OT-Broken Heart?!

[jaa1025]

EDIT: Holy Shit I was a pussy!

Anyways, this bitch texted me 4 years later last night. "oops, that was to the wrong JXXXXX...anyways how are you". She's married now for 5 months but wants to get together to hook up. Says that the sex was great and missed it. Apparently she's a swinger and her husband is cool with it. Part of me wants to do it because the sex was great but I have moral issues.

**************************************************************************************************** ***********************************


How the F*** do you fix this stupid thing? Hope for lightning to strike you or a tornado to take you away??

I figured becoming a man slut and sleeping with every random girl that I could would help, but I'd probably end up regretting that somehow.

How the F*** do you fix this stupid thing? Hope for lightning to strike you or a tornado to take you away??

I figured becoming a man slut and sleeping with every random girl that I could would help, but I'd probably end up regretting that somehow.

Summery of the happenings.

Jane Doe and I dated for a little over 3 months. She's beautiful, sweet and we both really liked (loved) each other. She has one hang up though....she's confused about what she wants. She "wants a relationship, but isn't ready...and won't be for a long time". She "love's" me, but that didn't change her wanting to date other people. She was in a long relationship, year and a half and was engaged that ended in January. She was afraid I would be the rebound guy.

About 2 months into it...she told me that she loved me. Now, she was drinking, but alcohol doesn't change feelings in my opinion...it might make you say things that you normally won't when you are sober. Things were going VERY well until then. Once that was said, it freaked her out. She kept maintaining though that she didn't want a relationship throughout this. She hadn't dated anyone else since the first few weeks of us dating, but again down hill...she went out on a few dates. Specifically, it later came out that she had started hanging out with her next door neighbor and kissed him. In fact, her roommate had been out of town the last week we were dating and she had asked me to stay with her because she doesn't like to be alone...I worked...she slept on the neighbors "couch" instead.

So...I wanted to talk to her about the direction we were headed. She started pulling away, I started to give her space. I wasn't there when she called me and didn't text her back right away...this happened for a week. She stopped calling me baby and a lot of little 'pet names' that she had been calling me. Sex, which used to happen at least once a day...didn't happen the last week.

Tuesday, the 20th, I went over to her house to talk. I told her that I didn't like the direction that we were going. She told me that I had started acting weird. I explained that I noticed that she had started to pull away as I was giving her space and I didn't like that. I asked her if she had been dating anyone else and she said no...not really. I asked her about her neighbor, she said no, but they had been hanging out and they had kissed. I told her that I wanted more and I knew she couldn't do it and I told her that I couldn't do this anymore....and left.

Unfortunately...as some here have pointed out...I left my balls there. I cried for the first time in a very long time...every time a song came on that we listened together to...tv shows that we seen...everything reminded me of her. I left a freaking softball game because of how bad I played because I was being a pillowbiter. So, I called/texted/emailed her trying to work things out...I regretted that decision ever since I left. She got upset and was a bitch on the phone. I was an ass to her back.

Last Sunday, I went to her house to get my stuff. We talked for a few minutes and I thought things would be alright. We planned on going out for dinner later in the week. So, thinking things were better and since I didn't get a chance to talk to her about things, I emailed her. I knew she was busy with her mom later that day, which is why I chose that route. She never responded. I texted her the next morning when I got off work like I normally did wishing her a good day etc. Nothing. I called Tuesday...didn't answer. WTF??!! Things were alright...right? So...I emailed her at work. She called, bitched me out. Basically saying not to bring her personal life to work etc etc. The email wasn't bad at all...not sure what this was about. I responded very badly and told her basically to kick rocks. She told me that basically she lied to me the whole time about her feelings for me and led me on. While I know it's not true...it was mean to say it. Ouch.

After letting that settle in for a few days, I didn't want it to end like this. We had shared so much over the last 3+ months that I didn't want to leave it with us basically hating each other. So, I went to her house to drop off the rest of her stuff (used that as an excuse). We ended up talking for 3 1/2 hours. It went REALLY well. I gave her a massage...talked and watched her dog that once loved me...stare me down and growl at me. She gave me a huge long hug which she wouldn't let go when I tried to pull away early. I looked at her and kissed her forehead. Then I said goodbye. She said she needed more than 2 days to cool off from our last conversation...and would call me when she figures a few things out.

Who knows how it will turn out...I won't go back to how it was...but I do want her in my life.

[Hammock Parties]

Thread promises 100 replies at minimum.

[DaKCMan AP]

Antifreeze.

[Sully]

Early nomination for the Hall of Classics

[Rain Man]

Have you tried falling in love with a car?

Other than that, time heals all wounds.

[2112]

End all contact with said heart breaker and start looking for another one. even if you talk to other girls it helps, you don't necessarily have to **** them. but that wouldn't hurt either.

Good luck!

[2112]

Have you tried falling in love with a car?

Other than that, time heals all wounds.

This is true, but it still hurts and takes a long time.

[jaa1025]

Have you tried falling in love with a car?

Other than that, time heals all wounds.

I get bored with cars and trade them in every year...gets me in trouble! Although, I left my gas cap off on the way to the Gym after filling up....got me thinking....

Time does heal...I heard of some sort of electro shock that mimics a slight heart attack...but my heart is healthy...don't want to f*** that up too.

[Rain Man]

Although, I left my gas cap off on the way to the Gym after filling up....got me thinking....




This is the first step to moving on.

[jaa1025]

The thing that really gets me is that I ended it...why am I feeling this way. She was a hottie, treated me right, was in love with me...and then she got scared because of HER feelings. I tried to work it out, but she started pulling away and I didn't like the way things were going after that. She refused to talk about her feelings at all. Once she said, "I love you" to me...it went down hill from there. I didn't make it a big issue at all and I knew before she said it that she cared.


@#%!@#%!#%!!~

[Hammock Parties]

She was a hottie

Pics?

[Smed1065]

You were fine before they came along and you will be fine after they are gone. It just was not meant to be.

Timing has a lot to do with it.

[jaa1025]

End all contact with said heart breaker and start looking for another one. even if you talk to other girls it helps, you don't necessarily have to **** them. but that wouldn't hurt either.

Good luck!

Actually, this has helped a bit. It's been a week today, I still feel like crap but at least I'm not crying like a little school girl anymore. It gave me the courage to talk to one of the hottest girls I know at work and hit it off really well. Of course she won't sleep with me though....!@$!@ and doesn't date guys from work....it still helped a little talking to her...then when we said good bye's...SHE popped back in my head.

[Rausch]

I figured becoming a man slut and sleeping with every random girl that I could would help, but I'd probably end up regretting that somehow.

Yeah, not a solution I'd recomend.

I would recomend going on with your life. It's ok to feel like $#it. Hell, that's how you're going to feel most of your life anyway. Go on and do the things you enjoy doing and don't let feeling bad lead you to making stupid decisions...

[jaa1025]

Pics?

Yeah I've got some...I don't want to post them yet until I know for a fact that it's over. I'm still holding hope...maybe the next text or call is from her....she doesn't read this board (colts fan...wtf) but I'm sure someone at her work does.

[milkman]

I have an idea.

How about growing a pair?

[Hammock Parties]

Yeah I've got some...I don't want to post them yet until I know for a fact that it's over.

OK

she doesn't read this board (colts fan...wtf)

It's over.

[jaa1025]

You were fine before they came along and you will be fine after they are gone. It just was not meant to be.

Timing has a lot to do with it.

Timing had everything to do with it. She had been in a year and a half relationship before we met and said that she didn't want a relationship for awhile and wanted to date around. She told me that she would only be intimate with me and not one else. Things were going so well...she stopped dating other people. Told me sweet things and told me that she wanted more, but wasn't ready. She told me that I treated her better than nobody that she's ever been involved with...I was on top of the world when I was with her. She just wasn't ready...right person, wrong time.

[Sully]

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[jaa1025]

I have an idea.

How about growing a pair?

Yeah...I feel like a bitch.

[vailpass]

Man up.

[jaa1025]

Ok...so should I give up hope...delete her #, email address, pictures...everything?

[milkman]

Yeah...I feel like a bitch.

So like I said, grow a pair.

Either balls or breasts, your choice.

It sounds like breasts would be the way to go in this case.

[jaa1025]

So like I said, grow a pair.

Either balls or breasts, your choice.

It sounds like breasts would be the way to go in this case.

Nah...I'd never get laid....probably attract dudes like you.

[blueballs]

thank you for not boring her out

[cookster50]

Hello....sister or mom, that is the only way to get over it(her sister or mom you freak, not your own).

[Hammock Parties]

Ok...so should I give up hope...delete her #, email address, pictures...everything?

POST THE DAMN PICTURES!

[Smed1065]

Timing had everything to do with it. She had been in a year and a half relationship before we met and said that she didn't want a relationship for awhile and wanted to date around. She told me that she would only be intimate with me and not one else. Things were going so well...she stopped dating other people. Told me sweet things and told me that she wanted more, but wasn't ready. She told me that I treated her better than nobody that she's ever been involved with...I was on top of the world when I was with her. She just wasn't ready...right person, wrong time.

Maybe some of it is wanting what you was told you could not have, it works that way.

I assume that you are pretty young from the previous postings?

First advice would be to admit it is over and move on.

Maybe it is a sign that she is a Colt fan?
They have been heart breakers for Chief fans for years.

[milkman]

Nah...I'd never get laid....probably attract dudes like you.

So, in other words. you rather be a women and want to be ****ed by men.

[jaa1025]

She was amazing in bed....now I have very high expectations.

[Bowser]

Was she your best friend for like six years?

[RustShack]

Just go date some chick, take her virginity, and then break up with her a week later... I don't really know how it works, but it did for me. ha

[Sam Hall]

'I hope the friend you've thrown yourself with gets drunk and loses his job.'

It will be OK, man.

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[stumppy]

The very first thing you need to do is get her to agree to meet up with you so you both can talk. Hopefully you are both still on speaking terms. Tell her you have a lot on your mind and you'll never feel right if you let the oppurtunity to talk things over with her pass by. Meet her at HER favorite restaurant or club. Just make it too easy for her to see you one more time. Get cleaned up, dressed up, and be the perfect gentleman. Bring flowers for her. Now, listen carefully. this is the most important part. She is just like all women. At one point she'll have to go powder her nose. When she does you need to immediately open her purse, dig around and find your balls. As soon as you have them back in hand walk away.

[jaa1025]

Maybe some of it is wanting what you was told you could not have, it works that way.

I assume that you are pretty young from the previous postings?

First advice would be to admit it is over and move on.

Maybe it is a sign that she is a Colt fan?
They have been heart breakers for Chief fans for years.

Yeah probably...which made me want it more. I just didn't understand how she could be in love with me (unless she was full of shit) and still want to date other people. The only problem we ever had was dating other people. It made me uncomfortable. I never pushed her for a relationship but she knew I wanted more..she wanted more, but she wasn't ready...according to her. 3 1/2 months...I should have put up a wall or just remained **** buddies (which is how we started in February).

