Need the Planets opinion!

[stumppy]

Here's the background:

Just went grocery shopping. While unloading the cart at my car I noticed, under the little kiddie seat flap a womans wallet. What's the best way I should go about returning this walet. Keep in mind she's pretty cute on her DL picture. And from what I can tell shes single with one child.

Poll to follow. Give me a minute It's been awhile since i made on of these.

[Rain Man]

Steal her cash, and then offer to buy her dinner with it.

[kstater]

Call her up and say "Give me the kid and I'll give you the wallet".

[stumppy]

Steal her cash, and then offer to buy her dinner with it.


That wouldn't be too hard. The dumb broad left her letter from the bank with her PIN in it inside the wallet along with her debit card.

[DaKCMan AP]

Is she an organ donor?

[stumppy]

Call her up and say "Give me the kid and I'll give you the wallet".

Uh......I think you've got that backwards.

[stumppy]

Is she an organ donor?


Doesn't say so but I sure as hell am.:D

[StcChief]

That wouldn't be too hard. The dumb broad left her letter from the bank with her PIN in it inside the wallet along with her debit card. wow rocket scientist on your hands, cute, bright?

[Sure-Oz]

Where is the clean out her atm with the card and pin and drop the wallat in a trash can option :p

[Rain Man]

The poll is missing the "Call her, and then magnanimously offer to drive it over to her" option.

[Abba-Dabba]

Return it. I think you know that though.

It's human nature to have the thought of keeping the wallet or throwing it in the trash. Completely understandable if you feel like you don't want to be bothered by returning it. Human laziness and greed are traits in all of us.

A single parent has a hard enough time as it is. No reason to make it any harder.

['Hamas' Jenkins]

Look her up, call her, and drop it by at your or her earliest convenience.

[bdeg]

Agreed. Drive it over, or offer to meet her some place.

[Dinny Bossa Nova]

Bring her to The Side Door Lounge in Golden City on Friday night.

Blues band, and Bob Dole said the beer there tastes really cold.

Dinny

[stumppy]

Return it. I think you know that though.


A single parent has a hard enough time as it is. No reason to make it any harder.
Of course I'm going to return it. From the cards in it I'd say she's on state assitance too. Thinking about putting a $20.00 in it and just knocking on the door and telling her I found it then leave.


EDIT: There is no cash at all in it.

[ROYC75]

Do the right thing, return it to her. Women like honest men........

[philfree]

Call her and ask her how she wants to handle it. Don't show up unannounced that might scare her. Just lt her know it's in safe keeping and that you'll gladly return it to her in which ever fasho she prefers.

PhilFree:arrow:

[Donger]

Return it, of course. But, if it were me, I'd put a few pictures of monkeys in the wallet.

You'll give her a story to tell for the rest of her life.

[xbarretx]

my suggestion is not to post on here b/c shes probably a highly involved planet member thus shes watching your every move......BUSTED :p

[RJ]

This is the perfect opportunity to become a stalker. You're halfway there. You've already rummaged through her wallet enough to determine what she looks like, her marital status, that she has one child and that she's dumb as a brick. Now take the next logical step......drive to her house and peek through her window, preferably the bathrrom window. And if you see a man's car in her driveway make certain to slash his tires in a jealous rage. Then write a little love note before you sneak away.

Chicks dig that kind of thing. It shows you care.

[Skip Towne]

Return it then post her pic here and show her what a fun place this is.

[kepp]

Have her come by your house to pick it up and then answer the door wearing nothing but saran wrap.

[Chief Pote]

This place is full of funny people.

[RJ]

Have her come by your house to pick it up and then answer the door wearing nothing but saran wrap.




I would use Press & Seal but that's really just a personal preference. Some might suggest Cling Wrap but I find that brand to not hold as snugly as the others.

[stumppy]

HOLD EVERYTHING!!!


I just noticed the Height and Weight listed on the DL.

The height is a non factor 5' 6''. Just about right if you ask me. The weight however........LISTED at 140 lbs. We all know they lie about that. Especially on their DL. I'm thinking if she volunteered her weight at 140 then it has got to be at least 180 if not the dreaded 200.


This throughs a curve ball into the entire approach.

[xbarretx]

HOLD EVERYTHING!!!


I just noticed the Height and Weight listed on the DL.

