Rain Man
02-29-2008, 04:26 PM
Hypothetical:
A new sports craze sweeps the U.S. in 2014. Quektoball is a sport that appeals to all - young, old, tall, short, butch, lipstick, undocumented, Native American...you name the group, and they're wild about quektoball.
As the sport was making its meteoric rise to becoming the #1 sport in America (and the world other than soccer), your cousin bought you a joke Christmas gift of a quekto ball, quekto spoon, and quekto thong.
And a legend was born.
Some call it genes. Some call it talent. Some call it a unique intergalactic collision of social forces and the phenomenon that is you. But whatever it's called, you immediately display a talent that makes you the combined Jim Brown, Michael Jordan, Sweetness, and Montana of quektoball. You're bigger than Paris Hilton, more popular than Lincoln. Children write reports about you in school. Grown men fall to their knees in your presence.
Quektoball has a free agency system, and your former team won't sign you because the owner caught you doing unspeakable things with your quekto stick simultaneously with his wife, daughter, and housekeeper. When your free agency contract comes up, you get offers from three teams, all of which are basically identical. Each team went .500 the year before. Each team has green uniforms with silver trim and a pewter quekto nose horn. Each team has a Hanson brother. Each team is coached by a mercurial former professional athlete who has a prescription drug problem and motivates via cheesy challenges and gimmicks.
Team A is located 30 miles from your hometown.
Team B is located 200 miles from your hometown.
Team C is located 1,500 miles from your hometown.
Which team do you sign with?
A new sports craze sweeps the U.S. in 2014. Quektoball is a sport that appeals to all - young, old, tall, short, butch, lipstick, undocumented, Native American...you name the group, and they're wild about quektoball.
As the sport was making its meteoric rise to becoming the #1 sport in America (and the world other than soccer), your cousin bought you a joke Christmas gift of a quekto ball, quekto spoon, and quekto thong.
And a legend was born.
Some call it genes. Some call it talent. Some call it a unique intergalactic collision of social forces and the phenomenon that is you. But whatever it's called, you immediately display a talent that makes you the combined Jim Brown, Michael Jordan, Sweetness, and Montana of quektoball. You're bigger than Paris Hilton, more popular than Lincoln. Children write reports about you in school. Grown men fall to their knees in your presence.
Quektoball has a free agency system, and your former team won't sign you because the owner caught you doing unspeakable things with your quekto stick simultaneously with his wife, daughter, and housekeeper. When your free agency contract comes up, you get offers from three teams, all of which are basically identical. Each team went .500 the year before. Each team has green uniforms with silver trim and a pewter quekto nose horn. Each team has a Hanson brother. Each team is coached by a mercurial former professional athlete who has a prescription drug problem and motivates via cheesy challenges and gimmicks.
Team A is located 30 miles from your hometown.
Team B is located 200 miles from your hometown.
Team C is located 1,500 miles from your hometown.
Which team do you sign with?