Vasectomy Advice

[NewChief]

If you go in for a vasectomy, tell the doctor to keep shooting you up with local anesthetic until you truly don't feel anything. After I was floundering around on the table:
The doctor said, "What? Are you in pain?"
My reply, "It feels like you're ripping off one of my testicles."
"Would that be your right one."
"Ummm, yes."
"Oh, well. Do you want more anesthetic?"
Being a tough guy, "No, I think I'm okay."
Then the cauterization started.
Thankfully he shot me up with a lot more anesthetic for vas #2 on the left ball, and I got the "painless" experience that had been guaranteed.

[teedubya]

Just say no to ballsack surgery.

[NewChief]

Just say no to ballsack surgery.

On the plus side, I now have vicodin.

[seclark]

On the plus side, I now have vicodin.

good stuff, but not worth going nuts over.
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[teedubya]

yeah but what about your goal to seed the world with your offspring? I'd say your objective has been seriously derailed.

Did the doc put your nutsack in formaldehyde for you wife to keep in a jar?

[gblowfish]

I just have two words for you:

Frozen Peas.

[NewChief]

yeah but what about your goal to seed the world with your offspring? I'd say your objective has been seriously derailed.

Did the doc put your nutsack in formaldehyde for you wife to keep in a jar?

Coincidentally enough, last night was one of the worst nights with our kids since we'd had two.

Our 3 year old kept having bad dreams, and I had to repeatedly get up and lay down with him throughout the night to calm him down. He hasn't not slept through the night in probably 6 months. Our 9 month old decided to wake up at 5am and refuse to go back to bed. My wife and I looked at each other over breakfast at 7am, and just laughed in relief that I was going to have the surgery.

[NewChief]

I just have two words for you:

Frozen Peas.

I'm sitting here right now with a pack of frozen peas stuffed down my pants. It's about time to switch them out with a fresh one out of the freezer.

[mlyonsd]

I was a wuss. I had them put me out. I'm not sure there were enough personnel to hold me down otherwise.

[kepp]

I've been considering this procedure recently...hearing several stories of couples getting pregnant even the the woman had her tubes tied. This and "buy some bags of frozen peas" are probably good pieces of advice. Anything else I should know about? Does insurance usually cover vasectomies?

[NewChief]

I was a wuss. I had them put me out. I'm not sure there were enough personnel to hold me down otherwise.

They gave me a Xanax to take 30 minutes prior to the surgery, which I thought was kind of silly. Once I was layed out on the table with the nurse swabbing my balls down with iodine and sharp instruments laying around, I suddenly understood the rationale for the Xanax.

[NewChief]

I've been considering this procedure recently...hearing several stories of couples getting pregnant even the the woman had her tubes tied. This and "buy some bags of frozen peas" are probably good pieces of advice. Anything else I should know about? Does insurance usually cover vasectomies?

Mine cost $35, plus a $35 consultation prior to the op. It's usually an in-office procedure, so it should be whatever your copay is for two office visits to a specialist.

[Skip Towne]

I'd stop ****ing first.

[seclark]

don't you have to like blow around 30 loads, before the old tank goes dry?
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[NewChief]

don't you have to like blow around 30 loads, before the old tank goes dry?
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Yeah. It says not to start blowing loads for a week or so. Then he told me he wants me to have 18-20 ejaculations prior to bringing in a sample. Then he'll take another sample 4 weeks from them. If that one turns up negative as well, I'm sterile (it's also really creepy the way they talk in terms or "sterile." He referred to the operation as sterilization. I felt like a Nazi was working on me.)

[NewChief]

I'd stop ****ing first.

Just cancel your viagra scrip, and the deal is done. ;)

[Hootie]

how's Trent doing in St. Louis? Any idea? I think he can overtake that overrated Bulger as long as he's got some protection from that line...

[mlyonsd]

I've been considering this procedure recently...hearing several stories of couples getting pregnant even the the woman had her tubes tied. This and "buy some bags of frozen peas" are probably good pieces of advice. Anything else I should know about? Does insurance usually cover vasectomies?

My insurance did.

My advice would be tell your wife/significant other. My wife had been after me for a couple years to do it. So I decide a great Xmas present would be to surprise her. I went to the doc and he gave me the ok after I explained it to him. Supposedly some states require spousal consent or some nonsense like that.

Anyway, Xmas was on Sunday and the preceding Friday I had my friend drive me to the procedure. When he dropped me off after it was through my wife was home. I kind of did a John Wayne type walk into the house and she asked me what was wrong. When I told her "surprise" she was very upset with me for having it done without her knowing about it. No good deed is left unpunished...or some such thing.

At that point I did a dumb thing and decided to buck it up and pretend it didn't bother me. The next day I was up getting ready for Xmas the next day instead of sitting on the couch with the sacrificial bag of peas. Needless to say I wish I had done the pea thing.

