders (2-6) are pretty much themselves.
Combined record: 13-19
Contestant #3: NFC South
Out of sight and usually out of mind, the NFCS is routinely one of the least-discussed divisions in the NFL, but they routinely send teams deep into the playoffs. This year, there's a lot of underachieving going on here. The division leading Bucs (5-4) have beaten teams with a combined 17-23 record. The Panthers (4-4) have disappointed, featuring a revolving door at QB, even pulling 75-year-old Testaverde out of retirement for a couple wekes. Their defense has also underachieved. The Saints (4-4) have won four straight, mostly against teams faring worse than they are, and will be 5-4 after facing the Rams. The Falcons (2-6), whose problems have been well-documented, struggle.
Combined record: 15-18
Contestant #4: NFC West
A perennial candidate in these kinds of competitions, the NFCW was supposed to turn it around this year. The Seahawks (4-4) were supposed to be in the thick of the NFC playoff hunt, the Cardinals (3-5) and the 49ers (2-6) were supposed to be new and improved, and the Rams (0-8), well, they weren't supposed to be the Rams. Instead, the Seahawks have beaten teams with a combined 12-29 record, and Shawn Alexander's been a joke. The Cardinals ran for a grand total of 23 yards last week, and Matt Leinart's been out much of the year. The 49ers have failed in just about every category you'd expect them to excel at, and the Rams have historically sputtered.
Combined record: 11-23
Contestant #1: AFC East
The Patriots (9-0) might be the best team of all time, but I don't know if you could make that argument based off a 16-0 record. Their schedule has been fairly easy this year, in part because the rest of the division is so inept. The Bills (4-4) have miraculously figured out mediocre football this year, mainly off the back of Marshawn Lynch. The Jets (1-8) and Dolphins (0-8), meanwhile, race to the bottom of the league. These two teams are literally incapable of doing anything they set out to do at the start of the game.
Combined record: 14-20
Contestant #2: AFC West
The AFCW is the division we obviously know the most about. The Chiefs, the #1 team in the division is at an outstanding 4-4, having those four victories come against teams with a combined 11-21 record. The Chargers (4-4), one season removed from 14-2 and Marty Schottenheimer, allowed AP to set an NFL record and got stomped in the process. The Broncos (3-5) are in an absolute freefall, and the last-place Raiders (2-6) are pretty much themselves.
Combined record: 13-19
Contestant #3: NFC South
Out of sight and usually out of mind, the NFCS is routinely one of the least-discussed divisions in the NFL, but they routinely send teams deep into the playoffs. This year, there's a lot of underachieving going on here. The division leading Bucs (5-4) have beaten teams with a combined 17-23 record. The Panthers (4-4) have disappointed, featuring a revolving door at QB, even pulling 75-year-old Testaverde out of retirement for a couple wekes. Their defense has also underachieved. The Saints (4-4) have won four straight, mostly against teams faring worse than they are, and will be 5-4 after facing the Rams. The Falcons (2-6), whose problems have been well-documented, struggle.
Combined record: 15-18
Contestant #4: NFC West
A perennial candidate in these kinds of competitions, the NFCW was supposed to turn it around this year. The Seahawks (4-4) were supposed to be in the thick of the NFC playoff hunt, the Cardinals (3-5) and the 49ers (2-6) were supposed to be new and improved, and the Rams (0-8), well, they weren't supposed to be the Rams. Instead, the Seahawks have beaten teams with a combined 12-29 record, and Shawn Alexander's been a joke. The Cardinals ran for a grand total of 23 yards last week, and Matt Leinart's been out much of the year. The 49ers have failed in just about every category you'd expect them to excel at, and the Rams have historically sputtered.
Combined record: 11-23