"I felt like a hick" moments

[Braincase]

It's going to happen if you live in the midwest. Happened to me a few years ago, and I felt like a hick the moment it happened.

Ringleader was kind enough to offer up some tickets (OUTSTANDING TICKETS) to the Chiefs-Colts playoffs game, the infamous 'game without a punt'.

The night before, he had the lucky recipients over to a hotel room for a little get-together, and I had made an inquiry about what I ought to get the guy under the circumstances. One Planeteer that knows Ringleader suggested some good vodka and a couple of good cigars.

Lawrence is not known for it's upscale tobacconists or liquor stores, but I got what I could.

Now, I'm pretty good at getting my hands on decent stuff when I have good notice. I have friends in Canada that have snagged Cubans for me from time to time, and I know the difference between crap and better than crap.

The look on Ringleader's face pretty much said it all. He was polite, but I could tell I had just given him the equivalent of Siamese Vodka and Swisher Sweets.

And I felt like such a hick...

BTW, thanks again Ringleader. Those were the best seats I've ever had in a football game.

[pr_capone]

The other night my wife dragged me to a cowboy night club.

They had bull riding indoors.

nuff said

[Bump]

It's going to happen if you live in the midwest. Happened to me a few years ago, and I felt like a hick the moment it happened.

Ringleader was kind enough to offer up some tickets (OUTSTANDING TICKETS) to the Chiefs-Colts playoffs game, the infamous 'game without a punt'.

The night before, he had the lucky recipients over to a hotel room for a little get-together, and I had made an inquiry about what I ought to get the guy under the circumstances. One Planeteer that knows Ringleader suggested some good vodka and a couple of good cigars.

Lawrence is not known for it's upscale tobacconists or liquor stores, but I got what I could.

Now, I'm pretty good at getting my hands on decent stuff when I have good notice. I have friends in Canada that have snagged Cubans for me from time to time, and I know the difference between crap and better than crap.

The look on Ringleader's face pretty much said it all. He was polite, but I could tell I had just given him the equivalent of Siamese Vodka and Swisher Sweets.

And I felt like such a hick...

BTW, thanks again Ringleader. Those were the best seats I've ever had in a football game.

Grey Goose/Belvedere/Vox are just as good as any other Vodka and sold in every L-store in Lawrence. You just didn't know where to find the cigars, which is understandable. I'm no cigar expert, but you can get some pretty good ones at certain places there.

[BigVE]

I think for this board it would be easier if this thread was titled "when HAVEN'T you felt like a hick" moments. :)

[FAX]

I went to a restaurant with a Kansas guy one time who ordered Steak Tartare then sent it back so they could fry it up, or something.

FAX

[Adept Havelock]

Well, this was more a case of "hick by association":

I stopped at a deli for a sandwich with a friend.

I placed my order, then she stepped up to the counter and ordered a ham and cheese on rye.

It was a Kosher Deli.

[Stewie]

Was this guy royalty? A snob? Take the tickets and run. Calvin Trillin has a bet with anyone who can taste the difference between similar red and white wines served in a black glass. Connoisseurs should know the difference, but they can't when pressed. It reminds me of the Starbucks customer stupidity in the late 90s when they were serving "Kona" coffee. Turns out it was run of the mill Columbian. The coffee "connoisseurs" bought it for a long time. Just sayin'....

[FAX]

Speaking of wine. Did you guys notice the recent study (it was on the web place for a while last week) in which people taste-tested wine and overwhelmingly preferred the wine they were told cost $90.00 over the wine they were told cost $20.00? Even though it was the same wine.

FAX

[Megbert]

Last week there was a huge ass Slim Jim still in it's wrapper on the sidewalk near my work. I seriously considered eating it. Not so much because I like Slim Jims but because it was gonna go to waste if I didn't. WTF part of an animal do they come from anyways.