[blueballs]

this thread is not worthless
but would be so much better with tags

[jaa1025]

The very first thing you need to do is get her to agree to meet up with you so you both can talk. Hopefully you are both still on speaking terms. Tell her you have a lot on your mind and you'll never feel right if you let the oppurtunity to talk things over with her pass by. Meet her at HER favorite restaurant or club. Just make it too easy for her to see you one more time. Get cleaned up, dressed up, and be the perfect gentleman. Bring flowers for her. Now, listen carefully. this is the most important part. She is just like all women. At one point she'll have to go powder her nose. When she does you need to immediately open her purse, dig around and find your balls. As soon as you have them back in hand walk away.

I saw her Sunday to pick up my shirt. She was balling...and looked like she had been for most of the day. I gave her a hug, talked for a minute and said good bye. She did say she would get together and talk later this week.

[jaa1025]

Was she your best friend for like six years?

No...Met her in February...started dating/sleeping together very quickly...we hung out pretty much every day...when we didn't, she would call/text me.

The first month alone she texted me over 1000 times...kind of clingy, but I surprisingly enjoyed talking with her that much.

[Phobia]

The very first thing you need to do is get her to agree to meet up with you so you both can talk. Hopefully you are both still on speaking terms. Tell her you have a lot on your mind and you'll never feel right if you let the oppurtunity to talk things over with her pass by. Meet her at HER favorite restaurant or club. Just make it too easy for her to see you one more time. Get cleaned up, dressed up, and be the perfect gentleman. Bring flowers for her. Now, listen carefully. this is the most important part. She is just like all women. At one point she'll have to go powder her nose. When she does you need to immediately open her purse, dig around and find your balls. As soon as you have them back in hand walk away.

Heh. Awesome.

Some other quality advice is to break into a paddock or corral.

[KCUnited]

In all seriousness, the more you act like you don't care, the more the power shifts in your favor. That's when the call or text happens, not when your groveling.

[stumppy]

I saw her Sunday to pick up my shirt. She was balling...and looked like she had been for most of the day. I gave her a hug, talked for a minute and said good bye. She did say she would get together and talk later this week.

Hopefully she is still carrying your pair in her purse. Although she may have already had a point and giggle party with her girlfriends and your hairy pair.

[milkman]

Hopefully she is still carrying your pair in her purse. Although she may have already had a point and giggle party with her girlfriends and your hairy pair.

She has those things locked away.

[stumppy]

She has those things locked away.


With the rest of her collection.

[jaa1025]

In all seriousness, the more you act like you don't care, the more the power shifts in your favor. That's when the call or text happens, not when your groveling.

Yeah...that's what I'm trying to do...it is hard this time. Normally when I ignore a chick, she wants to know why I am...maybe it will work with this girl to.

[jaa1025]

Yeah...I gave her the power already when I texted her and emailed her a few times...I need to get it back. She has control now...****!

[Hammock Parties]

PICS!

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Where's the pics? Let's see what this broad looks like. We'll give you a better idea of how to handle it.

[Smed1065]

He has visited the planet before, so there will be no pics until he is convinced it is over.

You should give her a link so she can set up an account and work this out as well.

[Marco Polo]

I feel for you man. I went through one about two and a half years ago. The best thing to do is to completely quit all forms of communication. The sooner you stop talking to her the better. I made the mistake of keeping in contact with my ex and looking back, I regret it. Time really heals all wounds. Hook up with a woman or two (safely, of course) to get your confidence back and just move on with life. Maintain dignity.

[jaa1025]

I feel for you man. I went through one about two and a half years ago. The best thing to do is to completely quit all forms of communication. The sooner you stop talking to her the better. I made the mistake of keeping in contact with my ex and looking back, I regret it. Time really heals all wounds. Hook up with a woman or two (safely, of course) to get your confidence back and just move on with life. Maintain dignity.

Yeah...this is what I'm going to do. I've never felt like this before...she really had a hold of me like no one. I've got a few of her things here...I'm going to box them up and leave them at her doorstep and forget her. If she calls...it will be on my terms.

The good news is...I've hit the gym like an animal this past week and can concentrate on that and making more $$ at work.

I normally handle my emotions very well...just lost control a bit and didn't know how to handle it. Pretty much broke every Man rule there is.

[Bwana]

Yeah...I gave her the power already when I texted her and emailed her a few times...I need to get it back. She has control now...****!


:spock:

[Hammock Parties]

Nut up and post the pics. Every second you abstain from posting them proves she still has your balls.

[jaa1025]

The funny thing is...every sport teams she has I hate.

KU fan (im KState)
Colts fan (Chiefs...loathe Peyton Manning)
Boston Redsox (actually like them...but I think I caused the Royals to get swept...I'm a Royals fan)

[Sully]

So...
You like her, you want her back, and it's tearing you up. Add to that she says she still loves you...


... so you are going to walk away and forget her.
Sounds reasonable.

[Rausch]

Maintain your class.

Fight any revenge urges you might have, and for ****'s sake, don't post pics.

There is a dignity in sucking it up and moving on instead of being shallow and vindictive...

[jaa1025]

Nut up and post the pics. Every second you abstain from posting them proves she still has your balls.

Can't Bro...not an asshole.

She's 5'8
Long legs...big boobs. Pierced nipples. Long dark brown hair that's naturally curly and looks hot as hell when she leaves it that way but she chooses to straighten it daily...which looks good as well. She's got very pretty green eyes...her left one has a spot of brown. Very pretty face...kind of a small nose thats pushed up at the end...gorgeous ear to ear smile. Light complexion. Just a very beautiful woman.

[PastorMikH]

I can't believe no one has suggested asking her best friend out yet.



Seriously, there's 6+ billion people in this world, half of them are women. Move on. Now that she sees how you have acted she will never respect you as a man again. She may call you back to use you from time to time, but she's done with you. Move on, find a new relationship. If she comes crawling back, don't let her come back easy.

[Hammock Parties]

Can't Bro...not an asshole.

She's 5'8
Long legs...big boobs. Pierced nipples. Long dark brown hair that's naturally curly and looks hot as hell when she leaves it that way but she chooses to straighten it daily...which looks good as well. She's got very pretty green eyes...her left one has a spot of brown. Very pretty face...kind of a small nose thats pushed up at the end...gorgeous ear to ear smile. Light complexion. Just a very beautiful woman.

SHOW US GODDAMMIT

[Braincase]

1. DON'T call her.
2. BEHAVE as if it's no big thing. She's just another chick.
3. IF she has hot friends that think of you as being a good guy, don't pursue conversation, but don't shy away from it either. Always have a couple of tickets for the next good concert, and be sure to mention as part of the conversation in a casual way that the boddy that was coming in from out of town to go to the show can't. Maybe she's like to go if she doesn't have anything else goin' on.
4. DON'T go hang out in bars unless that's something you usually do.
5. DON'T get drunk off you ass and start moaning and complaining about how she broke your heart. It's not a big thing, you had a few kicks, but it's time to move on.
6. BE cool. Yeah, it sucks and it hurts. Fake it til you make it.

[KCrockaholic]

Yeah...this is what I'm going to do. I've never felt like this before...she really had a hold of me like no one. I've got a few of her things here...I'm going to box them up and leave them at her doorstep and forget her. If she calls...it will be on my terms.

The good news is...I've hit the gym like an animal this past week and can concentrate on that and making more $$ at work.

I normally handle my emotions very well...just lost control a bit and didn't know how to handle it. Pretty much broke every Man rule there is.

well atleast your looking at the bright side of things man...i know how you feel, im sure you feel empty, and your unsure of what to do with yourself to get your brain back under control. the biggest thing you can do is 1. let time heal it. 2. fill that empty space with something fun and motivational...3. try not to think about her too much, or not at all if possible ;)

[KCrockaholic]

Maintain your class.

Fight any revenge urges you might have, and for ****'s sake, don't post pics.

There is a dignity in sucking it up and moving on instead of being shallow and vindictive...

now thats a lesson most men need too hear.

[KCrockaholic]

Yeah...I gave her the power already when I texted her and emailed her a few times...I need to get it back. She has control now...****!

i still dont get why you broke up with her though...it sounds like she was really into you. are you afraid of being in love or what?

[Smed1065]

i still dont get why you broke up with her though...it sounds like she was really into you. are you afraid of being in love or what?

She told him she was not "ready". Commitment.

[Hammock Parties]

PICS NOW OR I LEAVE FOREVER

[PastorMikH]

DON'T YOU DARE POST THOSE PICS NOW!!!

[Skip Towne]

PICS NOW OR I LEAVE FOREVER

Promises, promises.

[Hammock Parties]

POST THE GODDAMN PICS YOU SON OF A BITCH

HEAL

[Phobia]

Just go date some chick, take her virginity, and then break up with her a week later... I don't really know how it works, but it did for me. ha

Ha indeed. You're very cool. I'll bet you get refunds on movie tickets too.

[jaa1025]

So...
You like her, you want her back, and it's tearing you up. Add to that she says she still loves you...


... so you are going to walk away and forget her.
Sounds reasonable.

It's not what I want to do...at all. I can't bother her though...I have to let her think about things and come to me. I texted her. I emailed her. I called her. I handled it about as poorly as a guy can. It will make things worse I think if I keep being persistent right now. Maybe a few weeks down the road try to call her and let her know I'm thinking about her? But right now...these last few days. I've called her twice...didn't take the call. I've texted her 3 times...nothing. I might have really screwed it up.

[Phobia]

POST THE GODDAMN PICS YOU SON OF A BITCH

HEAL
In order for peer pressure to work, one kinda has to be a peer.

I said peer not pear.

[jaa1025]

i still dont get why you broke up with her though...it sounds like she was really into you. are you afraid of being in love or what?

No...I embraced it for the first time in a long time. I wanted to move forward with her...she has commitment issues, not me. (ass backwards). She developed feelings for me and got scared...started pulling away. I remember thinking 2 weeks ago when I started to notice it...I chose the wrong thing which was to give her space. I stopped calling her every day. I started turning off my phone when I was sleeping and missed a few of her calls. I stopped pressing because I thought that's what she wanted: Space.

[Hammock Parties]

In order for peer pressure to work, one kinda has to be a peer.

I said peer not pear.


PEER INTO MY ASSHOLE

http://www.trendhure.com/wp-content/goatse.jpg

[Phobia]

It's not what I want to do...at all. I can't bother her though...I have to let her think about things and come to me. I texted her. I emailed her. I called her. I handled it about as poorly as a guy can. It will make things worse I think if I keep being persistent right now. Maybe a few weeks down the road try to call her and let her know I'm thinking about her? But right now...these last few days. I've called her twice...didn't take the call. I've texted her 3 times...nothing. I might have really screwed it up.

Dude - those rules are stupid. They're nothing but games, don't call for 3 days after the first date - and all that other crap. If you want her back you show her that you do. That doesn't mean stalk her.

