So, my butthole itches REALLY bad right now

[TinyEvel]

WTF?!

It came out of nowhere. What can I do?

It's like I want to take my wife's round hairbrush and ram it up the chute like a friggen bottle washer.

I want to sit on a cactus right now.

I am one second away from taking off my pants and sitting on the rug and walking forward with my arms (a.k.a. "doggy Style #2")

:cuss:

[booger]

man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky finger

[Hammock Parties]

Help is on the way, dear.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Hmm. Well,

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1436/1316264756_4bcf0dcbdc.jpg?v=0

[TinyEvel]

w00t! I just opened a Bud Dry twist off with it.

[booger]

oh yeah, try sand paper some rough grit for the big chunks and to rip out the dingle berries then smooth grit to stop the bleeding.

[88TG88]

Tried cleaning it up, like with soap and stuff ??

[booger]

got peanut butter?

[booger]

antifreeze

[blueballs]

vinegar and water

[booger]

pressure washer and a wet vac

[TinyEvel]

Okay, so I just replaced my bike seat with about a foot's worth of crusty baguette and took a ride around the block, that was pretty sufficient....

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Okay, so I just replaced my bike seat with about a foot's worth of crusty baguette and took a ride around the block, that was pretty sufficient....

You might wanna get checked for worms.

[TinyEvel]

I just shoved my kid's plastic alligator into the crack of my BDVs and did the Suzanne Sommer's thigh blaster for three minutes.

Not enough.

[booger]

You might wanna get checked for worms.

or anal crickets






chirp chirp chirp

[DaneMcCloud]

You have a tickle in your anus?

[keg in kc]

This is the risk inherent in bending over for advertising clients.

[Hammock Parties]

Do you have a jacuzzi bath? The jets...they feel good on my anus.

[booger]

vaggycream

[booger]

Do you have a jacuzzi bath? The jets...they feel good in my anus.

FYP

[DaneMcCloud]

This is the risk inherent in bending over for advertising clients.

It was the guys in the editing bay that made him do it

[TinyEvel]

I just dropped three insect candles in the jacuzzi and let them melt, then got in with a length of rusty chain strapped under there (I think they call that the "Spartacus" in WeHo). Didn't do much

[Hammock Parties]

So it's safe to assume that men never mature? Just want a glimpse into my future.

[keg in kc]

It was the guys in the editing bay that made him do itI'm glad somebody understands the true hierarchy.

[TinyEvel]

Melted some Crayons on the stove and poured that on there (to try to create an airtight seal)
No dice. Now I have dingle cantalopes.

[booger]

does it burn when you pee?




when you poop?

[talastan]

Preperation H my friend.....Just remember, DO NOT TAKE ORALLY!

[TinyEvel]

It was the account reps that made him do it

FYP

[Hammock Parties]

You better watch it or you're gonna clog it from the outside.

[TinyEvel]

I made "the devil's onion ring" (a.k.a. the coil) a bit earlier and that's what set it off.

[booger]

butt plug

[keg in kc]

You could try showering every few days.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Anal On - Apply directly to the butthole
Anal On - Apply directly to the butthole
Anal On - Apply directly to the butthole

[booger]

I made "the devil's onion ring" (a.k.a. the coil) a bit earlier and that's what set it off.

pour gas on it. 93 octane

[booger]

ROFLAnal On - Apply directly to the butthole
Anal On - Apply directly to the butthole
Anal On - Apply directly to the butthole

[DaneMcCloud]

I made "the devil's onion ring" (a.k.a. the coil) a bit earlier and that's what set it off.

It's those damn burgers from Burger Town (or whatever that place is called).

That and sitting in front of a 90" Plasma TV playing Pornstar 3:The Revenge for Sony Playstation.

[booger]

I just shoved my kid's plastic alligator into the crack of my BDVs and did the Suzanne Sommer's thigh blaster for three minutes.

Not enough.

can you borrow his pet gerbil?

[BigRock]

http://www.cleanishappy.com/

I can't believe I had a reason to post this link twice in back to back posts.

[acesn8s]

It is probably thrash. Do a search for it and put down the donuts.

[TinyEvel]

That and sitting in front of a 90" Plasma TV playing Pornstar 3:The Revenge for Sony Playstation.

WEak. Are you drunk?

Tho, I did use the PS3 web browser to download some pR0n clips and watch them in 65" hi-def. :whackit:

Try THAT on your XBOX. a-holes!!!!!

[TinyEvel]

So, we have these juniper hedges along the whole front of our yard. I tried sliding feet first along that run. let's just say I was called "out"

[booger]

insert pine cone here

[DaneMcCloud]

WEak. Are you drunk?

Tho, I did use the PS3 web browser to download some pR0n clips and watch them in 65" hi-def. :whackit:

Try THAT on your XBOX. a-holes!!!!!

I wish!!!

I've been on night duty for 6 weeks. I get the 12-1am and 4-5am feedings, then get about 4 hours of sleep.

Plus, I had more mouth surgery Monday (and no Vicodin this time!).

So I'm extra-lame this week.

[TinyEvel]

WTF? Hollywood Hills and no prescription drug hookup?

That's like Living in St. Joe and not knowing a John Deere rep. :shake:

[teedubya]

Did someone say ASSHOLE?

http://www.rotary13.org/Images/Speakers/carl_d_peterson.jpg

[DaneMcCloud]

WTF? Hollywood Hills and no prescription drug hookup?

That's like Living in St. Joe and not knowing a John Deere rep. :shake:

Oh, I've got the 'Scripts and the hookup (she was here today, actually), I just can't take 'em.

I've got a Little Miss who's much more important :)

Have you tried a few shots of whiskey yet?

[acesn8s]

I wish!!!

I've been on night duty for 6 weeks. I get the 12-1am and 4-5am feedings, then get about 4 hours of sleep.

Plus, I had more mouth surgery Monday (and no Vicodin this time!).

So I'm extra-lame this week.
I thought I noticed a spike in your posts recently.

[TinyEvel]

I'll be by in a few to take those off your hands....

[DaneMcCloud]

I'll be by in a few to take those off your hands....

Head on over. I've got Oxy-Contin, too. :evil:

[DaneMcCloud]

I thought I noticed a spike in your posts recently.

"Spike" meaning increase in frequency or an increase in crankiness? o:-)

[acesn8s]

"Spike" meaning increase in frequency or an increase in crankiness? o:-)
I would make him wash his hands first. Afterall he has been scatching his own asshole.

[booger]

mixing bowl
Gold bond anti itch powder
pickle juice
mix into a thick paste
apply with paint brush

[acesn8s]

"Spike" meaning increase in frequency or an increase in crankiness? o:-)
"spike" meaning coherency

[Thig Lyfe]

Itchy assholes are the worst. I once had to walk like 2 miles in Chicago at like 1 or 2 in the morning with an itchy asshole. Ugh. Not fun.

Reminds me of a bit Dane Cook stole from Louis CK.

[acesn8s]

mixing bowl
Gold bond anti itch powder
pickle juice
mix into a thick paste
apply with paint brush
And let the cat lick it off?

[booger]

And let the cat lick it off?

no.

blow dry and then step in front of the mirror. Slap yourself in the face repeatedly as hard as possible.

[ClevelandBronco]

mixing bowl
Gold bond anti itch powder
pickle juice
mix into a thick paste
apply with wire brush

Suggested modification.

[booger]

Suggested modification.

diesel powered wire brush

[ClevelandBronco]

diesel powered wire brush

Yeah, but not one of those damned Chinese diesel powered wire brushes.

[DaneMcCloud]

Yeah, but not one of those damned Chinese diesel powered wire brushes.


I'm sure a SonicCare toothbrush would be a handy substitute

[booger]

We need a progress report Tiny. Any of this helping? These next few steps are critical!

[booger]

Yeah, but not one of those damned Chinese diesel powered wire brushes.

yep, must be lead free

[booger]

I'm sure a SonicCare toothbrush would be a handy substitute

careful, the sonic waves could cause the butt hairs to change coarse and grow inward.

[acesn8s]

careful, the sonic waves could cause the butt hairs to change coarse and grow inward.
That explains the wild hair up your ass.

[booger]

That explains the wild hair up your ass.

LMAO

Also time is a crucial matter. If any paste is left over it will harden within 15 minutes. Stong as concrete. He'll be forced to take a jackhammer to his bunghole or poop out of his mouth forever.

[acesn8s]

LMAO

Also time is a crucial matter. If any paste is left over it will harden within 15 minutes. Stong as concrete. He'll be forced to take a jackhammer to his bunghole or poop out of his mouth forever.
Has he tried the jackhammer? He may find it enjoyable.

[booger]

not sure. ask goatse.

[booger]

gotta run fellas
I'd love to stay and shoot the sh!t
Butt when your not sure if it's a fart or not
you have to ass ume the worst
it pays to play it safe in the end

[CrazyPhuD]

Dude shave your ass, don't you know the anal crabs go away if they don't have a place to nest?

[acesn8s]

Dude shave your ass, don't you know the anal crabs go away if they don't have a place to nest?
What aisle is the crab medicine in?

[tmax63]

and if you wash the missus's toothbrush real well she probably won't even notice!!!

[Bwana]

.

