*** OFFICIAL Sex Milestones Thread ***

[SPATCH]

all this talk about red wings/rainbow kisses/butt plugs got me to thinkin...

what are some sex milestones that you have hit in your lifetime? you know, something that earned you some bragging rights to your friends...

for example, having sex with a MILF/friend's mom, a squirter, or having a threesome, having sex in a weird place, etc. that sorta shit.

begin. and include the your age at the time of your zany sexploits

*the honor system applies here

[blueballs]

some rules may need to be set in place
does a threesome count if a mouth was intered
in one -but not the vagina or butt

[SPATCH]

I'll start.

20 years old- I had sex with a girl with fake boobs... and it was everything i had dreamed of :)

[SPATCH]

some rules may need to be set in place
does a threesome count if a mouth was intered
in one -but not the vagina or butt

certainly

[Hammock Parties]

I'll start. I have had sex with a girl with fake boobs... and it was everything i had dreamed of :)

Details, please.

I submit that participants in this thread should include ages next to their milestones.

[SPATCH]

Details, please.

I submit that participants in this thread should include ages next to their milestones.

good idea...

[teedubya]

The only reason I don't hate Dallas TX, is I had a 3sum there. One chick was about a 7.5 the other was about a 6.5.

7.5 + 6.5 = 14!!

FTW!

ANd I didnt even have a motorcycle.

[teedubya]

Age 24. 11 years ago.

[blueballs]

please don't let ratings count

[SPATCH]

Details, please.

I submit that participants in this thread should include ages next to their milestones.

regarding fake boobs... they are amazing. the girl i was with had full D-sized boobs and they were beautiful... they don't move around a lot, but they are still very entertaining

[Midnight_Vulture]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa. I've been with numerous women that have fake tatas...nothing special.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

[CoMoChief]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks at the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

ALLRIGHT!!!!! THIS GUY'S BACK!!!!!!!!!

There hasn't been anything funny on tv all evening man, I'd just rather read your posts.

You're the biggest douchebag and it makes me laugh harder than anything.............kinda like the new haircut guy on YouTube.

[SPATCH]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa. I've been with numerous women that have fake tatas...nothing special.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

ROFL i had a thought right after i made this thread that you might show up..

[wutamess]

17-24ish: ex was a fake boob multi orgasmic squirter. (seriously)

19: Quickest from first meeting to in the sack: 15 minutes.

19: Once got blueballs trying to get some from this chick that wouldn't put out all night.
Always thought it was just a saying until my stomach and nutts were hurting as if they'd been kicked by Donkey.

[Marcellus]

Lets see. In order.

18 years old - Did a mom and daughter. Not at the same time (about 6 months apart) and they were both good looking.Daughter was 18, mom was 36. That was crazy. :D

20 -Did 2 girls the same day. I know I was a whore but I was 20. That has happened since then several times but after the first time, not a milestone.
Not interested in doing it again unless at the same time.

36 - A hot 21 year old stripper. Dated her for a while. Fun but too much hassle for me. (rebound fun time after a long relationship ended):drool:

36 - First set of fake boobs. :thumb: Ironically enough stripper listed above just got new boobs and text me today.

Thats allthat sticks out right now.

[SPATCH]

17-24ish: ex was a fake boob multi orgasmic squirter. (seriously)

ROFL YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!

was she one of those ones you see in porno's that gushes like a goddamn garden hose with your thumb over the nozzle???

[wutamess]

ROFL YEEEESSSSSS!!!!!

was she one of those ones you see in porno's that gushes like a goddamn garden hose with your thumb over the nozzle???

Naw... at first I was like... "Did you pee on me"?. Then I told her to do it again and it came out only in squirts. Not streams.

Made her cum 45 times in one session. She'd orgasm at the drop of a dime. I sure as hell miss that. nympho sex.

Now I'm married with kids and it's like an oasis.

[blueballs]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa. I've been with numerous women that have fake tatas...nothing special.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

well 11 was all in one night
****ed the first 9 -stuck your cock in the scorching motorcyle muffler
than ****ed the other 2

[BWillie]

I was in Chicago one time in some fancy ass hotel at a party. My friends from college brought me and I really didn't know any of his friends, but to make a long story short there ended up to be two beds in the hotel room we stayed in. And a hot girly was on mine. My bud was getting busy in the other bed, and she was laying in my bed and I had just came in the room. And I literally go, "I feel kinda left out don't you" and we didn't talk until after I banged her. So saying only 7 words before getting laid is my record. Now only if I could find a deaf chick

[Hammock Parties]

This thread rules.

I want to know more about dating a chick twice your age.

[SPATCH]

17 years old- had inter-racial sex... it was a beautiful thing (ebony and ivory in perfect harmony)

[Nzoner]

Don't know about a milestone but while in high school I got a BJ from a married woman who wanted to know if it was okay if she put ice cubes in her mouth. :eek: WOW!!

[Huffman83]

I never thought of myself as such a man whore....but now I'm kind of wondering what the hell was wrong w/ me after I thought about this for some time. But if there was something unique and interesting about certain girls I had sex w/. I usually had sex for an extended period of time. Was a relationship involved?...sometimes. But not usually.

16 years old. 2 girls in one day (not at the same time) One was literally on the way out while the other was on the way in. One was a **** buddy who we basically tried everything on. Sex in public places...etc. Other was a high school girlfriend who I basically did everything to. I think they only thing left would have been for her to have been gang ****ed....which may have been a something that she may have done later.


19 years old. Married woman.....now usually I wouldn't be proud of this. But I didn't find out until I was 22 that she was married. But she was 21 at the time, and didn't think of that being possible! I just thought she had a dorky roomate who had left town that weekend. Color me shocked!

20 years old. Jewish girls do love to give head. Noted and proven.

20 years old again. Red head (I'm red headed too, but still...they **** until you're hamburger.)

22 years old. Squirter....laughed my ass off.

23 yoa. ****ed a girl who actually got off on being ****ed in the ass.

I'm 25 now. Married at 24...my only regret......not ****ing a black chick. Fooled around w/ a deaf Indian (dot not feather.) from England but I've always just been around white chicks.

[Buehler445]

Don't know about a milestone but while in high school I got a BJ from a married woman who wanted to know if it was okay if she put ice cubes in her mouth. :eek: WOW!!

Nice. May have to have the little lady try that.

[BigRock]

The way I figure it, any student can bang one of these flaky blonde 25 year old teachers nowadays. But when I was in high school, I went to the top of the scholastic food chain: one of the secretaries in the school office.

Oh yes. She was in her early 40's, way cute, kinda short, big boobies. Her son also went to the school, but he wasn't really a friend of mine. I worked in the school office one period a day, and she liked me, and she was going through a divorce. I think she just wanted to know if she still had it.

SHE DID.

(Extra bonus: many of my tardies and skips weren't counted against me)

[Huffman83]

Another regret...As a 911 dispatcher I had a good chance....hottie police officer. Had my chance...but was w/ the girl that became my wife.

Please tell me someone has given a helping hand to our ladies in blue.

[88TG88]

The way I figure it, any student can bang one of these flaky blonde 25 year old teachers nowadays. But when I was in high school, I went to the top of the scholastic food chain: one of the secretaries in the school office.

Oh yes. She was in her early 40's, way cute, kinda short, big boobies. Her son also went to the school, but he wasn't really a friend of mine. I worked in the school office one period a day, and she liked me, and she was going through a divorce. I think she just wanted to know if she still had it.

SHE DID.

(Extra bonus: many of my tardies and skips weren't counted against me)
nice

instant rep

[Hammock Parties]

I had no idea we had so many studs here.

[SPchief]

kind of lame but, moved into a new place from one an apartment. My roomate had moved his bed in and I hadn't yet. Was over there with some girl, didn't have a place to screw, so we just did it in his bed.

[Huffman83]

I had no idea we had so many studs here.

It is the internet....

[Hammock Parties]

It is the internet....

It's amazing how I automatically assume no one here ever lies, unless they start talking shit like laptopstealerbike****er83.

[Huffman83]

Even if I had ****ed a lot of women and even some of them at the same time...I wouldn't believe it!

[Huffman83]

"I have no reason to lie to you....**** a lot of women!"

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/061201/163429__arkin_l.jpg

[RJ]

I had no idea we had so many studs here.



Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happen to me. I'm an average looking guy but I'm hung like a mule.......

[SPATCH]

here's one i'm pretty proud of...

20 years old- a couple of friends and i won a super bowl party at HOOTERS in a raffle and, of course, our waitress for the evening was HOT.

i had been to HOOTERS a couple of times before and i was well aware of the whole "waitress flirting hard for tips" thing. i didn't care. i used a little bit of my "asshole" method of picking up hot girls, and all of the sudden she was coming to my side of the table and talking to me A LOT...

then, i was texting on my phone and she came up and grabbed it out of my hands... she put her number in my phone and then she said, and i quote, "you better ****ing call me after work."

so i did... and we met up for a night-cap.

dated her for a while after that, too

[Huffman83]

Any one night stand stories that involved a missing kidney?

[Nzoner]

Heh that part about having sex in weird places got me to thinking and holy shit I never realized just how many places I've done things other than bed or a house.

Front lawn of old public school(it was 3 a.m. and she was my age you sick fockers)

Retaining wall outside of my old high school math class(again in the early morning hours)

Outside balcony of a Daytona Beach Hotel

Public swimming pool full of people

Back of a Trailways bus

Amtrack train going form California to KC

Indoor movie theatre during a school field trip

[Hammock Parties]

here's one i'm pretty proud of...

20 years old- a couple of friends and i won a super bowl party at HOOTERS in a raffle and, of course, our waitress for the evening was HOT.

i had been to HOOTERS a couple of times before and i was well aware of the whole "waitress flirting hard for tips" thing. i didn't care. i used a little bit of my "asshole" method of picking up hot girls, and all of the sudden she was coming to my side of the table and talking to me A LOT...

then, i was texting on my phone and she came up and grabbed it out of my hands... she put her number in my phone and then she said, and i quote, "you better ****ing call me after work."

so i did... and we met up for a night-cap.

dated her for a while after that, too

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I would be so turned on.

You must be hot or something, right?

[Nzoner]

You must be hot or something, right?


Oh hell meatpeeker alert :doh!:

[Huffman83]

Front lawn of old public school(it was 3 a.m. and she was my age you sick fockers)

I got one close...17 years old. Playground of old elementary school...late night of course.

[SPATCH]

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I would be so turned on.

You must be hot or something, right?

i know... i was really surprised when it happened.. any indicators she was giving before that i just chalked up to being the whole "tips" thing... the look on my friend's faces after that was priceless, though

[wutamess]

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I would be so turned on.

You must be hot or something, right?


http://i30.tinypic.com/25rpe8h.jpg

[wutamess]

Had relations less than 10 feet away from my parents on the bass boat while night fishing.

screwed about damn near everywhere... movies, park, lake, in lake, in bahamas jacuzzi while people were in it, bathrooms in high school, HS parking lot car right before classes were to start, church parking lot.

[J Diddy]

I'm a virgin

alas I have no bike

[DaneMcCloud]

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.

You, sir, are an amatuer.

[Hammock Parties]

At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.



Wow. He must have been hot or something, right?

[DaneMcCloud]

Wow. He must have been hot or something, right?

Clay, I can't tell if you're joking or serious sometimes.

[QuikSsurfer]

I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.

You, sir, are an amatuer.

I thought I were doing good. That is ridiculous.

[Hammock Parties]

Clay, I can't tell if you're joking or serious sometimes.

I'm halfway joking. I'm curious as to what kind of dude would attempt that. I'm way too lazy to make such an effort.

[DaneMcCloud]

I thought I were doing good. That is ridiculous.


Thanks. :D

Those days are past me now but I do have plenty of stories. :evil:

And no diseases, either.

[QuikSsurfer]

Thanks. :D

Those days are past me now but I do have plenty of stories. :evil:

And no diseases, either.

None now anyways ;)

[DaneMcCloud]

I'm halfway joking. I'm curious as to what kind of dude would attempt that. I'm way too lazy to make such an effort.

Here's the deal, Dude.

Having a "Big" personality is much more attractive (especially at a bar) and will get you laid 10x as many times as saying "I've got a big cock" or "Check out my buff bod".

If you have a cool look and you're extremely personable and can walk into a bar with confidence, immediately start talking to everyone (guys and girls included), buy shots, make friends then BAM!

Chicks are everywhere.

They want to be a part of the "show" and hang out. I'm not talking about being a douchebag, I'm talking about being a fun guy, partying and so forth. In all likelihood, you're going to hook up with someone. Just be cool (I think that people don't know what that means). Cool is cool.

It's up to you whether she's a 4 or an 8 (10's don't hang out in bars).

It's not that difficult. Chicks wanna get laid, too.

[DaneMcCloud]

None now anyways ;)

Trust me, Bro. I've been with my wife for 12 years and we just had a baby.

I've had a clean bill of health my entire life.

Condoms suck but they are a must. Whether you're drunk or not.

Make the chick put it on you or no go :evil:

[SPchief]

I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.

You, sir, are an amatuer.

so you banged 87 girls by the time you were 21 and 870 by the time you got married at 30?

[DaneMcCloud]

so you 87 girls by the time you were 21 and 870 by the time you got married at 30?

Either my math is incorrect or, hell, I don't know.

I lost count somewhere around 300.

FTR, it's pretty easy to keep track of when you're out on the road, touring in bands, so forth.

Well, at least an approximation.

[SPchief]

Either my math is incorrect or, hell, I don't know.

I lost count somewhere around 300.

FTR, it's pretty easy to keep track of when you're out on the road, touring in bands, so forth.

Well, at least an approximation.

So pretty much, you're full of shit

[DaneMcCloud]

So pretty much, you're full of shit

Ah, no.

You know, SPChief, you're a real, stupid, mother****ing cocksucker.

I pity your stupid, pathetic existence.

As I'm sure does everyone else in your "circle".

Have fun jerkin' yourself tonight.

[Pushead2]

I go on tour a lot and I don't have a clue what the number is honestly, its not a ton of girls but enough.

My milestone is banging a chick in the a**, then after sex proceeded to dildo herself with a baby cactus... Weird but true...

[SPATCH]

I go on tour a lot and I don't have a clue what the number is honestly, its not a ton of girls but enough.

My milestone is banging a chick in the a**, then after sex proceeded to dildo herself with a baby cactus... Weird and painful...

FYP

[DaneMcCloud]

I go on tour a lot and I don't have a clue what the number is honestly, its not a ton of girls but enough.

My milestone is banging a chick in the a**, then after sex proceeded to dildo herself with a baby cactus... Weird but true...

I'm not surprised...

Was it the Glow-in-the-Dark variety?

:p

[SPchief]

Ah, no.

You know, SPChief, you're a real, stupid, mother****ing cocksucker.

I pity your stupid, pathetic existence.

As I'm sure does everyone else in your "circle".

Have fun jerkin' yourself tonight.



My "circle" :spock:



Keep being classy Dane

[DaneMcCloud]

My "circle" :spock:



Keep being classy Dane

Yeah.

That's your only reply to the stupid bullshit you post.

I hope that you feel good about being my stalker.

Every time I post at night, there's Mr. SPchief (what a lame ****ing name), trying to discredit everything I post.

Stalker.

[SPchief]

I post in the thread before you, and yet I'm stalking you? :spock:


Again, keep being classy dane

[DaneMcCloud]

I post in the thread before you, and yet I'm stalking you? :spock:


Again, keep being classy dane

No, you're always challenging everything I say.

Sounds to me like an inferiority complex, but call it what you will.

I'm sure you'll spin around to your "favor".

Good luck with that.

[Boris The Great]

Not to pick, but if people had to pick out which posts here are displaying an inferiority complex, most would probably go with ones saying WHOA LOOK HOW MANY CHICKS I F**KED.

[ChiefsCountry]

All I can say is I have had all hot ones and one regret. Damn alcohol. Nothing too cool or fancy and cant say I have been in the 300s or 100's or 10's, thats my roommates. Could have lots more but really didnt want to lower my standards or do something I would regret later mainly bc lots of times I was the sober DD and that would be kind of wrong IMO.