On Monday I decided it was good enough to go outside and push snow with the ATV which brings me to my last piece of advice.....don't ride a quad for at least a week.

[NewChief]

how's Trent doing in St. Louis? Any idea? I think he can overtake that overrated Bulger as long as he's got some protection from that line...

He's good. We got to spend the holidays around the 4th with his family. I'm not sure that he's really setting his sights on snagging the job from Bulger, instead settling into his role as a second QB coach on the sidelines (he didn't really say that directly, that's just the impression I got).

[CrazyPhuD]

Why pay a doctor to do it when you can get the same results with a door knob and some string.

[Hootie]

well Bulger is always hurt...

Give Trent time to make his reads and he'd still be one of the best in the NFL IMO...

I think, and have always thought, Bulger is terribly overrated.

But man, good for Trent recovering from his injury and still being able to make $4M a season!

[NewChief]

My insurance did.

My advice would be tell your wife/significant other. My wife had been after me for a couple years to do it. So I decide a great Xmas present would be to surprise her. I went to the doc and he gave me the ok after I explained it to him. Supposedly some states require spousal consent or some nonsense like that.

Anyway, Xmas was on Sunday and the preceding Friday I had my friend drive me to the procedure. When he dropped me off after it was through my wife was home. I kind of did a John Wayne type walk into the house and she asked me what was wrong. When I told her "surprise" she was very upset with me for having it done without her knowing about it. No good deed is left unpunished...or some such thing.

At that point I did a dumb thing and decided to buck it up and pretend it didn't bother me. The next day I was up getting ready for Xmas the next day instead of sitting on the couch with the sacrificial bag of peas. Needless to say I wish I had done the pea thing.

On Monday I decided it was good enough to go outside and push snow with the ATV which brings me to my last piece of advice.....don't ride a quad for at least a week.

My doctor told me that the first day is critical. You often don't feel that bad on the first day, so guys overdo it and act normal. That then brings significant hampering to the recover in subsequent days. He claims that if I do the frozen peas and no exertion for the first 24 hours, the rest should be a breeze.

Sucks about the wife thing. My doctor was very insistent on making sure my wife knew and we'd talked it over.

[BucEyedPea]

If you go in for a vasectomy, tell the doctor to keep shooting you up with local anesthetic until you truly don't feel anything. After I was floundering around on the table:
The doctor said, "What? Are you in pain?"
My reply, "It feels like you're ripping off one of my testicles."
"Would that be your right one."
"Ummm, yes."
"Oh, well. Do you want more anesthetic?"
Being a tough guy, "No, I think I'm okay."
Then the cauterization started.
Thankfully he shot me up with a lot more anesthetic for vas #2 on the left ball, and I got the "painless" experience that had been guaranteed.

You coulda got general anesthetic, if you just had your junk cut off.

[HemiEd]

Yeah. It says not to start blowing loads for a week or so. Then he told me he wants me to have 18-20 ejaculations prior to bringing in a sample. Then he'll take another sample 4 weeks from them. If that one turns up negative as well, I'm sterile (it's also really creepy the way they talk in terms or "sterile." He referred to the operation as sterilization. I felt like a Nazi was working on me.)

Damn, that has sure changed a lot in 32 years. I drove myself home, and never went back, even though they wanted me to come in and leave a sample. Guess it worked, no more kids for me after the procedure.

[ChiefsFire]

They gave me a Xanax to take 30 minutes prior to the surgery, which I thought was kind of silly. Once I was layed out on the table with the nurse swabbing my balls down with iodine and sharp instruments laying around, I suddenly understood the rationale for the Xanax.

You had a nurse playing with your balls AND no more kids?

Sounds like a win/win situation.

[seclark]

Damn, that has sure changed a lot in 32 years. I drove myself home, and never went back, even though they wanted me to come in and leave a sample. Guess it worked, no more kids for me after the procedure.

hell, 32 years ago, they probably just cut and yanked each nut completely out, like they do a hog.
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[blueballs]

you'll be feeling froggy
and shooting blanks in no time

[HemiEd]

hell, 32 years ago, they probably just cut and yanked each nut completely out, like they do a hog.
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LMAO You know, it probably was pretty crude. The doc did it at his office, and I could feel him tying the knots in the vessels. Didn't know about peas, we used an Ice bag.

[seclark]

LMAO You know, it probably was pretty crude. The doc did it at his office, and I could feel him tying the knots in the vessels. Didn't know about peas, we used an Ice bag.

i remember when my dad came home after he had it done back in 1969. poor bastard just went straight to bed. laid there and moaned for a couple days.
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[StcChief]

Yeah. It says not to start blowing loads for a week or so. Then he told me he wants me to have 18-20 ejaculations prior to bringing in a sample. Then he'll take another sample 4 weeks from them. If that one turns up negative as well, I'm sterile (it's also really creepy the way they talk in terms or "sterile." He referred to the operation as sterilization. I felt like a Nazi was working on me.)

but you still had to sign a release??? That your may not come back on him if somehow you become "un-sterile"... rare occasions the Vasdefernce tubes from your testicles (what he cut and burned the ends of) will grow back together.