OTOH, if she's completely ignoring all forms of communication I would say that you're screwed. "Getting her back" would be a tall order, I think.

[Sully]

It's not what I want to do...at all. I can't bother her though...I have to let her think about things and come to me. I texted her. I emailed her. I called her. I handled it about as poorly as a guy can. It will make things worse I think if I keep being persistent right now. Maybe a few weeks down the road try to call her and let her know I'm thinking about her? But right now...these last few days. I've called her twice...didn't take the call. I've texted her 3 times...nothing. I might have really screwed it up.

Well, I agree with this.
Space is good.
I just thought it was odd that you were saying you were going to forget about her, considering those facts.

[jaa1025]

Dude - those rules are stupid. They're nothing but games, don't call for 3 days after the first date - and all that other crap. If you want her back you show her that you do. That doesn't mean stalk her.

OTOH, if she's completely ignoring all forms of communication I would say that you're screwed. "Getting her back" would be a tall order, I think.

Yeah...looking back...it was terrible to do. It really made things worse. I saw her yesterday...she was crying but she seemed really happy to see me. I made her smile. I asked her to go out later in the week and she said it sounded like a good idea. I was so happy.

I texted her later that night...nothing. I told her it felt great to see her and am looking forward to seeing her again. Then wished her good night. This morning...I texted her after work (which i used to do all the time) and told her to wake up! and have a good day at work...and to call me later. Nothing. I called her and left a message (because she didn't answer) later on in the day when I hadn't heard from her. No call.

She worked until 430 then had a wake to go to with a friend tonight...so I know she is busy. Should I give it more time or try to call her tomorrow? We did have plans to go out....tentatively...but with her not answering/returning phone calls or texts...I don't know if that has changed. It's not like her all...

[jaa1025]

Well, I agree with this.
Space is good.
I just thought it was odd that you were saying you were going to forget about her, considering those facts.

I just can't sit and sulk over her forever. If she doesn't want anything to do with me...which I wish if that were true...she would tell me to kick rocks. If she does but needs space/time...then just tell me. I would be alright with that. Do I want to? No...not at all. I want nothing more than to make things work with her.

[Sully]

I just can't sit and sulk over her forever. If she doesn't want anything to do with me...which I wish if that were true...she would tell me to kick rocks. If she does but needs space/time...then just tell me. I would be alright with that. Do I want to? No...not at all. I want nothing more than to make things work with her.

That's a tough one. I agree with Phob that all the games are bullshit, but it seems you do need to give some space. I don't know how much, though... and that's the tough part. It seems maybe she's trying to do the same at this point. Allow her time, and give yourself time, and go from there.
But what sucks is that not one person can give you perfect advie in a case like this.

[2112]

Question. why did you put ''OT-'' in the thread header?

[milkman]

Question. why did you put ''OT-'' in the thread header?

Off Topic.

[milkman]

That's a tough one. I agree with Phob that all the games are bullshit, but it seems you do need to give some space. I don't know how much, though... and that's the tough part. It seems maybe she's trying to do the same at this point. Allow her time, and give yourself time, and go from there.
But what sucks is that not one person can give you perfect advie in a case like this.

Don't underestimate the planet.

Stumpy's advise was perfect.

[banyon]

Question. why did you put ''OT-'' in the thread header?

I wanted to ask that question too. I was thinking "overtime".

[2112]

Off Topic.

Since when is this off topic? :spock:

[Phobia]

I just can't sit and sulk over her forever. If she doesn't want anything to do with me...which I wish if that were true...she would tell me to kick rocks. If she does but needs space/time...then just tell me. I would be alright with that. Do I want to? No...not at all. I want nothing more than to make things work with her.

Did she dump you?

Maybe she's met somebody and she was crying because she feels guilty the way she treated you. If she's not returned your first half dozen efforts to contact her, there's nothing you can do but wait. More than that and she starts building a stalking case against you.

[Sully]

Don't underestimate the planet.

Stumpy's advise was perfect.

ROFL

[jaa1025]

Did she dump you?

Maybe she's met somebody and she was crying because she feels guilty the way she treated you. If she's not returned your first half dozen efforts to contact her, there's nothing you can do but wait. More than that and she starts building a stalking case against you.

No I broke it off with her Tuesday.

[Ebolapox]

erm, definitely ignore all quotes that taco john posts. that's the only thing I have to say on the subject.






:spock:

[2112]

No I broke it off with her Tuesday.

You broke it off and you're whining like this?


ROFL

[milkman]

Since when is this off topic? :spock:

:shrug:

I guess since he put a Chiefs logo as the thread icon.

[Hammock Parties]

No I broke it off with her Tuesday.

PICS CHOP CHOP

[milkman]

You broke it off and you're whining like this?


ROFL

Whining?

:crybaby:

[2112]

Whining?

:crybaby:
Crying http://www.jetnation.com/forums/images/smilies/cry.gif

[KCUnited]

Has her not returning your calls, emails, and texts made you think about her more? If you answered yes, then you need to stop all attempts at contact. Some call it games and BS, but its obviously working for her.

[jaa1025]

You broke it off and you're whining like this?


ROFL

My definition of whining and yours are different.

[Phobia]

No I broke it off with her Tuesday.

I made mistakes with my wife twice while we were dating. It took a long time for her to recover from that pain.

Stop calling, stopping by, texting, and emailing.

Write her a HANDWRITTEN letter on some masculine stationary. The letter should explain why it was a mistake and why you want to continue your relationship. Deliver it where she will find it along with a single simple flower and then leave it at that. If she calls you're good. If she ignores that one, move on.

[2112]

My definition of whining and yours are different.

Dude, I don't think I'm the only one in this thread that thought you were the one that got dumped. not vice versa. now how do you think I came to that conclusion? :hmmm:

[Skip Towne]

You need to do her in the butt. I'm surprised Phobia didn't mention this.

[KCUnited]

I made mistakes with my wife twice while we were dating. It took a long time for her to recover from that pain.

Stop calling, stopping by, texting, and emailing.

Write her a HANDWRITTEN letter on some masculine stationary. The letter should explain why it was a mistake and why you want to continue your relationship. Deliver it where she will find it along with a single simple flower and then leave it at that. If she calls you're good. If she ignores that one, move on.

I respectfully disagree about the letter. I know a dude that tried that and he still gets his balls broke about it by the people that have gotten their hands on it over the years. Never leave any evidence of past feelings.

[Skip Towne]

I'll bet she found herself a new dude with a schlong thiiiiis long.

[Phobia]

I respectfully disagree about the letter. I know a dude that tried that and he still gets his balls broke about it by the people that have gotten their hands on it over the years. Never leave any evidence of past feelings.

I think that's a poor reason, though. Sounds like the woman means more to him than a couple ball bustings.

There's no real advice without knowing the gal and the exact situation though. Women would be the best person to ask.

[ClevelandBronco]

I recommend that you look up and review "The D.enise Show."

[Smed1065]

So...
You like her, you want her back, and it's tearing you up. Add to that she says she still loves you...


... so you are going to walk away and forget her.
Sounds reasonable.

Best option thus far?

U whipped?

[jaa1025]

I think that's a poor reason, though. Sounds like the woman means more to him than a couple ball bustings.

There's no real advice without knowing the gal and the exact situation though. Women would be the best person to ask.

Embarrassment would be worth it if that's what it took so thats the last thing I'm worried about. Its more of, would it bother her if I wrote a letter or should I give her space...try to move on and hope that she will call knowing already how I feel.

[jaa1025]

Best option thus far?

U whipped?


Got to get ready for work...sit in front of a computer all night, so I'll continue to look at peoples advice and keep this post updated until its over or we are together again.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Thread promises 100 replies at minimum.

And it has passed from the lips of the man with the silly hat.

[beach tribe]

I made mistakes with my wife twice while we were dating. It took a long time for her to recover from that pain.

Stop calling, stopping by, texting, and emailing.

Write her a HANDWRITTEN letter on some masculine stationary. The letter should explain why it was a mistake and why you want to continue your relationship. Deliver it where she will find it along with a single simple flower and then leave it at that. If she calls you're good. If she ignores that one, move on.

Follow this post. Nothing more need be said.

[milkman]

Got to get ready for work...sit in front of a computer all night, so I'll continue to look at peoples advice and keep this post updated until its over or we are together again.

Ok,

Here's what you do.

Punch her in the face.

[keg in kc]

Ok,

Here's what you do.

Punch her in the face.With your dick.

[milkman]

With your dick.

She has his balls, so his dick is useless.

[Smed1065]

Ok,

Here's what you do.

Punch her in the face.

If you want to be milkman in 10 years.

[milkman]

If you want to be milkman in 10 years.

You're right.
My bad.

Here's waht you do.

Make love to her car.

[keg in kc]

She has his balls, so his dick is useless.Nothing wrong with a limp noodle smack. They can really sting a girl.

[Hammock Parties]

And it has passed from the lips of the man with the silly hat.

I need a new hat. I'd get an Indiana Jones hat but I don't want to look too nerdy. Maybe you can suggest one.

[jaa1025]

No, the sex was great...amazing...trust me, we had ZERO issues this.

[stumppy]

No, the sex was great...amazing...trust me, we had ZERO issues this.


Apparently YOU had zero issues with it.

If when the bedroom door closes and your name suddenly becomes 'OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD', her back is arched, her toes are curled and she is physically unable to walk out of that room fear of commitment is no longer an issue for them.

[Demonpenz]

I didn't feel well all weekend. One of my friends shot himself and killed himself. So I have been listening to blackbird and yesterday by the beatles in my apartment. You don't want feel shit like the grass or watch tv anymore? I don't understand it

[ClevelandBronco]

I didn't feel well all weekend. One of my friends shot himself and killed himself. So I have been listening to blackbird and yesterday by the beatles in my apartment. You don't want feel shit like the grass or watch tv anymore? I don't understand it

For God's sake, stay away from the Niel Young.

[DaneMcCloud]

For God's sake, stay away from the Niel Young.

And especially stay away from Neil Young

[DaneMcCloud]

No, the sex was great...amazing...trust me, we had ZERO issues this.

I don't believe this story but let me make sure I've got the facts straight:

1. Hot chick. 5'9. Pierced Nipples. Great legs.
2. Great sex
3. Insecure but digs you.

Then, you dump her? And less than a week later, you're whining on a football forum that she won't return your calls or texts?

YOU dumped her. If she was having issues about becoming closer to you last week, you should have just backed the **** off. There was no reason to end it and break up with her because it sounds like it was happening anyway. Why pour salt in the wound?

FWIW, She's probably been out partying her ass off since YOU dumped her. She may have already started bed hopping, if she's as clingy and insecure as you describe.

IMO, you probably did the right thing. First instincts are always best in these situations.

And she sounds like she's no where near ready for a real relationship.

Move on.

