TinyEvel
01-28-2008, 10:55 PM
You may not be able to afford a Bentley, or a Rolex, or a House in Hawaii, but for just a couple of dollars more each visit to the grocery store, you can have the ROLLS ROYCE OF TOILET PAPERS!
CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
I cannot provide a stronger endorsement for this wonder wipeage!
I had a rough day at the office today. And, to top it off, there was a brutal snarl of traffic on the way home. But when I finally arrived and grabbed the daily crossword and entered into my fortress of solitude I was greeted wtih a new white roll of business paper.
"What be this glistening gift from the gods?" I asked myself.
I would soon find out after completing almost half of the crossword and expunging the evils of coffee, fresh-mex and Snickers, I rolled out what I would soon discover is nothing less than the kiss of the angels:
CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
At first, I stopped mid-wipe. I thought that I had somehow mistakenly grabbed my wifes silk panties instead of toilet tissue. Yeah. It was THAT good. But subsequent visual inspection confirmed that this was, indeed, a blessing. And not in disguise.
So I again took a hearty wad and applied it with even more pressure than before. Again I was rewarded with a dab that felt as if a magic gnome had personally attended to me with a tiny cashmere mop dipped in melted butter!
Oh what sort of blessing is this?!
I was in disbelief (as I assume you would be, my dear reader) but it was TRUE!
As quickly as I could, I dashed to the bathroom cabinet with pants still around ankles and No. 2 pencil in hand to see what brand of bunny-soft, sheeted goodness was bestowed upon me.
I opened the cabinet and there he was. That silly cartoon bear. At once, I knew why he smiled so grinfully. CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
So, If you be so lucky as to have this product in your local grocer, I implore you to BUY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN and experience the plush flush, the Majestic manwipe, the Regal rump swab. You DESERVE it! And for a few pennies extra, you can have the Bentley of ass-wipers. Trust me, in all the places in your life to cut costs, this is NOT one of them.
You can thank me later.
--T.E.
CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
I cannot provide a stronger endorsement for this wonder wipeage!
I had a rough day at the office today. And, to top it off, there was a brutal snarl of traffic on the way home. But when I finally arrived and grabbed the daily crossword and entered into my fortress of solitude I was greeted wtih a new white roll of business paper.
"What be this glistening gift from the gods?" I asked myself.
I would soon find out after completing almost half of the crossword and expunging the evils of coffee, fresh-mex and Snickers, I rolled out what I would soon discover is nothing less than the kiss of the angels:
CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
At first, I stopped mid-wipe. I thought that I had somehow mistakenly grabbed my wifes silk panties instead of toilet tissue. Yeah. It was THAT good. But subsequent visual inspection confirmed that this was, indeed, a blessing. And not in disguise.
So I again took a hearty wad and applied it with even more pressure than before. Again I was rewarded with a dab that felt as if a magic gnome had personally attended to me with a tiny cashmere mop dipped in melted butter!
Oh what sort of blessing is this?!
I was in disbelief (as I assume you would be, my dear reader) but it was TRUE!
As quickly as I could, I dashed to the bathroom cabinet with pants still around ankles and No. 2 pencil in hand to see what brand of bunny-soft, sheeted goodness was bestowed upon me.
I opened the cabinet and there he was. That silly cartoon bear. At once, I knew why he smiled so grinfully. CHARMIN ULTRA SOFT!
So, If you be so lucky as to have this product in your local grocer, I implore you to BUY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN and experience the plush flush, the Majestic manwipe, the Regal rump swab. You DESERVE it! And for a few pennies extra, you can have the Bentley of ass-wipers. Trust me, in all the places in your life to cut costs, this is NOT one of them.
You can thank me later.
--T.E.