The height is a non factor 5' 6''. Just about right if you ask me. The weight however........LISTED at 140 lbs. We all know they lie about that. Especially on their DL. I'm thinking if she volunteered her weight at 140 then it has got to be at least 180 if not the dreaded 200.


This throughs a curve ball into the entire approach.

LMAO,

dude if your going to return it do it. if not then dont. this type of approach reminds me of high school when i would sweat the minutia. while you take time deciding what to do shes probably going crazy trying to get all that stuff cancelled. thus when/if you do return it she will at first be thankfull but then wonder why you decided to bleed the clock.

if your shy about returning it just put it in an envelope at her house with a lock of your hair, naked photos, a dvd of everybody loves Raymond, and a pair of movie tickets :p

[stumppy]

LMAO,

dude if your going to return it do it. if not then dont. this type of approach reminds me of high school when i would sweat the minutia. while you take time deciding what to do shes probably going crazy trying to get all that stuff cancelled. thus when/if you do return it she will at first be thankfull but then wonder why you decided to bleed the clock.

if your shy about returning it just put it in an envelope at her house with a lock of your hair, naked photos, a dvd of everybody loves Raymond, and a pair of movie tickets :p


LMAO

I know. Just thought I would give the planet something to do besides be depressed over our Chiefs for awhile.
I was going to call her and see how she wanted to handle it but she hasn't got a phone listed. So, I'm headed that way now.

[Phobia]

HOLD EVERYTHING!!!


I just noticed the Height and Weight listed on the DL.

The height is a non factor 5' 6''. Just about right if you ask me. The weight however........LISTED at 140 lbs. We all know they lie about that. Especially on their DL. I'm thinking if she volunteered her weight at 140 then it has got to be at least 180 if not the dreaded 200.


This throughs a curve ball into the entire approach.
No worries. Meth can knock that out in about a month. That way you can take your time breaking the seal and she'll think it's because you respect her.

Whatever you do, make sure you sign her up for a ChiefsPlanet account ASAP.

[xbarretx]

LMAO

I know. Just thought I would give the planet something to do besides be depressed over our Chiefs for awhile.
I was going to call her and see how she wanted to handle it but she hasn't got a phone listed. So, I'm headed that way now.

good man :toast:

p.s. i was just giving you guff (id be over analyzing the situation as well so i cant hold it against you bro :thumb:)

[KurtCobain]

No worries. Meth can knock that out in about a month.


phobia's "lets do drugs to keep warm and lose wieght" approach is nice.

[Bowser]

HOLD EVERYTHING!!!


I just noticed the Height and Weight listed on the DL.

The height is a non factor 5' 6''. Just about right if you ask me. The weight however........LISTED at 140 lbs. We all know they lie about that. Especially on their DL. I'm thinking if she volunteered her weight at 140 then it has got to be at least 180 if not the dreaded 200.


This throughs a curve ball into the entire approach.

Considering this new info, it's a good bet she doesn't rub her teeth.

[Frazod]

Personally, I'd call her. Quickly, before she cancels everything (assuming she hasn't already).

As for the 5'6" 140, hell, maybe she told the truth. Personally I prefer a woman with some meat on her bones and an actual figure as opposed to one built like an 8 year old boy.

[Iowanian]

I vote "reverse Mugging".

Wait outside her house....when she goes to get into her car, Run up, knock her down and hand her the purse and run away.



You can call her, but she might not be comfortable meeting a stranger to pick it up. I'd have probably taken it into the store manager then.....so she wouldn't be concerned with your semen being the substance sticking to her photo ID.

[Frazod]

I vote "reverse Mugging".

Wait outside her house....when she goes to get into her car, Run up, knock her down and hand her the purse and run away.

LMAO

[HemiEd]

The poll is missing the "Call her, and then magnanimously offer to drive it over to her" option.
X

[Iowanian]

oh yeah....

After you get a date with her, and make sweet romance on your velvet circle bed.......be sure to bring her to the planet, show her this thread, and require that she make at least 100 posts after the break-up.

[KCJohnny]

Follow your conscience, not your opportunist scheme.

Call her and allow her to set the conditions for the return. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you want done to you?

[Phobia]

Follow your conscience, not your opportunist scheme.

Call her and allow her to set the conditions for the return. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you want done to you?

If I were her, I'd want anonymous butt sex with a stranger in exchange for the return of my items.

[Donger]

If I were her, I'd want anonymous butt sex with a stranger in exchange for the return of my items.