[Smed1065]

DaneMcCloud is Sucking

[ClevelandBronco]

And especially stay away from Neil Young

Him too.

[DaneMcCloud]

Him too.

:evil:

[KCrockaholic]

well i would say you made a mistake man, give it time and hope she comes back...things might be different for a while if she does but atleast youll have her again. good luck

[DaneMcCloud]

well i would say you made a mistake man, give it time and hope she comes back...things might be different for a while if she does but atleast youll have her again. good luck

If this girl, no matter how hot, has emotional issues, he should turn and run as fast as he can the other way.

Not.

Worth.

It.

[FAX]

I would probably drown my sorrows in a tub full of lesbians. But, that's just me.

FAX

[DaneMcCloud]

DaneMcCloud is Sucking

What's your ****ing problem, Asswipe?

Leaving negative comments on my profile page?

I don't even know who the **** you are, Douche.

[Joie]

First of all, OT=Offensive Tackle. So unless an offensive tackle that plays for the Chiefs has a broken heart, your subject line and icon for this thread were worthless.


Now, why are you being such a whiny little bitch? You dated/slept with her for three and a half MONTHS!! The only commitment the two of you should have been making is dinner reservations.

Finally, grow a pair, stop crying and move on.

[Smed1065]

What's your ****ing problem, Asswipe?

Leaving negative comments on my profile page?

I don't even know who the **** you are, Douche.

But most know you!

and that is more than enough. From the comments.
most noT want to be in a room with U.

So least posting but most azz?

Figure it now.......

Wonder why-LOL

[DaneMcCloud]

But most know you!

and that is more than enough. From the comments.
most noT want to be in a room with U.

So least posting but most azz?

Figure it now.......

Wonder why-LOL

Nice, incoherent, drunk-ass gibberish.

**** Doll

[Smed1065]

Sure whatever takes you off the most unwanted in a room thread for a week. ROFL

ROFLMAO.

[jaa1025]

If this girl, no matter how hot, has emotional issues, he should turn and run as fast as he can the other way.

Not.

Worth.

It.


Not really emotional issues but has no idea what she wants...which might be worse.

[HMc]

I can't believe no one has asked how old she is, for that is absolutely crucial in the formulation of advice.

how old?

[jaa1025]

I can't believe no one has asked how old she is, for that is absolutely crucial in the formulation of advice.

how old?

23 years old

[ClevelandBronco]

Not really emotional issues but has no idea what she wants...which might be worse.

What do you want?

Another night with her?

An undetermined short-term while with her?

An undetermined long-term while with her?

What is your bottom line objective with a woman?

[HMc]

crap, that's in no man's land. If she's 19, you cease contact. 26, and you write the letter.

Regardless given your attempts at contact thatve failed, you gotta stop that. Don't initiate shit. Then, IF she attempts to contact you, do the following...

Text message - DONT reply immediately, you'll look desperate. Or more desperate. Leave at least a couple hours delay. Don't feel the need to explain your delayed response.

Phone Call - DONT answer it. Text her a couple hours later, tell her you were having lunch with a friend. Don't say MATE or BUDDY or whatever generic word you use to describe your MALE friends. Introduce some ambiguity.

Appear to be real busy with work/play/whatever. Even if you arent. Don't give her the impression you're sitting arounf crying about it all. NOT attractive.

[PastorMikH]

Just went through something somewhat similar to this with the oldest daughter (16:doh!:)(without the piercings and intamacy - I hope). She dumped her boyfriend of a little over a year back around Jan/Feb. Then, when he moved on and started noticing other girls, she started getting upset. He thought it was funny that she was jealous after breaking up with him so he played it up. I wasn't very popular over the last 3 months because I kept telling her that SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM and he has every right to move on and she needed to move on as well.

She broke up with him in attempt to straighten him out. But when he didn't come crawling back, begging her forgiveness and promising to change, she realized she overstepped. But, like I told her, once that hand is played it's too late to pull it back.

It's taken 3 months but she is finally realizing that this guy isn't the only one out there, nor is he the best guy out there either. She's also realized that her "Out of touch with reality" dad does indeed have a bit more experience in these matters than she gave him credit for.



If I were in your shoes, and had done what you've done, no matter how I felt, I would start moving on and if she came back to me, then I'd consider the situation when it does take place. I'd treat her nice and respectful when I saw her around, I'd talk to her if she were to seek me out, but everything within me would be moving on. Yeah, my heart would hurt, but I'd shove the feelings under a smile and keep holding my head up anyway and move on without looking back.

No matter how great she seemed, she wasn't perfect and there are others out there. But, they won't put up with a guy that is still hooked on an Ex - and you won't notice them if you are still dwelling on a past relationship. Learn from this one and move on.

[HMc]

I'd treat her nice and respectful when I saw her around, I'd talk to her if she were to seek me out, but everything within me would be moving on. Yeah, my heart would hurt, but I'd shove the feelings under a smile and keep holding my head up anyway and move on without looking back.



Yeah this is also important. Always smile and be polite when you see them around. Act like your shit is all sorted, and always be the one to end the conversation because you have to go somewhere else/talk to someone else.

[DaneMcCloud]

Not really emotional issues but has no idea what she wants...which might be worse.

Yes.

And if at age 23 she hasn't figured out what she wants, the same advice applies.

Not.

Worth.

It.

Heartache sucks but breaking it off after only 3.5 months sounds to me like you're missing the pierced-nipples, long legs and sexy time.

You haven't said anything else complimentary about her, which is what leads me to that conclusion.

Personally, I think you should go out and bone-around. You're not with her anymore and its time to move on.

It's my experience that no one regrets boning around when single. Most regret NOT being able to bone around when they're in an unhappy marriage or relationship.

Enjoy it while the time is right.

[jaa1025]

crap, that's in no man's land. If she's 19, you cease contact. 26, and you write the letter.

Regardless given your attempts at contact thatve failed, you gotta stop that. Don't initiate shit. Then, IF she attempts to contact you, do the following...

Text message - DONT reply immediately, you'll look desperate. Or more desperate. Leave at least a couple hours delay. Don't feel the need to explain your delayed response.

Phone Call - DONT answer it. Text her a couple hours later, tell her you were having lunch with a friend. Don't say MATE or BUDDY or whatever generic word you use to describe your MALE friends. Introduce some ambiguity.

Appear to be real busy with work/play/whatever. Even if you arent. Don't give her the impression you're sitting arounf crying about it all. NOT attractive.

Great advice. She's in the middle at 23.

I know how desperate I must have looked talking to her this past week. I know it's unattractive and I knew it when I did it, but still did it anyways.

[ClevelandBronco]

Yeah this is also important. Always smile and be polite when you see them around. Act like your shit is all sorted, and always be the one to end the conversation because you have to go somewhere else/talk to someone else.

I remember this exact advice coming from Mike Damone in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

[HMc]

Most of what Dane said is bullshit, IMHO, if she calls you up and says that going without you has demonstrated to her that she really wants you, you're not going to tell her to F off so you can bone randoms.

[DaneMcCloud]

Most of what Dane said is bullshit, IMHO, if she calls you up and says that going without you has demonstrated to her that she really wants you, you're not going to tell her to F off so you can bone randoms.

Well, good for you.

Personally, I wouldn't spend two seconds with an emotionally detached 23 year old chick who doesn't have a clue as to what she wants in life (least of all, who she wants to be with) but go ahead with your bad self.

Mr. Damone.

[jaa1025]

Yes.

And if at age 23 she hasn't figured out what she wants, the same advice applies.

Not.

Worth.

It.

Heartache sucks but breaking it off after only 3.5 months sounds to me like you're missing the pierced-nipples, long legs and sexy time.

You haven't said anything else complimentary about her, which is what leads me to that conclusion.

Personally, I think you should go out and bone-around. You're not with her anymore and its time to move on.

It's my experience that no one regrets boning around when single. Most regret NOT being able to bone around when they're in an unhappy marriage or relationship.

Enjoy it while the time is right.

Well, that was to satisfy the people that were demanding a pic. Sure, the looks really intrigued me and attracted me at first. It was everything else that had me head over heals for her. It was her laugh, her smile...the way she looked at me. The feeling I got laying in bed when she would tell me that no one has ever treated her as well as I have. The way she played around acting like she was tough and tried to playfully beat me up. The little games that we would play when she was bored at work via text messages. She made me feel like I was better than I am...I loved that. All of it. My friend, it was soooo much more than looks.

[DaneMcCloud]

Well, that was to satisfy the people that were demanding a pic. Sure, the looks really intrigued me and attracted me at first. It was everything else that had me head over heals for her. It was her laugh, her smile...the way she looked at me. The feeling I got laying in bed when she would tell me that no one has ever treated her as well as I have. The way she played around acting like she was tough and tried to playfully beat me up. The little games that we would play when she was bored at work via text messages. She made me feel like I was better than I am...I loved that. All of it. My friend, it was soooo much more than looks.


Then WHY did you break it off 7 days ago?

[jaa1025]

Just went through something somewhat similar to this with the oldest daughter (16:doh!:)(without the piercings and intamacy - I hope). She dumped her boyfriend of a little over a year back around Jan/Feb. Then, when he moved on and started noticing other girls, she started getting upset. He thought it was funny that she was jealous after breaking up with him so he played it up. I wasn't very popular over the last 3 months because I kept telling her that SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM and he has every right to move on and she needed to move on as well.

She broke up with him in attempt to straighten him out. But when he didn't come crawling back, begging her forgiveness and promising to change, she realized she overstepped. But, like I told her, once that hand is played it's too late to pull it back.

It's taken 3 months but she is finally realizing that this guy isn't the only one out there, nor is he the best guy out there either. She's also realized that her "Out of touch with reality" dad does indeed have a bit more experience in these matters than she gave him credit for.



If I were in your shoes, and had done what you've done, no matter how I felt, I would start moving on and if she came back to me, then I'd consider the situation when it does take place. I'd treat her nice and respectful when I saw her around, I'd talk to her if she were to seek me out, but everything within me would be moving on. Yeah, my heart would hurt, but I'd shove the feelings under a smile and keep holding my head up anyway and move on without looking back.

No matter how great she seemed, she wasn't perfect and there are others out there. But, they won't put up with a guy that is still hooked on an Ex - and you won't notice them if you are still dwelling on a past relationship. Learn from this one and move on.

Yes, I feel like a 16 yo in this situation. I guess part of the reason I ended it was to make her realize that things had to change. I couldn't take her wanting to date other guys. She told me that if she doesn't date other guys and just dates me, then that's a relationship and she wasn't ready for that...with anyone. (still hung up on her ex of a year and a half I think). I don't know if I could have changed her opinion just by talking because she was dead set on this in her mind.

[DaneMcCloud]

Yes, I feel like a 16 yo in this situation. I guess part of the reason I ended it was to make her realize that things had to change. I couldn't take her wanting to date other guys. She told me that if she doesn't date other guys and just dates me, then that's a relationship and she wasn't ready for that...with anyone. (still hung up on her ex of a year and a half I think). I don't know if I could have changed her opinion just by talking because she was dead set on this in her mind.