[Megbert]

Speaking of wine. Did you guys notice the recent study (it was on the web place for a while last week) in which people taste-tested wine and overwhelmingly preferred the wine they were told cost $90.00 over the wine they were told cost $20.00? Even though it was the same wine.

FAX
Yeah I read or heard about this study.
Kinda figured this was the case.
I worked with a girl that swore she could tell the difference between store brand and their national counterparts. "Store brands taste cheap" While I'll agree some do but the 'Private Selection' or 'premium' store brands are pretty damned good usually.

[siberian khatru]

So that's why Ringleader doesn't post here anymore.

Makes me wonder what Braincase did to piss off Mr. Blond.

[Pablo]

Last week there was a huge ass Slim Jim still in it's wrapper on the sidewalk near my work. I seriously considered eating it. Not so much because I like Slim Jims but because it was gonna go to waste if I didn't. WTF part of an animal do they come from anyways.They come from the animal that is without actual flesh, and that flesh is substituted for orange grease. And that's pretty damn bad.

[bogey]

When I first moved to CA I was very concerned about hick moments. I then realized a little hickness works to my advantage.

[Mi_chief_fan]

Last week there was a huge ass Slim Jim still in it's wrapper on the sidewalk near my work. I seriously considered eating it. Not so much because I like Slim Jims but because it was gonna go to waste if I didn't. WTF part of an animal do they come from anyways.
LMAO

That's the funniest thing i've read in a log time.

[keg in kc]

I remember that.

You were bald and had a giant head. And that was one of my rare appearances.

I was born in West Virginia. My entire life has been an effort to remove all vestige of hick from my person.

[Pablo]

I went with my friend Dave to the Walmart in Warrensburg. He had a couple of items he was going to return to get some cash for better beer.

A 30 pack of Milwaukee's Best Light and a couple quarts of motor oil.

WalMart + Beast + Motor oil = Miller Lite = Hick.

[Bugeater]

I've learned to embrace my inner hick, I heat my house with firewood I cut and split myself, and I've killed my own food before. I think I'd be much better off if I lived back in the days of the Wild West. Or at least somewhere in the country, city life sucks.

[Joie]

I felt like a hick when I first moved to Kansas City. It was the first time I'd ever lived in a town with a McDonald's! I was so excited.

[cdcox]

When my sister-in-law pointed out to my wife and I that they are fajitas, not "frajitas".

Pronunciation has never been my strong suit.

[DaneMcCloud]

Yeah I read or heard about this study.
Kinda figured this was the case.
I worked with a girl that swore she could tell the difference between store brand and their national counterparts. "Store brands taste cheap" While I'll agree some do but the 'Private Selection' or 'premium' store brands are pretty damned good usually.

My parent were just in LA to celebrate their 60th and 65th birthdays, respectively. While they were here (for 8 days), they hooked up with a grade school friend of my Dad's that he recently reconnected with last year. They live up in Malibu, so my Mom thought that it was imperative that they bring wine to their home. More importantly, Coppola brand wine because it was "high end and fun".

Anyway, they went up for the weekend, ate, drank and had a great time. I asked my Mom about the wine and she said "Eh. It was okay". The couple they met with were wine people and they tried to impress them but I guess it didn't work. A $14 bottle of wine doesn't impress "wine people", I guess (FTR, I hate wine. Beer, whiskey or Vodka for me).

For their birthday celebrations, I took them to Fogo De Chao, an absolutely excellent restaurant on Restaurant Row in Beverly Hills. It's a Brazilian style Churrascaria that serves 12 different types of high-end meat, along with a salad bar, sides, etc. (I think that several Chiefsplanet members have been to Fogo - it's excellent). My Mom ordered the "House Wine" to go with her meal. She thought it was AWESOME. Excellent. Very, very good (especially with her meal).

When the bill came, I naturally checked it for inaccuracies (I always check, whether it's a fast food restaurant or sit down restaurant). I noticed on the bill a charge for $11 for a glass of wine.