[angelo]

12 yrs old
My sister's best friend crawled into my bed in her bra and panties. It was the best night of my young life.
13 yrs old
My mom's friend who was staying with us after a messy divorce
14-15
Neighbor lady who was recently divorced
16-17
First interracial girlfriend (Joy)
sex in a confessional booth
sex in a dressing room
first american indian and gusher
18
First threesome initially not by choice but then what the heck.
2nd inter racial relationship
19-23
Joined the mile high club(Atlanta to Baltimore) with a woman who the next day took her final vow to become a nun(that was weird)
work as a bouncer/ bartender in westport
Public places
sears tower
cubs games
The shadow bar
gap on the plaza
blow job while driving thru the plaza
glass elevator in the hyatt
movie theater
hand job in the middle of houston's restaurant

also slept with one girl and all her friends in one week
pulled a hat trick in 24 hours

24
started dating a bisexual
many threesomes'
if it matters of mixed race's
Had sex on my Boss's desk

26-27
quickest lay (walked into a bar, saw a girl that I had my eye on and asked what she was doing. She stated: lookin for a piece of ass, I countered with are you done lookin. She looked me up and down and said ok.
I slept with my College Professor girlfriend while he was pass out on the couch in the same room.
I slept with another Prof's Daughter

28
slept with Joy's little sister (first interracial girlfriend)
slept with my employee's finance without knowing it
hit on a girl at Barnes&Noble that I had slept with when I was 26
she was angry and engaged ( I still slept with her the weekend before her wedding)

29
Best gusher ever. I had to by rubber sheets she would literally soak the bed.
especially if we did anal

30
Started dating an 18 year old she was stunning and smart 32 dd 28 32
5'6 105
and damn near killed me as close to tantric 3-4 hour sessions
I still get quivers thinking about her ( she moved away to school)

I have slept with
Chinese Mexican
Korean Brazilian
Japanese Honduran
Vietnamese Peruvian
Thai Argentinian
Laotion African
Filipino Russian
Australian Greek
East Indian Jewish
Iranian Italian
Egyptian French
Russian Spanish
French English
Irish

The truth of the matter is I have forgotten a lot of the experience's. I am sure that there are plenty more. I spent most of my late teens and twenties in a alcohol and drug induced fog. I always used protection.
31
met my wife and have never been happier

I have to agree with Dane. It has nothing to do with looks or the size of your junk/ wallet. I do not have any of those.

It is all about personality

I am not proud of what I have done nor am I ashamed.
I never lied or deceived any of these women.
Some hate me.
Some have fond memories of me.

I think the interesting thing is if a women posted something like this she would be a slut.

Ang

p.s. I am not good with punctuation

[blueballs]

The internet does not appear to be a good modem
of translating ones personality to the printed word
or the trees are too thick to see the forest clearly

[Baby Lee]

7 - while riding my bike in the street, a neighborhood girl advises her parents aren't home

15 - a few weeks before school started, went to a uber-nerdy 'mock trial' camp at Washburn. Of all things, there was a cheerleader camp going on at the same time. Effed the hottest girl who'd given me the time of day to that point in my life.

16 - riding the bus home on a band trip, while pretending to doze off, a redhead and I ever so casually work our hands up respective thighs, 'til I'm flicking her bean and she's beating my meat. Not a word said afterwords, and her boyfriend picked her up when we got back to school.

19 - not really a highlight, but got effed up [on another band trip, now in college] chugging vodka with abandon. Somehow managed to eff a not too attractive girl AFTER puking in her hotel bathroom

24 - me and a buddy chatted a pair of strippers. apparently our game was good enough that that advised us to wait around until their shift was over. took them out to Fast Eddie's, then to his house where we paired off.

That's about it for the outlandish stuff.

[RockChalk]

17 - sex with a girl I had just met on my parents pool table while they were home. one of my favorites because I had just met her 2 days prior, she came over one evening and while we were playing pool she looked at me and said "are we going to keep playing pool or are you finally going to f*ck me?"

17 - blowjob in my car outside my gf's house while her father was working the garage. he was a real asshole and probably would have killed me had he known

20 - shortest time meeting someone and having sex...about 45 minutes. best part about this is that (although in hindsight it was a dickhead move) I woke her up and made her go home because the Chiefs season opener (vs Cleveland, helmet toss game) was that day

21 - first interracial and anal, all with same girl. actually still sleeping with her to this day. same girl was also a hooters waitress about 3 years ago

all in all, nothing too crazy really. i haven't slept with 100's of girls but I've had a pretty good run to this point in my life. i don't have a bike

[RockChalk]

Here's the deal, Dude.

Having a "Big" personality is much more attractive (especially at a bar) and will get you laid 10x as many times as saying "I've got a big cock" or "Check out my buff bod".

If you have a cool look and you're extremely personable and can walk into a bar with confidence, immediately start talking to everyone (guys and girls included), buy shots, make friends then BAM!

Chicks are everywhere.

They want to be a part of the "show" and hang out. I'm not talking about being a douchebag, I'm talking about being a fun guy, partying and so forth. In all likelihood, you're going to hook up with someone. Just be cool (I think that people don't know what that means). Cool is cool.

It's up to you whether she's a 4 or an 8 (10's don't hang out in bars).

It's not that difficult. Chicks wanna get laid, too.

I can verify this as 100% accurate. One of my best friends is exactly this way and I just tag along for the ride :D

[Midnight_Vulture]

I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.

You, sir, are an amatuer.

Sorry dude but I laugh at YOUR imcompetence. Sorry but fat chicks dont count.ROFL

I only bang girls that are 8s or higher.

Plus it sounds like you have the hots for your friend. Something you want to "come out " and tell us dude?ROFL

[Midnight_Vulture]

ALso my stats should soar once I go to Australia next summer for "business" haha. I hear the ratio to guys and girls is insanely in the guys' favor.

[Baby Lee]

Sorry dude but I laugh at YOUR imcompetence. Sorry but fat chicks dont count.ROFL

I only bang girls that are 8s or higher.

Plus it sounds like you have the hots for your friend. Something you want to "come out " and tell us dude?ROFL

http://seoblackhat.com/images/its-a-trap-admiral-akbar.jpg
Don't engage, Dane!!! He wants your wedding veggies.

[seclark]

ALso my stats should soar once I go to Australia next summer for "business" haha.

oh $hit...hide the dingos.
sec

[kindra68]

Wonder were all the women are?
I keed I keed

and to Midnight..Fat chicks DO count. Know why? Cause they give the best head.
(cause they're always hungery! yes i can say this cause I'm a fat chick)

[Adept Havelock]

What is this "sex" you speak of? :p

[Rooster]

ALso my stats should soar once I go to Australia next summer for "business" haha. I hear the ratio to guys and girls is insanely in the guys' favor.

Why would an entire continent have such a skewed ratio than the rest of the world? You aren't counting transgenders again are you?

[RNR]

Sorry dude but I laugh at YOUR imcompetence. Sorry but fat chicks dont count.ROFL

I only bang girls that are 8s or higher.

Plus it sounds like you have the hots for your friend. Something you want to "come out " and tell us dude?ROFL

I would like to see those pics, as all I have seen from you is a 6 on one side and a 4 on the other.

[rambleonthruthefog]

i've knocked up more than one chick.

[StcChief]

The way I figure it, any student can bang one of these flaky blonde 25 year old teachers nowadays. But when I was in high school, I went to the top of the scholastic food chain: one of the secretaries in the school office.

Oh yes. She was in her early 40's, way cute, kinda short, big boobies. Her son also went to the school, but he wasn't really a friend of mine. I worked in the school office one period a day, and she liked me, and she was going through a divorce. I think she just wanted to know if she still had it.

SHE DID.

(Extra bonus: many of my tardies and skips weren't counted against me)

and you didn't brag, or do stupid sh1t to get her fired.... unlike the num-skulls now..



rep.

[DaneMcCloud]

Sorry dude but I laugh at YOUR imcompetence. Sorry but fat chicks dont count.ROFL

I only bang girls that are 8s or higher.

Plus it sounds like you have the hots for your friend. Something you want to "come out " and tell us dude?ROFL

Wow, I didn't realize that you were also a jealous asshole. I thought you were just an asshole.

Thanks for clearing that up, junior.

[Micjones]

Wonder were all the women are?
I keed I keed

and to Midnight..Fat chicks DO count. Know why? Cause they give the best head.
(cause they're always hungery! yes i can say this cause I'm a fat chick)

Where are you located Kindra?
:D

[kepp]

ALso my stats should soar once I go to Australia next summer for "business" haha. I hear the ratio to guys and girls is insanely in the guys' favor.