Dude, just move on.

She's wanting to date other guys? **** that.

Move on.

[HMc]

Great advice. She's in the middle at 23.

I know how desperate I must have looked talking to her this past week. I know it's unattractive and I knew it when I did it, but still did it anyways.

Don't worry about it mate, i'ts done. I know what you mean about knowing its the wrong thing to do even when you were doing it yet doing it anyway. We've all been there. The ability to avoid that gets better with practice i've found.

Personally i think the best thing to do is to go out with your friends and have a good time. Let your hair down, whether its beers/cigarettes/coke or whatever does it for you. Maybe call up an old friend and renew a friendship. If it's a female, don't breakdown and talk their ear off about your problems, act like you're over the chick. Tell em you broke up with her cos it wasnt working. Even if you don't have an interest in that girl its good practice for those that you will do.

[ClevelandBronco]

You've said that she is confused, and that may very well be true.

But you sound as if you are confused as well.

When you think about your life a year from now, would you want her to be a part of it? Are you prepared to be a part of her life? Can it extend beyond a year? Could it become a lifetime commitment?

Just what are you looking for?

[jaa1025]

Then WHY did you break it off 7 days ago?

Because she wanted to date other people and I wanted more. I knew she loved me before she even said the words by the way she acted, the things she said...she was really into me. Once she said that...she pulled away. Then on one of her dates, she kissed the guy. He happened to be her next door neighbor.

I ended it within 2 minutes of hearing that. I didn't want to know why or if it happened more than once. If he initiated it or if she did...I just had to end it. In doing that, I hoped that she would stop me. I hoped that she would want me back, but things would have to change.

If she wasn't ready for not dating other people...then I couldn't do it. Now...I'd take back what we had and work on getting her mind on me...the prize. Well...that was earlier...Now, after reading replies and talking to a few friends...she needs to come back on my terms because this will happen again and I'll get hurt again.

[jaa1025]

You've said that she is confused, and that may very well be true.

But you sound as if you are confused as well.

When you think about your life a year from now, would you want her to be a part of it? Are you prepared to be a part of her life? Can it extend beyond a year? Could it become a lifetime commitment?

Just what are you looking for?

Yes...she asked me a few weeks ago what I wanted in 5 years. I told her married, big house and starting a family...it's what she told me she wanted to. Question came out of the blue.

[HMc]

Well, good for you.

Personally, I wouldn't spend two seconds with an emotionally detached 23 year old chick who doesn't have a clue as to what she wants in life (least of all, who she wants to be with) but go ahead with your bad self.

Mr. Damone.

I was just disagreeing. Why you bothered to neg rep AND send me a PM laced with F bombs, i don't understand.

Oh and yes, i think you're a complete wanker.

[jaa1025]

You've said that she is confused, and that may very well be true.

But you sound as if you are confused as well.

When you think about your life a year from now, would you want her to be a part of it? Are you prepared to be a part of her life? Can it extend beyond a year? Could it become a lifetime commitment?

Just what are you looking for?

Which is WHY I am having a hard time with this...I saw a future with the girl that extended past just dating and a relationship. She said the same thing too....it's that shit that confused me. She would standfast by her non relationship talk, but tell me things like that.

[PastorMikH]

Yes, I feel like a 16 yo in this situation. I guess part of the reason I ended it was to make her realize that things had to change. I couldn't take her wanting to date other guys. She told me that if she doesn't date other guys and just dates me, then that's a relationship and she wasn't ready for that...with anyone. (still hung up on her ex of a year and a half I think). I don't know if I could have changed her opinion just by talking because she was dead set on this in her mind.



Dude, though some here might disagree, sounds to me like you made the right choice in ending it. Maybe you did it for the wrong reason, but if you are looking for any kind of relationship, faithfulness is kinda important in my out-dated opinion, and if she is wanting to date around, then there isn't much hope for a relationship to grow anyway. No point in feeling like you've been kicked in the nads every weekend when she decides to go out all night with another guy only to come home to you through the week.

Though it doesn't seem possible right now to you, there are women out there that will top her.

[HMc]

Because she wanted to date other people and I wanted more. I knew she loved me before she even said the words by the way she acted, the things she said...she was really into me. Once she said that...she pulled away. Then on one of her dates, she kissed the guy. He happened to be her next door neighbor.

I ended it within 2 minutes of hearing that. I didn't want to know why or if it happened more than once. If he initiated it or if she did...I just had to end it. In doing that, I hoped that she would stop me. I hoped that she would want me back, but things would have to change.

If she wasn't ready for not dating other people...then I couldn't do it. Now...I'd take back what we had and work on getting her mind on me...the prize. Well...that was earlier...Now, after reading replies and talking to a few friends...she needs to come back on my terms because this will happen again and I'll get hurt again.

Okay dude run for the hills, it's over. Give her 6 months or a year. Let some other dude get smoked while she doesnt know what she's doing.

[DaneMcCloud]

Because she wanted to date other people and I wanted more. I knew she loved me before she even said the words by the way she acted, the things she said...she was really into me. Once she said that...she pulled away. Then on one of her dates, she kissed the guy. He happened to be her next door neighbor.

I ended it within 2 minutes of hearing that. I didn't want to know why or if it happened more than once. If he initiated it or if she did...I just had to end it. In doing that, I hoped that she would stop me. I hoped that she would want me back, but things would have to change.

If she wasn't ready for not dating other people...then I couldn't do it. Now...I'd take back what we had and work on getting her mind on me...the prize. Well...that was earlier...Now, after reading replies and talking to a few friends...she needs to come back on my terms because this will happen again and I'll get hurt again.

You know Dude, I'm not a father like some of these guys and I'm probably more direct (hence the "harshness" of my replies).

But the bottom line is this girl is not right for you. She wants to date other people. If that's not what you want, then you need to deal and move. There's absolutely no reason for you to "share" her in any way, if that's not what you want. It's obviously not what you want, or you wouldn't have ended it with her which IMO, was the correct thing to do in this case.

Both of you are in different places and there's no way that you can "convince" her otherwise. She has to figure it out on her own.

Move on, Dude.

[HMc]

You know Dude, I'm not a father like some of these guys and I'm probably more direct (hence the "harshness" of my replies).

But the bottom line is this girl is not right for you. She wants to date other people. If that's not what you want, then you need to deal and move. There's absolutely no reason for you to "share" her in any way, if that's not what you want. It's obviously not what you want, or you wouldn't have ended it with her which IMO, was the correct thing to do in this case.

Both of you are in different places and there's no way that you can "convince" her otherwise. She has to figure it out on her own.

Move on, Dude.

I do agree with this. The other guy thing is a complete dealbreaker IMHO.

[jaa1025]

You know Dude, I'm not a father like some of these guys and I'm probably more direct (hence the "harshness" of my replies).

But the bottom line is this girl is not right for you. She wants to date other people. If that's not what you want, then you need to deal and move. There's absolutely no reason for you to "share" her in any way, if that's not what you want. It's obviously not what you want, or you wouldn't have ended it with her which IMO, was the correct thing to do in this case.

Both of you are in different places and there's no way that you can "convince" her otherwise. She has to figure it out on her own.

Move on, Dude.

I'm going to give it some more time, if she comes back...great, if not. I'll cut my losses. But...things CAN'T go back to where they were. They just can't. I want more...she does need to figure things out before we can get back together...i just might not be there if it's too late.

I won't share period. We are passed that. She said that she would be only intimate with me, but still wanted to date. Kissing some guy is almost as bad and possibly leads to other bad things.

[FAX]

Obviously, you've received a great deal of excellent advice on this thread, Mr. jaa1025, and it appears that "grow a pair" represents the majority opinion.

I'd just like to add that, when you grow your pair, try not to grow them too large. You don't want activities like sitting or biking to cause inordinate discomfort.

FAX

[jaa1025]

I do agree with this. The other guy thing is a complete dealbreaker IMHO.

Yeah...that's why I broke it off. I have no clue about him. Basically him or me. I told her I wouldn't give her an ultimatum a long time ago...so I took the choice from her and she will have to decide things on her own.

[ClevelandBronco]

...I couldn't take her wanting to date other guys. She told me that if she doesn't date other guys and just dates me, then that's a relationship and she wasn't ready for that...with anyone...

I must have missed this part.

I don't envy your situation.

It sounds as if your vision and hers are incompatible. I'd suggest that you should remove yourself from whatever competition for her attention she may have invented.

If this is truly the situation — and no matter how painful it may be for now — I would suggest that you should run and hide. If she calls, you're not home. Ever.

Not next week. Not next year. Not ever.

[jaa1025]

Obviously, you've received a great deal of excellent advice on this thread, Mr. jaa1025, and it appears that "grow a pair" represents the majority opinion.

I'd just like to add that, when you grow your pair, try not to grow them too large. You don't want activities like sitting or biking to cause inordinate discomfort.

FAX

Yeah, there is some very good advice in here..some pretty funny stuff in here as well that I would never do, but it's humorous to say the least. I really appreciate everyones replies...I do feel better and am taking my balls back.

She's a great great girl that I'd definitely see myself with for the rest of my life, but she's confused and doesn't know what she wants...I can't handle that...shouldn't have to. That's highschool crap. If she calls me one day and wants to talk, I'll listen. If she wants to work things out, it will be on my terms and I can tell you that open dating is not one of them.

Again thanks everyone.

[PastorMikH]

If she wasn't ready for not dating other people...then I couldn't do it. Now...I'd take back what we had and work on getting her mind on me...the prize. Well...that was earlier...Now, after reading replies and talking to a few friends...she needs to come back on my terms because this will happen again and I'll get hurt again.



Honestly, if she comes back on your terms, and you do get beyond the dating around, it's only a matter of time before she reverts back. She's not ready to settle down yet. You can work on her emotions and she might do it, but if she isn't ready, she'll grow to resent the chains of relationship and revert back to her past desired behavior. By then you'll have grown even stronger feelings towards her and instead of being bummed out, you'll be devestated.

Let her go. If, like HMc says 6 mos- year from now she comes back and you are still available, then see what happens. Until then, see what developes elsewhere.

[ClevelandBronco]

Which is WHY I am having a hard time with this...I saw a future with the girl that extended past just dating and a relationship. She said the same thing too....it's that shit that confused me. She would standfast by her non relationship talk, but tell me things like that.

You sound like a great guy. Don't approach marriage with a girl who wants "outs."

Marriage isn't poker.

(And all of you guys who love puns and innuendo can just shut up.)

[jaa1025]

I must have missed this part.

I don't envy your situation.

It sounds as if your vision and hers are incompatible. I'd suggest that you should remove yourself from whatever competition for her attention she may have invented.

If this is truly the situation — and no matter how painful it may be for now — I would suggest that you should run and hide. If she calls, you're not home. Ever.