[keg in kc]

and if you wash the missus's toothbrush real well she probably won't even notice!!!She doesn't have any teeth, hence no toothbrush.

[Skip Towne]

careful, the sonic waves could cause the butt hairs to change coarse and grow inward.

That would lead to an ingrown asshole.

[acesn8s]

That would lead to an ingrown asshole.
We have enough of those around here.

[Phobia]

That would lead to an ingrown asshole.

You're thinking of inbred. I can see how you would make that mistake.

[blueballs]

put a flea collar on your gerbil

[el borracho]

Do you have a jacuzzi bath? The jets...they feel good on my anus.

http://www.nydailynews.com/img/2007/10/30/alg_clemens_pennington.jpg

[TLO]

Real life issues here today. I'm having this same issue. My God this is uncomfortable.

[cabletech94]

didn't tiny evel post something about "finding" a butt plug the other day?

asking for a friend. RE: big smoke.

[Cheater5]

Tucks. Buy some. Or just get some witch hazel.

Don't scratch that itch, you'll be sorreee.

[bevischief]

Hair brush?

[Coach]

Butt plug.

[threebag]

Pinworms

[bevischief]

More hookers and blow...

[BucEyedPea]

WTF?!

It came out of nowhere. What can I do?

It's like I want to take my wife's round hairbrush and ram it up the chute like a friggen bottle washer.

I want to sit on a cactus right now.

I am one second away from taking off my pants and sitting on the rug and walking forward with my arms (a.k.a. "doggy Style #2")

:cuss:

Parasites.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Real life issues here today. I'm having this same issue. My God this is uncomfortable.

Don't bump a god damn 8 year old thread about an itching anus. It's not about them any more , its about you so start your own fucking asshole thread asshole.

[Baby Lee]

ROFL - poor evel

http://www.luxuo.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/The-Seven-Year-Itch.jpg

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Parasites.

Of course he has parasites , haven't you read his posts !

[TinyEvel]

Never post while drunk guys.

Thanks for the bump from 7 years ago :cuss:

[gblowfish]

You my friend, have the severe medical condition known as "Tangy Asshole."

[BucEyedPea]

Well, without being able to ask you more questions about you like a doctor would, here's a medical site on it.

Anal itching is a symptom - not itself the diagnosis of a condition.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/168728.php

Causes:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/168728.php?page=2

Says to stop scratching to help break that cycle. Happy anal-yzing. :D

[TLO]

Never post while drunk guys.

Thanks for the bump from 7 years ago :cuss:

I was having similar issues. You can literally type anything into google, put chiefsplanet at the end of your search, and BOOM - there's a thread about it. LMAO

[TLO]

Well, without being able to ask you more questions about you like a doctor would, here's a medical site on it.

Anal itching is a symptom - not itself the diagnosis of a condition.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/168728.php

Causes:
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/168728.php?page=2

Says to stop scratching to help break that cycle. Happy anal-yzing. :D

This post is almost 8 years old. I don't think he's looking for advice anymore.

[BucEyedPea]

This post is almost 8 years old. I don't think he's looking for advice anymore.

Yes, I noticed that after I posted.

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Yes, I noticed that after I posted.

It's OK, assholes and asshole technology probably haven't changed much the last 8 years.

[threebag]

Maybe you should finger pop that asshole a little

[ChiefRocka]

Tomato or onions in your recent diet?

[Hoopsdoc]

If you're married, ask the lil misses for help. I'm sure she'll be glad to.

[Baby Lee]

You my friend, have the severe medical condition known as "Tangy Asshole."

Could be rascally gooch. The silent killer.

[Baby Lee]

If you're married, ask the lil misses for help. I'm sure she'll be glad to.

Plural?

[Hoopsdoc]

Plural?

Sorry, Mr Grammar Nazi, "missus". :D

[bevischief]

bomb pops... And avoid....

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Try a shower shit next time Tiny E

[Pasta Little Brioni]

I was having similar issues. You can literally type anything into google, put chiefsplanet at the end of your search, and BOOM - there's a thread about it. LMAO

Including shower dumps

[Toby Waller]

millions of dollars of internet accessibility and freedom wasted on this.....


this is like a 5th grade conversation from 1978

[TLO]

millions of dollars of internet accessibility and freedom wasted on this.....


this is like a 5th grade conversation from 1978

LMAO

[Toby Waller]

millions of dollars of internet accessibility and freedom wasted on this.....


this is like a 5th grade conversation from 1978

LMAO

http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11119/111191444/4532045-6189712613-73641.gif

[threebag]

Then the midgets

[Earthling]

Damn. This thread gave me the heebie geebies.

[Straight, No Chaser]

Talk to Glenn Frey... oops too late.