[HemiEd]

i remember when my dad came home after he had it done back in 1969. poor bastard just went straight to bed. laid there and moaned for a couple days.
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It is good that medicine has advanced the way it has. :eek: Your Dad was one of the early ones, wasn't he? Or heck, maybe I am losing it, when did they start doing this procedure?

Going to work the next day, was not a good move by me.

[StcChief]

It is good that medicine has advanced the way it has. :eek: Your Dad was one of the early ones, wasn't he? Or heck, maybe I am losing it, when did they start doing this procedure?

Going to work the next day, was not a good move by me.my dad had one in 1970. early one (I guess). Friday off his feet all weekend.

[teedubya]

I just keep thinking that when Im 40ish, I may want to upgrade to wife2.0 and will want to seed the world with my wonderful Brazilian supermodel wife.

[StcChief]

I just keep thinking that when Im 40ish, I may want to upgrade to wife2.0 and will want to seed the world with my wonderful Brazilian supermodel wife.with no money (as it's going to wife1.0 and kids from wife1.0).... Brazilian model will be looking "elsewhere" for sugar daddy.

[sedated]

this thread kinda makes me wanna throw up

[StcChief]

this thread kinda makes me wanna throw up
go get a drink. and :bong: hit. Something to look forward to later in life if your ever married and responsible.

[NewChief]

Per instructions, my wife just checked my sutures to make sure they looked okay and weren't swollen or infected looking. She then said, "It looks like you don't have any balls any more." I'm a little concerned at this point that the doctor took the whole sterilization thing a little too seriously. He was Indian... maybe that's the way they do it in Bombay.

[HemiEd]

Per instructions, my wife just checked my sutures to make sure they looked okay and weren't swollen or infected looking. She then said, "It looks like you don't have any balls any more." I'm a little concerned at this point that the doctor took the whole sterilization thing a little too seriously. He was Indian... maybe that's the way they do it in Bombay.

LMAO Here you go, if you really want to impress her, just get busy doing a bunch of heavy work. They will get huge and purple tomorrow, very impressive looking.

[JuicesFlowing]

Coincidentally enough, last night was one of the worst nights with our kids since we'd had two.

Our 3 year old kept having bad dreams, and I had to repeatedly get up and lay down with him throughout the night to calm him down. He hasn't not slept through the night in probably 6 months. Our 9 month old decided to wake up at 5am and refuse to go back to bed. My wife and I looked at each other over breakfast at 7am, and just laughed in relief that I was going to have the surgery.

My wife and I have a 15 month old boy. I haven't had a good night's sleep in ... 15 months. I am pressing the pause button on another child. I totally understand.

[KC Jones]

I need to have this done - we just had a scare that luckily didn't lead to a 3rd lil Jones.

["Bob" Dobbs]

Keep this thread in mind when you all say Saint-Dic has lost his burst.

[alanm]

I can't believe guys would willingly go in to have themselves neutered. :eek::shake::spock:

[Mecca]

I can't believe guys would willingly go in to have themselves neutered. :eek::shake::spock:

I don't want any kids so I'd consider it...

[KC Jones]

I can't believe guys would willingly go in to have themselves neutered. :eek::shake::spock:

... because you're amazed that other men have balls?

:evil:

j/k - but seriously - you are aware that neutering means removal of the balls whereas vasectomy just makes it so you don't procreate?

[ct]

I've been considering this procedure recently...hearing several stories of couples getting pregnant even the the woman had her tubes tied. This and "buy some bags of frozen peas" are probably good pieces of advice. Anything else I should know about? Does insurance usually cover vasectomies?

Mine did not, but they would continue to pay for birth control pills or another pregnancy and years of peds visits, medications, etc. :shrug: No matter, paying for it out of pocket is exponentially cheaper than another kid, think about it. :thumb:

Shave beforehand, requests lots of locals, frozen peas are the shizzle, and rent lots of movies. Stay on you arse for 24 hrs, then you're ok to move around.

Best thing I ever did!! No more condoms, or pills, or counting days, or pulling out (unless it's planned :)

[Joie]

I just keep thinking that when Im 40ish, I may want to upgrade to wife2.0 and will want to seed the world with my wonderful Brazilian supermodel wife.

If you think you may want to upgrade the wife, then talk wife 1.0 into having a tubal ligation so you can still procreate with wife 2.0 while having minimal risk of further procreation with wife 1.0.