Not next week. Not next year. Not ever.

When we first started dating, it was understandable. I might not have liked it...but I understood it. She said, "whats wrong with me going out with some random guy to get a free meal?" All 5 guys were either married, stood her up or complete douche bags. After about 3-4 weeks, she stopped dating other guys. For the last month and a half, nothing. Then once she said that she loved me and I asked her about it...she freaked out, pulled away and went on a date.

Games are for high schoolers, I'm not playing games to get her attention. Which is why I ended it. I'm way passed the point with her of this. We wanted the same thing(she told me as such) with each other but she said she just wasn't ready yet...

[jaa1025]

You sound like a great guy. Don't approach marriage with a girl who wants "outs."

Marriage isn't poker.

(And all of you guys who love puns and innuendo can just shut up.)

Yeah...definitely. It's not something that I was ready to hop down to Vegas and get hitched ASAP...it's just that I won't date a girl if I can't foresee a future with. If that makes sense. It might be way early to tell, but if there is something about her...I'll end it. No reason to go on. So when I say I saw a future, I mean that loosely...we still had a lot to learn about each other to see if we were IBM compatible. And for that short of time...she fit the bill better than any other woman I've dated.

[DaneMcCloud]

When we first started dating, it was understandable. I might not have liked it...but I understood it. She said, "whats wrong with me going out with some random guy to get a free meal?" All 5 guys were either married, stood her up or complete douche bags. After about 3-4 weeks, she stopped dating other guys. For the last month and a half, nothing. Then once she said that she loved me and I asked her about it...she freaked out, pulled away and went on a date.

Games are for high schoolers, I'm not playing games to get her attention. Which is why I ended it. I'm way passed the point with her of this. We wanted the same thing(she told me as such) with each other but she said she just wasn't ready yet...

JFC.

Dude, turn and run the other way. JFC.

Not only does she sound like a mess, any chick that's dating five different guys, including married men, is absolutely NOT anyone that you want to be with, EVER.

If she's crossing that line now, there's a 99% chance she'll cross it again.

It's just not worth your time.

For the 100th time, MOVE ON.

[ClevelandBronco]

When we first started dating, it was understandable. I might not have liked it...but I understood it. She said, "whats wrong with me going out with some random guy to get a free meal?" All 5 guys were either married, stood her up or complete douche bags. After about 3-4 weeks, she stopped dating other guys. For the last month and a half, nothing. Then once she said that she loved me and I asked her about it...she freaked out, pulled away and went on a date.

Games are for high schoolers, I'm not playing games to get her attention. Which is why I ended it. I'm way passed the point with her of this. We wanted the same thing(she told me as such) with each other but she said she just wasn't ready yet...

Stay strong within your vision of yourself. Sometimes that has to be a man's Alamo.

[jaa1025]

Honestly, if she comes back on your terms, and you do get beyond the dating around, it's only a matter of time before she reverts back. She's not ready to settle down yet. You can work on her emotions and she might do it, but if she isn't ready, she'll grow to resent the chains of relationship and revert back to her past desired behavior. By then you'll have grown even stronger feelings towards her and instead of being bummed out, you'll be devestated.

Let her go. If, like HMc says 6 mos- year from now she comes back and you are still available, then see what happens. Until then, see what developes elsewhere.

Yeah, your probably right there. She's never really dated though. Since highschool, she's been in 3 long (year + relationships) and this last one, they almost got married. The guy was a douche bag and treated her like crap....kicked her out a few times, lied all the time, saw other women. She got fed up and left him in January. She told me that she was scared that I would be a rebound and that's one reason why she didn't want a relationship.

[HMc]

JFC.

Dude, turn and run the other way. JFC.

Not only does she sound like a mess, any chick that's dating five different guys, including married men, is absolutely NOT anyone that you want to be with, EVER.

If she's crossing that line now, there's a 99% chance she'll cross it again.

It's just not worth your time.

For the 100th time, MOVE ON.

Sorry the thread wasn't locked after your first reply Dane.

Perhaps he just wants to talk about it some more? Feel free to piss off out of this thread if you're unhappy with your hollwood worldly advice not being lapped up above everyone else's.

[jaa1025]

JFC.

Dude, turn and run the other way. JFC.

Not only does she sound like a mess, any chick that's dating five different guys, including married men, is absolutely NOT anyone that you want to be with, EVER.

If she's crossing that line now, there's a 99% chance she'll cross it again.

It's just not worth your time.

For the 100th time, MOVE ON.

To her fairness, when they went out on a first and only date...he had told her that they were seperated and getting a divorce. When they were at dinner, it was a different story...she couldn't get out of their fast enough because she doesn't believe in that.

The 5 guys weren't all at once...she'd actually only went out with two once each. The guy above that ended up being married and some guy from Lawrence. He just wanted one thing and was pissed that he didn't get it. The other 3 stood her up or were asses to her on the phone. That was it for the first 3-4 weeks. I have no problem when you first start dating to date other people. And they were 1st dates, so it's not like there was anything going on.

It's 3+ months after that she wants to date that was unacceptable.

[DaneMcCloud]

Sorry the thread wasn't locked after your first reply Dane.

Perhaps he just wants to talk about it some more? Feel free to piss off out of this thread if you're unhappy with your hollwood worldly advice not being lapped up above everyone else's.

You're a real ****ing dick. But what else is new?

You're comments in these threads about my comments are soooooo ****ing insightful. Thanks :shake:

Obsess much?

[DaneMcCloud]

To her fairness, when they went out on a first and only date...he had told her that they were seperated and getting a divorce. When they were at dinner, it was a different story...she couldn't get out of their fast enough because she doesn't believe in that.

The 5 guys weren't all at once...she'd actually only went out with two once each. The guy above that ended up being married and some guy from Lawrence. He just wanted one thing and was pissed that he didn't get it. The other 3 stood her up or were asses to her on the phone. That was it for the first 3-4 weeks. I have no problem when you first start dating to date other people. And they were 1st dates, so it's not like there was anything going on.

It's 3+ months after that she wants to date that was unacceptable.

Dude, I have nothing more to add. You've been given great advice on this thread and it's up to you as to which course of action to take.

Best of luck and I hope it works out to your benefit.

[HMc]

Er, it aint me sending you pm's and neg rep, champion.

[jaa1025]

Sorry the thread wasn't locked after your first reply Dane.

Perhaps he just wants to talk about it some more? Feel free to piss off out of this thread if you're unhappy with your hollwood worldly advice not being lapped up above everyone else's.

Yeah...I needed more than just to hear the words "move on". Thanks. I needed why I should, what I should do, how I should do it etc...the OTHER replies have helped. I know what I need to do...which WAS summed up by move on.

1) Stop initiating contact.
2) if/when she contact me, don't act like a pussy...act like I'm doing ok...busy with "friends" and contact her later.
3) Talk, but take control of the situation. Things CAN'T go back to how they were...my terms.
4) GET OVER IT and MOVE ON. I'm not going to wait for these calls/texts anymore. I'm doing much better since Tuesday and even better with the help from a Chiefs forum believe it or not. I won't let it bother me if she doesn't.

[DaneMcCloud]

Er, it aint me sending you pm's and neg rep, champion.

No, I sent them because you're a butt**** who continues to embarrass himself (not only with poor grammar and spelling) but because you feel the need to criticize me, instead of focusing on the topic at hand.

Put me on ignore if you don't like me or my comments.

Or would that leave you with nothing to add?

[DaneMcCloud]

Yeah...I needed more than just to hear the words "move on". Thanks. I needed why I should, what I should do, how I should do it etc...the OTHER replies have helped. I know what I need to do...which WAS summed up by move on.


If that's all you got from my posts then I've clearly wasted my time.

Good luck to you.

[jaa1025]

I will make sure I come back to this thread if I do hear from her.

[ClevelandBronco]

Honestly, if she comes back on your terms, and you do get beyond the dating around, it's only a matter of time before she reverts back. She's not ready to settle down yet. You can work on her emotions and she might do it, but if she isn't ready, she'll grow to resent the chains of relationship and revert back to her past desired behavior. By then you'll have grown even stronger feelings towards her and instead of being bummed out, you'll be devestated.

Let her go. If, like HMc says 6 mos- year from now she comes back and you are still available, then see what happens. Until then, see what developes elsewhere.

To her fairness, when they went out on a first and only date...he had told her that they were seperated and getting a divorce. When they were at dinner, it was a different story...she couldn't get out of their fast enough because she doesn't believe in that.

The 5 guys weren't all at once...she'd actually only went out with two once each. The guy above that ended up being married and some guy from Lawrence. He just wanted one thing and was pissed that he didn't get it. The other 3 stood her up or were asses to her on the phone. That was it for the first 3-4 weeks. I have no problem when you first start dating to date other people. And they were 1st dates, so it's not like there was anything going on.

It's 3+ months after that she wants to date that was unacceptable.

I've changed my mind entirely. Have a good time with her. I'm sure she'll be a fine life partner for you, because I'm convinced that she brought up all this shit because it perfectly true, and she had your best interests in mind.

The 3+ months is actually very accommodating. You have time to test her blood and wait to hear whether she's toxic.

She's sounding like a better and better prize with each of your posts.

Perhaps I should have caught on before now.

You really had me going...

[DaneMcCloud]

I've changed my mind entirely. Have a good time with her. I'm sure she'll be a fine life partner for you, because I'm convinced that she brought up all this shit because it perfectly true, and she had your best interests in mind.

The 3+ months is actually very accommodating. You have time to test her blood and wait to hear whether she's toxic.

She's sounding like a better and better prize with each of your posts.

Perhaps I should have caught on before now.

You really had me going...

Right on.

[ClevelandBronco]

If that's all you got from my posts then I've clearly wasted my time.

Good luck to you.

It appears to be a joke thread. I bit on it.

[HMc]

No, I sent them because you're butt**** who continues to embarrass himself (not only with poor grammar and spelling) but because you feel the need to criticize me, instead of focusing on the topic at hand.

Put me on ignore if you don't like me or my comments.

Or would that leave you with nothing to add?

Superstar, i've actually offerred more practical advice than you in this thread. I think thats reflected by the post above yours that confirms my suspicion - he wanted more than just JFC DUDE MOVE ON!!!!1111zomg

As for criticizing you, I said I thought what you said was bullshit. I'm sorry for swearing, although you've clearly no problem with that, considering your own prolific use of profanity.

There was also a post of yours that i said i agreed with, FTR.

[jaa1025]

If that's all you got from my posts then I've clearly wasted my time.

Good luck to you.

No you didn't waste your time...the gist of your posts were to move on. You said more than that, but just to summarize move on was easier. Pretty much from the get go you told me such...I just needed other peoples opinions as well. I really appreciate your time and what you told me, was spot on...it's what I need to do.

[ClevelandBronco]

Right on.

Let's go get some pancakes.