Could you tell them that you're from Canada, please?

[teedubya]

i met my wife too early in life, in NOV 1997. Luckily I had the 3sum in Sept 1997.

After meeting her, no more strange. I should have met my wife when I was 30 dammit.

[Dave Lane]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa. I've been with numerous women that have fake tatas...nothing special.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

I had that many since the first of the year....

Dave

[StcChief]

Wow, I didn't realize that you were also a jealous asshole. I thought you were just an asshole.

Thanks for clearing that up, junior.
well maybe some of the Blokes in Aust will set him straight.....

weren't they England's penile colony.... he may not come back, and that would be very good for America

[DaneMcCloud]

well maybe some of the Blokes in Aust will set him straight.....

weren't they England's penile colony.... he may not come back, and that would be very good for America

Right on.

[Adept Havelock]

well maybe some of the Blokes in Aust will set him straight.....

weren't they England's penile colony.... he may not come back, and that would be very good for America

Likely, he'll find connubial bliss with some jumbuck, and never be heard of again.

[Dave Lane]

well maybe some of the Blokes in Aust will set him straight.....

weren't they England's penile colony.... he may not come back, and that would be very good for America

I like the use of penile instead of penal!! Unintended humor is awesome :)

Dave

[damaticous]

Wow, you got with a girl that had fake boobs. Here is your trophy.:rolleyes:
Thats not exactly a "milestone" playa. I've been with numerous women that have fake tatas...nothing special.

I have had a number of threesomes all thru out college and after college...so not really a milestone for me.

I have banged a total of 29 chicks by the age of 25. One of my best friends have reached the century mark.:eek:

29 chick by the time you were 25???? amature

[Spicy McHaggis]

well maybe some of the Blokes in Aust will set him straight.....

weren't they England's penile colony.... he may not come back, and that would be very good for America

I hate to generalize but most of the Aussie's I know/have known are at least half nuts. Definitely someone that you want to have your back in a fight and all really cool guys to hang with.

I dated a couple of Australian girls my first year in college and when I broke it off with one of them she chucked a beer bottle at me because she thought I was cheating on her with her friend.

[Huffman83]

I hate to generalize but most of the Aussie's I know/have known are at least half nuts. Definitely someone that you want to have your back in a fight and all really cool guys to hang with.

I dated a couple of Australian girls my first year in college and when I broke it off with one of them she chucked a beer bottle at me because she thought I was cheating on her with her friend.

...But were you cheating?

[penguinz]

I only bang girls that are 8s or higher.
Non of the pics you have posted have a 7 let alone an 8 or higher in them.

[Midnight_Vulture]

Here's the deal, Dude.

Having a "Big" personality is much more attractive (especially at a bar) and will get you laid 10x as many times as saying "I've got a big cock" or "Check out my buff bod".

If you have a cool look and you're extremely personable and can walk into a bar with confidence, immediately start talking to everyone (guys and girls included), buy shots, make friends then BAM!

Chicks are everywhere.

They want to be a part of the "show" and hang out. I'm not talking about being a douchebag, I'm talking about being a fun guy, partying and so forth. In all likelihood, you're going to hook up with someone. Just be cool (I think that people don't know what that means). Cool is cool.

It's up to you whether she's a 4 or an 8 (10's don't hang out in bars).

It's not that difficult. Chicks wanna get laid, too.

Hahaha what a load of BS. If all you are saying is that chicks just want a "nice personality" you are full of crap. Why are you feeding this garbage to these poor suckers like that?

Girls actually do go for guys with "buff bods"...for example, me. If I let myself go like a lot of you old farts on here I wouldnt have a chance in hell with dime pieces thats for sure.

With that being said, I have talked to a lot of girls and they all agree that penis size matters too. Lucky for me I am very well endowed and I know how to use it to...or so I have been told.:thumb:

Take it from me, a LOT of girls are really shallow. They want excitement, hot looking guys with tan nice bodies...not fat, old, ugly and hairy and can barely get it up.

Oh and having a bike doesnt hurt either.:D

[Baby Lee]

Hahaha what a load of BS. If all you are saying is that chicks just want a "nice personality" you are full of crap. Why are you feeding this garbage to these poor suckers like that?

Girls actually do go for guys with "buff bods"...for example, me. If I let myself go like a lot of you old farts on here I wouldnt have a chance in hell with dime pieces thats for sure.

With that being said, I have talked to a lot of girls and they all agree that penis size matters too. Lucky for me I am very well endowed and I know how to use it to...or so I have been told.:thumb:

Take it from me, a LOT of girls are really shallow. They want excitement, hot looking guys with tan nice bodies...not fat, old, ugly and hairy and can barely get it up.

Oh and having a bike doesnt hurt either.:D

Violet Beuregarde is not an authority on what women want, no matter how much Oompa-fever she has.

[Old Dog]

My most memorable one was actually totally innocent on my part. 17 years old had been sleeping with a chick for about three weeks, she called to say she was home alone and I should come over. I went to her parents place, hit it and was still laying there in bed when her twin sister walked in and lost her f**king mind..........the one that walked in was the one I had been dating (she didn't believe that I didn't know it was her sister that I was in bed with). Apparently they had been in a arguing or something and the 2nd sister figured that would be a good way to "hurt" the other. Never went out with her again.

So technically, "slept with twins", but it wasn't as cool as one would imagine.

[SPATCH]

somebody else's school bus story reminded me of one that I had..

15 years old- I made the varsity track team as a freshman, and coming home on the bus from a track meet a junior girl sat next to me... she said she was cold and threw a blanket over us. she proceeded to give me the sweetest hand-job that i have ever received. she had skills.

Edit: ROFL forgot.... the next year, she gave my best friend a hand-job in the middle of art class.. and the dumbass jizzed himself ROFLROFLROFL

[Pablo]

Kindergarten, 6 years old, made the teacher beg for my Nutter Butter, if you know what I mean. Hosed her down good.

By the time I was 7, I finger-banged 19 girls. 16 of those were under the Turtle sandbox...dirty bitches love sand in their twats. The others I popped while they hung above me on the monkey bars.

By the time I was 14 I'd had sex with 76 women, 8 mules, a mailbox and 9 watermelons.

By the time I was 19 all those numbers had tripled. The mules quadrupled.

Now I'm 21 and I'm in the priest-hood, so I'm definitely done now.

For real. That all happened.

[StcChief]

Kindergarten, 6 years old, made the teacher beg for my Nutter Butter, if you know what I mean. Hosed her down good.

By the time I was 7, I finger-banged 19 girls. 16 of those were under the Turtle sandbox...dirty bitches love sand in their twats. The others I popped while they hung above me on the monkey bars.

By the time I was 14 I'd had sex with 76 women, 8 mules, a mailbox and 9 watermelons.

By the time I was 19 all those numbers had tripled. The mules quadrupled.

Now I'm 21 and I'm in the priest-hood, so I'm definitely done now.

For real. That all happened.
now get down to Australia and hump some Kangeroo's and Panda Bears

what are you waiting on.

[Nightfyre]

I can't allow this thread to reach one hundred posts in good consciousness for Mr. Fax.





















Dammit.

[DaneMcCloud]

Hahaha what a load of BS. If all you are saying is that chicks just want a "nice personality" you are full of crap. Why are you feeding this garbage to these poor suckers like that?

God, you're a douche.

I said "cool" and "fun", not some over-blown egomaniac like yourself, with bloated self-worth.

In other words, a ****ing douchebag.

Girls actually do go for guys with "buff bods"...for example, me. If I let myself go like a lot of you old farts on here I wouldnt have a chance in hell with dime pieces thats for sure.

I absolutely guarantee that with your "look", you wouldn't be able to pull any hot chicks in Hollywood. But you'd get plenty of cock in WeHo.

With that being said, I have talked to a lot of girls and they all agree that penis size matters too. Lucky for me I am very well endowed and I know how to use it to...or so I have been told.:thumb:

What-the-****-ever. Seems to me that that thing should have shriveled up and fallen off by now. 29 girls at age 25? Were you married for 7 of those years or something? For a so-called "Playa", your game sucks.

Take it from me, a LOT of girls are really shallow. They want excitement, hot looking guys with tan nice bodies...not fat, old, ugly and hairy and can barely get it up.