Next to the charge, it said "Coppola".

[RJ]

Last week there was a huge ass Slim Jim still in it's wrapper on the sidewalk near my work. I seriously considered eating it. Not so much because I like Slim Jims but because it was gonna go to waste if I didn't. WTF part of an animal do they come from anyways.



I can't stop laughing at that.

Nothing worse than a Slim Jim going to waste.

[pr_capone]

Ok... you guys don't seem to be comprehending this.

A bull riding ring INSIDE a dance club!

here...

First... they set the ring on fire. Apparently drawing a big V with paint thinner, then setting it on fire is a cowboy tradition when doing a rodeo inside a dance club.

http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/8603/photo012008001zq0.jpg

Then, the lights come back on but the fire is still burning.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/9505/photo012008003dz8.jpg

After that is when the fun starts.

http://img150.imageshack.us/img150/7367/photo012008004ya2.jpg

And when it is all said and done... the bull runs right at me.

http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/5229/photo012008006tm5.jpg

And a night at a dance club / rodeo is never complete unless you have the ring announcer wearing skin tight Wranglers and an all white (or flannel) long sleeve shirt.

http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/8382/photo012008007dv9.jpg

[blueballs]

Had a low front tire today
no need to drop by the gas station
I carry a bubble in the trunk

[jspchief]

Every time my mother says Tommy "Hilfinger"

[Bwana]

Every time I have ever walked through the doors of a Walmart.

[tooge]

Very few moments in my life are not hick moments. My wife tries to dress me up and all, but I am all hick at heart. Kill it, grill it, fish for it, hunt it, cut it, burn it, smoke it, drink it, swim in it, nail it. That has pretty much been my life.

[kindra68]

Last time I had a hick moment?
About two seconds ago when I realized I didn’t have a problem with a bull ring in a club and again when I tried to remember the last time I was in a club with a ring in it.

[RJ]

When my sons were teenagers they had a buddy who had moved from West Virginia and the boy was a bit backwards. Nice kid, just really dumb.

One day him and my two boys had bought a bag of fortune cookies at a Chinese grocery near the house. They were all three eating the cookies and my sons were reading out loud the fortunes from their own cookies while they walked home. After a couple of blocks of walking and eating the boy from West Virginia asked, "Hey, where do you guys keep finding those little pieces of paper?".

I imagine that boy went on to have many, many more hick moments.

[gblowfish]

Well, this was more a case of "hick by association":

I stopped at a deli for a sandwich with a friend.

I placed my order, then she stepped up to the counter and ordered a ham and cheese on rye.

It was a Kosher Deli.

Comedian Kevin Pollack was doing a thing a few years ago about Burger King Breakfast menu offering Bagels. He's Jewish, so he said, cool, I'll go have breakfast at Burger King and have a nice Bagel. He rolls up to the drive in, orders a Bagel, and the kid asks "You want Ham, Bacon or Sausage on that Bagel?" Pollack said "Fellahs, c'mon...You'd think they'd have at least one Jew on the board of directors at BK!"

[Nzoner]

Every time I have ever walked through the doors of a Walmart.

Without a doubt.

[StcChief]

Every time I have ever walked through the doors of a Walmart.

but with the cast of characters there.... I always feel at home. Biting my tongue to not laugh.

[Nzoner]

I never had many stories on this topic until the mrs became a NASCAR fan STFU

[Megbert]

When my mom refers to the couch as a 'divan'. Don't fancy up a couch by calling it something else. She pronounces it "DeeVan"

[Braincase]

When my mom refers to the couch as a 'divan'. Don't fancy up a couch by calling it something else. She pronounces it "DeeVan"

Does she order her salads with Eye-talian dressing?

[StcChief]

I never had many stories on this topic until the mrs became a NASCAR fan STFU

I considered that one.... but shyed away. NASCAR goes hand and hand with rednecks.