[DaneMcCloud]

Superstar, i've actually offerred more practical advice than you in this thread. I think thats reflected by the post above yours that confirms my suspicion - he wanted more than just JFC DUDE MOVE ON!!!!1111zomg

As for criticizing you, I said I thought what you said was bullshit. I'm sorry for swearing, although you've clearly no problem with that, considering your own prolific use of profanity.

There was also a post of yours that i said i agreed with, FTR.

Whatever.

You clearly think you're cool by referring to me as "Superstar" and "hollwood" (whatever the **** that is) in addition to your other inane banter in various threads, directed at me instead of the topic at hand.

That's a great life you've carved out for yourself.

Hope that's working for you.

[Fairplay]

No, the sex was great...amazing...trust me, we had ZERO issues this.


Maybe you thought so.

But with her two minutes wasn't long enough.

[jaa1025]

I've changed my mind entirely. Have a good time with her. I'm sure she'll be a fine life partner for you, because I'm convinced that she brought up all this shit because it perfectly true, and she had your best interests in mind.

The 3+ months is actually very accommodating. You have time to test her blood and wait to hear whether she's toxic.

She's sounding like a better and better prize with each of your posts.

Perhaps I should have caught on before now.

You really had me going...

I'm confused...so now you say she's good for me?

[DaneMcCloud]

Let's go get some pancakes.

Before we head out for pancakes, let's hit the strip club that is currently featuring a 5'8 curly haired chick with long legs and nipple piercings?

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

[HMc]

Whatever.

You clearly think you're cool by referring to me as "Superstar" and "hollwood" (whatever the **** that is) in addition to your other inane banter in various threads, directed at me.

That's a great life you've carved out for yourself.

Hope that's working for you.

Are you not a superstar? I just assumed....

And yes, those two comments are an accurate representation of my entire life thus far.

[jaa1025]

Maybe you thought so.

But with her two minutes wasn't long enough.

No...I'm very confident in bed...I can't and don't care if you believe me honestly.

[Mecca]

You slept with random women....if any of them were hot I'll take a crack at it.

[jaa1025]

You slept with random women....if any of them were hot I'll take a crack at it.

No I didn't sleep with random women...thought about it and was close to, but decided against it because it would probably end a chance at getting back with her.

[Mecca]

No I didn't sleep with random women...thought about it and was close to, but decided against it because it would probably end a chance at getting back with her.

Oh well I'll sleep with random women, I'll make up for you backing out.

[ClevelandBronco]

Before we head out for pancakes, let's hit the strip club that is currently featuring a 5'8 curly haired chick with long legs and nipple piercings?

ROFLROFLROFLROFL

For 21 years I've been interested in only one woman with curly brown hair.

Perhaps we could convince her to wait outside in the limo.

My treat, but the next one's on you.

[DaneMcCloud]

For 21 years I've been interested in only one woman with curly brown hair.

Perhaps we could convince her to wait outside in the limo.

My treat, but the next one's on you.

Deal

[007]

OK, I give up.

[Bill S Preston]

This thread is like the Burrito I had for dinner. It looked great and smelled great, but it tasted like crap.

[Sully]

I gotta tell you, last night when I was just scanning through this thread, I guess I missed some of the finer points.
She still wanted to date other people?
She kissed another guy?
You are not okay with this?



...yeah...
...in that case, walk away until the terms are more along the lines of what you want.

[KCUnited]

Wow, the married guys for a free meal thing changed everything. Sounds like you lucked out in breaking it off with her when you did. This chick sounds like a mess, you can't be CaptainSaveAHo.

[Extra Point]

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[Demonpenz]

damnit dude. Man up. You aren't in africa with flies around your head. Go get a 22 oz of miller and go outside. It's just a furry box not life or death

[Fish]

To her fairness, when they went out on a first and only date...he had told her that they were seperated and getting a divorce. When they were at dinner, it was a different story...she couldn't get out of their fast enough because she doesn't believe in that.

The 5 guys weren't all at once...she'd actually only went out with two once each. The guy above that ended up being married and some guy from Lawrence. He just wanted one thing and was pissed that he didn't get it. The other 3 stood her up or were asses to her on the phone. That was it for the first 3-4 weeks. I have no problem when you first start dating to date other people. And they were 1st dates, so it's not like there was anything going on.

It's 3+ months after that she wants to date that was unacceptable.

You're making excuses to justify her behavior. The fact that she has a "come on, it's just a random date for a free meal" attitude should be all you need to know about where she sees the future of the relationship. You two are on totally different levels.

This will never work. Face it. Swallow the heartache. Move on. Nothing in the world that you can do to change that. And quit worrying about what you may or may not have done "wrong".

Move on.

[Demonpenz]

Dude grab a papst and hang out with me in KC. We can sit by the bug zapper

[jaa1025]

Wow...i'm such an idiot. I'm over it now.

She just called me. And said, "Are you trying to piss me off?"...(Wrote her a letter on nice letter head explaining my feelings in a manly way).

Balls in hand, I demanded her to explain herself.

She basically told me that she lied to me the whole time and she didn't mean "I love you" and all that BS and used me just to have sex.

She told me that my friends warned me not to get involved and I did. My one friend that knows her did advise me to "hit it and quit it" because she was messed up in the head and didn't know what she wanted.

Should have listened to him.

Now, I don't believe what she told me there because I know she had feelings...i'm not naive. But now I question everything else she told me and I think she IS messed up in the head. I wish her on no one. Regardless...I'm done with her. She can kick rocks.

[Demonpenz]

It's only later that you reflect and realize what a fool you were. I remember I used to like this girl. Girl Mcgee was her name. And boy she took me down the wrong road many a times. I almost lost my trans am in the deal

[Joe Seahawk]

Someday you'll look back on this and thank your lucky stars you didn't marry this girl..

good luck.

[sedated]

give her a link to this thread and have her post.

[Sully]

Wow.
Sounds like a classy girl.

[Rausch]

Dude grab a papst and hang out with me in KC. We can sit by the bug zapper

That does sound like a good time. I need to get me one of those...

[Demonpenz]

haha. Jeff city is a good place to hang out by the bug zapper

[Rausch]

Someday you'll look back on this and thank your lucky stars you didn't marry this girl..

good luck.

Right about now's when I'd start feeling real generous. Yup, think it's time to give some blood and...uh...see what happens...

[Amnorix]

It's always a good time to pull this one out. Here's a "let's get back together" letter you can use as a model.


"Dear Susan:

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as
one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
hurt. And this is what my heart says...

"There's no one like you, Susan." I look for you in the eyes and breasts
of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two
weeks ago, I met this girl at Ithaca Bar and brought her home with me. I
don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I
mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a
tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch
being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made
important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect
body mean?

Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see
what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a
better heart than my moderately attractive Susan? I doubt it. And I'd
never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just
growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I
found myself thinking, "why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some ****ling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
incomplete? And then it hit me.

It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Susan, to watch. Do
you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Susan,
I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of
you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met in Upper Side last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what
she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a
few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in
our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's
giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not
hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.
And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we
can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too.
'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Susan ever put the mirror on
the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never
used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Susan, She really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole
anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby
sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Susan.
In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just
wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know, otherwise, can
you let me know where the remote control is?

John"

[FAX]

LMAO

FAX

[KCrockaholic]

Wow...i'm such an idiot. I'm over it now.

She just called me. And said, "Are you trying to piss me off?"...(Wrote her a letter on nice letter head explaining my feelings in a manly way).

Balls in hand, I demanded her to explain herself.

She basically told me that she lied to me the whole time and she didn't mean "I love you" and all that BS and used me just to have sex.

She told me that my friends warned me not to get involved and I did. My one friend that knows her did advise me to "hit it and quit it" because she was messed up in the head and didn't know what she wanted.

Should have listened to him.

Now, I don't believe what she told me there because I know she had feelings...i'm not naive. But now I question everything else she told me and I think she IS messed up in the head. I wish her on no one. Regardless...I'm done with her. She can kick rocks.


wow man, what a hooker! thats pretty messed up, but hey, move on forget about her, atleast you got a few bangs in, just think of her as practice now..keep practicing until you find the right girl who wont shit on your feelings.

[vailpass]

No...Met her in February...started dating/sleeping together very quickly...we hung out pretty much every day...when we didn't, she would call/text me.

The first month alone she texted me over 1000 times...kind of clingy, but I surprisingly enjoyed talking with her that much.

You've only known this chick for 3 months and she has you crying on an internet board?
Stiffen up man.
Maybe Demonpenz can write you a broken-heart bridge song.
Good luck dude, believe me when I tell you it will be just fine and sooner than you think.

[RustShack]

Just show up at her apartment right now and straight up tell her you want to **** her.

[B_Ambuehl]

She sounds almost borderline. Her problem is she doesn't feel like she deserves anyone. So you love her and give her attention, she doesn't feel she deserves it so off she goes...but as soon as you distance yourself from her she'll be coming back wondering where your attention went.

[Brock]

She sounds almost borderline. Her problem is she doesn't feel like she deserves anyone. So you love her and give her attention, she doesn't feel she deserves it so off she goes...but as soon as you distance yourself from her she'll be coming back wondering where your attention went.

Thank you, Dr. Phil.

[KCUnited]

Dude, never write the letter.

[Skip Towne]

What's wrong with her that makes all these other guys treat her shitty?

[kstater]

Shyguyums?

[DaneMcCloud]

What's wrong with her that makes all these other guys treat her shitty?

Daddy issues.

Rule #1 of dating: If a young girl doesn't have a good relationship with her father, she'll never be able to have a good relationship with you.

[Mr. Plow]

Has "find a good picnic table" been mentioned yet?

[Mr. Plow]

It's always a good time to pull this one out. Here's a "let's get back together" letter you can use as a model.


"Dear Susan:

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as
one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
hurt. And this is what my heart says...

"There's no one like you, Susan." I look for you in the eyes and breasts
of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two
weeks ago, I met this girl at Ithaca Bar and brought her home with me. I
don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I
mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a
tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch
being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made
important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect
body mean?

Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see
what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a
better heart than my moderately attractive Susan? I doubt it. And I'd
never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just
growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I
found myself thinking, "why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some ****ling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
incomplete? And then it hit me.

It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Susan, to watch. Do
you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Susan,
I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of
you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met in Upper Side last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what
she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a
few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in
our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's
giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not
hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.
And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we
can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too.
'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Susan ever put the mirror on
the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never
used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Susan, She really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole
anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby
sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Susan.
In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just
wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know, otherwise, can
you let me know where the remote control is?

John"



ROFL

[Mr. Plow]

Also, has anyone gotten this girls phone # yet?

[blueballs]

everyone knows this girl
there is atleast one in every high school

[jaa1025]

So...bringing back this topic. I went to her house to kind of mend things with us. Even if we don't get back together, I have a hard time just being a douche bag to her and don't like leaving like that. We sat there and talked about things for about 3 hours. She said she needed some time to cool off and she would call me.