LMAO

[Eleazar]

Call her up, if she's comfortable meeting you someplace then do it, otherwise offer to come by and put it in her mailbox or something.

[Iowanian]

I'm sure she'll sleep Much, much better at night, knowing a strange man studied her information enough to know how much she weighs, where she lives, and google's her phone number.

"Yeth, hello, thith is thtumppy..."
"hi, who are you"
"Well, you theee, I aaam a ladieth man, and ma'am, I located your perthonal effects at the piggly wiggly and immediately notithed that you are a beautiful spethimen"
"so, Can I have my purse back?"
"Speaking of back, I athume that you have a nith derierre, and frankly, I'd like to do it in your butt. You may altho wish to be advised, that on the way over, I intend to use some of your money to purchase a couple of bottles of the Finest Boone's Farms Apple wine. As you know, intoxicated ladies, greatful for the return of their purse, like to do it, in the butt"

http://www.splicedonline.com/00reviews/ladiesman.jpg

[Psyko Tek]

If I were her, I'd want anonymous butt sex with a stranger in exchange for the return of my items.


if you ever lose anything...
anything

I don't ever want to hear about it

[mlyonsd]

Leave a note in the wallet introducing yourself and you phone number/email inviting her to call if she feels comfortable with it.

Then take it back to the store and let them do the rest.

Even if she isn't she might have a 200lb friend that would love to talk to you.

[88TG88]

Leave a note in the wallet introducing yourself and you phone number/email inviting her to call if she feels comfortable with it.

Then take it back to the store and let them do the rest.

Even if she isn't she might have a 200lb friend that would love to talk to you.
Nah, I'd go for the meet in person option. Do you think a woman is going to call a person whose number she found in her stolen wallet ?

[Skip Towne]

If I were her, I'd want anonymous butt sex with a stranger in exchange for the return of my items.
How long were you in prison?

[mlyonsd]

Nah, I'd go for the meet in person option. Do you think a woman is going to call a person whose number she found in her stolen wallet ?

If she thinks it's stolen I'd guess she'd show up with a taser so I wouldn't risk it.

[Lzen]

if you ever lose anything...
anything

I don't ever want to hear about it

A white truck?

[Bowser]

I declare this thread a success.

You're welcome, stumppy.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

You should put a condom with your phone number in the purse.

[chasedude]

One word "Karma" that's all I have to say.

[Iowanian]

Karama? Stumppy already drilled the devil in his ass.

Look here to see how stumppy, the ruthless bastard that he is, Sold all of this poor ladies possessions

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=141824&page=1

[acesn8s]

Use her CC to make a donation to ChiefsPlanet before returning it to her.;)

[ClevelandBronco]

Call and have her meet you at the store so you can hand her the wallet. She should be wary of having you come to her house and she'd be crazy to come to yours.

[PastorMikH]

I think you should contact her through the info in her wallet. Let her know where you found it and ask her how she would like it returned to her.


If there is any spark at all, you MUST tell her about the Planet and have her start posting here regularly!!!

[chasedude]

Karama? Stumppy already drilled the devil in his ass.

Look here to see how stumppy, the ruthless bastard that he is, Sold all of this poor ladies possessions

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=141824&page=1

Never saw that thread, Stumppy for shame...

[38yrsfan]

Hopefully you will return it, sounds like she does really need the help and at least the knowledge that some wacko didn't find it (I am making a big leap of judgement there :)).

I'd let the authorities handle it; police, etc. to avoid entanglements, unless things are bit slow right now for you and the "entanglements" could be a diversion.

When I worked at Parkland Hospital in Dallas I found over $300 in cash in the restroom off the waiting area for the main pharmacy. Nobody was in there and I didn't see anybody leave but I had an idea whose it was shortly after that by the frantic activites of this disabled guy. I had turned into the hospital police department and told him to claim it there.

[stumppy]

Never saw that thread, Stumppy for shame...


OK, I didn 't bother checking out which thread that is but I figure it's the one about crazy....ahem... I mean bucsgirls things. She left a bunch of junk at my house, in no way at all did I feel oblidged to drag it around with me when I moved or spend the hundreds of dollars it would have cost to ship it to her.
As far as this chick goes. I did try to get her # to call and let her know I found her wallet. No phone number to be found. The only thing in the wallet with any type of info to get in touch with her besides her addy was an appt. card for a Dr.'s office. I called them and let them know the deal. The chick at the Dr's office called her # and left a message with my #. Called the store and they haven't heard from anybody about a lost wallet. I even went to the post office to get directions to this chicks house (it is an address on a farm road). Drove up the friggin goat trail to her house. Nobody home except Cujo and his pissed off brother. So, needless to say, I couldn't get out and leave a note. I figure when she gets her messages from the Dr.'s office I'll be hearing from her.