Wow, I never knew that bar-girls were shallow! Thanks for the tip.:rolleyes:

And what's you're ****ing deal with thinking that everyone over the age of 30 is fat, hairy and ugly? Dude, my "body" is just as good as yours (if not better), I have five times as much hair on my head, better features and a "vibe". You're vibe says "DouchNozzle". Oh, and I'm not a dick.

Oh and having a bike doesnt hurt either.:D

Yeah, I'm sure you'd score plenty of hot chicks (I mean REAL 8's not 4's posing as 8's) in Manhattan or Hollywood, just from the mere mention of your rice rocket. ROFLROFL

The 4's you hook up with in your city may not be able to see through your obvious douchebaggery but let me tell you Junior, your shit wouldn't fly anywhere else.

[Pablo]

Oh, and I'm not a dick.



We were all on board with you Dane. Then you had to throw that out there.

[Chiefnj2]

Vulture and Dane arguing who is prettier. This is a classic. If Luzap comes in and argues that his money trumps their looks then you'll never find a better thread, ever.

[DaneMcCloud]

We were all on board with you Dane. Then you had to throw that out there.

Yeah, I went too far there, didn't I? :D

[Pablo]

Yeah, I went too far there, didn't I?Just a smidgen.

[Midnight_Vulture]

God, you're a douche.

I said "cool" and "fun", not some over-blown egomaniac like yourself, with bloated self-worth.

In other words, a ****ing douchebag.



I absolutely guarantee that with your "look", you wouldn't be able to pull any hot chicks in Hollywood. But you'd get plenty of cock in WeHo.



What-the-****-ever. Seems to me that that thing should have shriveled up and fallen off by now. 29 girls at age 25? Were you married for 7 of those years or something? For a so-called "Playa", your game sucks.



Wow, I never knew that bar-girls were shallow! Thanks for the tip.:rolleyes:

And what's you're ****ing deal with thinking that everyone over the age of 30 is fat, hairy and ugly? Dude, my "body" is just as good as yours (if not better), I have five times as much hair on my head, better features and a "vibe". You're vibe says "DouchNozzle". Oh, and I'm not a dick.



Yeah, I'm sure you'd score plenty of hot chicks (I mean REAL 8's not 4's posing as 8's) in Manhattan or Hollywood, just from the mere mention of your rice rocket. ROFLROFL

The 4's you hook up with in your city may not be able to see through your obvious douchebaggery but let me tell you Junior, your shit wouldn't fly anywhere else.

Prove you are just as good lookin as me. All you have to do is post a pic of yourself...thats what I thought. Too chicken shit to do so.ROFL

And I was in a number of serious relationships and never cheated. So thats why my numbers arent as high as some of my playa friends who are over 100 girls.

Doesnt matter though, my numbers will be increasing dramatically once I get to go on a couple of vacations and business trips that my job is allowing me.:thumb:

[Pablo]

Jesus, MV turns every thread he posts in into a Hall of Classics contender.

I've got some serious post-envy.

[SPATCH]

holy shit

[Midnight_Vulture]

Oh and to the douchebag I was talking to (cant even remember his name haha). I have banged a couple of chicks in the Hollywood/LA area. While I was visiting my friend who went to USC at the time. Good times indeed. So there goes your little theory haha.

[JuicesFlowing]

Blow job while driving when I was 17. Road Head is nice.

[Pablo]

Oh and to the douchebag I was talking to (cant even remember his name haha). You just have to scroll up. It's pretty easy to find his name out. But if you don't have time for that, I understand.

[Pablo]

Blow job while driving when I was 17. Road Head is nice.Stop f*cking up the MV/Dane McCloud showdown.

[StcChief]

Yeah, I'm sure you'd score plenty of hot chicks (I mean REAL 8's not 4's posing as 8's) in Manhattan or Hollywood, just from the mere mention of your rice rocket. ROFLROFL

The 4's you hook up with in your city may not be able to see through your obvious douchebaggery but let me tell you Junior, your shit wouldn't fly anywhere else.

real question in ATL are they "southern girls" or Yankee transplants?

[ChiefsOne]

Move to change Dane's name to DaneMcCloud_Vulture


I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

He surpassed that goal.

You, sir, are an amatuer.

[DeezNutz]

Who will go to the tape measure first? And will Goatse be asked to hold?

[DaneMcCloud]

Prove you are just as good lookin as me. All you have to do is post a pic of yourself...thats what I thought. Too chicken shit to do so.ROFL

And I was in a number of serious relationships and never cheated. So thats why my numbers arent as high as some of my playa friends who are over 100 girls.

Doesnt matter though, my numbers will be increasing dramatically once I get to go on a couple of vacations and business trips that my job is allowing me.:thumb:

Dude, I don't have to prove anything to a 25-year-old punk who's ready to come out of the closet.

Why should I provide you whackin' material? Run out of pics on the internet so you start trolling Chiefsplanet for dudes willing to show pics for your personal enjoyment?

No thanks.

[Nzoner]

Hahaha what a load of BS. If all you are saying is that chicks just want a "nice personality" you are full of crap. Why are you feeding this garbage to these poor suckers like that?

Girls actually do go for guys with "buff bods"...for example, me. If I let myself go like a lot of you old farts on here I wouldnt have a chance in hell with dime pieces thats for sure.

With that being said, I have talked to a lot of girls and they all agree that penis size matters too. Lucky for me I am very well endowed and I know how to use it to...or so I have been told.:thumb:

Take it from me, a LOT of girls are really shallow. They want excitement, hot looking guys with tan nice bodies...not fat, old, ugly and hairy and can barely get it up.

Oh and having a bike doesnt hurt either.:D


Damn fellas we ought to feel special,we have our own male version of Sue Johansen right here on CP.

[RNR]

Midnight rocks! anyone can tell he is full of shit but he gets people to take the bait anyway! Outstanding! the troll bar has been raised and he is the dipshit they will all be compared to. It is offical I am a fan ROFL

[Amnorix]

I laugh at your incompetence.

I "banged" three times that many by age 21. By age 30 (when I met my wife), that number had increased tenfold.

But I am lame. One of my best friends has been with more than 500 girls (well, far more than 500, actually). At one point, he moved to Padre Island during Spring Break 1994 with the goal of "banging" 100 chicks in 90 days.

So 90 chicks by 21, and 900 by 30. Okay.....

[KCUnited]

http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/5184/mvaidslu0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[DaneMcCloud]

So 90 chicks by 21, and 900 by 30. Okay.....

30 by 21, 300 or more by 30.

It was late, bad math, blah, blah, blah.

My bad.

[StcChief]

I've been thinking that for awhile....but a chlorine in the gene pool is good, sure wouldn't want little douche's running around

[RNR]

So 90 chicks by 21, and 900 by 30. Okay.....

Wilt McCloud ROFL

[DaneMcCloud]

Oh and to the douchebag I was talking to (cant even remember his name haha). I have banged a couple of chicks in the Hollywood/LA area. While I was visiting my friend who went to USC at the time. Good times indeed. So there goes your little theory haha.

Oh, I missed this gem.

Where? Where did you meet them and where did you "bang" them?

It's a well known fact that there are very specific areas in which USC people live and party.

This should be interesting.

[DaneMcCloud]

Wilt McCloud ROFL

Yeah, I deserve that. Major miswording on my part.

[RNR]

Yeah, I deserve that. Major miswording on my part.
Just messing around :D I think this Midnight guy is a hoot! You will never pin him down he will just change threads and find someone else to screw with.

[Nzoner]

I think this Midnight guy is a hoot!

I think a mod should change his nik to Midnight Sexspurt

[Amnorix]

30 by 21, 300 or more by 30.

It was late, bad math, blah, blah, blah.

My bad.


That's ok. For the record, 900 by 30 would mean that if you got started at the ripe old age of 15, you nailed a different chick every week, EVERY week, for all 15 years.

Maybe some can pull that off, but unless they're rock stars, athletes or movie stars, I'd be pretty damn shocked.

That's what makes Wilt Chamberlain's claim of 100,000 women a joke. Simple math tells you that that is nearly 7 different chicks EVERY DAY for 40 years. Yeah....no. That's obviously just completely impossible.