[Chiefnj2]

Walmart is a great form of self-therapy and self-help. You are bound to feel better after you see dozens of people much worse off than yourself - age 16 with three kids and another on the way, someone with not one, but two tattoos on their arm that are both misspelled, people so obese they are wearing multiple pairs of socks instead of shoes because there are no shoes to fit them, people who apparently still live in a neighborhood without running water, or mirrors.

[Spicy McHaggis]

I spent a couple of my summers when I was about 12-14 working at my friend's ranch. Learned to drive an old 3 gear Willy's, move various bags of feed/bales over and over it seemed, learned that animals are like people (some are alright but a lot are just assholes), and to enjoy spending the evenings fishing while drinking some Coors Original that my buddy snuck out of the garage fridge. The generator went off around 9 so you just had to be back about then. I think it really helped me embrace the inner hick that resides in us all. Except Tom Cruise.

[Lzen]

The other night my wife dragged me to a cowboy night club.

They had bull riding indoors.

nuff said

ROFL Been there, done that.

[seclark]

my uncle is a wine snob...we spent the night at his house a few years back and he and i were sitting downstairs watching tv. he was having his nightly glass of wine and telling me of all the wines he has from all over the world.
i finished of my miller lite and he said, "there's a bottle of chteau blahblah on the bar over there if you'd like a glass."
i say "sure", and mosey over to the bar and grab a frosty beer mug out of the freezer, pull the cork out of the wine and start pouring. i got the mug about 3/4 full and he starts hollering, "hey!!! that's $400 a bottle!!!"

i didn't want to hurt his feelings, but i've drank $7 wine that's tasted better

the next morning, i dropped a steamer that'd take the paint off the walls and blew up his shitter. i did run to the store and pay for a plunger w/my own funds.
sec

[siberian khatru]

Does she order her salads with Eye-talian dressing?

Or visit Ioway or Illinoise? How about Ha-weye-ah? Drive a Tye-ahta? Vote for President Boosh?

My in-laws. :shake:

[picasso]

My nephew and I came back from the river with a huge snapping turtle in a box one day.
We were all standing in the kitchen of his mobile home when my brother noticed the box with the turtle inside and lifted the snapper up by the tail to take a better look. He said boy that's a big one as we were getting in the fridge for something to drink when we heard a snap and the turtle fell on the floor.
My brother turned around and he had a perfect V taken out of the middle of his upper lip. He was in shock with a cigerette hanging out one side of his mouth which still retained two tuffs of hair from his mustache on each side. I looked down at the turtle as in slow motion and sticking out of the turtles mouth was the rest of my brothers mustache as it looked right back at me and then started to slowly crawl away choking down the bloody fleshed hair ball.
I looked up at my brother, I relized he had a butcher knife he grabbed off the table and dove on the turtle like it was a live grenade chopping it up in his own living room getting turtle blood and guts on everything. I rushed him to the hospital aferwards. His wife had called the hospital in advance so when we showed up to the hospital nurses greeted us at the emergency door laughing their asses off as well as the doctor the whole time during the surgery.
Good times!

[RJ]

My nephew and I came back from the river with a huge snapping turtle in a box one day.
We were all standing in the kitchen of his mobile home when my brother noticed the box with the turtle inside and lifted the snapper up by the tail to take a better look. He said boy that's a big one as we were getting in the fridge for something to drink when we heard a snap and the turtle fell on the floor.
My brother turned around and he had a perfect V taken out of the middle of his upper lip. He was in shock with a cigerette hanging out one side of his mouth which still retained two tuffs of hair from his mustache on each side. I looked down at the turtle as in slow motion and sticking out of the turtles mouth was the rest of my brothers mustache as it looked right back at me and then started to slowly crawl away choking down the bloody fleshed hair ball.
I looked up at my brother, I relized he had a butcher knife he grabbed off the table and dove on the turtle like it was a live grenade chopping it up in his own living room getting turtle blood and guts on everything. I rushed him to the hospital aferwards. His wife had called the hospital in advance so when we showed up to the hospital nurses greeted us at the emergency door laughing their asses off as well as the doctor the whole time during the surgery.



Good times!






Ok, you win. That's the greatest hick story of all time. Every element is accurate. You have a snapping turtle, a mobile home, a dumb brother with a mustache who smokes, an injury, a knife and a trip to the emergency room. The best part is that he still had the cigarette dangling from his injured lip, that's a great visual.

Are you sure that wasn't something you saw in a movie and you just think it happened for real?

[Bwana]

My nephew and I came back from the river with a huge snapping turtle in a box one day.
We were all standing in the kitchen of his mobile home when my brother noticed the box with the turtle inside and lifted the snapper up by the tail to take a better look. He said boy that's a big one as we were getting in the fridge for something to drink when we heard a snap and the turtle fell on the floor.
My brother turned around and he had a perfect V taken out of the middle of his upper lip. He was in shock with a cigerette hanging out one side of his mouth which still retained two tuffs of hair from his mustache on each side. I looked down at the turtle as in slow motion and sticking out of the turtles mouth was the rest of my brothers mustache as it looked right back at me and then started to slowly crawl away choking down the bloody fleshed hair ball.
I looked up at my brother, I relized he had a butcher knife he grabbed off the table and dove on the turtle like it was a live grenade chopping it up in his own living room getting turtle blood and guts on everything. I rushed him to the hospital aferwards. His wife had called the hospital in advance so when we showed up to the hospital nurses greeted us at the emergency door laughing their asses off as well as the doctor the whole time during the surgery.
Good times!

LMAO

You win

[Rain Man]

WTF is wrong with you people? 42 posts and I have to post this story?

I was playing football one time, and I was on the line. They called a play, and I thought it was a running play, so I crashed inside all excited that I was going to nail the ball carrier for a loss.

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the quarterback pivot and sprint outside on a bootleg, and there was no way in the world I was going to catch him.

Boy, did I feel like a Hicks.

[Fish]

I come from a town that has zero traffic lights. Most of the side streets have no traffic signs at all. Common courtesy as to who has right of way most of the time. We have a barrel that sits in the middle of main street that people put posterboards on for upcoming events. Used to be 1 bar in town, and it didn't have a name, just a Budweiser sign. Gettin fancy these days, and have 2 bars. One is named Critters. The yearly town festival is known as the Threshing Bee, and consists of a tractor parade, antique engine show, and a kiddie tractor pull... Graduated with 28 people, and had the largest graduating class in ages.

Ohh... and we would "catch" snapping turtles out of creeks. We'd clean em out in a horse tank and have a large turtle fry.... good stuff....


It aint a moment.... it's a lifestyle....

[Rain Man]

When I got out of college, only my sister and I had ever graduated, and I was the only one who had an office job. I knew I had to wear a tie, but I had no idea how to tie one.

So...I would experiment with ways to tie them, and if I got a good knot, at the end of the day I wouldn't untie it. I would slip it over my head and hang it, still tied, in my closet.

After about six months, I had several ties, and a coworker came over. For some reason I had to get something out of my closet and he saw them all pre-tied in the closet and had a good laugh at my expense.

[pr_capone]

Did you ever learn to make a proper knot?

[Skip Towne]

Anybody know where the thread is with all the redneck vehicles?