[Frazod]

OK, I didn 't bother checking out which thread that is but I figure it's the one about crazy....ahem... I mean bucsgirls things. She left a bunch of junk at my house, in no way at all did I feel oblidged to drag it around with me when I moved or spend the hundreds of dollars it would have cost to ship it to her.
As far as this chick goes. I did try to get her # to call and let her know I found her wallet. No phone number to be found. The only thing in the wallet with any type of info to get in touch with her besides her addy was an appt. card for a Dr.'s office. I called them and let them know the deal. The chick at the Dr's office called her # and left a message with my #. Called the store and they haven't heard from anybody about a lost wallet. I even went to the post office to get directions to this chicks house (it is an address on a farm road). Drove up the friggin goat trail to her house. Nobody home except Cujo and his pissed off brother. So, needless to say, I couldn't get out and leave a note. I figure when she gets her messages from the Dr.'s office I'll be hearing from her.

Good man. :thumb:

[acesn8s]

OK, I didn 't bother checking out which thread that is but I figure it's the one about crazy....ahem... I mean bucsgirls things. She left a bunch of junk at my house, in no way at all did I feel oblidged to drag it around with me when I moved or spend the hundreds of dollars it would have cost to ship it to her.
As far as this chick goes. I did try to get her # to call and let her know I found her wallet. No phone number to be found. The only thing in the wallet with any type of info to get in touch with her besides her addy was an appt. card for a Dr.'s office. I called them and let them know the deal. The chick at the Dr's office called her # and left a message with my #. Called the store and they haven't heard from anybody about a lost wallet. I even went to the post office to get directions to this chicks house (it is an address on a farm road). Drove up the friggin goat trail to her house. Nobody home except Cujo and his pissed off brother. So, needless to say, I couldn't get out and leave a note. I figure when she gets her messages from the Dr.'s office I'll be hearing from her.now she is getting a phone call from her Dr. and hoping that they have finally found the father to her child is calling her lawyer to sue for back child support.

[stumppy]

now she is getting a phone call from her Dr. and hoping that they have finally found the father to her child is calling her lawyer to sue for back child support.


LMAO

Yea, next thing i Know is I'll be getting one of those DNA test things in thew mail.LMAO

[kstater]

Karama? Stumppy already drilled the devil in his ass.

Look here to see how stumppy, the ruthless bastard that he is, Sold all of this poor ladies possessions

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=141824&page=1


That is on heck of a thread. I personally recommend reading Phobia's post on the last page.

[Extra Point]

Based on Stumppy's track record for regressive courting, he did the right thing. Happy stalking, Stumppy!

[stumppy]

Originally Posted by Phobia
If Stumppy's record for laying women who are progressively more brain dead I'm sure his current girlfriend responds to his questions by blinking her eyes and goes by the name of Terri.

:LOL:LMAOLMAOLMAO
G-DAMN thats some funny chit right there.

[stumppy]

Finally.
Dr.'s office got ahold of her. Gonna meet her in about 20 min. at the local Convien. store.

[acesn8s]

Finally.
Dr.'s office got ahold of her. Gonna meet her in about 20 min. at the local Convien. store.condom aisle?

[RustShack]

Finders keepers.

[Fish]

I hope you at least had the humor to draw mustaches on all the pictures in her wallet....

[RJ]

Give her a link to this thread, I'm sure she'll see the humor.

[stumppy]

I hope you at least had the humor to draw mustaches on all the pictures in her wallet....


No, but I did take a picture of my junk and slid it in behind her DL.:D
















J/K of course.

[REDHOTGTO]

offer to meet in a public place and return it for a little puddy on your first date !!!

[Skip Towne]

So did you meet with her? Details?

[cdcox]

I declare this thread a success.

You're welcome, stumppy.

I'm holding out for the post-breakup meltdown on The Planet.

[Iowanian]

3rd time should be a charm.

I'm wondering what her username will start out as, what the planet will dub her during the meltdown, and how long she'll stay.

badgranny will hopefully pop into the middle of that thread like diarhea in white pants....

awesomeness looms.