[RNR]

I think a mod should change his nik to Midnight Sexspurt

I am guessing a members alter ego or a 16 year old having the time of his life getting people worked up over his silly ass claims. Too funny!

[sedated]

17-24ish: ex was a fake boob multi orgasmic squirter. (seriously)

that label fits my current g/f perfectly.

also, I wouldn't say she's a nympho, but she never says no.

[Pablo]

that label fits my current g/f perfectly.

also, I wouldn't say she's a nympho, but she never says no.Does she ever say 'yes'?

F*cking rapist.

[Sure-Oz]

Does she ever say 'yes'?

F*cking rapist.

ROFL

[SPATCH]

I am guessing a members alter ego or a 16 year old having the time of his life getting people worked up over his silly ass claims. Too funny!

i thought he was a dupe too... but apparently he's not. according to DaFace anyway

[sedated]

Does she ever say 'yes'?

F*cking rapist.

I always assume the mumble through the ball-gag is a 'yes'

[Skip Towne]

i thought he was a dupe too... but apparently he's not. according to DaFace anyway

Maybe not a dupe but he IS a thief.

[DaneMcCloud]

Maybe not a dupe but he IS a thief.

He's certainly an oxygen thief

[Bowser]

ALso my stats should soar once I go to Australia next summer for "business" haha. I hear the ratio to guys and girls is insanely in the guys' favor.

I've heard this as well. And, Austrailian women LOVE American men. It's the accents that do it for them. Heh.

Have fun.

[SPATCH]

He's certainly an oxygen thief

(sigh) ok

[DeezNutz]

That's ok. For the record, 900 by 30 would mean that if you got started at the ripe old age of 15, you nailed a different chick every week, EVERY week, for all 15 years.

Maybe some can pull that off, but unless they're rock stars, athletes or movie stars, I'd be pretty damn shocked.

That's what makes Wilt Chamberlain's claim of 100,000 women a joke. Simple math tells you that that is nearly 7 different chicks EVERY DAY for 40 years. Yeah....no. That's obviously just completely impossible.

I agree that Wilt's numbers have to be a joke, but Dane's initial claim is probably fairly accurate for some.

I had an old college buddy who once went 30 for 30. 30 nights out, 30 straight scores, 30 different women. They were not all hot. Some were, and some weren't. After this display, I didn't put much stock in "how many" because this guy proved it's really a matter of how many you want, not how many you can get.

[Fairplay]

that label fits my current g/f perfectly.

also, I wouldn't say she's a nympho, but she never says no.



Or asleep...or dead.

[Bowser]

He's certainly an oxygen thief

Heh.

Dude, do you live a life like Ari Gold? Please say you do.

[Fairplay]

Where? Where did you meet them and where did you "bang" them?

It's a well known fact that there are very specific areas in which USC people live and party.

This should be interesting.



I want Midnite_queer to answer this one Dane. Thoroughly also.

This will bust him. He's probably furiously googling up night spots in that area now.

[DaneMcCloud]

Heh.

Dude, do you live a life like Ari Gold? Please say you do.

No one lives like Ari Gold, though I'd certainly love to be one of his clients :)

But if I had owned my home before I got married...

[Direckshun]

I have to know, Dane, and maybe I'll regret asking:

If 10s don't hang out at bars, where do they hang out?

(Spare me, a naive small-towner from the Midwest.)

[RNR]

i thought he was a dupe too... but apparently he's not. according to DaFace anyway

Well whoever he is he is plainly full of shit and he keeps threads going. At first I was a little fired up with his posts but as time went by he just makes me chucle now. No matter the suject he has some huge claim and then once the bait is taken he reels one in. We are witness to troll greatness!

[munkey]

http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/5184/mvaidslu0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

That is NOT 8 and up material....He must have had the beer goggles on.

[SPATCH]

Well whoever he is he is plainly full of shit and he keeps threads going. At first I was a little fired up with his posts but as time went by he just makes me chucle now. No matter the suject he has some huge claim and then once the bait is taken he reels one in. We are witness to troll greatness!

no, i feel exactly the same way... i guarantee this is some guy with a sense of humor far beyond any of ours, and he's clowning all of us...

some people meet his comments with outrage. i can't help but laugh at his comments... i'm just glad to be witness to the genius that is. midnight vulture

[blueballs]

good lord
I can't jack off that much

[gblowfish]

Hmmm....

16: Parking Lot Fairyland Park (before Worlds of Fun was built). She drank a bunch of Boone's Farm wine and almost puked on me. Not good for the self esteem, for either of us....

17: 50 yardline of HS football field at Midnight, nobody else around.
He scores!!!

18: Sandbar bank of the Missouri River, first St. Louis Blonde chick.

19: In the air studio of college radio station while I was on the air, again, around midnight. Put on "Tied to the Whipping Post" by Allman Bros and went to work.

20: On the bar...on top of the bar....where I worked after closing time around 3AM. Wild chick from Springfield.

20: Grateful Dead Concert in downtown KC, altered state, went to a closed off parking garage floor at the Holiday Inn across from Municipal Auditorium, it was filled with old mattresses, because the hotel was being rennovated...bounced around on several mattresses and tried several new and unusual things...

25: Did the bosses' daughter, she was 18, wore her mom's fur stole while we did it. Like boinking Ginger on Gilligan's Island...

26: First MILF. I was 26, she was about 39. Tore me up. Walked funny for a week.

35: Got married, that's all she wrote!

[Midnight_Vulture]

Dude, I don't have to prove anything to a 25-year-old punk who's ready to come out of the closet.

Why should I provide you whackin' material? Run out of pics on the internet so you start trolling Chiefsplanet for dudes willing to show pics for your personal enjoyment?

No thanks.

Hahaha its quite clear that I have gotten completely under your skin.ROFL

With that being said, I have also owned you on here so stop embarrassing yourself.

You how much better lookin that I am but where is the pic to back it up? Yep you were too chicken shit to post it.
And i proved to you that I banged a couple of girls while I was in LA on my couple of visits there...OWNED again.

You lose.ROFL:thumb:

[vailpass]

Hahaha its quite clear that I have gotten completely under your skin.ROFL

With that being said, I have also owned you on here so stop embarrassing yourself.

You how much better lookin that I am but where is the pic to back it up? Yep you were too chicken shit to post it.
And i proved to you that I banged a couple of girls while I was in LA on my couple of visits there...OWNED again.

You lose.ROFL:thumb:

This kid is funny.

[Pablo]

I'm half-tempted to give MV positive rep for his comic relief.

What say you Planet?

[KCUnited]

HIV+ rep maybe.

[DaneMcCloud]

I have to know, Dane, and maybe I'll regret asking:

If 10s don't hang out at bars, where do they hang out?

(Spare me, a naive small-towner from the Midwest.)

Hey man, I'm a Kansas kid. No worries!

The so-called "10's" go to private parties, special events, after-parties, after-games (the chicks are insane after Laker games), etc.

When girls are that hot, they don't need to go to the bars and nightclubs to meet "normal" guys. They've pretty much got carte-blanche to hit all the really happening spots and hang out with the super-wealthy.

Go ahead and call me "Name Dropper", but I went to a private party last year that was held by Kiefer Sutherland. He rented out an entire nightclub and the food and drink were free all night (and he was the coolest - he personally served me some hors d'oeuvres).

Without saying, the women were absolutely stunning (besides Brooke Shields, who I met as well :whackit:). I have no idea where these girls came from or where they went afterward, but it was absolutely insane.

And then of course, there's the Mansion. But that's a whole different "type" of girl, IYKWIM.

But there's nothing wrong with an "LA 8", which can be found everywhere: grocery stores, the gym, restaurants, etc.

[Pablo]

HIV+ rep maybe.Oh snap.

[Midnight_Vulture]

Oh, I missed this gem.

Where? Where did you meet them and where did you "bang" them?

It's a well known fact that there are very specific areas in which USC people live and party.

This should be interesting.

Started out the night by going to one of my buddies' friends frat. No clue what frat is was but there was a lot of tail there and the ratio was in our favor. Then after getting completely wasted there by playing an endless amount of beerpong they decided they wanted to go to a club.

It was the 901 club or something like that. My buddy has pics from that night Ill have to get them from him. All of them called it the "9 ohh" or something like that.

Good times indeed.

Still too chicken shit to show your pic huh? Hahaha thought so.