[siberian khatru]

My nephew and I came back from the river with a huge snapping turtle in a box one day.
We were all standing in the kitchen of his mobile home when my brother noticed the box with the turtle inside and lifted the snapper up by the tail to take a better look. He said boy that's a big one as we were getting in the fridge for something to drink when we heard a snap and the turtle fell on the floor.
My brother turned around and he had a perfect V taken out of the middle of his upper lip. He was in shock with a cigerette hanging out one side of his mouth which still retained two tuffs of hair from his mustache on each side. I looked down at the turtle as in slow motion and sticking out of the turtles mouth was the rest of my brothers mustache as it looked right back at me and then started to slowly crawl away choking down the bloody fleshed hair ball.
I looked up at my brother, I relized he had a butcher knife he grabbed off the table and dove on the turtle like it was a live grenade chopping it up in his own living room getting turtle blood and guts on everything. I rushed him to the hospital aferwards. His wife had called the hospital in advance so when we showed up to the hospital nurses greeted us at the emergency door laughing their asses off as well as the doctor the whole time during the surgery.
Good times!

That sounds like an episode of "My Name Is Earl."

[RJ]

That sounds like an episode of "My Name Is Earl."



Or a scene from a Coen Brothers movie.

[Pablo]

Or visit Ioway or Illinoise? How about Ha-weye-ah? Drive a Tye-ahta? Vote for President Boosh?

My in-laws. :shake:My grandmother's been to Ha-weye-ah twice now. She just loves it, can't pronounce the name of any of the places she's been, but it's great.

Also, she calls chalupas from Taco Bell, shalupas. Drives me crazy.

[Rain Man]

Did you ever learn to make a proper knot?

I'm not sure, but my method works, so I'm going with it.

[pr_capone]

I'm not sure, but my method works, so I'm going with it.

Nice.... if you had not, now THAT would have been a hick moment. :D :D :D

[kaplin42]

Ohh... and we would "catch" snapping turtles out of creeks. We'd clean em out in a horse tank and have a large turtle fry.... good stuff....


It aint a moment.... it's a lifestyle....


I've always wondered what Turtle tastes like. I picture thin strips of white meat in cream soup. But a turtle fry sounds interesting too.

[nychief]

I thought this was a thread about when you feel like Nick Athan from WPI...meaning I pretend to be a journalist and screw up stories about the chiefs.

[pr_capone]

I've always wondered what Turtle tastes like. I picture thin strips of white meat in cream soup. But a turtle fry sounds interesting too.

I've had turtle.... to me, it tasted like chewy chicken.

[Mosbonian]

I come from a town that has zero traffic lights. Most of the side streets have no traffic signs at all. Common courtesy as to who has right of way most of the time. We have a barrel that sits in the middle of main street that people put posterboards on for upcoming events. Used to be 1 bar in town, and it didn't have a name, just a Budweiser sign. Gettin fancy these days, and have 2 bars. One is named Critters. The yearly town festival is known as the Threshing Bee, and consists of a tractor parade, antique engine show, and a kiddie tractor pull... Graduated with 28 people, and had the largest graduating class in ages.

Ohh... and we would "catch" snapping turtles out of creeks. We'd clean em out in a horse tank and have a large turtle fry.... good stuff....


It aint a moment.... it's a lifestyle....

You ain't got nuthin' on me.....

I grew up in the small metropolis of Mosby....289 people....went to a 4 room school built of stone from 1st to 8th grade. I graduated from 8th grade (back when they still did that stuff) with 14 people, and only 4 of us finished High School. Like you the town had no Stop signs because there was no money in the town budget. We had a 1 room Post office that all the gray-hairs gathered at to gossip and talk about the Soaps. There was Bill Dew's Bait and Tackle Shop that doubled as a grocery store, and George Cox's Garage complete with 2 gas pumps, Regular and Ethyl. George fixed one car at a time because there was no room for more than 1 car in his garage. There was a Baptist Church which was the gathering place for all Social Events....the Town Marshall and Fire Chief were both volunteers and were only reimbursed gas money for their efforts.

My home town's claim to fame? The only place to flood when it rained for more than a day....or if 4 or more people flushed their toilets at the same time. (Those were the only 4 families with indoor plumbing) If not for the building of Smithville Lake and the dam there, Mosby probably would have been flushed into the Missouri River long ago.