How do we get Stumppy and III do a double date?

[stumppy]

Sorry to disappoint everyone but there'll be nothing coming out of this. It didn't really register until I seen her. She's young enough to be my daughter. Besides, I know all too well not to introduce anyone I'm seeing to the planet.
Isn't it about time someone else offers up some strange for us planet regulars ?

[Phobia]

Sorry to disappoint everyone but there'll be nothing coming out of this. It didn't really register until I seen her. She's young enough to be my daughter.
Don't you know a thing about restraints? I hope you made a copy of her housekey.

Besides, I know all too well not to introduce anyone I'm seeing to the planet.

You do? That must be new.

[Skip Towne]

Sorry to disappoint everyone but there'll be nothing coming out of this. It didn't really register until I seen her. She's young enough to be my daughter. Besides, I know all too well not to introduce anyone I'm seeing to the planet.
Isn't it about time someone else offers up some strange for us planet regulars ?
We really haven't needed anybody else. You've been doing a fine job.

[acesn8s]

Sorry to disappoint everyone but there'll be nothing coming out of this. It didn't really register until I seen her. She's young enough to be my daughter. Besides, I know all too well not to introduce anyone I'm seeing to the planet.
Isn't it about time someone else offers up some strange for us planet regulars ?So she turned ya down?

[Phobia]

So she turned ya down?
I'll bet she really had fantasies of servicing her knight in shining armor until she saw HIM.

[stumppy]

You do? That must be new.

Hey......I'll take full responsibility for the first one. But the second one, well, when you're living together it's kinda hard to keep a place like this a secret. So I'l lable that one as collateral damage.

[SPchief]

She's young enough to be my daughter.


So did you introduce her to Lil Stummpy?

[Bwana]

Heh, this thread is a kick. LMAO

[crazycoffey]

you're missing the best option;

"F0ck her. F0ck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it."

[a1na2]

Take it to the local police department. Tell them that you found it and that you feel that they need to call her in to claim it.

If you want to meet her leave them your contact information. Then she makes the first move. If you look like phobia don't leave a picture of yourself.

[Phobia]

If you look like phobia don't leave a picture of yourself.
No kidding. I have enough stalkers. Even the men stalk me. How you doin, sailor?

[a1na2]

No kidding. I have enough stalkers. Even the men stalk me. How you doin, sailor?

Totally enjoying retirement.

[Rain Man]

Follow your conscience, not your opportunist scheme.

Call her and allow her to set the conditions for the return. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you want done to you?


That only works if the woman is an incredible pervert.

[Rain Man]

Return it, of course. But, if it were me, I'd put a few pictures of monkeys in the wallet.

You'll give her a story to tell for the rest of her life.

Love it.

I'm also wondering if, with a little help from some chiefsplanet people, if you could photoshop and replace all of the family photos with similarly posed photos of monkeys.

[PastorMikH]

Besides, I know all too well not to introduce anyone I'm seeing to the planet.





Too bad you weren't always this smart.

;):)

[LiL stumppy]

Well, it's better than picking someone up from a bar. I can't complain.

[LiL stumppy]

Of course I'm going to return it. From the cards in it I'd say she's on state assitance too. Thinking about putting a $20.00 in it and just knocking on the door and telling her I found it then leave.


EDIT: There is no cash at all in it.


NO! Give me the $20

[stumppy]

Well, it's better than picking someone up from a bar. I can't complain.


Get back to the Romper Room forum. The lounge is for the grown ups to talk in. And don't backtalk me or you'll have to go to bed now.

[LiL stumppy]

Get back to the Romper Room forum. The lounge is for the grown ups to talk in. And don't backtalk me or you'll have to go to bed now.

That only worked back when you were bigger and stronger than me LMAO

[stumppy]

That only worked back when you were bigger and stronger than me LMAO


Don't let the gray hair and bad back and big belly and male pattern baldness and being out of shape fool you. You mess with the bull you'll get the horn boy.

[LiL stumppy]

Yea, and your horn is about the size of a baby carrot.

[PastorMikH]

That only worked back when you were bigger and stronger than me LMAO


Old age and treachery will win out over youth and vigor every time.

[Lonewolf Ed]

Call her, tell her you will return it to the store where you found it, and when you plan to do so, so she can come and get it at her convenience. Then she does not have to worry about if you are setting a trap for her or not.