[DaneMcCloud]

Hahaha its quite clear that I have gotten completely under your skin.ROFL

With that being said, I have also owned you on here so stop embarrassing yourself.

You how much better lookin that I am but where is the pic to back it up? Yep you were too chicken shit to post it.
And i proved to you that I banged a couple of girls while I was in LA on my couple of visits there...OWNED again.

You lose.ROFL:thumb:


The only thing you've proved is that you're a jackass of epic proportion, the likes of which has never been seen in the history of Chiefsplanet.

Again, where did you meet these "chicks" in Los Angeles? As I mentioned earlier, USC peeps are known to stay in ONE area, so if you can be specific, I'll be more than happy to confirm or deny your claim.

And while I know you want to get under my skin, I don't go that way. I'm only into women.

[Rooster]

This kid is funny.

He can be entertaining but so can the Special Olympics so it's kinda a push.

[Midnight_Vulture]

Hey man, I'm a Kansas kid. No worries!

The so-called "10's" go to private parties, special events, after-parties, after-games (the chicks are insane after Laker games), etc.

When girls are that hot, they don't need to go to the bars and nightclubs to meet "normal" guys. They've pretty much got carte-blanche to hit all the really happening spots and hang out with the super-wealthy.

Go ahead and call me "Name Dropper", but I went to a private party last year that was held by Kiefer Sutherland. He rented out an entire nightclub and the food and drink were free all night (and he was the coolest - he personally served me some hors d'oeuvres).

Without saying, the women were absolutely stunning (besides Brooke Shields, who I met as well :whackit:). I have no idea where these girls came from or where they went afterward, but it was absolutely insane.

And then of course, there's the Mansion. But that's a whole different "type" of girl, IYKWIM.

But there's nothing wrong with an "LA 8", which can be found everywhere: grocery stores, the gym, restaurants, etc.

What a name dropping homo you are. Hahaha I bet you think you and Keither are blood brothers now hahaha.

[Hammock Parties]

**** all of you.

[DaneMcCloud]

It was the 901 club or something like that. My buddy has pics from that night Ill have to get them from him. All of them called it the "9 ohh" or something like that.

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

That's not a nightclub or even a hotspot - that's a sports bar. The 9-0 Sludge??

I bet the "chicks" you picked up there were really hot. :rolleyes:

You become a bigger douchebag with each passing post. But keep it up.

It's entertaining.

[Midnight_Vulture]

ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL

That's not a nightclub or even a hotspot - that's a sports bar. The 9-0 Sludge??

I bet the "chicks" you picked up there were really hot. :rolleyes:

You become a bigger douchebag with each passing post. But keep it up.

It's entertaining.

Ummmm I was in college, with my college friends so what difference does it make. There were plenty of trim there so thats all that matters. Now go suck Keither Sutherland off hahahaa

[Midnight_Vulture]

Still no pic huh? Hahahaha thats what I thought.

[gblowfish]

This kid is funny.

Fred Garvin.
Male Prostitute.

At his finest:

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/fred-garvin-male-prostitute/796601796

[SPATCH]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off

[RNR]

no, i feel exactly the same way... i guarantee this is some guy with a sense of humor far beyond any of ours, and he's clowning all of us...

some people meet his comments with outrage. i can't help but laugh at his comments... i'm just glad to be witness to the genius that is. midnight vulture
ROFL Well genius and a sense of humor beyond ours is a reach! But as far as trolls go he is pretty good.

[stumppy]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off


ROFL

[Rooster]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off

ROFLROFL

[stumppy]

ROFL Well genius and a sense of humor beyond ours is a reach! But as far as trolls go he is pretty good.


He's probably the prettiest troll ever to grace the board.

[Hammock Parties]

He's probably the prettiest troll ever to grace the board.

I agree. He's quite attractive. I'd like to see some more shots of his abs.

[kepp]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off

Zoolander?

[Pablo]

I agree. He's quite attractive. I'd like to see some more shots of his abs.I really can't tell if you're serious at times.

[Adept Havelock]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off

Nobody drop any baking soda, or we'll have an explosion that makes the Bill Nye tragedy look like a blasting cap.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28326

[DaneMcCloud]

Ummmm I was in college, with my college friends so what difference does it make. There were plenty of trim there so thats all that matters. Now go suck Keither Sutherland off hahahaa

What difference does it make? Are you ****ing kidding me?

If you were so "hot", why didn't you and your friends hit some Hollywood spots?

Oh, that's right. You're not hot and you'd just end up standing in line all night.

At least you got some "prime" USC tail at the skankiest college bar in the Los Angeles area.

Nice ROFL

[DaneMcCloud]

I really can't tell if you're serious at times.

I've asked the same question.

NTTATWWT

[eazyb81]

DOUCHE-OFF....

its a douche-off

ROFL

No shit, this is hilarious.

[DaneMcCloud]

ROFL

No shit, this is hilarious.


I might as well play his game.

Most people already think I'm a douchebag so I've got nothing to lose.

And this guy is as entertaining as the come.

[Fairplay]

I'm half-tempted to give MV positive rep for his comic relief.


He gave give his own hand reps tonight.

[Direckshun]

Somewhere between frat party and beer pong, he lost me.

[Direckshun]

He gave give his own hand reps tonight.
Ever since I became accustomed to ChiefsPlanet, I consistently call whacking myself off "positive rep."

[Bowser]

Ever since I became accustomed to ChiefsPlanet, I consistently call whacking myself off "positive rep."

Dude, got to the doctor. It isn't supposed to be green.

[KCrockaholic]

I agree. He's quite attractive. I'd like to see some more shots of his abs.

...yeah i cant tell if your serious sometimes as well...

[SPATCH]

well, i'm going to go ahead and declare McCloud the winner...

that was the smuggest douche-baggery i've ever been witness to

[DaneMcCloud]

well, i'm going to go ahead and declare McCloud the winner...

that was the smuggest douche-baggery i've ever been witness to

Thanks, n00b.

But I've owned that title for years around here :evil:

[Bowser]

well, i'm going to go ahead and declare McCloud the winner...

that was the smuggest douche-baggery i've ever been witness to

Welcome to ChiefsPlanet, where threads never end up as intended.

[Hammock Parties]

Anyone ****ed on a boat?

[Skip Towne]

Why is nobody having sex on a golf green? That's pretty common.

[Fairplay]

Why is nobody having sex on a golf green? That's pretty common.

Or the 50 yard line of a football field.

[SPATCH]

Or the 50 yard line of a football field.

someone did... its earlier in the thread somewhere

[luv]

26 - gave first bj
27 - lost virginity

That's it. Nothing too kinky, I guess.

[Spicy McHaggis]

...But were you cheating?

Yeah, but not with her friend. I think what happened (this might get convoluted) was that the other girl who I was cheating with told my g/f at the time that I was cheating. Only instead of admitting to my girlfriend that she was the other party she tried to pin it on my g/f's friend.

It's not an episode I'm particularly proud of in my relationship history and I'm happy to say that it hasn't happened since. And that beer bottle missed my head by inches.

[Midnight_Vulture]

27 - lost virginity

.

ROFL

Did you meet him on the internet?

[Midnight_Vulture]

DaneMcCloud is STILL too scarred to post a pic of himself. He knows we would rip him to shreds.

"But but but but I meet Keither Sutherland once!"

Bwahahaha next time you and Keither hang out, take the keys from him. I would hate for him to get another DUI haha.

[DaneMcCloud]

ROFL

Did you meet him on the internet?

JFC.

You're such a dick.

[Direckshun]

You do know it's Keifer, right.

[DaneMcCloud]

DaneMcCloud is STILL too scarred to post a pic of himself. He knows we would rip him to shreds.

"But but but but I meet Keither Sutherland once!"

Bwahahaha next time you and Keither hang out, take the keys from him. I would hate for him to get another DUI haha.

Whatever, Junior.

Posting a picture of myself on Chiefplanet isn't going to prove anything. Are you going to judge my looks?

If so, doesn't that make you GAY? (NTTATWWT).

[Midnight_Vulture]

Actually I want to see a pic of you so I can laugh my ass off. Thats pretty much it but because you are too chicken shit to do so it probably wont happen. You're too scarred.

[kstater]

Actually I want to see a pic of you so I can laugh my ass off. Thats pretty much it but because you are too chicken shit to do so it probably wont happen. You're too scarred.

So you're saying you have nothing better to do all day than wait around on the internet for some guy to post a picture of himself? NTTAWWT.

[DaneMcCloud]

Actually I want to see a pic of you so I can laugh my ass off. Thats pretty much it but because you are too chicken shit to do so it probably wont happen. You're too scarred.

Yeah Dude, I'm "scarred".

What university did you attend again?

[Skip Towne]

Yeah Dude, I'm "scarred".

What university did you attend again?

I seriously doubt that he has any education. He's just too stupid.

[The Franchise]

ROFL

Did you meet him on the internet?

I know I'll be laughing when you die of AIDS in your studio apartment. ROFL

[luv]

DaneMcCloud is STILL too scarred to post a pic of himself. He knows we would rip him to shreds.

"But but but but I meet Keither Sutherland once!"

Bwahahaha next time you and Keither hang out, take the keys from him. I would hate for him to get another DUI haha.

I've heard of Keifer Sutherland, but who the hell is Keither? And do you mean scared? Your place of employment must not have a standard for education required to do your job.

[SPATCH]

aaaaaaaannnndd Midnight Vulture comes ROARING back in the Douche-Off

[Easy Money]

Haha hah ahah hahahaha ha ha haw pics ha haha aha scarred haha hahas

[Hammock Parties]

Midnight Vulture, show us your ass.

[Skip Towne]

aaaaaaaannnndd Midnight Vulture comes ROARING back in the Douche-Off

I do believe this is the Planet's first Douche-off.

[DeezNutz]

I do believe this is the Planet's first Douche-off.

Just in title, right? Or to this extent? Or both? Though I am still a noob in comparison to the venerable old-timers on the board, I seem to remember quite a few Douche-offs.

[KCGridironBeast]

The Planet is one never ending douche-off.

[Fairplay]

The pic of midnight_douche he looks like a dumbass.

Seriously.

[ChiefsCountry]

I know Dane's neighbor is one fine piece of ass thats for sure.

[Skip Towne]

The pic of midnight_douche he looks like a dumbass.

Seriously.

He looks (and acts) like Eddie Haskell.

[Thig Lyfe]

I've done sex so many times!

[Chiefs=Champions]

I hate to generalize but most of the Aussie's I know/have known are at least half nuts. Definitely someone that you want to have your back in a fight and all really cool guys to hang with.

I dated a couple of Australian girls my first year in college and when I broke it off with one of them she chucked a beer bottle at me because she thought I was cheating on her with her friend.


ill take that as a compliment :D

[Braincase]

I hit 45 next month. Only thing that matters is that I've been faithfully married for 12 years, and before that my dry spells weren't long.

Milestones are fine if you aren't married, I suppose. I'd rather brag about my kids and my wife.

Looks like my boy will be starting center on the 2nd/3rd grade football team, and he'll be one on the few 2nd graders on the team. I think he's a little less 2nd grader and more of a road grader.

[Skip Towne]

I hit 45 next month. Only thing that matters is that I've been faithfully married for 12 years, and before that my dry spells weren't long.

Milestones are fine if you aren't married, I suppose. I'd rather brag about my kids and my wife.

Looks like my boy will be starting center on the 2nd/3rd grade football team, and he'll be one on the few 2nd graders on the team. I think he's a little less 2nd grader and more of a road grader.

45? Nah, nobody is that old.

[Braincase]

Actually I want to see a pic of you so I can laugh my ass off. Thats pretty much it but because you are too chicken shit to do so it probably wont happen. You're too scarred.

I'm the one who's scarred. Multiple knee operations, cancer surgery and a few other accidents and sports injuries will do that to you.

What about you cream puff ? Ever win an athletic letter in something other than douche-baggery?

[Chiefs=Champions]

What an idiot, Australia unlike most of the world has an overwhelming female ratio. You’re such a fukin joke mate; I’m sure you’ll pull plenty playing beer pong, riding motorbikes and visiting sports bars, while over here. Be sure to show us lots of picks of your 9 and 10s.

[blueballs]

why would he need to go where the ratio is favored for women
you can rent a scooter just about anywhere

[Nzoner]

...

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dre0587l.jpg

[Mr. Plow]

"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom"

[luv]

"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom"

I'm crazy. Allow me to amaze thee.

[teedubya]

This thread is awesome.

[Braincase]

What an idiot, Australia unlike most of the world has an overwhelming female ratio. You’re such a fukin joke mate; I’m sure you’ll pull plenty playing beer pong, riding motorbikes and visiting sports bars, while over here. Be sure to show us lots of picks of your 9 and 10s.


"Have your picture taken with me, then I'll tell old men on a bulletin board how I knocked you unconscious by repetitive headboard impact".

Yeah, he's a champ...


Oops, off by a vowel.

[Fire Me Boy!]

I've had a few notable experiences, but the one I want to mention is: 18, college girlfriend for a couple of months was a gymnast.

Bendy girls are fun.

[Skip Towne]

I've had a few notable experiences, but the one I want to mention is: 18, college girlfriend for a couple of months was a gymnast.

Bendy girls are fun.

You had a girlfriend? Who'da thunk it?

[Fire Me Boy!]

You had a girlfriend? Who'da thunk it?

Had to to get married. :p

NOTE: Not the gymnast... that chick was psycho. But again... bendy girls are fun.

[SPATCH]

I've had a few notable experiences, but the one I want to mention is: 18, college girlfriend for a couple of months was a gymnast.

Bendy girls are fun.

very nice

[Fire Me Boy!]

very nice

She was a freshman and just entering the "college whore" phase of her life where she hated her father. I was OK with that. I encouraged her hatred.

[luv]

No one continuing The Humpty Dance? Man, where's KcMizzou when you need him?

[Skip Towne]

Had to to get married. :p

NOTE: Not the gymnast... that chick was psycho. But again... bendy girls are fun.

I'll bet. I've never had a bendy girl.

[SPATCH]

No one continuing The Humpty Dance? Man, where's KcMizzou when you need him?

and all the rappers in the top ten... please allow me to bumb thee

[Thig Lyfe]

Birth through present: Your mom

/Redrum'd

[luv]

and all the rappers in the top ten... please allow me to bumb thee

Thank you! Instant rep!

But I think the next line there was...

They say I'm ugly, but it just don't phase me. I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants, and I've even got my own dance.

I could be wrong though. :)

[SPATCH]

Thank you! Instant rep!

But I think the next line there was...

They say I'm ugly, but it just don't phase me. I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants, and I've even got my own dance.

I could be wrong though. :)

i was like 3 or 4 when that song came out, so give me a little credit

[luv]

i was like 3 or 4 when that song came out, so give me a little credit

That's what the rep's for. I'm very proud of you. :D:p

[Skip Towne]

i was like 3 or 4 when that song came out, so give me a little credit

How old are you now?

[SPATCH]

How old are you now?

20

[Simply Red]

Thank god for this thread.

[Direckshun]

Birth through present: Your mom

/Redrum'd
You just got REDRUM'D!

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN
NEVER GONNA TURN AROUND
AND DESERT YOU

[Skip Towne]

20

Why do you have that gay avatar? Are you swishy?

[DeezNutz]

People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'

[DaneMcCloud]

Why do you have that gay avatar? Are you swishy?

That's Ewan MacGregor from "Trainspotting".

Very cool, very trippy, very real movie.

[RNR]

That's Ewan MacGregor from "Trainspotting".

Very cool, very trippy, very real movie.

Yeah I can see how worthless junkies are hip to some people :rolleyes:

[Easy Money]

I'm the one who said "just grab em in the biscuits"

[Iowanian]

midnight_dickbag's best move I'm told is when he fills his ass full of mentos and diet coke, break dances to a spin and then stands on his head with his skirt up in the middle of the disco.


He'll only do it while listening to James or Bobby BROWN.

[luv]

Man, it's a full time job keeping up with giving out Humpty Dance rep! :)

[SPATCH]

Why do you have that gay avatar? Are you swishy?

sorry?

[Direckshun]

Yeah I can see how worthless junkies are hip to some people :rolleyes:
This thread even has DRIVE BY douching.

Classic.

[Skip Towne]

This thread even has DRIVE BY douching.

Classic.

This thread has it all. It should be in the Douche HOF.