Sorry...but the stench of being a hick is like working in a fish factory. No matter how much you shower you can still smell a hick a mile away.

mmaddog
*******

[Joie]

I've had turtle.... to me, it tasted like chewy chicken.
When my Grandpa was little, his family would sometimes serve turtle for dinner. One night when they served it, they told him it was chicken so that he would eat it. The memory of that lie stayed with him for decades.

[Joie]

This isn't my hick moment, it's my brother's:

When we were little he caught a frog and entered the annual frog jumping contest at the town festival. When we discovered he was a finalist, my uncle had to run down to the river and get another frog because he'd already killed the original for frog legs. My brother ended up winning.

[Bugeater]

This isn't my hick moment, it's my brother's:

When we were little he caught a frog and entered the annual frog jumping contest at the town festival. When we discovered he was a finalist, my uncle had to run down to the river and get another frog because he'd already killed the original for frog legs. My brother ended up winning.
Frog jumpin' contest? Sheesh, I thought us Nebraskans were hicks.:shake:

[Joie]

Frog jumpin' contest? Sheesh, I thought us Nebraskans were hicks.:shake:
Where'd ya think we got the idea?

[Fish]

I've always wondered what Turtle tastes like. I picture thin strips of white meat in cream soup. But a turtle fry sounds interesting too.

It's pretty good. We batter it and deep fat fry it. It has a slightly chewy texture compared to chicken.

My uncle actually made this bench specifically for cleaning snappers. You would lay the turtle on it's back on the small platform, and there were small hooks that you would hook to each corner of the shell and tighten down. The pressure pulled the top shell flat, so you could take a pairing knife and clean it fairly quickly.

The real fun was catching them. We would wade through creeks, feeling around under log jams and brush in the water. It sounds crazy, and it's scary as hell the first few times, but while a turtle is underwater, you can run your hands over them and they won't bite at all. They'll actually move their head out of the way of your hands. When you get a grip and try to pull them out of the mud however, they will fight like you wouldn't believe. You grab the shell right behind the head, and right at the butt, and try to hold on. We would put a few dozen turtles in a big stock tank under a crabapple tree till it was time for a fry.

Good times....

[El Jefe]

It's pretty good. We batter it and deep fat fry it. It has a slightly chewy texture compared to chicken.

My uncle actually made this bench specifically for cleaning snappers. You would lay the turtle on it's back on the small platform, and there were small hooks that you would hook to each corner of the shell and tighten down. The pressure pulled the top shell flat, so you could take a pairing knife and clean it fairly quickly.

The real fun was catching them. We would wade through creeks, feeling around under log jams and brush in the water. It sounds crazy, and it's scary as hell the first few times, but while a turtle is underwater, you can run your hands over them and they won't bite at all. They'll actually move their head out of the way of your hands. When you get a grip and try to pull them out of the mud however, they will fight like you wouldn't believe. You grab the shell right behind the head, and right at the butt, and try to hold on. We would put a few dozen turtles in a big stock tank under a crabapple tree till it was time for a fry.

Good times....


Sounds like a good way to get your fingers snapped off.

[Fish]

Sounds like a good way to get your fingers snapped off.

I still have all 8 of them....

[bogey]

Every time I visit my parents in Humansville, MO I have a hick moment. My wife is a CA girl and so is my 9 year old daughter. When we go home generally for Easter and deer season something new comes up. This year, during deer season, my nephew killed 3 squirrels. When he cleaned them, he convinced my daughter to help. She was enamored by the process, my wife was shocked. My wife tries very hard to not show her true feelings by things that happen during hunting season. I love and respect her for that because (understandably) it's very hard for her to hide her feelings on something she just doesn't like. When my wife shared this info with my in-laws they too were shocked that my daughter witnessed this experience. I let them know that she (my daughter) didn't get any guts on her. They weren't amused. They too however were very understandable. All things considered, my wife and in-laws are doing their best to get me.