She gave me a hug and she almost wouldn't let go...I kissed her forehead and left. On a side note...when I sat down to talk...I moved closer. Her boxer, that LOVED me before...growled at me and wouldn't stop staring at me. That was REALLY weird.

[crazycoffey]

I just can't sit and sulk over her forever. If she doesn't want anything to do with me...which I wish if that were true...she would tell me to kick rocks. If she does but needs space/time...then just tell me. I would be alright with that. Do I want to? No...not at all. I want nothing more than to make things work with her.


No...I embraced it for the first time in a long time. I wanted to move forward with her...she has commitment issues, not me. (ass backwards). She developed feelings for me and got scared...started pulling away. I remember thinking 2 weeks ago when I started to notice it...I chose the wrong thing which was to give her space. I stopped calling her every day. I started turning off my phone when I was sleeping and missed a few of her calls. I stopped pressing because I thought that's what she wanted: Space.


DUDE! I'M SO CLOSE TO STARTING A THREAD THAT SAYS ALMOST THE EXACT SAME THING!!!!!

OK,

[crazycoffey]

No...I embraced it for the first time in a long time. I wanted to move forward with her...she has commitment issues, not me. (ass backwards). She developed feelings for me and got scared...started pulling away. I remember thinking 2 weeks ago when I started to notice it...I chose the wrong thing which was to give her space. I stopped calling her every day. I started turning off my phone when I was sleeping and missed a few of her calls. I stopped pressing because I thought that's what she wanted: Space.



I just can't sit and sulk over her forever. If she doesn't want anything to do with me...which I wish if that were true...she would tell me to kick rocks. If she does but needs space/time...then just tell me. I would be alright with that. Do I want to? No...not at all. I want nothing more than to make things work with her.


DUDE, I ALMOST STARTED A THREAD THAT SAID THE SAME THINGS YOU JUST SAID ABOVE.....

Really, not kidding. Sorry Chip for not sharing tonight and really I think the whole idea of a "possible deployment" scared her ALOT!!! I told Warpath that I was very close to being deployed (in Aug) and just last week got the news that I won't (at least for now). She's great in bed, 11 years younger than me, bought me a PS3 for my B-day. But suddenly went cold. Like you said in your posts. I am trying to be supportive but I don't ****ing understand whys and whats, other than the above reasons.

suddenly she's gone cold. and if it's me, I would like for her to tell me. I have really NO BUSINESS feeling this way, I just got a divorce in Jan. I didn't plan this and it SUCKS!!!!!

But what can we do. I don't play games, I share how I feel, I will be available, but if the girls don't want to be with us, we got to do our thing. That's the bottom line. I just hate that I am so new to being back in the game and I found someone that makes me feel awesome and then all of a sudden it changed.....

good for what you've been doing, sound like a stand up guy. I'm right behind you in my situation and want to follow the same path. **** 'em if they don't want us....

[HMc]

UNLESS YOU'VE FOUND SOMEONE YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY YOU NEED TO PLAY GAMES

[jaa1025]

DUDE, I ALMOST STARTED A THREAD THAT SAID THE SAME THINGS YOU JUST SAID ABOVE.....

Really, not kidding. Sorry Chip for not sharing tonight and really I think the whole idea of a "possible deployment" scared her ALOT!!! I told Warpath that I was very close to being deployed (in Aug) and just last week got the news that I won't (at least for now). She's great in bed, 11 years younger than me, bought me a PS3 for my B-day. But suddenly went cold. Like you said in your posts. I am trying to be supportive but I don't ****ing understand whys and whats, other than the above reasons.

suddenly she's gone cold. and if it's me, I would like for her to tell me. I have really NO BUSINESS feeling this way, I just got a divorce in Jan. I didn't plan this and it SUCKS!!!!!

But what can we do. I don't play games, I share how I feel, I will be available, but if the girls don't want to be with us, we got to do our thing. That's the bottom line. I just hate that I am so new to being back in the game and I found someone that makes me feel awesome and then all of a sudden it changed.....

good for what you've been doing, sound like a stand up guy. I'm right behind you in my situation and want to follow the same path. **** 'em if they don't want us....

Yeah...I was actually planning on joining the reserves with the intention of wanting to deploy...until I met her. I've been back and forth on it...what I want to do, but with things going so good...I don't/didn't want to leave to miss out on someone special.

It sucks dude...it was the worst feeling I've ever felt. Even when I was "in love" in high school/after which I dated for 2 years...it didn't hurt like this did. Which after only 3 months...and the other relationships/girls that I dated before...it was really odd.

I'm still holding out hope that things will somehow work out, even as friends...I want more with her, but I can't go back to what we were. Just frustrating the hell out of me waiting...and waiting till she gets a few things "figured out".

I do feel a lot better now though...doesn't hurt as much. I've been talking to a few girls and it does make me feel better...It's been the easiest way for me to move forward.

[jaa1025]

UNLESS YOU'VE FOUND SOMEONE YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY YOU NEED TO PLAY GAMES

I'm not into games...at least with someone I care about. What's the point once you are passed that?

[crazycoffey]

.... Even when I was "in love" in high school/after which I dated for 2 years...it didn't hurt like this did. Which after only 3 months....


Love hurts [/nazareth]

[alanm]

Without going thru 5 pages of replies I can only surmise that someone has said the obvious.
Grow a pair and move on. She's already f*cking someone else.

[siberian khatru]

I'm with Dane on this.

But then, I always had a pretty low tolerance for girls who were immature and/or confused about what they wanted. I didn't play games. I pretty much knew what I wanted, and if the girl wasn't on the same page then I just moved on.

[crazycoffey]

It's always a good time to pull this one out. Here's a "let's get back together" letter you can use as a model.


"Dear Susan:

I know the counsellor said we shouldn't contact each other during our
"cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I
swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little
boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make
contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I
guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot
of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about
looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as
one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our
hurt. And this is what my heart says...

"There's no one like you, Susan." I look for you in the eyes and breasts
of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close. Two
weeks ago, I met this girl at Ithaca Bar and brought her home with me. I
don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my
desperation. She was young, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies
that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I
mean, just a perfect body. Jugs you wouldn't believe and an ass like a
tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch
being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made
important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect
body mean?

Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see
what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a
better heart than my moderately attractive Susan? I doubt it. And I'd
never really thought of that before. I Don't know, maybe I'm just
growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I
found myself thinking, "why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't
just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but
something else. Some ****ling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so
incomplete? And then it hit me.

It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Susan, to watch. Do
you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Susan,
I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of
you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met in Upper Side last year?
Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she
figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what
she meant till later, but that's not the real story. Anyway, we had a
few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're banging away in
our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's
giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not
hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us.
And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's
old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we
can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too.
'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Susan ever put the mirror on
the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never
used it as a sex aid."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I
mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on
her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this painful time.

She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in
general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Susan, She really
is. So we're drinking in a hot bath and talking about happier times.
Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is
think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just
about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole
anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured
you about trying it and how that probably fuelled some of the bitterness
between us.

But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby
sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Susan.
In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just
wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know, otherwise, can
you let me know where the remote control is?

John"



Absolutely hysterical....LMAO

[AndChiefs]

16 pages and still no pics.

[jaa1025]

Hahaha....

Chilling at home...watching Chuck and BAM! Look what comes across the screen of my phone. The one that broke my heart.

Funny thing happened...she had just got dumped by this smuck who is 10 years older than her and and alcoholic...I kind of laughed to myself. Everyone said she would come back....I started having doubts but then it happened.

I'm over her now obviously...if you read through these pitiful threads...I was pretty torn up. I pretty much know what I should do here...and my friends would probably castrate me if they knew I was talking to her, but I could have a little fun ;-)

[kcchiefsus]

Hahaha....

Chilling at home...watching Chuck and BAM! Look what comes across the screen of my phone. The one that broke my heart.

Funny thing happened...she had just got dumped by this smuck who is 10 years older than her and and alcoholic...I kind of laughed to myself. Everyone said she would come back....I started having doubts but then it happened.

I'm over her now obviously...if you read through these pitiful threads...I was pretty torn up. I pretty much know what I should do here...and my friends would probably castrate me if they knew I was talking to her, but I could have a little fun ;-)

Good for you man. I was dumped by my fiance/girlfriend of 6 years back in July and I was pretty torn up about it for a few months. Now i'm glad it happened, fuck her. I know it's hard to move on but it get's better. Now I wouldn't take her back if she wanted to.

[blueballs]

well over half the population has a cooter between their legs
and you're crying over one

[artstill]

normally I just lurk, but I had to respond to this one....I went thru something similar to what your going thru except multiply her behaviors times 10, I also was involved with mine for 3 years....I think each of us at one time finds a woman that hits us like this girl did you. MY experience caused me to do a lot of research into the behaviors that you mentioned, I am no proffesional but it sounds like your girl may be suffering from a condition called borderline personality disorder...you can look it up on the web....anyway best of luck but based upon the info you provided cutting it off cold and moving on would probably be your best move.....time does heal all wounds, I know this without a doubt as it took me a full year to recover from my episode.

[stumppy]

I am no proffesional but it sounds like your girl may be suffering from a condition called borderline personality disorder...you can look it up on the web.....



When you get older you'll figure out every damn one of them suffers from borderline personality disorder.

[Abba-Dabba]

Fantastic. In another 3 months we will get another Broken Heart thread.

[cookster50]

When you get older you'll figure out every damn one of them suffers from borderline personality disorder.

Nothing borderline about it bud!

[King_Chief_Fan]

with her issues, you are broken hearted.
You are broken brained.

[beach tribe]

Guess what, you WERE the rebound. She does want a relationship, just not with you. Truth is, the truth hurts wont you agree.

I've bee there. It sucks. I'm sorry.

[Red Beans]

Fuck it, literally or figuratively and find someone else.

[CoMoChief]

Kick back, listen to some Bolton.

He will solve all of your problems.

[Midnight_Vulture]

WOw I cant believe how pathetic some dudes are. No offense but being clingy and needy is a huge turn off to chicks.

Glad I am not like that.

[Iowanian]

My favorite part is going to be after he lets this roach crawl back in, he'll F her, they'll cuddle, he'll fall back in love....and a month from now, while he's at home noticing the blisters welting up on the head of his hang down part, she'll be bent over the trunk of an 91 Skylark with some guy she met at the Taco Bell drive through.

Your only real move is "thanks but no thanks".

[CoMoChief]

WOw I cant believe how pathetic some dudes are. No offense but being clingy and needy is a huge turn off to chicks.

Glad I am not like that.

ROFL

[Skip Towne]

My favorite part is going to be after he lets this roach crawl back in, he'll F her, they'll cuddle, he'll fall back in love....and a month from now, while he's at home noticing the blisters welting up on the head of his hang down part, she'll be bent over the trunk of an 91 Skylark with some guy she met at the Taco Bell drive through.

Your only real move is "thanks but no thanks".
'91 Skylark.........:LOL: